Chapter 8
Karas pov
Muscular arms were draped around me, protecting me from every danger. Woah, woah, woah, who the hell is this guy. Twisting my body slightly I noticed it was Danny. Danny? How the hell did he get here? I thought about it for a few moments when a sudden thought flashed through my head. He was staying at our house for two weeks doing his check thing.
I pushed his heavy arms off of me as he stirred in his sleep. Awww, he looked like a little angel while he was sleeping. I mentally slapped myself for thinking that as I continued walking towards my closet. I picked out an outfit and headed towards the bathroom, ready for a shower.
The shower was relaxing, it helped open my droopy eyes and made me feel more energised. I also washed my hair using my apple scent which made me smell grand if I don't say so myself. As soon as the towel was wrapped around my body, I looked around my bathroom for my clothes that I swear I brought in. I scanned the bathroom and unfortunately the clothes didn't appear magically like I wished. Cursing in my head, I opened my ensuite door and quietly walked out. My hand defiantly tightened around my towel, when I saw no sleeping body in the bed. Okay where the beep is he? Right Kara just get some new clothes and run back to the bathroom. Simple? Yes no your talking about yourself. Things that happen to Kara on a regular basis:
Embarrassment
Injuries- from my clumsiness.
Self destruction
Boredom
Bad luck
Would you like me to go on? No. Because if I go on-
"looking for these?" A familiar voice asked, however in that moment he wasn't familiar that's why I let out a piercing scream. I spun around to see Danny still semi naked holding my precious clothes in his right hand. Now since I was terrified and I had just practically spun round so fast that towel should of fell down. But no, I know you's want towel to fall so you can laugh at my embarrassment but I have a tight grip, remember I grew up with boys my whole life pranks happen alot and especially when I'm in a towel.
"Danny where did you get my clothes? Why do you have them? And give them back!!!" I demanded, my spare hand on one of my hips.
"I stole your clothes from your bathroom, I have them so I can question about why your up at half five in the morning? And no you can't have your clothes yet" he explained, okay hold up he got up at half five in the morning to question me and he stole my clothes to do it! Okay this is creepy, borderline weird.
"Danny, I couldn't sleep so I'm going for a walk so I can get some fresh air, so go back to sleep give me my clothes and I will see you later" I explained then I made a beeline for my clothes. But he held them up in the air, his long arms made it impossible for me to get them. No I wasn't small but he just a bit taller and his muscular arms were long and this does make a difference. So I couldn't exactly jump because I only had a towel covering me. I sighed at his smirking face as he knew I wouldn't be able to get them back. Why don't I get some clean clothes you say? Because his beautiful body is in the FRICKING way of my walk in closet. Damn him, now I'm going to be interrogated to death and miss my stupid therapist appointment.
After a few minutes of arguing and punching Danny he finally moved and dropped my clothes onto the floor and left the room. In a hurry, I yanked my clothes on and pulled the brush through my hair putting it into a side braid.
I wanted to go ask Danny what that was all about, but my therapist appointment and it's now QUARTRE SIX DAMN HIM. Running through the corridor, down three flights of stairs, into the kitchen to get my keys and trying to be quiet as I shut the door I drove off in my black range rover. This car was my baby and damn I love her so much that I named Alice. Feminine but with the tough exterior making you want to see what's underneath. Wow that's a bit deep for my car. 10 mintues later, I pulled up at my destination due to my intensive speeding and weaving through cars. Squeezing and shoving through the large crowd, I pushed myself to front of the que even with people swearing complaints at me.
"Hey I have my appointment now at 6:00 am, my names Kara Collins" I spoke loudly so she could hear me, she nodded and typed something super quick and told me I could go straight through. You'd be surprised but people pay millions to see this women. She has the mind of Einstein and the looks of a goddess. She listens and fixes your problems and generally supports you but the advice she gives is mind blowing. She helps the darkest and lowest people fix their lives and they become one of the brightest people in the world. I'm so lucky that I get appointments with her but sometimes I feel like my problems aren't worthy enough for her.
I stepped into the room and the clean smell of the room hit me hard. I took a deep breath and smiled at her. She smiled for two seconds ten said " I've got a bone to pick with you young lady". I gulped and thought that this must be serious now. "What is it?" I asked timidly feeling plain and normal in front of her even though I do this every few months.
"You have not showed up to your two last appointments madam" she scolded with we hands on her hips. " I mean I'm supposed to be helping you but..." Before she could say anything else I cut her off " I know and I'm sorry, I promise it won't happen again its just there's a lot going on in my life now".
