It wasn't that much longer after my grandmother had gone back inside before Jordan was sitting next to me. We had said hello to each other, but that was about it. I think our grandmother had definitely told her what was going on so she knew that I had been abused. She seemed to be nervous, like she wasn't sure if she should bring the topic up or wait for me to do that. There was also a good chance that she wasn't sure what to say at the moment. I hadn't told that many people, but the ones that I had told, had always had a hard time getting out the right words.
They had been afraid of saying the wrong thing to me, which wasn't really that much of a shock when someone found out that something awful had happened to you. No one, but me, knew what I was going through or how I was feeling. Everyone else could only imagine, but they wouldn't come close to knowing how I felt.
"Do you want to talk about it?" Jordan asked sometime later. I don't know how much time had passed by since she had joined me, but I knew we had sat in silence for some time.
"I don't know. I've never really talked about it so my first answer would be no, but I know that I can't keep it to myself for forever," I said staring straight ahead of me into the backyard.
Our grandparents had quite the busy backyard. It seemed like there was not one spot that had been left untouched. There were many small gardens built around the backyard. Some of them were filled with vegetables that our grandmother was growing and others were filled with all sorts of flowers. It was quite the colorful backyard. Sometimes I wondered how my grandmother kept up with all the things that she had growing in her backyard.
I'm sure my grandfather helped her out, but I knew that the gardens were mostly hers. No matter how many things my grandmother had growing out here, it seemed like nothing ever died, but yet it also seemed like there was always something new out here.
I usually didn't come out here that often, only when my grandparents had decided to eat outside instead of inside because the weather was just too perfect not to sit outside and eat. It was a beautiful place to come and think, which I should probably take more advantage since it seems like the sun always shines here in California. I hadn't seen any rain since I had been here, but I'm sure I would eventually see a cloudy sky while I was here. After all I didn't have any plans to live someplace else. I was done moving.
Plus, I really wanted to stay where my family was, not just because they were here, but also because I wanted them in my life and I wanted to get to know all of them more until they actually felt like family. Then there was my father, of course. I didn't want to leave now that I had found him.
"I've never known anyone who has gone through what you've gone through, but I'm here for you if you want to talk to me about it. And if you decide to talk to me about it, then I'll listen and do my best to help you through it," Jordan said breaking me out of my thoughts. I looked over at her for the first time since she had come outside. Smiling at her, I replied, "Thanks."
"It's no problem. I'm just not just your cousin. I'm your friend too," she said smiling back at me as we continued to look at each other.
"What did our grandmother tell you exactly?" I asked her, curious to know how much our grandmother had told her. There wasn't that much that I had told my grandparents so there wasn't that much that our grandmother could tell Jordan, but I was also just fishing to see if our grandmother had actually told Jordan. I was pretty certain she had, but I wanted to make sure.
"She told me that some of Aunt Charlotte's old boyfriends had hurt you," Jordan said holding my gaze. I was surprised that neither of us had looked away from each other.
"I remember every time one of them hit me or threw me against something," I replied looking away this time and staring out into the backyard again.
Jordan didn't say anything right away after that. And when I looked over at her, I saw that she was looking out into the backyard, like she was lost in thought. Maybe she was trying to figure out what to say next. She seemed to want to do that first before speaking, which I didn't mind since it meant that Jordan was carefully thinking about what she was going to say to me. It meant that she wanted to make sure she wasn't going to say the wrong thing. That what she was going to say to me wouldn't upset me, but maybe help me in some way. I relaxed a little more on the bench and waited for Jordan to be the one to speak up next.
"I'm sorry if I'm not responding back as quickly should. I just want to make sure that I'm going to say the right thing. I've never known someone who's been through something like this," Jordan finally said. Her words slow like she was still trying to figure out what to say.
"No, that's fine. I'd rather have you think about what you want to say then to quickly respond and it end up being something that's not going to be helpful to me at all," I replied.
Jordan was quiet again after that and I let her think about what I had just told her. I looked around the backyard as I waited for Jordan to speak up again. It was a little chilly outside, but for now I wasn't too cold to go back inside. I also really didn't want to face Charlotte just yet because I'm sure that she was still here arguing with James. If she had gone, then James would probably have come out here to ask if he could talk to me. I knew that he would want to talk about what he had been told. And I wasn't quite sure if I was ready to talk about this with my father just yet.
