MENTAL
I woke up with a headache. And Emily had already gone. And I was cold and the nightmare had shaken me up into hysterics. I had a quick shower, scrubbing myself thoroughly because I had, evidently, sweat through the night even if it had been freezing. And even in the shower, I could still see the mysterious, discerning eyes that seemed to haunt me.
I didn't smile at breakfast.
"I heard you had a good time", said mom with a loyal smile, moving around the kitchen as she readied my dad's lunch. He was going fishing that morning with one of his mates.
"It was great."
I tried to smile back but I couldn't. I was still quite shaken by the nightmare.
"And..." she wanted me to continue.
My mom was a tall, dark and handsome woman whose face was tense and it was plainly discernible that she was a business woman. Even in her robe, her beautiful, elegant and eternally formal attitude glowed without flaw. Even when she was smiling and trying to be motherly.
"And", I murmured, trying hard to get out of my morning mood. "And... um" it was like my mind was blocked. I craned my head and clicked my tongue, hoping to wake some dead cells from eternal slumber. "And, I think, Dora's engaged."
"Dora!" screeched my mom in delight. She turned quickly to look at me and for the first time that morning, I noticed that she had make-up on. I didn't wait for her to continue before I asked, "Are you going to work?"
"Of course, dear", she said, dismissing the question without taking much thought to it. "And Dora's engaged? To who?"
"Mom, it's a Sunday", I said. I was watching my mom for any signs of nerves, but she still had her composure even when she turned on me.
"What's wrong?" she asked casually.
"It's Sunday, mom. Why are you going to work on Sunday?"
She smiled a warm and calm smile at me. "So that you can go to school and get those good grades of yours", she said indifferently. "And I asked you a question, Jean. Who's Dora's new fiancé?"
"Duncan Fern."
"Oh, he's a sweet boy."
I was halfway to my room when she finished the sentence and noticed I wasn't there anymore. I banged the door so that she would here it and notice that there was clearly something wrong, but she never came up. I sat on my bed and stared into the mirror, wondering why everyone kept saying that I looked like her.
We both had our dark skin, mine being just a little bit lighter, and we both had short, sleek hair that went crazy with humidity. But apart from the usual, I looked liked my father. I had his chubby cheeks and his dark, blue eyes. I tried to have with humour but I ended up being almost as calm and serene as my mother, so I quite. I settled on both, not wanting to turn into a copy of my mother.
I never wanted to go to work on Sunday.
I sighed. I didn't look like my mom and so I didn't have to worry. I was Jean Verns and I was not a copy and paste section of my own mother. It almost made me smile to think of myself like that.
"Jeanie! Hey, Jeanie!"
Dad's loud, booming voice sounded enigmatic through the corridors. He almost sounded enthusiastic but I knew he was trying to hide it. he had found out about something and he only called me Jeanie when he seriously was going to ask me to do something that I clearly didn't want to.
"Yeah, dad?" I asked, walking out of my room. "What's up?"
He was in a pair of worn-out jeans and a big, grey t-shirt that proclaimed 'I am the BIGGEST FISH IN THE OCEAN! Come get me!' He stood next to my mom who was in a lithe, black suite with a cup of coffee and he was looking very energetic. There seemed to be a distinct contract between them that disturbed me slightly.
"Come down, Harry", said mom, watching me for an unknown reaction.
Dad wasn't going to come down. he was almost jumping up and down when he announced, "Mrs. Weathers' shop isn't opening today, Jeanie, which means you don't have anything to do. You still up for catching some fish at the creek?"
"Dad!" I said before he could start singing with joy. I saw the look of disappointment immediately creep onto his face so I hastily said, "Who else is coming?"
"I'm with Ed Rowie and his nephews, if you want to come", he said hopefully.
"What, no girls?" murmured my mom, watching us.
"I'll survive-" I began, glaring at her. she watched me with intense and irritating indifference.
"I think Rowan is coming", said my dad hastily, watching my face for any change in interest.
I let nothing go. "Dad", I murmured against myself, "Her name's Ilene."
"Huh?"
"She likes it better when you call her Ilene."
"So are you coming?" he asked. Evidently, he hadn't taken in anything I had said so I just gave up and nodded -his mood soared and I disappeared into my room.
I heard mom's car pull away but I wasn't in the mood for sulking so I just quickly changed into a t-shirt that proclaimed 'I Am the DEADLIESTFISH IN THE OCEAN! Come get me!' and a pair of old jeans that I loved. I took off my earrings and all I allowed myself to carry was some lip-balm and nothing else. I escaped my room to go to the kitchen, where dad was taking out a bucket of bait.
"Ew, dad, why in the kitchen?"
He lifted one up and I forced myself to look. It was long, brown and slimy, wriggling in his fingers. My stomach churned terribly even after he put it back in the bucket and walked out of the house.
