Nathan Fillion posted the above picture on social media yesterday. My heart skipped a beat when I saw it and my fangasm lasted for hours.
I am still smiling!
Bless these guys... Alan has the best smile on the planet!
Anyway. Back to my little story.
Late one evening, Mal was at the helm. Lou had gone to bed but found sleeping wasn't going to happen so she went up to see the stars.
"Hey," she said in the doorway carrying two cups of coffee.
"Hi there Lou," Mal said with a smile.
"Can I come in here for a while?" She asked.
"Sure, but shouldn't you be resting like the rest of them?" He asked.
"Couldn't sleep so I thought I'd make the captain a cup of coffee and see if he'd let me look at the stars," she said.
"Ooh, thank you," he said taking the cup from her.
Lou sat down in the co pilot seat and curled her legs up under her and held the cup in both hands.
Mal turned and studied her for a moment.
"Anything specific keeping you awake?" He asked.
"Not really. Just thinking about Saffy and Brooke... and Danny," she sighed.
"You miss them, huh?" Mal asked.
"Yeah," she said.
"Can't do a lot about Danny, but I am going to try getting the girls back to you," Mal said.
"Thanks Mal. That means a lot," she said. "I'm just worried that they might not recognise me. Or that someone has done so much to them that they won't be my girls anymore."
"We will get to that when we get there," Mal said.
Lou sat there for a little while, studying the stars, pondering the ways of the 'verse.
"I've been meaning to ask... when Duggar said the girls are just as insane as their parents... any idea what he might have meant with that?" Mal asked.
"I've been wondering about that myself. Danny wanted them safe, so both girls are ferocious fighters. Saphire could shoot a gun and Brooke could climb practically any surface. I'm guessing some pirates have received bitemarks and bruises along the way," she said.
"He taught them to fight?" Mal asked.
"Yeah. I was sceptical but Saffy was a real daddy's girl so she went with him everywhere from she could walk. He had a punching bag in the barn and she loved hitting that thing with him," Lou said with a sad smile.
"I wish I could have seen him as a dad," Mal replied.
"I do too," Lou said.
"What was he like when he came to your rock?" Mal asked.
"Trigger happy. Tough skinned. Didn't go anywhere without his gun. Went to town to get drunk as often as he could. He was a mess!" Lou smiled.
"Did he ever speak of his life before?" Mal asked.
"Only after a few years and only when I asked. He had nightmares about he stuff he had done as a pirate, but he never wanted to tell me about it. I think he told Book some, but the preacher won't tell me on account of it being a confession before God or some such arrangement," Lou said.
"Some things are best not known," Mal said.
"What was he like as a child tho?" Lou asked.
"He was a rascal. I was older by five years and that flamin runt would not leave me be. I used to call him "Danny dog" on account of him always being on my heels," Mal smiled. "When we got older, we rode out on the horses herding cattle with the cowboys our mom hired to work the ranch. It was us, our mom and the 40 farmhands plus a million acres of blue sky."
"Sounds like a good childhood," Lou smiled.
"It was," Mal replied.
"How 'bout a dad? I never heard him speak of his dad," Lou asked.
"There wasn't much of one," Mal answered. "I suspect a farmhand was granted entry to the house or that my mom met someone at a local barn dance. I didn't know my dad either. Never missed having one with all them hired men always around."
"But your mom was married once?" Lou asked.
"She must have, coz she had a maiden name, but she never spoke about it," Mal replied.
They sat in silence for a while.
"Tomorrow will be the last day of fresh bread for breakfast," Lou said sadly.
"Is it?" Mal asked.
"Yeah. The last little bit of flour is hardly enough to keep my yeast alive," she told him.
"I think you might wanna look in a cargo crate marked as toilet cleaner," Mal commented dryly.
"Toilet cleaner?" Lou asked.
"Yeah. Backup foodstuffs in case someone becomes a glutton or River does something to the food we've got. Should be 'bout a full sack of flour in there. I'll get some more on Pandora," Mal said taking a sip of coffee.
"You truly are a remarkable man, Mal Reynolds," Lou smiled.
The next morning Lou woke up, stiff and twisted in the co pilot seat. Mal was gone and a fresh and rested Wash was sat at the helm grinning at her.
"You look real innocent when you sleep," Wash said.
"Not as innocent when I'm awake, huh?" Lou asked.
"Not so much, no," Wash laughed.
Lou walked down to the kitchen and sorted out breakfast humming to herself. Once the bread was done, she hollered up to Wash so he could get some food. Wash was eating when Jayne sauntered in and grabbed a plateful of food and a cup of coffee which he griffly dumped on the table with a lot of clattering.
"What's with the noise? Did the hero of Canton not sleep well?" Wash teased.
"Oh shut up," Jayne mumbled and begun stuffing food into his mouth.
"The hero of Canton?" Lou asked.
