You know your heart is crushing when you see someone you have mixed feelings for get dressed for a date, and not only a date, but the person you're crushing over is someone who is a weirdo. I tried to stay angry at Oakley but it was worthless when it took a few hours to get him to stay in my house.
I hated the fact that Oakley was going on a date with Mica without telling or asking me for my opinion but I didn't want to make him sad. I almost let the fact that Mica actually does like Oakley and doesn't want to get in his pants but I erased that thought and knew Mica more than anyone else. Hell, Aggie only knew that my mother was dead. Actually, everyone in the neighborhood knew she was dead.
I watched Oakley take off a blue shirt and throw it on the floor, huffing in frustration. He picked up five outfits but decided that it was too "ugly" or "not enough" to show himself. I stared at his pale skin that had beauty marks scattered on his shoulders and freckles on his stomach. He didn't look half bad.
"Why don't you just go like that? I'm sure you want him to see you naked," I half joked. I didn't want to rain on Oakley's parade because I seriously wanted to make him happy. But the aching in my heart was telling me otherwise.
Oakley blushed and chucked a random shirt at me. "No, Tate. I don't like showing my body, it's awkward."
It's perfect.
I shrugged. "Whatever. Just pick something."
"Do you think he likes black?" Oakley asked and picked up a black shirt.
"Yes," I said quickly. I wanted to punch myself on the face. Why did I tell Oakley his favorite color when black makes everyone look bad ass? Mica knew I hated black with a passion and tried to tone down the color of his outfits but it didn't work out so well. He said, and I quote, "I look like a fucking crayon with rainbow shit on." Oakley beamed and put on a baggy black shirt that showed off his shoulders and collarbones.
Oh why does he look innocent in bad ass clothes? He wasn't even trying.
Oakley put black skinny jeans and converse and made his hair wild by shaking his head. He tugged on sleeves and stared at the floor like it was the most interesting thing on earth.
He bit his bottom lip and asked sweetly, "How do I look?"
Darkness surrounded him but he was the light that made everything radiant.
I swallowed harshly and looked away, ignoring the itch to touch him and kiss his delicate shoulders and collarbones. It was the lust that was taking over, the emotion that I loved when it came and it always felt good when it was scratched but looking at Oakley and taking his body...it was different. And that frightened me.
"You look good," I mumbled. I looked back at him and saw him looking at his phone."What time does Mica come and get you?"
Oakley looked up and said, "He said he will be here at seven but there's traffic."
I nodded and got up from the bed. I bended down and grabbed the clothes that were around my room and placed them on the bed. Oakley grabbed one of my shirts and tilted his head. "Momma's boy?" He giggled and looked at me. "It's pink too." I snatched the pink shirt and randomly threw it somewhere in my room.
"Don't laugh," I snapped. I immediately felt horrible for snapping at Oakley when he was only joking around. I was going to apologize when he giggled again. "Aw, you're blushing. It's kind of cute," he said and smiled brightly.
"I—I'm not blushing. The fuck are you talking about?" I snapped again but felt heat on my cheeks. Maybe I was blushing or not but I didn't care. Having Oakley giggle and smile around me made my heart warm because I was the caused of that. Oakley pinched my cheeks and sat on my bed. I sat next to him and we sat in silence. I decided to text Aggie and sent her a small paragraph why I'm sorry again and that I needed her help. Thankfully, she answered back.
I picked up the phone and said, "Hello?"
"Hey Tate. Remember when I told you about you being jealous?" She said.
I raised an eyebrow and glanced at Oakley. "It's getting better," I lied. "I just need help with my homework."
Aggie hummed and movement was heard. I waited patiently as she started talking to her mother.
"Hey, who are you talking to?" Oakley said curiously.
"Just Aggie. I think you'll like her," I replied.
"Like have sex with her?"
I chuckled and shook my head. "No, not have sex with her. And don't worry about having sex with girls or anyone. Just live your life, okay?"
Oakley stared shockingly at me. His jaw dropped and he was stuttering out words. I was puzzled why he was like that when I realized what I said. Just think about life? Life was sex and alcohol. Sex was heaven and alcohol was drugs. It was one hell of a life I had but Oakley shouldn't have the life. He doesn't need to know sex so quickly, he doesn't need to know the bitter taste of beer and the burning taste of vodka.
I frowned when I thought about the time when I took Oakley's virginity only because I was horny little shit. My frowned deepened when I Oakley gave me a hand job and I let him when I could had told him again and again to leave it alone. It felt like I was taking advantage of Oakley but...wasn't that I wanted?
