Austin's POV:
Austin sat on his bed, his lips still, cracked, without the words that he wanted to cry out. His eyes wet, red, with the tears that weren't enough to express what he wanted to. His ears had seemed to stop working, unable to hear his radio by his bedside. The irony of this moment, was the rain beating down on his roof; the pitter-patter of small droplets streaming down the window.
With knees tucked up to his chest, and meaty arms holding his thick thighs close, Austin dropped his head in defeat; he was done with the things that were going on in his life. The others... They didn't care; they were the "in-crowd", and life was great for them.
Maybe not as much as for Jennifer, or Bridget, or the girl in the back of every class of his - Deborah, that was her name. Jennifer had her dyslexia, sure; but did that stop her from dating the "#1 Cutest Guy in School"?
Sure, Bridget had a poor home behind her, probably rags for beds and crumbs for meals, but didn't she have a wholesome, loving family to go home to? A mother and father to hug her every night, and "I love you"'s being passed around like stuffing at Thanksgiving?
The harsh whispers that hide in the shadows, though, are about "that girl Deborah". Austin has heard so many things, he could be her best friend - and by what he's heard, he wants to. Austin's life was hard; his father leaving a loving family for a mistress and the desert, having no friends to hold onto at school, and the weight that affects him no matter what he does.
But Deborah had it hard, too; Austin's heard that her father was beating her, that he was arrested for doing such things for so long. Her mother wasn't home, working full-time for 7 days a week. Austin could imagine it all; getting up every morning, and having to face another painful day, and wanting to cry; but you can't, because weakness only causes more pain. So you come to school, hoping for arms to break down into, someone to hug and love - but no one is there.
Tears streamed down Austin's chubby cheeks, too fast and heavy to stop; not that he was going to try to. In the other room, Austin could hear his mother crying too - she'd been in shambles for 3 weeks now, since Mr. Millard had walked his black, leather shoes out of the front door.
The rain had since ceased to fall, but the dampness outside made his room seem humid; the sky growing dark with the clouds of another storm, and the fingers of night reaching up to take control. Austin, also, had refused crying a while ago, but now his radio could be heard since the rain died down. 'Iris' by the Goo Goo Dolls sang softly around the insulated room, the sound wafting around the room to wrap around Austin.
"And I don't want the world to see me;
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand,
When everything's meant to be broken -
I just want you to know who I am...
...just want you to know who I am..."
How fitting was this song? Right now, to Austin, it seemed the world was mourning with him. It felt good, like someone older was rubbing his back, murmuring 'It will be okay. It's going to be fine, now.' But in reality, no one was there, and Austin began to feel more alone than before.
* * *
School the next day rolled around, and Austin didn't want to get up. It wasn't that he was tired, no - he'd cried himself to sleep at 7 PM yesterday, so he had plenty of sleep.
He didn't want to go because there would be no one there for him, and he needed someone now. Yet, even with his mother in shambles, she still made sure that he went to school. It was raining again today, so Austin's mom drove him to the bus stop, where they got to wait in a warm car until the bus pulled up with squealing brakes.
"'Bye, Austin. Love you." Austin's mom mumbled, keeping her gaze locked onto the steering wheel; she wasn't quite here anymore, if you understand. Austin gave a swift nod of the head, before realizing she wasn't looking.
"See you later, Mom. I love you, too." Austin replied, with a slight cold shoulder. Sure, he meant the words, but his mother's detached-ness was getting old, and Austin wanted his mother to be his Mom again.
Clambering onto the bus, Austin whirled into one of the front seats, so that he never had to deal with the loud, migraine-giving students in the back. They always picked on him, shoved him (if they could), tripped him, and threw paper balls at him.
Sitting in the front gave him the advantage, because it was then a short trip to get to his seat, and a short trip off of the bus. At the seat he was at, he also couldn't be tripped to easily, unless one of them sat in the 3 rows in front of him - but they normally didn't.
Tittering of girls from behind him made Austin's head whirl around, to find himself eye to eye with Simone. Oh God, please let this bus ride seem short.
"Hey, big boy." Simone cooed, but Austin shifted in his seat with his back to the annoying brunette. He heard a scoff from behind, and Austin smirked; was she really that offended that he didn't drool over her?
"I think you mean, 'Hey, big boy.'" The girl with red hair squeaked from behind Austin, before spilling into a fit of giggles. He clenched his jaw, and tried to blink away the tears pricking in the corners of his eyes. You can fight this, A voice grumbled from within him; it sounded like his father. You are worth so much more than them.
Austin turned back to them, a fire raging in his dark green eyes. But when his lips parted to speak, it wasn't his voice that came out.
