"Good afternoon," Daddy greeted as I dragged myself tiredly to the kitchen. Chase's hoodie still wrapped around me keeping me warm and I shoved my hands deep into the pockets. I rubbed the sleep out of my eye and took a heavy seat at the dining table.
"Afternoon?" I croaked.
He hummed. "Yes. You slept through the morning, but given the amount f alcohol you had last night, it's to be expected." He said it calmly but the disdain in his voice was clear.
"H-how did you know?"
"I'd prefer it if you didn't entertain the guests. They won't be staying long and I don't need you forming any attachments."
"So what? I'm just to continue on life as if they don't exist? Ignore them? Avoid them?"
"If that's what it takes."
"That's not fair, Daddy." I said.
"Life's not fair. We have to be careful now. We can't trust anyone, let alone a group of strangers."
"But-"
"No 'buts', Nora. Please, try to stop unnecessary contact.' He said, sternly.
I clenched my jaw. "What about Elle? She loves having them here and they've only been here a could of days so far."
"You're her mother, Nora, that's your decision but as your father i'm asking you to stop."
He placed down a plate of eggs and bacon in front of me. "Eat. It'll help."
I didn't want to eat. I don't think that my stomach could handle food right now, just the smell of the eggs was enough to have me gag. Daddy quickly handed me a bucket just in time for me to puke my guts up into. The next few moments were spent up chucking the contents of my stomach, which maninly consisted of all the wine and half of the diner from last night. After a couple of minutes all I could manage was a few painful retches that strained both my stomach and my throat. Once I was done, daddy pulled the bucket away and disposed of my vomit as I wiped my mouth.
"You look awful." Maggie commented, walking into the room with a basket of fresh eggs.
"Shut up." I grumbled. I laid my head down on my arms and moaned. "I feel awful."
"Deserves you right for wakin' us up."
I looked at her. "Huh?"
"You were loud -you always are but more so when you're trying to be quiet. You were a mess."
"I'm sorry." I apologised, pathetically.
"It's not us you should be apologising too." Maggie said. "Elle got freaked out when you came in last night.
I frowned. "Why didn't she come to me?"
"Because I went to her." She replied. "Plus, I didn't think that you were in any state to see her. Or her, you."
I squeezed my eyes shut and sighed. "I'm an awful mother."
The chair beside me screeched as it was pulled out and an arm was drapped over my shoulder. "You're not a bad mother-"
"I'm not a good one." I interrupted.
Maggie knocked her head against mine gently. "Shh, i'm talking. You're not a bad mother, Nora. You've just never been a single before. It's new to you. You're not used to having to take on everything." She paused. "I know you don't want to talk about it but Chase was quite literally your rock."
I tensed up at his name and Maggie either didn't notice or chose to ignore me as she continued.
"You relied on him. And he was you support. He was your normal." Maggie's hand squeezed my shoulder. "You're aloud to be making mistakes now that he's gone. You're still learning to get through this. You just need to be careful what mistake you make now, in this new world. Janelle is the most important person to you, keep her close and you'll know what to do next."
Silence enveloped us as we both seemed to think over her words. She was right. Everything has changed and i;m all alone in raising Janelle. I now my family would argue otherwise but it's not the same as having Chase standing beside me. And it never will be, He helped me become who I am, he always had my back and was there for me. Him not being here -him not being by my side has me aching within. He should have been here, he deserves to be here.
My shoulders sagged and I leant into Maggie's comforting hold.
"I'm still awful." I mumbled.
She laughed. "That's the aftershock of alcohol talking. You feelin' any better?"
I nodded slowly. "As long as I don't make any sudden movements. I think i've already puked up everything that I possible could have."
Maggie stood up and I only just realised that Daddy had disappeared.
"You should go and find Elle."
My eyes suddenly widened. "Oh my god! Where is she?" I demanded, frantically.
Maggie grinned at me. "She's fine," She assured. "She out front talkin' to some of the new ones."
The talk Daddy and I had before flashed through my mind. I'm not going to ruin this for her. I took a deep breathe, hopng to settle my stomach and clear my foggy head and carefully stood up with a longing glance towards my untouched plate of bacon and eggs.
I wrapped Maggie in hug. "Thank you. I love you."
"I love you too," She pulled away with her nose wrinkled. "Although you stink of alcohol. You should really shower. I'll keep an eye on Elle for twenty minutes if ya wanna do that now."
I looked down at my Pjs and grimaced. I know that most of the group saw me like this last night but it was dark and my mind was focused purely on the wine and getting as drunk as I could. There is no way in hell that i'm stepping out of these doors into broad daylight dressed like this.
"Please," I said.
Maggie ushered me to the stairs. "Go. Hurry. Elle's been asking for you all morning."
I rolled my eyes. "Don't tell me that."
"Hurry up then." maggie urged.
I hurried up the stairs, narrowly avoiding Maggie's shoving hands.
I showered, and get dressed having felt better after soaking in the warm water for a couple of minutes. At least now, I looked presentable. Outside was uncomfortably bright on my sensitive eyes. The warm water woke me up but it did nothing to help with my pounding head or my obscure sensitivity to everything.
"Well, you definitely look better." Maggie chuckled from her seat on the porch swing.
"Shut up." I smiled. "Where's Elle?" My eyes scanned across the fields, brushing over everyone milling around.
"She was with Carol about ten minutes ago." She replied.
I rolled my eyes as they landed on Carol hanging up washing. . . But with no Elle around. "Where's she now?"
Maggie stayed silent as we both scanned the crowd. It took me a few moments before I zeroed in on Elle's small form bouncing around by the furthest tent. All I could see was the top of her head bouncing around but I knew it was her.
