Post your reactions as your read ;)
While a fit of laughter took over Zayn, he felt her tensed the moment it dawned on her that she was in his arms. Zayn ignored it. This was once in a million chance and he was not going to just let it go to waste. While she growled at him to move away, Zayn took his sweet time, hoping that the joke of it all would keep her calm. He held her small frame just a little longer and gave it a tight squeeze before letting go.
Zayn thought the most she would do is shove him some more, or yell at him. He was hoping he would get a rise out of her - which might even result in her shouting some profanities at him. It would have been really entertaining to hear her curse when she always lectured him for it. He already had a counter argument prepared in his head for any of the accusations she was going to explode in his face. He was not, however, prepared for what she did the moment Zayn released her from his grip.
Salma did not attack him, physically or verbally, like he thought she would. She attacked him emotionally. Slumping on the wooden floor, he heard her gasping for breath as she choked on her own tears.
"Bee!" he cried in alarmed. "Damn! I'm sorry. I - I didn't mean to, I lost my balance!"
She kept crying, her sobs growing louder and more hysterical. Zayn crouched next to her, biting his tongue not to curse. He could not risk to offend her further right now, however, unprepared as he was, he had no idea what to do.
"Hey! Shh! Listen to me. It's not your fault, yeah? It's not your fault. You can tell your God it was me. Tell Him Zayn messed up. I stood up like an idiot and lost my footing. Tell Him that!" He desperately tried to console her, saying all kind of stupid stuff he suspected she was bawling over.
"Hell! If he's God, He must know already," he muttered under breath, before turning to her again, "Oh, Come on! Bee, it's okay."
Salma pulled her knees to her chest, trying to muffle her loud hiccups with her hand. Zayn clenched his fist. To his surprised, he realized her reaction angered him just as much as it made his heart ache to see her cry. Trying not to snap at her for over reacting, he reached for her knee.
"I'm serious! Bee, I didn't mean to - "
Zayn was cut short when she scrambled away from his touch like he was some sort of a disease. Her shoulders shook violently as she kept sobbing. Back to the wall, she sat with her arms around her knees and her head dug behind them. She barely spared him another glance. Zayn was finding it hard to control his temper. This was uncalled for.
If she were to show her displeasure by yelling or shoving him away, Zayn would not have minded. Heck! Not that he would allow, but even if she were to slap him to remind him he had crossed a line, Zayn would have taken it better. He would have been mad, but not like this. Her, sitting with her head down, sobbing uncontrollably and acting like a victim made him feel sick to his stomach. And because he was certain his 'crime' should not call for such a reaction, Zayn was getting defensive and angry.
"They consider themselves superior to everyone. The only pure ones." The less than pleasant piece of information struck his mind again. "To them we are impure and inferior."
Zayn attempted to shut that voice down, but try as he may, he felt the bitterness seep into his bones regardless.
He just gave her a hug! Zayn thought angrily. One, damn, harmless hug! And she was acting like he had threatened to kill her family to force her in a bed with him. Like hell! Her treating him like a pervert for a simple, polite gesture was simply offensive. It was not even a hug, to be fair. He barely pulled her into that embrace. She was already in his arms and he was only guilty of holding her closer for a split second before letting go. He be damned if he ever truly apologized for that. He thought she needed to learn to be socially less awkward.
Yet, when he opened his mouth again, he could not bring himself to call her out on it. Perhaps, because deep down inside, he knew she was going to react this way. That her reaction was justified even if he did not understand it.
"Hey," Zayn called her softly. "I didn't mean to hurt you, yeah? It was an accident."
Salma said nothing. She either ignored him, or probably didn't hear him at all. Zayn sighed.
"You're obviously shaken, given your no contact rule and all," he continued, "So I'll leave you be to compose yourself, but I just want you to remember, what happened was not your doing, and I did not mean to do that. I lost my balance. Honest."
Like hell I am! He added in his head angrily.
Shooing that thought away, Zayn ignored the fact that he was not being completely honest with her as he backed away to leave her be. He had very much meant what he had done, and he had no intentions of letting her know that. He wanted to give her a friendly hug and so he did it.
***
Salma watched the sky bleed a pinkish orange as the sun set behind the mountains. She was in no mood to go back to the shelter but it was getting dark and a chilly wind had picked up about an hour ago. She was shivering uncontrollably as she sat huddled by the tree near the stream, in just her long sleeved shirt and tights. Her nails had turned blue and she could barely feel her fingers. The fact that she had taken a bath - and washed her mud clad clothes - did not help her case at all.