"Oh give it up, Theresa. At least he could spell 'big'." A voice bubbled up from the aisle behind Austin, and he turned to see who it was.
Dark skinned, bruises were all over her skin like warts. Dark brown eyes glared deep into the red-head's own blue ones, with such a hate that if looks could kill, she'd be dead. Dark hair was in a smooth ponytail sleeked against her head.
The girl was pretty; but not quite like Jennifer.
Before Austin could speak, the girl had plopped herself into the vinyl seat, next to Austin. Austin himself was seated next to the window, so that there was room for her.
The red-head, who Austin guessed was Theresa, piped up again, once the African-American girl seated herself next to Austin. "Wow, Debby, I wouldn't have guessed that both of you could fit into one seat! It's a Guiness World Record!" Theresa laughed really hard after saying that, and Simone's throaty laugh echoed too, through the bus and the girl next to Austin rolled her eyes.
Austin shrunk down into the seat - even further down than before, if it were possible. Squeezing his eyes shut was his best defense move, not wanting to be caught in the middle of it.
"You know my name's not Debby, so why do you use it? Is it easier to speak than 'Deborah'?" The girl next to Austin spoke with a challenge. Wait, this was Deborah? The Deborah? "But shouldn't you be used to using your mouth more than you normally should?" Deborah spat, and Austin grinned at her come back.
Theresa gave an evil grin, much like the Cheshire Cat. "No, because you remind me of Little Debby, with how much you eat that stuff," A wink was thrown to Deborah with a pat to her own tummy, and Deborah balled her fists in frustration. Theresa kept going. "Oh look! Now she's just like her daddy! You know what they say, 'Like father, like daughter!'" Deborah puffed out her cheeks, unclenched her fists, and turned to face the front of the bus again.
Austin could tell her father was a sore point to Deborah, and tried to keep from prying into her business; his respect left him, and curiousity got the best of him. "Do you want to talk about it?" Austin inquired, cocking his head to the side.
Deborah's head turned to Austin so fast, you'd think she'd gotten whiplash from it. "Do you honestly care?" She spat, and Austin felt himself wanting to melt into the green vinyl seat again. Deborah noticed this, and softened her gaze. "Well, I honestly loved my father. But, it was when he was drunk, you know? The alcohol was in his system, and the emotions inside of him were a turrent. His own family had fallen apart, and it gets to you, you know? When your family breaks apart, it's hard to live down... it's hard to forgive, or even love."
Should Austin mention his own parents? Austin had only known her for these five minutes, but all of the rumors made him feel like he could trust her. "Yeah, I get what you mean," Austin murmured, keeping his voice low from Theresa and Simone. "My dad walked out of my life only 3 weeks ago." A sharp breath being taken in by Deborah caught Austin by surprise. Did she honestly care about Austin's family?
"I'm so sorry," Deborah breathed out, sorrow brimming in those big, brown eyes. "But since we're spilling our guts right now, I have to introduce myself. Hi, I'm Deborah James. What's your name?" She stuck out a scarred hand, old cuts out for him to see, in a handshake.
Austin took her small, frail hand into his big, meaty paw of a hand, and shook. A smirk crept up on his lips, and he spoke just as loudly and proudly as she had. "I'm Austin Millards," While feeling proud and outgoing, he added: "And I think, that we will be good friends."
Deborah gave Austin a sly smile.
"Agreed."
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Well, the beginning of the chapter was REALLY depressing, but that was because i was pissy today. OOPS! bad language. sorry; but still, nothing seemed to go right today... or at all thisweek, i might add.
earlier in the week, i almost lost my retainers, b/c i got my braces off two mnths ago(about $300 right there). then i got to choose which high schoool i want, and half my friends are mad cuz i didnt choose the school they going to. my DAD got mad at me for not choosing that high school too, and disowned me and my mom(cuz she agreed w/ me) so i read my moms texts and she'd threatened a divorce on him. also my sister and i fought like we do every week, but this was big. and she got sick so i had to carry her stuff to her teachers at school for two days. THEN i got up late this morning, and planned for a shower so it was cold and quick. then in math, one of the classmates was teaching and had no idea what he was doing, so i got lost and confused on the huge homework assignment. and my sister and mom fought this afternoon (again), and my mom walked out of the house crying....
SO. that's my life... about every week. HOw's life back at your house? i hope it's not THAT bad. Andddd, guess what else happens to be this week? Mother's day?! Yeah, but i swear now every mother's day depressing for me, cuz on May 12th it'll be one year since my grandmother died! yeahhh.
SORRYYY for the long note, but if you read the whole thing, you are amazingness and i hope you liked this chapter. XD AND, on the side is "Iris" by the Goo Goo Dolls if you havent heard it. Byeeeeeeee lovely dovely'ss <'3>