I woke up on the floor in the front room, stinking of alcohol. Patches of tears and spilled drinks stained the floor with dry puddles. I forgot why I was there, but then it hit me. Gerard had walked out on me.
Why didn't I just tell him where I was went? It wasn't that big a deal. If I had, he would still be here. He'd be sat on the couch, my head in his lap, his fingers entwined in my hair, me falling asleep. Or of course it could have backfired and Gerard could have left me anyway.
Did I make the right decision?
I don't know how long I laid there for, but I knew I couldn't move anyway. I felt paralised. My head hurt like a bitch and I was still crying. I was craving something. Just a little something to take the pain away...
No! No, Frank! I told myself. I thought I was over my addiction? Then, I realized, I got over it when I had Gerard. Now he was gone, I had nothing to live for. Nothing. Why waste life on me when I don't deserve it?
I gradually managed to get to my feet, after a lot of stumbling over. I walked to the bathroom cabinet, where we kept the pills. I found Gerard's anti-depressants. I half chuckled to myself.
The pills stared up at me with alarming eyes.
"Sorry, I have to eat you now," I replied to their silent question. I guess I was still tipsy.
I picked the pills carefully out of the cupboard and popped them out of the wrapping one by one, taking each one and placing it in my hand. There were about fifteen left. Enough to end it.
I said sorry to each pill and I swallowed them without a drink. No, I was going to suffer. I thought, hopefully they'll cause me to choke and make this happen faster.
After popping about 8 pills, I got fed up and swallowed the other 7 at once. Then I lay on the floor, waiting for the drugs to take effect, constantly whispering to myself; It's all my fault, it's all my fault, it's all my fault. Not too long after, everything turned black, and I assumed that I was dead. I was pleased with myself. I'd died with a smile on my face. Happy to go.
But then I shot up, gasping for air.
"Woah, where am I-" I choked out, loud enough for a girl sat beside me to hear.
"We're in the back of an ambulance, Frank. Why did you do this? Where's Gerard? Frank? Frank! Speak to me!"
"Gerard's...gone."
I opened my eyes a little wider to reveal a face. A perfect face. I recognised her voice. It was Jamia.
Gerard left because of Jamia. Well, not necessarily. It was Lindsey putting idea's into his head...but I couldn't be seen with Jamia. What if Gerard's see's us and his suspicians are confirmed?
"Jamia!" I cried out, causing the heart monitor to beep and squeak almost twice as fast as it had been before. I jumped at the sudden pace of it and it caused it to be even faster. Damn my fragile condition.
She laughed, placing a hand on my chest and making me lay down. I didn't even realise I'd sat up.
"Why didn't you just leave me to die?" I whispered, voice breaking slightly, but she heard it.
Her mouth dropped. "Did I hear you correctly? You want to die?!"
I mumbled something not even I could understand and nodded my head. Then I winced at the pain. My head still hurt like a bitch.
"Ow, you bastard." I whispered, as I clutched my hair in my hands and shut my eyes tight.
"Just relax Frank, we'll be at the hospital soon. You can explain yourself then," she said soothingly, her hand on my hand.
**
Gerard's P.O.V
Guilt. Feel guilty Gerard. Frank is in the hospital. It's all your fault. He tried to kill himself because of you.
"Shut up!" I cried, yes, at myself.
I had a phone call from Jamia when she found Frank. She'd gone to see him after she saw me storming out and found him, barely alive. All because of me. And she had no idea what was going on. None at all. She seemed genuine. So Frank wasn't cheating on me? Or he was...but Lindsey made Jamia up to piss me off? She knew I was uneasy with her.
I knew I should have given him time to explain; at least waited until he had stopped pleading to let him clear things up. It was too late now. Jamia said he was in critical condition.
I found myself in the graveyard, where I met Lindsey before. I shuddered at the thought.
Banging my head against the moseleum hurt, but not as much as losing Frank. The pain was unbearable, and I screamed out. I couldn't breathe. I found it hard to see over the tears. I felt like someone had ripped my heart out of my chest and were holding it up infront of me, forcing me to see it.
My eyes blink furiously a few times, trying to make out the figure approaching me.
"Don't do that Gee-Bear," a female voice pleaded.
"You did this to me! You did this to Frank!" I cried, wiping fresh tears away and dropping to the floor without another word.
She sighed, as if considering something.
"Go and see Frank, Gerard. He's alive. Give him chance to explain..." She almost regretted the words as she said them.
I jumped up as fast as my body would allow me and ran down the road, barging past Lindsey in the process. Frank was alive. He could explain, and I'd have him back for good. I'd have my Frankie back.
I burst through the doors in the critical ward and began begging the receptionist to tell me where Frank was.
"Can I help you, Sir?" She looked me up and down, taking in my emotional condition.
"Yes." I half shout. "I need to see a Mr. Frank Iero right now!" I ordered.
"Are you a relative?"
"No, he's my boyfriend! You have to let me see him! Please..." I shut my eyes to stop the oncoming tidal waves.
She considered it for a moment, then pointed me in the right direction. I yell "thank you" over my shoulder, but she was already out of sight. I didn't realise how fast I was running until I realized I couldn't stop and landed face first against the window on Frank's door.
It seemed like everything happened at once and so quickly, too. My heart seemed to stop and my eyes filled up. I shuddered, my breathing juttering to a halt and my knees failed me, causing me to fall to the floor, hard.
I still couldn't breathe. Jamia ran through the doors, screaming my name, but I'd already dragged my limp body down the ward and out of the doors. I propped myself up against the wall outside and cried to myself, banging my head off of the wall once again.
"Ouch..." I mumbled, before I realized that pain didn't came from the wall. Someone was standing over me.
"What's the matter, fag. Your boyfriend break up with you?"
Someone behind the girl made kissy faces. My eyes were too blurred from the tears to see who they were.
"What's it to you?" I snapped, harsher than I should have. I instantly regretted it.
"Oh, wrong move..." Was all I heard before the ringing in my ears as I was kicked right in the gut. I laughed to myself, coughing up blood inbetween chuckles. I deserved this.
**
Frank's P.O.V
At the hospital, I explained everything to Jamia. From beginning to end; every detail. From when Lindsey first had it out for us, to when Gerard left me, thinking I was cheating on him with her.
She nodded along and sighed at that last part, stroking my hair as I started to well up.
"Gerard's gone, Jamia. What should I do?" I whimpered.
"Well, you could maybe try to move on?" I realized her face was a lot closer to mine now. Oh, no. She wasn't suggesting...
Her lips pressed onto mine. There's nothing I could do, I was too weak to push her off. I cried against the kiss, whimpering, not knowing what to do.
Then I heard it. A bang. A loud bang. Jamia pulled away and my eyes widened at the scene before me. It was Gerard, and he was crying. He fell to his knees, and I could almost feel the amount of pain he was in. My heart pounded in my chest at the sudden realization.
"Jamia! Go get him!" I cried, clutching my chest, trying to slow down the heart monitor. I heard Emergency in room 103! from outside and a swarm of nurses and doctors surrounded me. I could no longer see Gerard.