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It has been two days since the incident, and things were almost back to normal between Salma and Zayn. Almost!
In the past two days, Salma had managed to ensure that the twenty feet rock pile at the foot of the mountain was strong and safe enough for climbing. She added reinforcements where it looked weak or just filled with loose mud. This accomplishment came largely as a result of a full stomach, and because it was the perfect excuse to avoid Mr. Zayn I'm-Not-A-Pervert- Harris. She even climbed the pile and part of the mountain to get her muscles working, and also, to figure out a rough estimate of the amount of time she would need to get to the road that she could not even see.
The day before had been eventful. An annoyed Zayn, who was left talking to the walls all day, sought to start an argument to make her life miserable. She made the mistake of saying Alhumdulillah - All praise is due to Allah, a prayer said when Muslims are grateful - while Zayn was within earshot.
And that was it, BOOM!
"What do you feel grateful for?" He scoffed after Salma explained what it meant. "Getting to live like a goat in the forest?"
"You should learn from your mistakes," she replied nonchalantly. "You had the exact attitude towards the berries, and when they were gone, you had to live off of leaves. Now that you got real food, you are back to being an ungrateful, whiny kid."
"You can't expect me to 'sing praises of the Lord' because I got to live like a goat," he muttered moodily.
"Actually, I do. You got food now. Stop complaining."
"Well, I won't. I want to get out of here. So what happens now?" Zayn asked, raising an incredulous brow. "The food we have will vanish and leaves will burn? Then what? There isn't much we can lose after that, is there?"
He let out a short, sarcastic laughter. Salma decided to stick to being silent. She had had one hell of day at the slope and he was picking on her because he had no one to keep him company. She might as well try and not give him the satisfaction, Salma figured.
"Seriously though," Zayn continued unabated, "You ought to stop fooling yourself and face reality. All this "I'm-Miss-grateful-for-everything-He-throws-at-me-or-else-He'll-punish-me" act is getting you nowhere. There is no God watching over you, and you are stuck in a forest with no way out. No one is coming to get you because everyone at home believes you are dead! You're on your own! You're suffering and will suffer more and then you just die and that's the reality of it all. Get that through your head!"
Salma quirked a brow.
"Is reality to you all that you see, or all that you wish to see?"
"Meaning?"
"Meaning you conveniently choose to ignore what you have, focusing too much on what you don't have."
"What I have?" he said raising his eyebrows. "Really? . . . Go on, enlist what I have?"
"For starters, you're alive," Salma began, lifting a finger as if counting. "You could have died -"
"Oh, I'm so pleased!" Zayn snapped sarcastically, "I'm alive! What the fu-
"You could have been seriously injured -"
"I am injured!"
"Not seriously." Salma pointed out as she raised another finger. "You're not blind, for example, don't have organs poking out of your body, have all your limbs in one piece. Shortly, you aren't really disabled"
"Oh my God, you've totally lost the plot!" Zayn spluttered, shaking his head in disbelief. "So if a God exists, I ought to be grateful because He didn't chop me into pieces?! Bee, come on! Are you for real?"
"No, you ought to be grateful because He protected you from getting chopped into pieces!"
"We got thrown out of a freaking bus!" Zayn argued. "You call that protecting? I hurt my damn leg. Is this - ?!"
"A test," Salma interrupted, her voice calm, her tone indifferent.
Zayn looked at her incredulously, his eyes were wide, his mouth agape.
"You're crazy. You know what, with you, I can't -" He threw up his hands in surrender. "You're batshit crazy! How do you even - What in the world is He testing me for?!"
"You?" Salma laughed. "Nah! You're not worth it."
Zayn eyed her as if she should be locked up in a padded cell.
"The test is mine, Mr. Harris," she said derisively. "I'm being tested by your insufferable presence. I wanted to slap you the moment you first opened your mouth . . . I'm still holding the urge back."
She turned to him and smiled. Zayn still looked like he was holding himself back from smacking her on the head with his walking stick, but then again, he was too engrossed in questioning her sanity.