When the sky turned purple, Salma knew she had little choice. Forcing her numb butt off the ground, she picked up her now clean clothes and scarf where she had left them to dry. Pulling her dress and abaya over her cold body and pinning her scarf in place, Salma starting walking back to the shelter with a heavy heart.
She was not sure what to expect of Zayn, or herself now. What happened a few hours ago was so inappropriate. Her throat constricted painfully, and her stomach churned just by thinking about it. For the past couple of hours, she had been pathetically crying, and consoling herself, and then crying some more.
She felt violated, and the fact that Zayn did not understand that, made it all the more complicated. The stark difference in their approach to the concept of modesty did not make it any easier. Did Zayn pull her closer on purpose, or was it an honest mistake? It was the core question, to which, she had no answer. Whereas Zayn insisted on the latter, Salma's mind was quite adamant on the former.
Taking in a few deep breaths to calm down, Salma willed herself to stay composed. It was embarrassing enough that Zayn had seen her at her most vulnerable a couple of times already. She did not want to start weeping like a child again. Determined to put up a strong front, Salma tried to distract herself by focusing on the eerie silence in the now dark forest.
It was nerve wrecking walking through the trees at dusk. Ever since she came across those footprints, Salma was scared to venture the forest in the dark when she could barely see five feet ahead of her. Her coming across signs that indicated human presence should have been comforting. It could mean help, but for some reason, her gut feeling said otherwise.
Threading her way through the trees, she let out a breath of relief when she reached the clearing. At the same time, her body tensed at the prospect of encountering Zayn. Salma dreaded explaining her complete emotional meltdown earlier. She was clueless how things would go between them from this point on.
"BOOH!"
Salma jumped away from her rock, managing to stifle her scream just in time when she saw Zayn double up in laughter. Not amused, Salma glared at him, forgetting her previous awkward encounter for a moment.
"Your face!" He laughed.
Salma scowled at his laughter and his idiocy alike. He couldn't even see her face!
"What are you doing here?" she snapped.
Eyeing his now encased leg and the stick, Salma questioned her decision of awarding him with the gear that helped him move about so freely. Perhaps, it was better for her when he was shackled to the veranda.
"Look at you." He smirked, eyeing her up and down, taking full notice of the absence of several layers of dirt on her dress. "All clean and fresh and here I am, smelling like a fish, but then again, I'm gorgeous enough to make up for the slight imperfections, don't you think?"
Salma noted the humor in his voice, but she was still not sure if she should buy into his act of indifference. He was pretending like earlier never happen. The complete ease with which he was messing about with her, made her question her suspicions and reaffirmed his claim of being innocent, but she tried to keep her defenses up in any case.
Eyeing him distrustfully, Salma maintained a stern silence. His smirk vanished. The wind whipping around them blew through his dark hair, making it even messier.
"Someone's grumpy," Zayn commented, before turning around to head towards the veranda. When Salma did not follow immediately, he paused. "Are you coming or what?"
Salma ignored him, hoping that he would walk ahead. She did not trust him to be anywhere near her. Also, she did not want to speak to him at all. Although she believed in innocent until proven guilty, she also believed in not getting bitten by the same snake-hole twice. Not wanting to let her guard down so easily, Salma followed after him only after Zayn had taken a seat in the veranda. Making a firm decision of tearing him into two if he touched her again, Salma took her shoes off and climbed her bench to pray.
"You only visited the stream today, right?" Zayn's voice right behind her alerted her senses.
Salma raised an eyebrow at him, weighing him up. After a second or two of silent stare down contest, he suddenly pulled his face into a ridiculously adorable grin. Salma was caught off guard. Blinking, she took a step back uncertainly.
"What are you doing?" she asked, despite herself.
"Buttering," Zayn said, the grin still plastered on his face. "I messed up earlier, and now I'm asking questions, you look like you are about to explode. So,"
He gave her a show of his straight teeth again. His 'buttering' smile was so big, his eyes squinted close. Although, she was certain he was being sarcastic, Salma's grim façade broke a little. She bit her lips and tried to maintained her scowl.
"And this is supposed to work?" She scoffed.
"Hopefully, yeah," Zayn dropped the supposed 'buttering' smile, "So, you just visited the stream?"