"Yeah. There is a small moon where they make ceramic mud. This guy here had accidentally dumped some stolen money on the workers heads and became something of a hero. They had a statue and everything... and a song," Wash laughed.
"Really?" Lou smiled.
"Not that big a deal," Jayne snapped.
Lou studied him for a moment.
"I guess there are some good parts about you after all, then?" She teased. Jayne's head shot up and he gave them both a hard stare.
"I stole that money for me. It went wrong and the mudders made a mistake," he said.
"But you made the people happy," Lou said.
"Nah... only caused them more trouble," Jayne said.
Wash finished his meal, cleared his plate and went back up to the bridge while humming the song. Lou laughed.
"It's a stupid song," Jayne mumbled and left the table.
Lou was left wondering what more that man was hiding.
Later, Lou was knitting on a jumper in the common area when Inara came in. River was sitting there reading a book of fiction with a pencil in her hand striking out whole paragraphs and editing the story. Lou had seen several books with torn out pages and handwritten changes. Shepherd Book had bought a stack of novels and academic texts on Dorian which he regularly exchanged for the ones River had already demolished.
"She's not going to get better is she?" Inara said.
"Oh, I don't know. I've been wanting to do that myself to a few books I've read," Lou smiled warmly at River.
River looked up and studied them.
"There are logical fallacies. None of these make sense. They need fixing," River said.
"I look foreward to reading your edited versions," Lou said.
"How do you stay so patient?" Inara said.
"Have you ever spent an extended period of time in the company of a two year old?" Lou asked.
Inara shook her head.
"It is like being trapped in a surrealistic dream. You ask reasonable questions like: would you like an apple? And you risk getting any answer ranging from "green" to "I am a dog". You have to interpret the answers, core and cut the apple and see if your "dog" actually eats it," Lou explained.
Inara smiled.
"River is nothing like that, but at the same time, she needs someone to hear what she is saying and respond. Right River?" Lou smiled.
"Two year olds aquire language at a rate of up to one word every two minutes. They categorize by a natural bias and generalize grammatical rules," River said.
"Exactly," Lou nodded.
Inara studied them closely.
"You must love those two girls so much," Inara said.
"They are my babies," Lou said feeling a lump in her throat.
"A nine year old and a seven year old are no longer babies. They are children. The nine year old might be prepubescent, but that depends on her hormonal development level and dietary influence," River stated.
"I know that, River, but in my mind they are still small children who need me. I don't know what to do if they don't need me anymore," Lou said.
"Don't worry, Lou. Mal has a plan. You will get them back," Inara said.
Lou nodded and squeesed Inara's hand gratefully.
"What is it like, having children?" Inara asked suddenly.
"It is beautiful," Lou smiled. "Have you ever been so much in love that your stomach is full of butterflies and you are constantly smiling when that person is in the same room as you?"
"There can be no butterflies inside someone's stommach. The acid would kill them. The illusion of tingling is caused by musclespasms and neural networks. Physical symptoms are not love," River said.
"It is still what it feels like. Metaphors, River," Lou smiled.
"Metaphors are linguistic constructions. Imagery that convey hidden meaning. It's all lies," River mumbled.
Lou smiled at the young girl and bent over to kiss the top of her head.
"That was no imagery, River. That was an expression of love," Lou said and turned back to Inara.
"Having children is life changing, lots of work, you put your heart and soul into it and get absolute devotion back. The love I had for my family before having children, took on a new dimension and what I felt for their father became sacred the moment we created a new person together," Lou explained.
"Would you have more children?" Inara asked.
"Not without a stable father around, no," Lou said firmly. "There was a time when I thought I had to, but I couldn't have a child that the father was not interested in having."
"What do you mean?" Inara asked.
"I had an abortion once. Hardest decicion of my life, but it was the right one. The father was a no-good jackass who was only after one thing before moving on to the next girl. There was no way I wanted a child into that situation. Not fair to the child or to me," Lou said sadly.
"So you wanted commitment?" Inara asked.
"The only way it was going to work for me," Lou said.
"But you didn't marry untill both of your daughters were born?" Inara asked.
"Commitment isn't limited to marriage, Inara. He was mine, I was his. We had our kids and we knew we belonged together without a paper to prove it," Lou smiled.
Inara nodded.
"That sounds... comfortable," Inara said.
"It was," Lou smiled.
"Would you marry again if someone asked?" Inara asked.
"Maybe. Or maybe I'll find someone who can satisfy my other needs without asking for more..." she pondered.
They sat quietly for a moment.
"What is all this about?" Lou asked.
"I'm curious," Inara said.
"Are you...?" Lou asked throwing a look towards Inara's flat middle.
"No, no, no... Companions take precautions against that happening," Inara laughed.
"But you want it?" Lou asked nodding her head in the direction of the bridge where Mal was sitting.
"In time, yes, I would like to have a family. Not sure he would though," Inara smiled.
"How can he not?" Lou smiled at her friend.