1-Poke him. In the forehead.
2-Pretend you're another Uchiha who somehow survived.
3-When ever Sasuke gets near, scream 'MY UCHIHA SENSES ARE TINGLING!' proving your point
4-Insist he still loves Sasuke
5-Say that he killed his clan because he was jealous of Sasuke's great and awesome power, and couldn't handle the pressure
6-Emphasize great and awesome
7-Every time he says something, turn it into a 'Your face' insult. Example: Hi! Hi your face. You're strange. Your face is strange. You lack good insults. Your face lacks good insults. I'm awesome. Your face is awesome. Repeat.
8-Get creeped out by the sharingan. Ask if it's a genetic mutation or a sign of radioactivity.
9-Ask him if it's red-eye
10-When ever he says something, make it into a conspiracy theory. Example: Shut up or I'll use my mangekyo You: What mangekyo? There's no mangekyo! That's ridiculous, what is this 'mangekyo' you speak of ? There's no mangekyo, there never has been! This works best if he actually uses the mangekyo on you and you say it afterwards
11-Become an Itachi fangirl
12-Ask him about the lines on his eyes.
13-If they're insomnia, lecture him on the benefits of a good night's rest.
14-Call him emo15-Insist Sasuke's cuter
16-When ever he talks, break into hysterical laugher
17-If he asks, sigh, shake your head, and laugh again
18-Sing 'Pop goes the Weasel' and dance around him
19-Show him UchihaCest fics.
20-When ever he does something, say, "I bet Sakura would want to know about this" and wink
21-Insist he's a girl because of his ponytail.
22-Say that Itachi's a funny name
23-Draw chibi female Itachi's
24-Become a Mary-Sue
25-Declare him your true love in a fake high-pitched voice.
26-Get 13 toothbrushes, and lay them next to each other, and separate one. Laugh hysterically at it. When he asks, don't say anything
27-After a while, say, figures you wouldn't understand. Laugh hysterically at him.
28-Continuously mutter under your breath 'Weasel weasel weasel weasel…'
29-When he asks you to stop, look up innocently
30-Ask if he's been hearing things. Call a psychologist
31-Or even better-- therapist. Separate the 'the' and the rest of the word and you'll see what I mean.
32-Spell his name as Uchia
33-Buy him many, many toys. Call them all Sasuke.
34-Have them all mysteriously fall out the window one day. Blame it on him pressuring Sasuke to commit suicide.
35-Dye his cloak pink.36-Follow him around, spraying everything he touches with disinfectant.
37-When talking to him, look at a spot a little to the right of his face.
38-Buy him things. Ugly, frilly things.
39-Cry when he doesn't wear them
40-If he does, glomp him and say in a high pitched voice, "I knew you would! You're my hero!"
41-Do that anytime he does ANYTHING. e.g Brush his teeth, pick up a pen
42-Develop an unnatural fear of boxes.
43-Insist that boxes are trying to take over the world. Relate everything to boxes
44-Steal his nailpolish
45-Cut off his ponytail. Run.
46-Add maniacal laughter at the end of every sentence.
47-Lecture him on his evilness. Give him tips
48-Insist he didn't do the maniacal laugh correctly in 386, and it needed more of structure and ooomph
49-Every time you do something or see something, say it's lacking Itachi-style (Everytime you eat something, point at it and say something like, "YOU…YOU…ARE WEAK. WHY ARE YOU WEAK? BECAUSE YOU LACK SALT".)
50-Perform bad Itachi-impersonations in front of him.
51-Give him shark-fin soup. Run when he asks about Kisame.
52-Write yaoi lemon fanfics about him and Kisame.
53-Become a Sasuke fangirl and obsess about him everytime you talk to Itachi
54-Buy him 'Sharingan for Dummies' or 'Evil in 24 days' for his birthday
55-Give it long after his birthday, throwing him a party
56-Insist that it's his birthday over and over again
57-Insist that the red clouds on his cloak are really flowers
58-Go into a long psychological lecture about how he's still just a tool being used by the Akatsuki
59-Tell him that violence doesn't solve anything and demand an apology to Sasuke
60-Replace his shuriken with fake plastic cosplay ones
61-Constantly point out his similarities with Ino. Insist that they're an OTP
62-Insist he's really 50 and a pedophile in disguise
63-Draw on his face
64-Show him ItaKisa fanart
65-Search for him on DeviantArt and show him the results
66-Hide embarrassing 'adult content' in his room where other members will find it
67-Call him in congratulations about his new daughter. Hang up when he asks.
68-Call him and start yelling at him to stay away from your daughter, and demand money for an abortion. When he insists that he has no clue about what you're talking about, yell "That's wat they all say!"
69-Insist there is no number 69. Make sure you make no sense and have faulty logic.
70-Convince him he has a blue dot on his head. When he goes to check, run.
71-Insist he needs glasses.
72-Ask if he gets discounts because of his vision impairment.
73-Get him a seeing-eye dog
74-Better yet, a seeing-eye weasel
75-Make the weasel wear an Akatsuki cloak, and give it a ponytail with a ribbon
76-Insist that he and the weasel make a perfect couple
77-Dye his hair pink.
78-Keep on making references to a secret affair with Madara.
79-Call him a n00b. Not noob, n00b. Say it in an obnoxious strange voice
80-Insert random nonsense Japanese words at random points in the conversation.
81-Say this: You are weak…why are you weak? Because you lack it. You lack…LOVE!! –I really want to say that to him…
82-At random points, scream "OHMYGOD IT'S SASUKE! HIDE!" and duck.
83-Speak in a dazed, calm voice, and keep on saying "See you on the island" and "They keep us there because we know too much"
84-Comment about how much an idiot he is for killing his clan to test his capacity, and that if he wanted to do that, he should've killed another clan. Duh.
85-Keep on bothering him for the real reason he killed his clan.
86-Challenge him to a staring contest (I advise running before this starts)
87-At random moments, mention '393', looking grim towards Itachi. When he doesn't understand, shake your head.
88-Pretend you're bipolar.
89-Repeat every third third word you say say.
90-Ask him why he wears nailpolish.
91-Replace his nailpolish with sparkly pink polish.
92-Say that perfume also works as breath spray.
93-Post him trying on YouTube
94-Make an ItaSaku AMV
95-Show him videos of him singing 'Barbie Girl'
96-Burst out laughing, saying 'Itachi' at random moments.
97-Insist he's blind
98-Pretend you're Itachi and respond to girlfriend requests with 'yes'
99-Conveniently set up all dates on the same day and restaurant
100-Do all the previous.
101-Show him this list.