"Of course! Where else would I go?" Salma rolled her eyes, thinking it wise to just answer him so he drops it. She was uneasily reminded of the slope she had been frequenting but she pushed that thought away.
"I don't know." He shrugged. "You totally disappeared. It almost made me think my dreams of you jumping off a cliff had been realized but looks like I'm stuck with you for while."
Zayn sighed moodily, feigning misery.
Jerk!
Glaring at him, to which he chuckled, Salma turned around to pray. She sat with her back to him after she was done praying. Zayn tried to get her into a conversation but it did not work.
"Bee?"
Ignored.
"Deaf Bee?"
No answer.
"Dumb and deaf Bee?"
Silence.
"Grumpy, dumb and deaf Bee - Alright! Alright, I'll shut up!" Zayn cried when Salma got up to leave. "It's dark outside," he reasoned, "I'm not keen on playing hide and seek right now."
Salma slumped back on her bench with her back firmly turned on him. She could feel the tension between them that hung heavily in the air after that. Rather, she could feel the tension on her mind weighing down on her. Zayn was being completely himself, annoying, rude, and a jerk. Salma had a feeling he would at least been a bit awkward, had he been guilty.
Although it was a big deal for her, Salma was hesitating to confront him dreading another argument. She knew it was unavoidable, but Zayn denied it and Salma was left with nothing to base her suspicions on. She was stuck with him, and they had to coexist - preferably peacefully. Salma just kept reminding herself to keep a safe and firm distance; physically, verbally, and emotionally.
However, it kept nagging her. What he might have done purposefully was unacceptable. Salma felt it was essential to ensure that he was aware of the boundaries.
"Zayn, did you do that on purpose?" Salma couldn't help but ask him that night, just after an uncomfortably silent dinner.
"Of course not!" Zayn cried vehemently, holding her gaze. "It was an accident."
Salma swallowed uneasily, not sure what to think anymore. Zayn did not even act like he didn't know what she was talking about. He straightaway denied it. So it did happen, Salma figured, it was not her imagination. Or was he talking about something else entirely? Like the fall, maybe?
"Just so you know," she began. "That would be the lowest you could possibly stoop to, in my opinion, if you ever did something like that deliberately."
A moment of silence followed. She saw a muscle in Zayn's jaw twitch. He was barely holding onto his calm. His amber eyes flashed in anger but Salma maintained eye contact, daring him say something. Like she said, this was not a small matter for her. Zayn needed to understand that.
"I would appreciate it if you could stop treating me like some pervert!" Zayn spoke through his gritted teeth. "I said it was an accident. Get over yourself!"
Salma took a step back. His last words were like a blow to the gut. Salma's throat constricted again. This is what she dreaded, to feel violated and judged.
"Look, I'm sorry, okay," Zayn added in a softer tone. "I did not mean it like that, but you need to stop over reacting."
Again, his words stabbed her. Salma was not overreacting, but he would not understand that, would he? How would he comprehend that her body and being were like a sacred trust she was not willing to betray. It was not created for every man to hold. Where others may not think twice, and let people in without much thought, she was not like that. She was not his to embrace. She lived by a different code. He should have respected that.
Zayn sighed.
"It won't happen again," he said so quietly, Salma barely heard him, "I know it's your religious thing, I respect that, but you can't hold against me what I had no control over."
Biting the inside of her cheek, Salma tried to calm down. He was right. It was not like he could have planned the whole fall. Salma's confidence in the notion that he deliberately pulled her closer was quickly faltering. She felt a bit embarrassed when she realized her messed up emotions were clouding her judgement. Zayn did not seem like a person who would deny it, anyway, Salma thought, If he had done it on purpose, he would have rubbed it her face for sure.
"Alright," she managed a hoarse whisper.
Zayn relaxed, releasing a slow breath in relief, trying his best to disregard the guilty pinch in his gut.
"Are you okay, though?" he asked, eyeing Salma with concern.
Swallowing, she nodded silently and left.
She was not, Salma realized, but now that she had had this talk with him, she knew she would be.
Author's Note:
Someone not being truthful . . . :D
Please Pledge a small amount and become a patron of creative journey of Lost.
https://www.patreon.com/BrekhnaJohar
Anyway, Please make sure you vote, comment your thoughts, and share this story around ;). I might post another quick update if I feel the heat from my notifications exploding due to vote and comment storms ;)
Also, point out at least one thing you DON'T like in the story so far. You can PM me, if you wish, you sneaky Losties xD
Lots of Love,
J.