I grabbed a basket which mom had packed before she had left. Inside were some sandwiches and two cartons of juice and some bread and jam. I scanned even deeper for something I expected to be there and I eventually found it -a neatly folded piece of white paper -and opened it to read the note.
Hun,
Please make sure every container comes back and I also want the cartons because they're recyclable and I don't want to throw them away.
-Love you lots,
Jane Verns
I stared at it, willing it to evaporate from my fingers. What I was angry about was the fact that there was nothing about coming back from work that day, no assurance that we'd be eating dinner that was made by her. and also she used her first and last name to make the letter a bit to formal.
Some people wouldn't care to notice these things but I wasn't the usual person. I inspected the handwriting and I noticed that she had rushed it -the lettering wasn't straight -which meant that she had been in a hurry to run out of the house.
I was bubbling by that moment. I quickly scrunched it up and chucked into the bin; a turn-off that I wanted to pretend never existed.
"Jeanie! Quickly!"
It was embarrassing the way my dad loved to call me Jeanie. I cringed when I walked out to find that Ed Rowie was there and also two other boys, tall and burly, behind him. I didn't look at them in case they noticed my flushed face and I ran into Ed's disgarded truck and waited as they loaded everything into the back.
Ed's truck was always the one which took us fishing. Mom hadn't wanted dad to use his large Nissan in case something happened to it while we were down at the creek so we always took Ed's truck.
It was big, grey and dirty. It was old and it felt like the whole thing was creaking when I slid into the middle of the front seat. The radio had fallen out, the windshield had a large crack going right through the middle and every time Ed revved it up, it mad a frightening noise.
I waited until they finished loading everything up, and smiled at Ed when he slid into the car next to me. He revved up the engine and I wondered why my dad wasn't there with us at the front seat, like he always was.
I was about to ask Ed until I heard a loud voice shouting out my dad's name. "Harry! Watch out or you'll fall, dude!"
"You're the one who will lose his balance, Caleb", I heard my dad shout back. And in his voice was such humour that he had lost in the last couple of days that I almost chocked. We were pulling out of the driveway.
"Are they your nephews?" I asked Ed at an impulse. Of course they're his nephews, you dwit! I scolded myself for being so stupid.
"Yeh", he said in his rough, old man voice. "They're Caleb and Peter. Both very loud -I wonder who'll win between Caleb and Harry."
I also heard. My dad was shouting at the top of his voice, trying to top another voice which was chattering on and on about swimming and what sounded like whales and dolphins. I caught my laugh before it came out.
We were going quite fast, I realised. When I looked at the speedometer it seemed that we'd reached the limit of the truck's old power. The windows were open and the wind was blowing my hair out of the ponytail which had been untidily done up anyway and I just decided to remove the scrunchie in case it disappeared. A grin eased itself on my face as my hair whipped around my face.
"How old are they?" I asked Ed as we entered town.
"Well, Peter is seventeen and he's the eldest and I think Caleb is just sixteen. Though I swear both of them look like they can lift up this old truck", he chuckled, and I chuckled with him.
Ed was one of the senior citizens of Downy. He had laughing eyes that squinted under his falling skin and a wide grin that always made me content when I saw it. he acted like he was still in his twenties though and he was always with younger men like my dad and his pals. He'd been everywhere and he swore that he'd lived in Downy his whole life -even though he knew basically everything about the world. He was clearly very wise. All his hair had fallen off, besides the light wisps of grey. And he had tiny whiskers on his thin cheeks.
He drove us out of town and up a long stretch of road which was so quiet that I could hear both my dad and Caleb's voices over the roar of the truck's engine. I didn't try to listen to the words but it made me happy just listening to my dad's loud laughter accompanied by a voice which seemed familiar and wonderful to hear. I almost fell asleep before we finally got onto the dusty road which led towards the creek.
The truck went up and down dangerously, and I held onto the dashboard with awareness.
Then Ed said suddenly, "Those boys are mental!"
I stared at him and followed his gaze towards the rear mirror. It showed three figures standing at the back and shouting loudly at the tops of their voices, "WE'RE THE BIGGEST FISHES IN THE OCEAN! COME GET US!"
I laughed with Ed as he pulled the car at the end of the old dust road. He opened the door and clambered out. I took a breath and also climbed out with the basket in my hand and a wild beast where my hair was meant to be.
Harry Verns started the laughed followed by the Rowie boys. I flushed in embarrassment again and I desperately tried to hide my face.
"So we're walking?" asked the one I guessed was Caleb. "Psyche!"
"Hey! This isn't the shores of Gorgio, boy! We're at the Jensen Creek", I heard my dad say in a booming voice. Again I heard the amusement in his voice.