She placed the pen that was earlier in he hand down and spoke " Go on then Kara tell me, I'm here to listen and then we will discuss everything else".
Taking a deep breath, I told her everything. A-Z. I included everything with Darcy, Colby and Danny and even the party. The party which brought me and my brother together, the party in which Danny saved me.
"Wow alot happens in a short time doesn't it" she replied trying to lighten the air. I nodded and waited for her to talk about the real reason I was here.
Before she could ask me about I spoke quietly but my voice was strong.
"People say pain will go away. How long does it take? Fives years later and I'm still not okay! I want to cry so bad to show you how I'm in pain, to show her that I'm still weak and I let everyone destroy me, worse off I let myself. I'm not in that sort of pain though, it was the empty pain where on the outside it never showed but on the inside it screams through my blood, it shrieks in my head. It was like I'm in an empty room, I'm crying, I'm falling apart and no one can hear except myself. I don't want to help myself, I don't want to feel happy to look in the mirror and smile at the reflection. I don't want to stomp through my own home and not be heard. I don't want to be on a see saw anymore" My voice trembled at the last sentence. She looked at me, no pity, no smypathy just one look an I describable look.
"What do you mean but a see saw" she asked softly luring me in to let it all out. So I did.
"one mintue I'm strong, no one in the world can hurt me the next I'm broken even when some one shoves into to me I break down, it's like I feel to strong like I'm not in the cycle anymore then the next I'm smashing my mirror, remembering what I thought I had got over. The darker side it reminding, telling me that I'm selfish that I shouldn't be happy, I shouldn't be over it then suddenly it vanishes and I know that I can't think like that. I'm up the down, I'm drowning letting the water wash over me then I'm swimming for survival. My grandad he saved me when I was drowning and he was fighting for his survival but he drowned for me, when I should saved myself. I didn't mean to run into the water but then it looked to inviting and calm, it reminded me of happiness and peace. I wanted to swim in that stunning blue ocean, I wanted to be a dolphin just swim and travel and be free. I was tweleve and I didn't know that you can really be free, that's when I was daydreaming and it came out of no where, it paralysed me. Everything suddenly seemed dark.
The wave seemed like a shark, the sand seemed to be sinking, the sky turned grey my arms turned cold. My body felt frozen while my mind screamed for me, begged me to run, to do anything but I was a goner. The wave took me out like I wasn't even there. I was sinking, deep with in the darkness of that monster. No fish around to see me fall, nothing but my weak arms and the bubbles that came from me letting my breath out. I was going to die, all I thought about those three seconds that my life flashed before my eyes was my family. Then I was being dragged up into the light, where I could see the sun beating through the cold water and some man was swimming towards me, he grabbed from someone else's arms and swam up to the shore, I looked down to see who the other man was. It was my grandad, his leg trapped between two rocks, he pulled and pulled then stopped. He looked up at me and mouthed I love you before he shut his eyes.... His green eyes gone with life that they used to hold. Then I was in a life boat and they were flashing torches in my eyes. There though I was dying, I was hardly breathing and my eyes were lifeless. I felt dead. He was dead and it was my fault. I know now that the lifeguard jumped back in for my grandad, he brought his body on to the life boat and placed him next to me. He said he was long gone but I knew he wouldn't have been if wasn't my for my stupid dream of being free. Me and my grandad were so close so alike, and then the only difference between us was that I was breathing and he wasn't."
She already knew this story, I had told her already many times but she still listened like it was her first. I paused for a minute looking out the window as she looked at me with a sad smile. Standing up and walking to the glass doors which revealed the outdoors, I began to speak again. "And after that my life started falling apart, the father that called me Kara bear wouldn't look at me, the mother who baked me brownies wouldn't talk to me, the sister I played dress up with hated me and the brother that loved me left me alone in the hardest time. It was all my fault, I brought this on myself. Even though Colby has started talking to me, it still doesn't feel right. My parents, they do buy me clothes and even a car but its just to make them seem like good parents. I felt so alone. No one to love me, no one to care for me." Before I could say anything else she butted in " Kara honey here's a glass of water" she had obviously noticed my body tensing up from these horrible memories. I took a tiny sip not able to swallow it as my throat felt like it was clogging up.
I picked up my phone checking the time, oh my god it's nearly 8. I'm gonna have to go home because knowing Danny, he will probably interrogate me to death.
" umm.. I have to go can I come back next week" I explained.
"Of course Kara but you need to make sure you come next week it's very important" she replied with a concerned voice. I nodded and walked out the room hopin everyone else would still be in deep slumber so I wouldn't have another mental breakdown.