Chapter 2: The Bro Code
"Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh Giselle!" Prince Edward flung himself into the Men's Locker Room. Dramatically he squeezed his heart. "She wants a date!"
The gentlemen of Disney World turned. Half were in costumes. Half were in towels. All stared at Prince Edward, utterly bemused.
"A date?" Prince Phillip smoothed his wet hair. "What's a date?"
Prince Edward huffed. Miserably, he laid a hand to his head.
"Oh...it's agony! AGony!"
Prince Edward swooned. The Disney princes gathered him onto the bench. Normally, they would not be so considerate. Prince Edward was rather melodramatic, second only to Emperor Kuzco. Prince Edward neither knew (nor cared) what melodramatic meant, but it defined him perfectly. And it was always annoying.
"Jesus." Jim Hawkins - the anti-Christ of melodrama - slouched against his locker. Darkly surveying Prince Edward, he braided his rattail. "What the Hell. It's just a date. Man the F up."
Peter Pan and Flynn Rider - both spotlight hogs - grinned at Jim.
"Okay Sissy." Peter ruffled his fiery hair until it fluffed like flames. "Just tie your ponytail."
"Guys!" Flynn snapped his towel before the teasing escalated. "Zip it, lock it, put it in your pockets! Ed's breaking down! If he cries, I'm going in for a selfie!"
Peter laughed. Very appreciative of Flynn's prank, he tossed Axe body spray into his locker. Then, reconsidering, he retrieved the spray and spritzed Jim.
"You don't know what a date is!" Peter goofed, ducking behind his locker. "Liar, liar pants on fire!"
Jim glared. "Morons." he muttered, exiting the locker room.
Undaunted, Peter shrugged. He consulted the clock. Two hours to midnight. Grinning, Peter began throwing on his clothes which - incidentally - were identical to his Disney World costume. Green, green, and more green.
Hurriedly, Peter stuffed on his moccasins. Tonight was Thursday night! He and Wendy didn't have evening performances on Thursdays. So every night they raced to see who could change the fastest. First one out of the locker room wins! Oddly enough, Wendy always won. Somehow Peter always got detained by the mirror.
"Okay Eddy." Adjusting his towel, Flynn knelt before Prince Edward. "Share with group. What's a date? And why does Giselle want one?"
"A date!" Prince Edward waved hopelessly. "A date - dear peasants-is a dreadful thing, from what I can surmise! Per my Giselle - ah Giselle. My dear Giselle. My beautiful lady. My heart's true desire. My other half...my one coquette..."
Prince Edward groped dreamily into the distance. He started to sing. "...the answer to my love's duet!"
"Ed!" Flynn smacked Prince Edward aside the head. "Focus! Date!"
"Oh. My pardons, dear peasant. Tis my folly that the mere mention of my lady Giselle renders me a-quiver and - "
"Well quit a-quivering." Flynn said. "And holy mamma, tell us what a freaking date is! Come on Ed! Spill the beans!"
"If..." Prince Edward inhaled, shoulders rising to his ears. Dramatically he released. "...you insist! Dear peasants! Royal comrades! And...other peasants. A date - per my beautiful Giselle - is an event. An event wherein a prince and his lady go someplace special. Dress nice. Eat dinner. Hold hands. Talk about themselves. Their likes. Their dislikes. Their interests. It is..."
Prince Edward flicked his curly Q. "A date!"
The Disney gentlemen were confused.
"Eat? Hold hands? Talk? About likes? Dislikes? With our ladies?" Prince Charming cupped his cheek. "For how long?"
"Indefinitely perhaps." said Prince Edward. "But it seems a date can be a singular affair."
"Wait!" objected Prince Eric. "What's wrong with happily ever after?"
"And what ever happened to: Hello, you're pretty, I'll save the day, let's get married?" Hercules said.
Prince Edward massaged his temples. He wasn't use to thinking so hard.
"Twas my very argument to dearest Giselle! But she was rather insistent! And her lady friends. My, my - they were tickled pink by the idea of a date!"
"Whoa! Whoa! Hold your horses!" Flynn seized Prince Edward. "Are you telling me - straight up - that every chic inside that girl's dressing room also wants to go on a date?"
Prince Edward gulped. "Would it be terribly inconvenient?"
The Disney gentlemen groaned. Disgusted, Flynn threw Prince Edward. "That's it! We're fighting to the death! En garde you traitor!"
"We can't go on dates!" Aladdin moaned. "Jaz is too ritzy! I'm broke!"
"Shidanza!" Naveen slapped his head. "Tiana on a date? She will eat me alive, no?"
"Belle is smart!" Beast shook his head. "I can't talk to her!"
"Anna has the energy of a ferret." Kristoff said. "And she'll probably want to bring the psycho snowman."
"And my poofy pants!" Prince Edward whined. "I shant have them poofed in time!"
"This date!" Flynn declared, "Goes against every commandment written in the Manly Bible of Manliness: The Bro Code! Bros - I make a motion we nip this date shenanigan in the bud! Who's with me? All in favor say - "
Peter flew atop the lockers. "You guys are all cowards."
The Disney gentlemen gasped. Flynn spun. "Say what?"
"Yeah!" Peter grinned like a Cheshire cat. "You all are cowards. Afraid of a little - waddaya call it? Date? Holding hands? Talking about likes and dislikes? Puh."
Triumphantly, Peter rolled his hat across his shoulders. "Wendy and I do that all the time."
The Disney gentlemen stared. Then they laughed.
"Peter!" John Smith nudged Phoebus. Both were coupled with seductively beautiful women. "Take it from me. You and Wendy are not dating."
"Don't play with the big boys, Kid." Phoebus returned John Smith's nudge. "You've never even been to first base!"
Anger burned from the end of Peter's toes to the tips of his ears. First of all, he'd lost the high ground. That was never fun. Second, he had no idea what first base was, how the men knew he had no idea, or why they were laughing at the fact. And third, he did not like the insinuations they were making about Wendy.
"Have too been to first base!" Peter ground both fists into his hips. "And I know everything Wendy likes! And her dislikes! She likes me - "
The men laughed.
"-and she dislikes not being around me - "
The men laughed harder.
"-and as for first base!" Peter lied, desperately clinging to a sports analogy. "I rounded it!"
The men roared.
"Fine!" Peter pointed his dagger. "Fine! You cowards! I challenge you! I challenge all of you and your stinking honor as gentlemen! Take your ladies - "
Peter slammed his dagger into the locker.
"-on a date!"
It had the desired effect. Dramatic perhaps, but the message was received.
"Ya know..." Flynn twirled an imaginary beard. "...The Bro Code does say something about chivalry. And don't forget the second commandment of The Bro Code: A bro is always allowed to do something stupid as long as his bro's are doing it."
Flynn threw his hands. "This definitely applies."
"Bro Code number 100." added Kristoff. "A bro is honour bound to accept all challenges by another bro - thank you Peter very much."
"Bro Code number 134!" said Kuzco, becoming excited. "A Bro never leaves a Bro behind!"
"And Bro Code number 96!" Flynn seized Prince Edward and punched the air. "A bro is always psyched. ALWAYS. Bros! Who's with me!? Let's take our ladies on dates! All in favor say AYE!"
Their cheer blew the roof! Each Disney bro vowed unconditional loyalty to his fellow Disney bro.
And the Disney ladies, across the hall, wondered very much what the raucous was all about!
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sultal's note: too all you bros out there - I am very impressed you have your own Code. Bravo. I request the highest of fives. Long live Barney Stinson? ;)