The other boy laughed in a loud and distinguishable voice that I suddenly remembered.
"Shut up! I'm a natural at nature!"
"Yeh, that's what you said yesterday", muttered the other one before Caleb could punch him. he ran ahead of me, laughing, and all I caught was a whiff of a patent scent that I couldn't quite fathom. The next one, Caleb, chased after him and I also smelt another distinct scent and I knew immediately that it was a flower I had once smelt. But I didn't know what it was called.
But I stared at their figures as they disappeared ahead of us. But I noticed once again how huge they both were and my gasp was caught in my throat.
"Stop! Peter! You guys don't know where your going!" shouted Ed as my dad sprinted off towards them. "Boys! Stop!" shouted my dad as he also disappeared, leaving me with Ed once again.
He was laughing but I couldn't even choke out a giggle.
"Your nephews", I gasped, looking up at him, "they were outside, last night -alone. At about midnight."
"Yeh", he said, nodding and still chortling.
"Don't you care?"
"As long as they didn't do anything crazy", he said with a smirk. Then he saw my worried expression as asked, "Did they?"
I shook my head nervously. I looked away from Ed, still shaking my head and slightly jaded, and muttered, "They did nothing. I was just wondering if you knew."
I was aware of how anxious he suddenly got. I noticed the way he hid it with his awkward grin and laughed merrily as he said, "Caleb and Peter are full of life so I never try to hold them back. They never get exhausted, apparently, so I just let them do whatever they want. Well, as long as they don't cause any trouble. You get what I mean?"
"Of course", I said with a cynical nod. "I understand though -wait", I stopped and he stopped to wait what I was going to say. I looked around, distracted, and asked, "Where's Ilene?"
"You mean Rowan-Ilene, right? She's at home. She said she was feeling tired so she stayed at the house."
"Oh. Okay."
"Yeh", murmured Ed as he watched me getting suddenly abstracted. He walked quicker and I had to increase my pace, the derisive feeling sinking into me. There was something suspicious here and I could feel myself getting more and more contemptuous.
Then it disappeared when we reached the creek.
Jensen Creek was home to the little, bubbly brooks that let to the vast River Jensen. I heard it, loud and clear as the froth that was around us. I followed the sound and the path and we finally emerged out of the bushes onto the beach of River Jensen's Delta.
I noticed that we hadn't brought a boat so I guessed immediately that we weren't going out to the islands. I placed the basket down and watched the beautiful water quickly filter into the vast ocean, that spread out towards the far west. I didn't look at the sea, but immediately got enthusiastic about the bubbling water that was rushing out -sparkling and inviting.
I had my swimming costume underneath my t-shirt and jeans. I hurriedly removed I clothes and edged towards the water, where two bodies where already fighting against. One of them was my dad's and the other was the loud-mouthed Caleb's. they were both screaming with laughter as they fought against the strong current.
"Hey! It's dangerous out there!" came a harsh voice from behind me. The tip of my foot had already touched the warm water. I stopped in the process of jumping into the racing water and turned to face the tall boy behind me.
I wanted to say something but I was immediately drawn to the fierce, brown eyes that bore down at me at that moment.
Peter was very tall, I had to admit. Even for a seventeen year-old, he was very tall. And he also looked strong. He was lean, but I could see the muscle protruding from underneath his wet t-shirt -Caleb must have splashed him. his face was deeply-tanned, like Ed's, but I noticed that he still had a keen handsomeness about him.
I could see it in his dark eyes. he was truly concerned.
"I'm not scared", I said with a bright smile, willing him to come in with me. "Why aren't you swimming?"
He looked away and didn't answer my question. I swear I saw something like fear cross his handsome features. "I don't think you should go in", he said, still not looking at me. "And look at the current. Even Caleb and Harry are having a hard time fighting it."
"Well, I'm a strong swimmer."
I saw the amused smile creep onto his face as he turned to look back at me. I became flustered when his eyes scanned my healthy body; not healthy but fit, I noted. I waited for him to say something but he just shrugged and walked away towards Harry, who was setting things up.
I watched him and wondered what he had been thinking. Then a splash of water soaked me thoroughly. I looked into the river and saw my dad, grinning and beckoning me into the rushing river. I signalled he move and, as soon as I caught my breath, I jumped into the warm water.
But it was only warm on the surface. I stayed underneath and swam frantically, measuring how cold it was. It felt good, though, and I took my time swimming up. The water was clear enough for me to see it moving around me in little bubbles and towards the see water. It wasn't salty enough here so my eyes didn't sting, and it was so beautiful under water. My arms worked just to keep my under the surface, and I began counting the number of seconds I had before I ran out of energy.