"Told you the world doesn't revolve around you," she provoked him more, "You're just a . . . a thing? I mean, you sometimes look human but most of the times . . . yeah, you're just a test to me, to see how far I can go without giving up. Looks like I'm passing the test so far, don't I?"
Salma knew she was being obnoxious, but hey, two can play a game, right?
"Not the test of sanity," Zayn snorted, clearly bruised by her degrading comments but too proud to show it.
Salma scoffed.
"You won't survive three days without me," she informed him calmly. "You're right, I could die here. Any minute could be my last. You really need to learn to be grateful for what you have."
"Back to counting the non existent blessing, are we?" Zayn threw up his hands in frustration.
"Oh yeah," Salma replied as she went back to counting on her fingers, feeling amused by his annoyance. "You could've been alone, but you've got human company -
"Inhuman company. You're socially awk-"
"- First aid -"
"I'm freaking shackled to the floor!"
" The shelter -"
"You mean this filthy wreck, full of holes?!"
"Wat-"
No sooner had the words escaped Salma's lips that there was a deafening crash as if a volcano has erupted. Her entire world flipped over, and her vision blurred. She felt the floorboards underneath her shaking and give way, sinking near her feet. A few more crashes followed the first, making the whole building around her shake violently.
The deafening silence that followed the sudden, and explosive commotion reverberated in her ears. Everything was coated in many layers of dust. Distantly, there was a continuous retching noise that sounded oddly like coughing. Salma was paralyzed. For a quite a while, she had no understanding of the reality around her. The thundering blasts had totally sucked the life out of her, effectively cutting off her ability to properly see, hear or feel.
"Bee!" Zayn called out from somewhere, before he was overtaken by another coughing fit. His voice seemed so far away, "Bee! Are you okay?"
The dust settled a bit. Salma's blank gaze rested on a huge rock sitting in front her, but she stared, without seeing much. There was a strange whistling in her ears, and things were zooming in and out of sight. Her traumatized brain was still muddled and frozen.
"Bee!" Zayn's panicked voice reached her through mess, "Shit - Answer me! Bee!"
The thought occurred that she should probably reply to his call, but she could not function her facial muscles. Her tongue felt heavy and her brain was still sluggish. No part of her body seemed capable of moving.
By the time Zayn got to her side through the debris of the landslide surrounding her, covered in dust from head to toe and shaken to his very core, he was too freaked out to realize what he was doing.
"Are you okay?!" he cried frantically, grabbing her arms as he crouched in front of her. "Oh God, I thought -" Zayn ran his hands over shoulders and down her arms as if to make sure she wasn't hurt. "You're crazy!" he cried, relieved that she was okay, but still shell-shocked by what just happened. "Just stop giving Him ideas, will you?!"
Salma blinked, only slightly aware of the fact that Zayn was screaming nonsense and he was way too close for her preference.
"Don't!" he warned, pointing a threatening finger at her, his crazed eyes shooting flames. "Don't even mention the water, you hear me! Otherwise it'll evaporate next and I'm holding you responsible if that happens. Understand?!"
To say Zayn lost his mind that day, would have been an understatement of the century. Salma had escaped death by millimeters and he was worried about something happening to his water supply.
How considerate!
***
Things between Zayn and Salma became a lot civil after the landslide that hit their shack, and narrowly missed her by mere inches. Zayn figured he might not risk his chances by messing with whatever God that she prayed to multiple times a day - even if he questioned His existence - while Salma was quite convinced the landslide was a wake up call for her.
She was being notoriously obnoxious mere minutes before and she knew that was unacceptable to Lord she bowed to five times a day. Kibr, or arrogance, was what got the king of Angels, Iblees, exiled of the heavens. What to say of a puny human like her. Salma continuously asked Allah's forgiveness for insulting Zayn so much. She figured, if she was to believe he was thrown out of the bus to test her, an equally valid argument could be made that the test was his and she was thrown out of the bus to help him survive.
After all, the world did not revolve around her either.
Although, the two of them separately reached the conclusion that they had wronged the other, both of them kept it a secret - hard headed as they were - and refused to admit their guilt out loud.