"I'm so sorry Rhiannon that you had to go through all of that. You deserved none of it. Now I understand a little more why you and Aunt Charlotte don't have a relationship," Jordan said. I nodded my head and then said, "Yeah. I don't think I could ever forgive her for all the things that she's done and all the things that she let happen."
"I wouldn't forgive her either. She doesn't deserve that. She deserves to live alone," Jordan replied. I looked over at her and smiled at her but didn't say anything.
"I hope though that you get a better relationship with your father, which I think you will because he seems like such a nice man. At least you won't have to worry about him being as bad as Charlotte. He definitely does not seem like that kind of man. One who would hit another woman, but of course I don't know him personally. But I have neither heard anything about people having a problem with him," Jordan said a few minutes later.
"I don't think I have to worry about him either. From the time that I've spent with him, I've never gotten a bad feeling about him," I replied.
Jordan reached over and grabbed my hand, squeezing it once she got a hold of it. She held onto my hand as we grew silent again and leaned back on the bench. It seemed like that was the end of the conversation for now. Jordan must have known that I probably wasn't going to spill everything out in one day, but this was a start. A way to eventually one day be able to talk about it without feeling like I was going to break down. I don't think I would ever forget what had happened to me, but one day I could let it go and not let it define me.
One day, everything that happened in those apartments that I had lived in with Charlotte would be just in the past and be a memory. They wouldn't invade my future and threaten to destroy it some way.
"Have you talked to Nathan since you two decided not to talk to each other?" Jordan asked me. I looked over at her since I had been looking out into the backyard. She had let go of my hand by now as we had just sat in silence and looked over things in our grandparents' backyard.
"No, I haven't. I would like to talk to him though. But I also don't want to risk anything. If I want to talk to him, then I need to find a way to make Alexis realize that she can't control people and that she's not always going to get what she wants," I said.
"What about turning her friends against her? If Alexis doesn't have anyone by her side, then other people in our school might turn their backs on her," Jordan said.
"That's not a bad idea, but I don't think her friends are even going to talk to me. They all seem to want to be on Alexis's good side. I mean I think Bethany would like it if she were the one in charge, but I don't want to replace Alexis. I just want to get her to stop her from ruining my life and whoever would be her target after me," I replied watching Jordan.
Jordan nodded her head, but didn't say anything. I figured she was trying to figure out another idea on how to stop Alexis. Looking away from Jordan, I looked at some of the flowers off to our right that were close by. There were a bunch of rose bushes in that planter box, all different colors and sizes. I stared at them as I tried to come up with something, but everything that I came up with was just something that Alexis would probably do and I didn't want to resort to something that Alexis would do. There had to be something I could do without resorting to what a mean girl do. I had to find a way that stopped Alexis from being the bully that she was without turning into her.
***
Charlotte eventually left. But that wasn't until her parents called the police to escort her out because she wouldn't leave on her own. She made a big scene out of the whole ordeal, which had just made everyone roll their eyes. Jordan and I had come back into the house just before the police had arrived while our grandmother had been the phone with the police. We both had just stood out of the way as we watched our grandfather and James argue with Charlotte, trying to get her to leave. I don't think either of them had tried to force Charlotte out of the house. They probably both knew that they could get kicked or hit if they tried that. Charlotte would have put up a really good fight if either of them had touched her.
And she did put up a good fight when the police grabbed her to escort her out, but it probably wasn't as much of a fight as it would have been if it had been her father or her ex that had touched her. I knew that Charlotte was probably looking to avoid getting arrested again, which is why she eventually let the police escort her out of her parents' house without too much of a fight.
After that had all been taken care of and the police had gotten statements, they left and we were left in a much quieter and peaceful house, now that Charlotte was no longer here. James didn't stay too much longer after that since he had a family to get back to, but he did make plans with me to hang out again as well as have dinner with his family. I'd be meeting my siblings next weekend on Saturday.