Then two strong arms lifted me off the surface. I broke out and was immediately swept my the current. I fought hard to keep myself on the same spot and I swivelled to see who had pulled me out. I caught incandescent blue eyes that were smiling at me off a wet, pale face.
"Hey!" I screamed as I splashed him with water. I caught my balance again and cried, "Why did you pull me out of the water?"
"I thought you were drowning."
I heard the laugh in his words. I managed to scowl with half my face still underwater. I splashed him again and screamed, "I didn't want to come out of the water!"
"You mean you wanted to die?" he was laughing at me. I could hear it in his smooth voice as he watched me for a reaction.
I splashed him with a wave of water.
His was bigger.
Unable to catch myself, I quickly swam towards the edge and grabbed one of the rocks to aid me in coming out of the water. I slipped twice before I gave up and stayed in the water, letting it pull onto my body while I held onto the rock. Then suddenly a dark hand held my arm and pulled me out.
"Thanks", I said gruffly, shaking off the water.
He was laughing at me. "So, was the current too much for you?"
I wanted to be angry, terribly furious with him because he had been mocking me. But I found that I couldn't because his handsome face looked too sweet to hate on. So I just pushed him away and laughed when he laughed.
He watched me carefully as I dressed. I felt too self-conscious so I asked him if his name was Peter just to keep him from watching me zip up my jeans.
"Yeh", he said with a sparkly grin. "My name's Peter and that's my brother Caleb."
I was surprised. I looked at his tanned skin, smooth and velvety, and I watched the body being swept by the current in the river and noticed what a contrast Peter's was to the wet and pale skin of Caleb's.
"Brothers?" I asked immediately. "How are you guys brothers?"
"Uh", he said quickly, and I noticed how fragile he looked as he searched for a reason. It made me feel as pessimistic about him as I had been about Ed earlier. Finally he said, "We're not really related but we're so close and we've grown up together so we're like brothers."
"Cool", I said with mock enthusiasm. He believed it and smiled with me.
Inside I was thinking. I was thinking in an obsessed manner of why the new guys would be lying, and why Ed Rowie would be lying. It was hard not to fixate on them as Caleb and my dad finally came out of the water and began shaking themselves free. I watched as Caleb jumped on Peter and made him wet.
"Hey!" cried Peter, angrily pushing Caleb away. But I saw the grin on his face.
"Pete's afraid of the water!" said Caleb, mimicking and over-exaggerating Peter's light voice. Peter pushed him away playfully and suddenly a tugging game began between them.
I was immediately confused in infatuation between their amusing feats and the fact that I knew they were lying and it was making me undeniably pessimistic.
And as I watched them, following their every move from Caleb's straw-coloured hair being pulled to Peter almost falling into the delta, Ed and my dad got their equipment and sat on the bank, holding their fishing rods. They were also watching the boy, fixedly, and not really paying attention to their fishing rods which were being yanked by the current.
"These boys are just crazy", I heard my dad murmur.
"They're mental-"
"Yeah, man! We're crazy and mental!" shouted Caleb triumphantly as he caught Peter's shirt and pulled him down onto the rock. Peter put his hand out to defend his head but Caleb was already on him and you could hear the thud and squich his body made as he wriggled under the sudden weight. Peter let out a moan.
I laughed with Ed and my dad.
"So you mean you guys are always like this?" asked my dad, still chortling as he positioned his rod. "You never get tired?"
"Never", said Peter after he was finally released from under Caleb's weight. "I don't know, we just have a lot of energy."
"Tons", said Caleb and he got up and suddenly began moving towards me. Immediately compelled to nothing by the sight of the perfectly sculpted torso that belonged to the marble skinned boy who was walking towards me. I suddenly felt like Emily, vulnerable to the danger that was uniquely classified as male. I felt my mouth fall open.
He reached me and bent over me and I could feel my heart race a little bit faster. I felt my face get hotter and I felt my mouth close to produce an embarrassed squeak. But then it seemed that he wasn't reaching over me, but towards the pile of clothes I hadn't noticed beside me. As he got back up, he had a smile that induced me to almost grovelling.
Except I never grovelled.
"It's wet", he murmured suddenly and, without warning, he turned and chucked his t-shirt at Peter. "You did this!"
"Don't look at me", shouted Peter as he picked the t-shirt up and threw it back at Caleb. "She's the one who's been swimming. I haven't touched the water!"
I cringed as Peter's suddenly fierce eyes bore on me. I felt the same intensity as the eyes he had given me before I entered the water, but this time it frightened me and not him. I was the one cowering. I was the one being coerced to retreat. I moved backwards slightly and I felt myself slip and fall into the water -just as Caleb reaches out and grabs my hand to yank me out.
The touch was a shock for both of us. Instinctively, I pulled away once I was on the rocks again and caught his iridescent eyes.