I was the one who gave the pleasure and he loved it. I was the one who wanted to be alone. I was the one who wanted him to have sex with a girl so he wouldn't be around me. I wanted him to back off because he was clingy fuck but realized he just wanted to be near me. I had everything wrong.
And now I wanted to be near him.
"What restaurant are you going to?" I asked, changing the subject.
Oakley closed his mouth and smiled softly. "He wanted to go to a Chinese restaurant but I told him pizza was better because you and Curtis eat it a lot."
He thought of us as a family.
The door bell rang and Oakley jumped and ran out of the room. I sighed and dragged my sad body out of my room and downstairs. I sat down at the last step of the stairs and saw Oakley fixing his black shirt and shook out his hair.
Before he opened the door, I called out, "You look great. Don't worry."
He flashed me a smile and opened the door. Mica smiled at Oakley but when his eyes went to me, his smile flattered but not so much. He gave Oakley a bouquet of roses and kissed his cheek.
"Oh my god, Mica! I love them so much! Thank you!" Oakley exclaimed and turned around and went to the kitchen. He placed the roses on kitchen counter and rushed back to Mica. Mica grabbed Oakley's hand and pulled him away from the door. Oakley looked over his shoulder and shouted, "Bye Tate!"
I saluted to him and stood up. I walked to the door and watched them get inside Mica's black car and drove away. I felt my heart slowly drop to the pitch of my stomach. I leaned my shoulder on the side of the door and sighed tiredly. I so badly wanted to rip Mica's hand from his body. I so badly wanted to tell Oakley to stay home and don't go on a date with a player. But I told him to live his life and it started when he went on the date. I stared up at the spot that they were and placed my phone on my ear.
"Hello?" I asked. I tried to cover the sadness in my voice. Maybe she ended the call.
"What happened? Why do you sound so sad?" Aggie said worriedly.
I didn't expect her to be on the phone still. "When I said I needed help, I needed help on making Oakley like me."
"Like you?" She gasped. "Is he going on a date with Mica?"
I furrowed my eyebrows. "How do you know?"
"Because Oakley said Mica and he sounded excited about something. I also heard you say he looks great so he must be going on a date."
"Well, he could be hanging out with Mica, not go on a date."
Aggie snorted. "Mica is basically a player. What makes you think he likes going on dates?"
What makes you think I could be the one for Oakley? I was way worse than Mica.
I sighed. "Okay, I give up. He is on a date with Mica and I feel so shitty. I don't want this date to happen."
"Tate, I know it sucks that you're not going on a date with Oakley but you can't stop the date. It's happening. Maybe you can take Oakley on a date tomorrow?"
I frowned but then a smile slowly started to form on my face. "Aggie, you're so smart!"
"Wait, what? I thought you would be angry?" She said and let out a small chuckle.
"I can take Oakley on a date, but I can stop the date, too."
"WHAT?! NO!" Aggie screamed. I grabbed inside my house and grabbed my keys from the counter. I looked at the roses that were on the counter and made a note to go to the flower shop.
"Tate, don't you dare stop that date. Oakley will be pissed at you," Aggie said angrily. I rolled my eyes and closed the door behind me. I couldn't sit around and sulk, I could but what's the point in that, and realize that my crush was on a date with a player. I wasn't any better but I was slowly changing for him. Because he was worth making Curtis happier and if he stayed longer, he will make Curtis feel like it was home. I clicked my tongue when I didn't know which pizza parole Oakley and Mica were going to.
"TATE!" Aggie screamed again.
"Where's the new pizza parole?" I asked quickly.
"Tate, I'm not—"
"Just answer the fucking question!" I barked.
Aggie sighed loudly and told me the address. I told her thank you and ended the call. I jogged to the pizza place and started to feel my heart was filled with hope. Hope that Oakley was going to happy that I was boyfriend material. Hope that he was going on a date with the wrong person.
The hope that filled in my heart turned into ice cold hatred.
~~~~~~
hola guys! school is kicking ass and I've been making edits and posting them on my IG so it's been okay-ish. anyway, the picture up or on the slide is the shirt that Oakley is wearing. I couldn't find a black one or a man on it. I tried kellin Quinn but nothing. I'm sorry if you think tate's feelings are confusing and it is. it sounds like he dropping everything for Oakley because he is and it's all because of a crush he has on Oakley. more drama will be coming so stay tune. this book will have about thirty to thirty five chapters, i'm not sure yet. hope everything is fine for you and have a great day!
words: 1,833
#stayalive