Their non-verbally agreed upon truce was evident from their actions, however, as they spent the entire day, clearing the veranda - what remained of it, anyway, in a peaceful, cooperative silence. Fortunately, the impact point was the center of the veranda. The roof on either side - in front of Zayn's room, and the bench that Salma occupied - was still intact. They moved most of the smaller rocks, while the bigger ones were left to add to the décor.
"Those are too heavy to move," Zayn muttered, "Should we just -"
"Let them be, yes," Salma finished his thought.
*
Zayn watched her take a seat on the top step to catch her breath. He sure was glad that she was alright. For a brief moment, when all he saw was dust and rocks where she sat, he thought he had lost her. He had this strange desire to sit next to her and make sure she was alright, but then he shrugged the thought away and turned to his room
Although his rescuer had her moments of arrogance, it was starting to get clearer to him. Mrs. Paris had been wrong all those years ago. Not all Muslims were evil by default. He knew at least one of them. And she definitely wasn't.
"Good night, Bee," he said quietly.
Salma turned around, slightly surprised, before she nodded.
"'Night," she returned.
Later that night, Zayn heard Salma crying softly on the bench. He was strangely unsettled by her misery and spied on her to see her staring at the screen of her phone. He felt thorn between wanting to console her and not wishing to invade her privacy. So far as Zayn had observed, she was the kind of person who kept to herself. Realizing that she was probably missing her family and wouldn't want him butting in, Zayn decided to let her be.
The next day, when Salma passed him his breakfast, Zayn watched her carefully wondering if she was alright. Sitting on top of the stairs, she stared into the pouring rain blankly. It had been raining since the previous night but even when the rain paused, she did not make a move to run off to the forest like she usually did.
After a while, her silence became worrisome. Zayn was not entirely sure why he was so bothered for a girl he did not really care for or know about, but he was. He found it hard to see her be so miserable. There was this guilt burning a hole in his gut that she was thinking too much into his toxic words from the previous day. Not able to stomach the idea, Zayn told himself it was not that and that perhaps, she was worried about that Asim guy like he was about Claire?
Still unnerved, however, he decided to try to talk to her to get her mind off things.
"That guy on the bus," Zayn started, "The one who was sitting next to you. You knew him?"
Salma turned to face him, in a distracted sort of way, like mentally, she was still miles away. Zayn couldn't help but notice how dull her usually brilliant, deep brown eyes looked.
"Yes," Salma frowned slightly, a flicker of surprise crossing her eyes at his sudden question.
"You're allowed to interact normally with the guys that you know?"
Salma's frowned deepened.
"No," she replied.
"But the guy on the bus --"
"He's my brother," Salma explained, her eyes downcast. She was quiet for sometime, biting her quivering lip, "He's an exception to the rule."
"I see," Zayn said, slightly surprised to know Asim was her brother. He thought the guy was her boyfriend, "So like, the rules only pertain to men with whom you can have relationship - like a sexual one."
Salma cringed at his choice of words, getting distracted. She wished Zayn would have used a less explicit adjective to define the nature of the relationship he was referring to.
"There's a list of men - and woman, for muslim men - that are called Mahrams," Salma began explaining, although she was skeptic of where Zayn was going with the discussion by jumping into it out of blue. "Mahrams are those you can't marry. Fathers, grandfathers, uncles, brothers, to name a few. These men are family. Their feelings, their emotions, everything is of a different nature. A father's love, a brother's concern is not the same as that of other men. The rules of interaction with opposite gender don't apply to them."
Zayn nodded in understanding and opened his mouth, but then he ran short of things to discuss. He was, after all, not interested in useless topics like these so he wasn't sure what else to say. He'd rather discuss football, but would she be interested in that?
The rain had stopped once more. The sun peeked between the clouds, bathing the forest in its glowing warmth. When Salma went back to her silent staring into the woods, Zayn decided to stop beating about the bush and address her depression directly.
"Is something bothering you?" Zayn asked. "You seem upset."
Again, Salma was caught off guard by his unexpected question. She couldn't help but notice the concern in his voice. Something seemed off about him. He was being less troublesome. Rather, he was being really kind.
