After Alec had walked away from him in the park, Magnus sulked home.
What have I done? Magnus thought.
He went home, the faerie was gone. There was a leaf on the kitchen table with sloppy handwriting on it.
Apparently the faerie left his phone number for Magnus. He threw the leaf down, just as a soft knock came from the door. Alec! Magnus thought, rushing to the door. Instead it was just Jace.
"Hello. I've come to inform you that I'm going to kill you." Jace said.
Isabelle stepped past Magnus, into the loft. He hadn't bothered to clean up the garbage from the party; cups and plates still littered the floor.
"I don't know how it happened. He just kept handing me drinks I..." Magnus trailed off as Jace stepped inside as well.
"I think you missed a spot while cleaning." Isabelle remarked, kicking a glass toward the wall with the tip of her boot, making it shatter.
Magnus didn't seem to notice.
"Can you please tell Alec that I'm sorry?" he turned to Jace.
"He won't answer my calls, and-"
"He broke his phone when you tried to call him." Magnus sunk down in the hot pink leather chair in the corner.
"I didn't mean to, I just-" but he broke off when there was a seraph blade at his throat.
"You hurt my Parabatai. My brother. Why should I believe you?" Jace snarled.
Magnus flinched. "I love Alec. I really do." Magnus said quietly.
Isabelle shook her head and chuckled.
"You love him? Doesn't sound like you love him that much." Magnus stayed silent for a moment. And the simply said, "I do."
Jace stepped back. "I'll get Alec to central park tomorrow at 3. I can get him there, but I can't get him to talk to you."
Magnus looked up, his eyes shining from tears that he was trying desperately to hold back.
"Thank you. Thank you so much, Jace." Jace didn't say anything in return.
Isabelle turned to Magnus one last time before walking out the door.
"Alec really loves you, you know."
☆☆☆
Magnus looked at himself in the mirror. His eyes were rimmed red, and his face was puffy from crying. His usual colorful spiky hair was flat and plain black. He washed his face once again, and walked out the door.
In central park, Magnus checked the time. His watch read two o'clock.
Great. He thought. I'm an hour early. Don't seem that desperate! But he was that desperate. He needed Alec. Alec was his rock, his anchor. And now, he'd ruined everything. Would Alec ever forgive him? Maybe not.
Magnus slumped down against a boulder, trying to think about something other than Alec. But Alec's face when he'd seen Magnus kept replaying in his mind. Betrayal, hurt, anger, were all things that Magnus could see just in those blue eyes.
Alec had to forgive him. Had too. I can't do it without him. I just-can't. Magnus thought.
It was hard being immortal. Knowing that endless stretches of time lay before you; life got boring, or repetitive. But Alec. Alec was what kept Magnus going; he felt...empty, before Alec came. Those vast stretches of time seemed so daunting that Magnus had researched for weeks ways to take away his immortality, multiple times. He'd wished countless times that he hadn't been born what he was; but instead had died at old age like a normal person. If, if I was a normal person, Magnus thought grimly, Mother would not have... left, and father wouldn't have tried to drown me. Magnus knew wishing for something did no good, but it's all he could do.
But then, he met Alec. Alec was like a light shining in the deepest darkest pit of hell, a glass of water being handed to you after weeks in the Sahara.
When Magnus saw Alec Lightwood the first day, when Clary had come to meet him, he couldn't take his eyes off the young Shadowhunter.
And one thing that drew Magnus to Alec was that he was so different from Jace, his parabatai. Jace was cocky, arrogant, and used his looks, charisma, and charm to get what he wanted. And if he wanted to, Alec could get anything he wanted. With those striking looks of his, raven hair and deep blue eyes, girls always gawked at him on the street, guys too. But Alec didn't even notice them. And he was so intelligent. So shy, so caring.