I was a little nervous since I was worried about my siblings not liking me. They probably didn't know what to think of this new person who was supposed to be another sibling, but wasn't coming from their own mother. Hopefully though things would eventually work out. Things might be a little rocky in the beginning, but I think once they got to know me, then they would start to like me. I would just have to wait and see how they were going to treat me when I met the both of them.
First though, I had to get through a week of school. And seeing Nathan every day, but not being able to talk to him. The only time we would really talk to each other was in cooking class while we were making whatever recipe Mrs. Williams had chosen for us.
"So, you and Nathan really aren't talking now?" Jennifer whispered to me as we worked on part of the recipe we were making today.
It was Tuesday and Nathan was not too far away from me, but he was keeping his distance as he talked to Adam and Patrick. Kimberly was standing on my other side as we worked on the soup that we were making for today. I was chopping up some carrots, Kimberly was chopping up some celery, and Jennifer was cutting up some chicken.
"Yeah so Alexis will think that Nathan is on her side," I whispered back. It was a good thing that Alexis's kitchen was on the other side of the room so she couldn't hear our conversation, but I knew that she was watching us. There was no way she was doing any of the work.
I'm sure she was pretending to do something so that if Mrs. Williams looked over she would think that Alexis was working on the soup every group was making, but she was actually just watching me and Nathan, making sure that neither of us were actually talking to each other.
We had actually said a few words to each other, in the beginning, while we all had been deciding on how we were going to split up the work to make the soup, but we didn't talk for very long. And any time we did talk, it was about the recipe we were working on. I'm sure Alexis had someone in one of the groups nearby us, listening every time Nathan and I talked so Alexis knew exactly what Nathan and I were talking about, which is why we were whispering now. Just in case whoever that person was, was listening.
We were being quiet enough so that whoever could be listening to us, wouldn't be able to hear us. Especially now that Jennifer had brought Nathan up. I didn't want Alexis knowing what we were talking about in general, but I really didn't want her to know that we were talking about Nathan. That would pique her interest.
"So, what happened to the whole, you don't want to be friends with Nathan while he's dating Alexis?" Jennifer whispered after looking around the room to make sure no one was paying that close attention to us. I looked around for a brief second and saw that Alexis was watching Nathan. She probably had more of an interest watching him than me.
"I don't know if I can say. If he didn't tell you what's going on, then I probably shouldn't tell you," I replied my voice in a whisper. It looked like Nathan might have told Jennifer that we had been talking to each other, but he didn't mention that he was only dating Alexis to stop her from ruining my life. I wasn't sure why, but maybe Nathan didn't want to tell everyone that news.
"I'll ask him about it later then, if I can pry Alexis off of him," she said rolling her eyes.
"Is Cameron talking to Nathan at all?" I asked.
I hadn't seen Cameron hanging out with Nathan and the rest of their friends since Alexis started hanging out with them at lunch. It seemed like he had decided not to be around Nathan when Alexis was around him. But I didn't know if they were hanging out with each other when she wasn't around. Cameron could be avoiding Nathan completely since Alexis was usually hanging all over him. I wasn't sure where Cameron was hanging out at lunch now, but I knew it wasn't with his friends.
Cameron had made it clear when Nathan had told all of us that he was back with Alexis, that he did not support his best friend's decision, but I thought that Cameron would stick around. But I guess since Cameron was probably the one who knew best on how Nathan had been the first time, he didn't want to be there when it happened again.
"No. He refuses to. I don't blame Cameron though. I'm really close to the point of not hanging out with Nathan and Alexis plus her posse because they annoy the hell out of me," Jennifer said.
"Where does Cameron hang out then?" I asked.
"With his basketball teammates. He plays on the school team," Jennifer replied.
"If you ever want to escape Alexis and her posse, then you can hang out with us," Kimberly said.
"I second that. Then you can meet my cousin, Jordan," I replied.
"I'll have to think about that. I'm guessing that invitation is extended to Kelly too?" she asked.
I looked over at Kimberly to make sure she was okay with that as well before looking back over at Jennifer and nodding my head. She smiled and then said thank you before we all went back to focusing on what we were supposed to be working on. About an hour later, maybe a little less, Kimberly and I exited our cooking class and headed towards the lunch table. Since we had made soup in cooking class, neither of us were hungry and going to get lunch. I hadn't brought any money with me anyways since I knew that we would be eating the soup we had made in cooking class. That was my lunch for today.