I glared at Maggie. "This is the last time you look after your niece."
"I'm sorry." She apologised. "I knew where she was a few moments ago but daddy called for me. I had only come back out a few seconds before you had."
I jogged down the steps with a pathetic wave over my shoulder. And made my way towards Elle.
"Janelle? Baby? What are you doing so far out without an adult?" I called when I was just a few feet from her. She didn't answer me but I could make out her blabbering away.
"And then she fell over. Face first in the mud. Mommy got really angry when Daddy laughed at her. She was cover-"
"Janelle!" I exclaimed, jumping around the side of the tent. "Stop talking!"
I froze when my eyes locked onto Daryl's blue ones. He was sat on a log, arrows gathered at his feet with one clutched in his hand as he used a homemade knife to sharpen the head. Janelle looked up at me wide eyed, like she's just been caught doing something bad.
"I'm sorry," I apologised to Daryl. "If she's harassing you."
"Nah," He said. "Ya fine." He smirked. "She was jus' tellin' stories."
My face flushed unattractively. I could feel my ears burning in embarrassment. "None that are true." I tried to deny.
Janelle tugged on my shirt. "But you had mud everywhere."
Daryl chuckled. "Not true, huh?"
I rolled my eyes. "Okay, so that one might have a little truth to it."
I crouched down so that I was at the same height as Janelle. "What've you been telling people, Elle?"
She scuffed her shoes against the mud and twirled the end of her T-shirt. " . . . Nothing."
"Really? And if I were to ask Daryl, here, he'd say 'nothing' too?"
She looked over her shoulder back at him and then quickly her attention snapped back to me and she nodded. I looked at Daryl, silently asking the question.
And he smirked. "She said nothin'."
I narrowed my eyes and shook my head. Daryl grinned and raised his hands. "Nothin' ya can prove."
"You're teachin' her bad things." I scolded playfully. "Lying. Tut, tut, tut."
He balanced his elbows on his knees and hunched over forward and gestured Elle to come closer. She looked up at me for a moment to make sure that it was going to be alright and I nodded gently. Slowly she crept closer to him, curiously. When she got a few feet away she paused and watching him expectantly. Again he beckoned her closer. She took two tentative steps forward, careful not to tread on any of his arrows.
"Now," Daryl's thick southern accent drawled. "Wha' was it 'bout ya momma fallin' in some mud?"
I glared at him as he smirked at me over Elle's giggling form. She bounced eagerly on the balls of her feet. "Do you want me to tell it from the beginning?"
I clapped my hands down onto her shoulders, stilling her. "I'm sure Daryl has more important things to do."
"But-" Elle pouted.
"Don't you?" I aimed at him. He took one look at my stern expression and nodded.
"I do, actually."
Elle's face fell and her shoulders slumped under my hands. "Okay," She muttered sadly.
Now I felt bad. I sighed, and gently turned her around to face me. "Maybe if you ask Daryl nicely he'll come and listen to your stories later when he's finished what it is he's gotta do?"
Elle's eyes shined and she spun on her heels to him. I locked eyes with Daryl and he had one eyebrow cocked slightly higher than the other in question. I shrugged as if to say, 'what can ya do?'
"Can we do that?!" Elle screeched excitedly.
Daryl winced at the high pitched tone of her voice and I chuckled. He really hasn't been around kids. Elle's always screeching and over the years I've gradually grown accustomed to her high pitched noises, doesn't mean sometimes they surprise me but on a whole, I grown to expect it now.
I could see the conflicted emotions flicker across his face. I couldn't tell exactly what they all were but I knew that a part of him didn't really want to, but I could also see the part that Elle always seems to effect in people, the part that makes you feel bad when saying no. The part that makes you want to make her smile.
Elle has a beautiful smile - her fathers smile- and no matter the situation or the people, it's contagious. You just can't help but smile down at her. She really was a little angel.
"Sure," Daryl finally agreed. "Why n't. But ya have ta be a good gurl for ya momma."
Elle nodded frantically. "Yeah. Yup. I will. I promise."
"Now," I spoke up, "why don't we go and help grandpa Hershel with the gardening."
Elle tossed her head back and groaned. "But momma, it's boring."
"I'll see if auntie Beth has any chocolate." I bribed.
"Where's grandpa?" She asked.
I chuckled. "Around the side of the house. Why don't you go inside and change into your paint clothes and i'll meet you over there?" Before I'd even finished the sentence she was off. I know bribing my daughter with Chocolate was not the most mature way to handle her but it got her doing what she was told and I never said i'd give her any, just that I'd see if I could find any.
"I'm sorry," I said, honestly. "She just really likes people."
"S'lright." Daryl drawled. "She's cute."
"She's a pain." I countered.
"I don' doubt it. But ya seem ta have a lid on it."
I smiled softly. "Not on my own."
"Ya know, she has some int'resin' stories about ya," The teasing pull of his lips annoyed me.
"She's also four and has a very wild imagination." I pointed out.
He couldn't argue that point. I could see in his eyes that he wanted to but kept his mouth shut.
"You don't need to worry about later. I'll keep her entertained, she'll forget about story time." I said. I gave him another smile before turning to meet Elle.
I got as far as the other side of the tent before Daryl's voice floated after me. "Don' do th't. I'm a'right with it."
My footsteps stopped and my lips stretched even wider. "I apologize in advance if you get bored then."
"I don' think tha'll 'appen." he replied, quieter this time and the sound of metal slicing against metal started up.
I left Daryl after that brief conversation and found Elle standing by daddy's side pointing at odd plants, asking questions. I kissed her head as I made it to their sides and crouched down getting to work. Pulling up weeds and re-planting flowers and such, while Elle tried to cover herself as much as she could in Mud.