"I'm fine," Salma replied without looking at him. A tiny bee buzzed past her and started collecting pollen from a wildflower growing in a crack on the step. Salma settled on finding solace in watching the bee go about it's business.
Zayn waited, but after a brief pause when she did not look like she was going to open up, he made an awkward offer, taking Salma by complete surprise.
"You can talk to me about it . . . if you want."
Salma eyed him weirdly. Since when did Zayn become all understanding and thoughtful? She would have love to run her mouth right then and get things off her chest, but she just did not want to pour her heart out to a stranger. And that too, a really unpredictable one at that.
She wished her brother was around, or Dean, or James . . .
"Well?" Zayn asked.
Salma released a long breath.
"I just want to go home," she finally admitted.
"Don't we all," Zayn laughed bitterly, trying and failing not to think of Claire and Niall, and his grandpa. He shook his head to clear it. "Any special reason why you're missing home so much today?" Zayn asked. "You seem particularly upset. Is it a special day? Someone's birthday, maybe?"
Salma smiled sadly at his accurate guess.
"No, not a birthday," she replied, feeling miserable.
"Okay?" Zayn beckoned her on.
Once again, Salma pondered over sharing something so personal with Zayn. It would not hurt to share just a bit, she debated.
"My cousin accepted Islam today," Salma said quietly, withholding the fact that it was also the day when William finally came back home, four years ago, after he had disappeared for a full year.
A strange silence settled between the two. Her mind traveled back to the day when William decided show the family his face again.
Salma remembered opening the door to a tall, curly haired boy, with a bandanna wrapped around his brown locks. At first glance, she failed to recognize him. It took her a while to take in his familiar, forest green eyes and his trademark curls. Salma remembered screaming for her mother and Anne. She remembered both of them running towards the door, startled by her and then freezing in shock at the sight of William. The memory was still fresh in Salma's mind when Anne flung her arms around him, crying and kissing and hugging every part of her son. Whatever was left of him, was drowned by her mother's vicious attacked of affection, getting the poor boy caught in a strange mess of emotions.
When her uncle came home that day, he was totally beside himself. Salma thought the man would burst with happiness and excitement any second.
It was during dinner that night that William expressed his desire to accept Islam. Salma remembered the shock on everyone's face when the words escaped his mouth. Anne, Uncle Dawood, Alley and even her father seemed not to have understood him clearly. They kept asking him if he was sure. Salma knew, back then like her, everyone suspected William was only doing that to try, and right the wrong he had done over the past one year. Everyone felt like it was his way of earning acceptance back into the family – not that he needed too. There wasn't a soul in the house that was not ecstatic over his return.
However, he had proven everyone's suspicions wrong by sticking to his decision the past four years and living his life, very much, as a Muslim.
"Are you guys close?" Salma heard Zayn ask through her train of thoughts.
Stretching her arms behind her, Salma leaned against her palms and looked up at the sky. Patches of blue were now visible between the clouds.
Were they close?
Salma and William were very close growing up together. She first met him when they were both seven, after her uncle, Dawud, married William's mother, Anne. The two became best friends. They were inseparable until -
Until a decision Salma took when she was seventeen. It did not sit very well with William. Salma believed that of all the people affected by her decision, William took it the hardest. Although he did not confront her about it directly, he refused to follow the rules and kept visiting her place as if it was his own. Even if it meant Salma's movement in the house was greatly restricted when he was around. And he was around a lot, considering that he lived next door.
Salma wasn't as bothered by his transgressions as she thought she would be. At least, she was fairly warned of his presence every time he dropped by. She just kept to her room till he was gone but it was enough of a statement to prove that he disagreed with her, and that he was not going to cooperate.
Anne talked to Salma on his behalf about it a couple of times - though she made it very clear she would support her in her decisions, whatever they may be. Her mother on the other hand, was not so understanding. She tried to change Salma's mind, using every technique of emotional blackmail that mothers have used in the history of motherhood.