After Kimberly and I had both stopped off at our lockers to get what we needed for the rest of the school day, we headed off to the cafeteria to join Jordan and her friends at their table. They had let us sit with them ever since Jordan and I had met and become fast friends. When we got to the table, Jordan was the only one sitting there.
"Hey guys, how was class?" Jordan asked us as we sat down across from her.
"Good. We had soup for lunch," Kimberly answered. She was a lot more talkative now that we weren't around Nathan and his friends, but she had been quiet at first when we had joined Jordan and her friends for lunch.
"I knew I should have taken that class. It's probably a whole lot better than eating the cafeteria food," Jordan said looking down at the hamburger that was sitting in front of her.
"I'm sure everyone wishes that when they pass by the cooking classroom," I replied. Jordan nodded her head, sighed, and then regretfully took a bite of her hamburger. The cafeteria food was edible, but there could definitely be some improvements so I knew how Jordan felt.
Kimberly and I let Jordan eat in peace and while we were waiting for her to finish, Jordan's two other friends came and joined us. Both of them had food in their hands from the cafeteria so they had gone to get food before joining us. Gabrielle sat down next to Jordan and brushed her black hair behind her shoulder as she said hello to me, Jordan, and Kimberly. We said hello back as Shannon sat down next to Gabrielle and then said hello to us as well.
After everyone had greeted each other, Gabrielle and Shannon started on their lunches as Jordan finished hers. Jordan finished her lunch not too much longer after that and untied her long brown hair that she put back when she was eating something.
"Did you guys eat lunch in cooking class?" Shannon asked after she had finished chewing on the bite of Mac and Cheese she had put in her mouth. She tucked a piece of her short bright blonde hair behind her ear as she looked up at me and Kimberly.
"Yeah, we made soup today," Kimberly replied nodding her head.
"Soup sounds great right now," Gabrielle groaned.
"It does, but you'd have to bring it from home instead of getting here. I don't think our school has ever served soup," Shannon said before she took another bite of her lunch.
"That would be too much work for them," Jordan said. Gabrielle and Shannon laughed while I saw Kimberly smile. I hadn't been at this school long enough to know any inside jokes about the teachers and staff of this school so I was a little bit clueless.
It grew quiet after that until Kimberly brought up that we had invited Jennifer and Kelly to come sit with us if they didn't want to sit with Alexis and her friends anymore. No one at our table had objections so that made me feel relieved just in case Jennifer and Kelly decided to show up and sit down at our table one of these days.
Jordan and her friends had all understood why we had invited Jennifer and Kelly to come sit with us, not only because we had known them first and had sat with them for awhile, but also because they understood that Jennifer and Kelly could only handle so much of Alexis and her friends.
I knew that Jennifer and Kelly were mostly staying for Nathan since Cameron had already bailed, but I'm sure Alexis and her friends would eventually just be too much for Jennifer and Kelly. That's when they'll decide to come join us at our table, which wasn't today. I'm sure eventually they would join us because they seemed to get more annoyed with Alexis and her friends as time went on. At least that's what Jennifer told me, but she also mentioned that they were holding on just for Nathan.
Once they left the table, Nathan wouldn't have any friends at that table. He would be stuck with his girlfriend and her friends plus all the other popular kids that Alexis had hanging out her during lunch and before school. Under normal circumstances that wouldn't seem all that bad, but if you knew a girl like Alexis and didn't want to be a part of that crowd, then you might feel bad for Nathan, who was stuck.
Well technically he wasn't stuck because he could just break up with Alexis and take a chance that she wasn't going to do something to me, which wasn't true, but I didn't think Nathan was going to break up with Alexis right now. He wanted to protect me even though it meant that he had to stick around and pretend that he wanted to be with Alexis.
I still thought that she knew that Nathan wasn't with her because he wanted to be, but she never made it known. She just continued to be all over Nathan even when she didn't know if I was around. I'd walk around the corner, on my way to one of my classes, and there they would be. Nathan looked unhappy as Alexis was practically jumping him. I think Alexis just liked that fact that she had the opportunity to do whatever she wanted with Nathan and he wouldn't stop her because that would mean she'd take it out on me.