Magnus wiped tears from his eyes quickly. Alec shouldn't see him cry. Checking his watch, it had only been fifteen minutes. He stood up to go get coffee. Sure, he could just have it appear out of thin air, but Magnus had a lot of time to kill.
☆☆☆
"Why are you dragging me out here?" Alec nearly yelled, startling a group of pigeons nearby as they burst into a frenzy of wings and beaks.
"Because." Jace said. "You've been sulking in your room for the past 24 hours."
"I have a right to sulk." Alec shot back.
They had emerged in a clearing covered in grass below a canopy of trees. Jace stopped in the middle of the clearing.
"What are we-" Alec began to ask, but the figure of a man emerged from the shadow of the trees. Alec turned to stomp away, but Jace turned and grabbed his arm. "Alec." he said, and their eyes met. There was a hidden communication behind those eyes, that only Alec could decipher. Maybe it was part of being parabatai, or maybe it was something more.
Alec turned around, reluctantly. He didn't meet Magnus' eyes.
"Alec." Magnus nearly whispered the word. Alec didn't react. He had his eyes fixed on a tree root at his feet. Jace walked away quietly, leaving the two alone.
"Alec." Magnus said quietly again, his voice sounded pleading.
This time Alec looked up, his eyes shining. "How could you?" he said, a tear rolling down his cheek. Those words shattered Magnus to pieces. He knew how much he had hurt Alec; and he couldn't stand it. His voice was hoarse; Magnus knew that's how it got when he had cried before, or if Alec was about to cry.
"Alec-I-look-" Magnus stuttered.
"Don't."Alec school his head. "There's nothing you could say that can change what you did."
"I-I know. Please, just let me explain what happened. Please."
Alec didn't say anything, just looked up at Magnus across the clearing. Magnus took a breath.
"It wasn't supposed to happened-at all. The faerie- he handed me a drink, and I thought, it's just a drink. And then everything was different, I, I couldn't think straight. The faerie, he put something in the drink, I didn't know..." Magnus trailed off.
"And you wonder why I hate you having those parties. I knew this would happen-I knew it!" Alec cursed himself silently.
"Alec, please. You have to forgive me." Magnus took a step forward, but Alec took one back.
"I, I can't Magnus." Alec turned and walked away from Magnus, until he finally faded out of view.
☆☆☆
Alec walked back to the Institute, figuring Jace was already there. He couldn't find him in the park; not that he had looked all that hard.
Shrugging off his coat and throwing it on the bed and slipping off his shoes as he did so, Alec shut the door. He crawled into bed, after throwing off his shirt, still wearing his jeans.
He didn't sleep though. He just kept replaying everything, staring blankly at a wall.
Magnus' face when Alec walked away from him today was something that kept popping into Alec's head. He looked and sounded - vulnerable. Alec realized with a start. He had always known Magnus as confident and outgoing, never scared about anything. And seeing him feel so small... Was Magnus really, truly sorry? Alec thought.
That doesn't matter, though. He still did what he did. But Alec wanted to forgive him so bad... but this wasn't the kind of thing you just forgive!
Alec scolded himself silently. There was a knock on the window, and Alec jumped from the bed and immediately went into Shadowhunter mode.
Grabbing a throwing knife from the desk, Alec creeped toward the window. Pulling his hand back, he brushed a curtain aside, which was blowing in the breeze.
A face appeared at the window.
"Alec." Magnus said. Realizing who it was, Alec spun around, away from Magnus and threw the knife. It hit the wall, the hilt protruding from the
dry-wall.
"What do you want?" Alec faced Magnus, who was now standing in the room.
"I can't be without you." Magnus bit his lip.
"I need you. More than I've ever needed anything." Alec stared at Magnus blankly.
"Please forgive me." Alec stared at him what felt like a century, each second hurting Magnus more and more.
The words he spoke pained Alec to say. He needed Magnus too. But that didn't make up for what Magnus did. It didn't change what Magnus did, either.
"I can't."
Hey! 1,522 words! New personal record!