Things seem to work out fine till William found out James and Dean were not going to be affected by the new arrangement. William became really upset. Sometime later - before he left home - he totally got off track. Although nobody said it aloud, Salma was sure everyone in the family had entertained the thought at least once, that his meltdown was her fault. She could see it in their eyes every time William found a new way to misbehave. And although not a fair one, but perhaps they had a point -
"Earth to Bee!" Zayn shouted, jolting Salma out of her thoughts.
"Sorry, I got side tracked," Salma muttered, feeling embarrassed. "Did you say something?
Zayn looked at her incredulously.
"What's gotten into you?" he said, shaking his head in disbelief. "A few centuries ago, I asked if you and your cousin were close and you zoned out!"
Salma hugged her knees, ignoring his ridicule.
"We used to be close," she answered Zayn shortly.
Zayn resisted the urge to snort. It took her ages to come up with that?!
"What happened?" he asked instead.
"Between us?" Salma asked.
"No, between us," Zayn replied sarcastically, losing his patience with her. "Of course, between you and your cousin!"
"Nothing." She shrugged, too upset to bother snapping at him for being rude. "We grew older."
"What does that mean?" Zayn asked, a frown creased his forehead as he reminded himself to tone it down.
"He is not one of the exception guys, so I can't go about being pals with him."
"Him?" Zayn asked, "Your cousin is a guy?"
"Why?" Salma eyed him flatly, feeling irked, "Can't a girl have male cousins?"
"No, it's just that when you said you were close, I assumed it was a female," Zayn replied, then frowning he added, "but how can you be close to a guy? You didn't mention cousins in that list. Isn't it against one of those Islamic rules thingy?"
The way he said 'Izlaumic roo'es tingeh' made Salma laugh. British accent already seem to play a number on English, and then when Zayn added his own layers of thick accent to it, it became a whole another language to learn.
"No, it's not," Salma replied, still amused by his pronunciation. "Those rules are meant to be followed when you are older, close to early teenage, to be specific."
Salma did not want to say the term 'puberty' explicitly, so she prayed Zayn understood what she meant and not cause her more embarrassment over it.
"So, even if you two were very close . . ." Zayn trailed off.
"I still have to observe the rules now that we are older." Salma finished for him.
"Crazy business," Zayn muttered.
Salma felt weird talking to him about William, and everything that went down between the two. She had never really discussed the topic with anyone before. Her decision to choose to cover up from every Non Mahram was a really sensitive topic. The decision and William's reaction to it brought drastic changes in her life and family. Something that was better left off, undiscussed.
Sighing, Salma stared at the clouds, now spread across the sky unevenly. Although she was still sorely missing her family and wished she was back home, where her mother and Anne were probably preparing a large feast for the special day, she was surprised to realize that for some strange reason, talking to Zayn had helped. It felt nice.
She felt lighter.
Author's Note:
On this chapter, the previous batch of reader elected to be named 'Losties' xD. Shoutout to all the Losties!
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IBLEES:
A reference was made in this chapter about Iblees. Some people are getting confused about this personality. So I thought I'd post a bit of reference of who he was and what's his story:
Iblees is the lead devil. He could be Lucifer - who I learned from watching a few episodes of supernaturals series was a lead demon (?) - but I'm not sure.
Iblees, according to the Quran was a very obedient, high status creature in the heavens. He was a jinn - a being made from smokeless fire - but his conduct and worship earned him a place above angels and he was chosen as their leader.
As per the Quran, he was a creature of choice, unlike the Angels. Before Adam's creation, Iblees and the angels were sent to the earth to curb down a bloody, lawless rebellion of the jinns. Then, Adam - another creature of choice - was created to habitate the earth. Adam's status was raised above both Jinns and Angels and Iblees and his subordinates were asked to prostrate before him, showing humbleness.
According to the Qur'an, Iblees refused, citing as an excuse, himself being superior to the human because he was made from fire, while the human was from dirt. He did kibr or arrogance. Upon his disobedience, he was exiled from the heavens and he swore to mislead Adam and his children away from Allah - the God that raised them above him. Arrogance is a HUGE sin in Islam - the Muslim is not to have even an atom's weight of arrogance in his heart.
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Loads of Love,
J.