**Well for some reason my tablet deleted the chapter halfway through so now Im sitting here glaring at my tablet for destroying it... So this chapter might end up being short and not that good. Stick with me and be forgiving please.**
Stiles sat in the chair and fidgeting with his hoodie string. Looking around the office as Deaton sits behind the desk in front of him. The room is cozy. Lined with book shelves filled with so many books. Stiles doesn't want to be here. Doesn't want to do this. Not today. Not after what happened with his father.
He doesn't want to talk to the calm man before him that always had an understanding and patient smile on his face.
He didn't want to do this. Chewing on his hoodie string he looks anywhere but at Deaton.
"So how are you feeling today Stiles?" Deaton's voice is as calming and patient as ever.
Stiles eyes slip over to him on reflex. Damnit. He didn't want to do that. "I'm fine." Its an obvious lie and Stiles cant help but expect Derek to pop his head in the room and ye at him to tell him to stop lying.
Deaton however just makes a little sound and then nods. He writes something down then he looks back up. "Are you back on your regular schedule for your pills?"
Stiles just nods and looks away. "Yes. Derek gives them to me every morning." He feels tense. He feels embarrassed that he has to have someone remind him when to take his pills. It makes him feel weak.
"That's good. How are you doing living somewhere new?" Deaton asked in that calm patient voice of his.
"Fine." Stiles voice is slightly quiet and he keeps looking away from those patient eyes.
"How is it living with a roomate? Are you having any problems with interacting with Derek?" Deaton is writing notes while talking to him.
Stiles makes a face and rolls his eyes and blurts out the first thing that came to his mouth without thinking. "Oh you mean the pushy dick that doesn't understand the words personal space, and sticks his nose in others peoples business and thinks hes gods gift. The growly guy that never smiles and always grouches and orders me around like Im some stupid kid. Some pathetic charity case." Looking up Stiles shows the first real emotion on his face sense hed walked in and it was anger. "I don't get this guy. Hes gotta be messed up in the head right. What the fuck is wrong with someone. Just bringing in some dude they don't even know and saying oh yeah come on and live here in my house and eat my food and remember to take your pills and don't drink or do drugs. What the hell right. I mean its none of his damn business what I do or where I go. But there he is everyday asking me shit and pushing me and getting in my face with all his don't lie to me bull shit. He keeps giving me this look when he thinks I don't see him. Like hes waiting for me to break or something." Stiles is wringing his hands and staring at the ground as he rushes on and his voice is hard and tense. "What the fuck kind of guy does all that shit. Why the hell wont he just leave me alone. He wont even let me drive here. He made me let him drive me here. Like he thought I might bolt or something or I cant drive. I can drive. I can take care of myself. Im not a kid. I have been taking care of myself just fine. I don't need fucking Derek Hale to treat me like some snot nosed brat."
His fists clench and he gritted his teeth. "Hes always around and getting in my face about something. Pestering me about my day or how Im acting. Always asking questions and he'll just keep pushing and pushing until he makes me answer cause god forbid someone doesn't listen to big bad Derek Hale."
Stiles goes silent as he fumes in a heated frustrated rage. Hes bent forward with his elbows on his knees and his fingers rubbing through his hair as he hangs his head hunched over. He tightens his fingers in his hair.
Fuck. He bites his lip hard.
"Sounds like he cares about you."
...
Stiles takes a second to realize what Deaton had just said. And wow... once that sentence sinks in it hurts more than he thought any thing could.
Stiles tilts his head up just a bit as his mouth blurts out a quiet "What?"
Deatons voice fills the silence again. "What you just described, it seems to me that he must care about you."
Stiles almost flinches.
"No he doesn't. Im just his new project. He did something like this with Isaac. Im just the next ... charity case." Stiles voice sounds cold and tired even to himself.
"Perhaps he cares for Isaac aswel." Deaton says patiently. "I doubt Derek would do this for someone he didn't care for in some way. Why else would he act as you described... Your well being seems to be his priority."
Stiles looks up then staring over at Deaton. His eyes take in the calm patient man gazing back at him. There is a long heavy silence. Stiles thinks for a moment.
That's how people take care of someone they care about... They stick around. They get in your business. They ask questions. They make sure your healthy. They don't let you lie to them.
Stiles eyes stare right through Dr Deaton. All he can think about is how if that was true... then ... why couldn't his dad do those things... did his father not care about him. Oh god... his father... didn't care about him... His father... didn't love him.
Suddenly he couldn't breath. He tried to suck in a breath of air but his body wasn't helping him. Wasn't listening to him. He gripped his chest through his hoodie as he curled in on himself and tried to get his lungs to work.
He tried to take a ragged breath but it was like a short spasmed ragged too little amount of air. He was dying. He was dying. He was going to suffocate and die.
Suddenly Deaton is pulling him up to sit up and look at him. He hears Deaton instructing him to breath and to calm down.
He tries to do as he instructed. He did he really tried but all he could think was that his father didn't care. He didn't love him.
Shutting his eyes he shook his head and tried to fight the words echoing in his head that were stealing his breath away from him. He pushed deatons hands away and scrambled up and away from him and stumbled into the corner of the room and slammed his back into the corner and he struggled to get his lungs working. Gulping air but feeling like his heart was littering pounding so fast that it was going to explode in his chest. His vission was getting grey around the edges and he was getting dizzy.
Suddenly Derek was coming into the room and he was upon him in an instant.
He could hear him barking out orders. "Stiles Breath! Take a slow breath in and hold it. Stiles focus and breath."
Stiles was trying. He really was but his body wasn't listening. Oh god he felt like he was drowning. He was going to die.
Curling over himself as he clutched his chest and he was shaking as he shook his head. Dragging short little ragged gulps of air in his lungs over an over.
Suddenly hes gripped and pushed back up against the wall and theres a hand against his cheek and chin forcing him to look up into green eyes. He feels Derek pull his hand over to press against Dereks chest as he took a deep long breath. "breath with me Stiles. Come one breath with me."
Stiles tried he tried but it wasn't working his body was shaking and almost spasming against Derek and his lungs wouldn't do as he wanted. The air kept punching out of him and hyperventalating.
Shaking his head he felt his cheeks were wet and he felt like his heart was about to burst in his chest. He felt like he was dying.
Then suddenly he felt a mouth crash into his. Dereks mouth. His mouth was kissing him. Derek was kissing him.
His eyes fluttered closed in shock as he felt those lips. Warm slightly chapped. Warm. Soft. Moving softly against his. Stiles felt the scratch of Dereks stubble against his cheek and chin and the way dereks sligtly hooked nose brushed his nose and cheek. Derek smelled like sandle wood and pine. Like musk and mint. He tasted good. Like warm salty skin and slightly minty.
Dereks lips pulled away slowly and Stiles took a slow deep breath and blinked slowly as he looked down seeing his hands fisted in Dereks shirt holding onto him then seeing Derek had a arm around his waist and the other was holding the back of his neck in that familiar grip.
Blinking up he saw Derek looking down at him with those wide green eyes looking frightened. "w-why... why did... y-you kiss me..."