Winston
He stared at the horizon, the sky a deep purple blue as the sun disappeared for the day. He sighed and ran his large hand, covered with prominent veins over his barely there hair. He lied down on the fluttering grass and simply stared blankly. He rubbed his hand over his chest as a dull ache made its presence known. His large chest rose and fell unevenly as he struggled to keep his breath constant. He could only feel the soft presence of his wolf, faint but still there, still hopeful.
^I'm sorry. Winston sighed into his apology, his heart weeped silently into the growing night as he closed his eyes, willing his wolf to speak, to show any sign of life.
^It wasn't your fault. He had already tied himself to someone else. His wolf, Caesar, answered weakly.
^Yeah, but, I feel like I could have tried harder, you know? Convince him to move on. Winston could see it now, his smile, so hesitant but there nonetheless.
^It was a fresh wound, Winston, one to deep to heal. His wolf tried to comfort him, but it was futile, his wolf also needed comfort, one only his other half could provide, if he were there. They lapsed into silence, broken only by the sudden howl of the wind and the whispers of the trees. It was peaceful, balanced and calming. It was only the thought that ruined the serenity, the haunting truth, the nightmare which crept up to him at any given time and captured his thoughts and left with his soul.
The air was thick, the smell of metal filtered through his nose. His chest heaved up and down as he caught every bit of oxygen he could. His eyes scanned the area around the field, the bodies of dead rogues littered the ground and only one or two fallen warrior on their team. His Alpha stood strong and proud, a look of satisfaction on his strong features.
It was done.
The fight was over and all was well, and then he turned to face the rest of the pack who grinned tiredly but raised their fists in the air and cheered in victory. Another battle won, another victorious success and another loss. He stopped dead in his tracks as the familiar body crumpled before him, gurgled and spluttered out blood. Familiar green eyes stared up at him in pain.
"No! "He bellowed and ran, crashing onto his knees, close enough to the other man." No, "He grasped his head and held him as he spluttered and gasped, choking on his own metallic tasting blood."Ricardo," he whispered, and then the tears began to fall. "Why?" The man wheezed and weakly lifted his hand up and touched Winston's cheek.
"I'm sorry. " He struggled out, tears falling down Ricardo's face, turning a pale shade of red as they ran over the stained skin. Winston sniffed, his chest aching. Why would he do this? After being told to stay with the others, he came. Why?
"You shouldn't have come. You shouldn't have. "He whispered as he began rocking back and forth, Ricardo's face to his cheek. Winston sobbed softly and stared down at the face of his one and only other half." I can't live without you. "
He watched, transfixed as Ricardo's eyes dulled down, staring up at the sky with hope and Winston cried. How could this happen, why was destiny so cruel? He asked. He tightened his arms around him. His head snapped up as a strong and larger hand came onto his shoulder. He looked across the field to the parting crowd and he watched as his other Alpha emerged, dressed in black. Winston stood, grabbing Ricardo's limp and lifeless body in the his arms.
"Please," He choked on a sob. "Please, Alpha, save him. "He begged helplessly and was met with a frown and saddened blue eyes." Please, bring him back to me, Elijah, please." Silence answered and he turned to his other Alpha, much bigger than Elijah before turning. "I will do anything," he cried as he fell to his knees. He bowed his head in submission and hopelessness. Winston felt so useless, so incapable. His heart was breaking with each passing moment.
"I cannot give you what was never yours, Winston. "The soft echo of Elijah's voice said into his mind and he looked up in shock.
"What?" He whispered and Elijah gave a small sad smile.
"He wants to be with the one he loves, Winston, let him. "
Winston opened his grey eyes which were now glassy. The only prominent memory to date, the one most haunting memory he has ever had and will always have, one which has haunted him for the past four months. He turned onto his side and groaned as his stomach churned and the need to die became so strong, he shock as sweat began to gather on his forehead, arms and the rest of his body. He couldn't understand why his body acted this way if in fact Ricardo had never been his to begin with, his only solution was that in some way he,Winston, belonged to Ricardo like he was Ricardo's second chance mate. Winston groaned then as the air felt thin. He concluded that the only reason he was affected so badly by not being with his mate was because he was already 28, which was way older than the usual maximum age where wolves find their soulmates.
^You need to breath, Winston, breath. The soft hushed tone of his younger brother, Toby, instructed him as he began to struggle with his breathing.
^I...can't. He gasped and turned to lie on his back, his eyes wide.
^Winston, please, fight against this, you can do it. Please! Toby's panicked tone had Winston flinching and clenching his eyes closed, ignoring the burn of his chest.
^I am...trying. He breathed as he calmed, feeling tired. Didn't mean to scare anyone. He managed as his eye lids fluttered.
^Are you okay? It was small, barely heard by Winston as he surrendered to the darkness, allowing it to grasp him firmly.
:_:_:_:_:_:_:_:
The sun shone into his eyes as he blinked his eyes open slowly, allowing for them to adjust. His eyes were on the dark wooded ceiling he built himself and he turned his head to the window, the dark blue curtains were drawn. The peach coloured walls were blank, not a photo in sight. He turned to the door, brown with swirls curling into each other in another shade of brown. Its silver doorknob turned and opened and identical grey eyes peaked in. He gave a small smile at his younger brother who entered with a blush.
"Morning. " His voice was soft and smooth calming, like a warm blanket over the nerves of his body.
"Thank you for bringing me home." He nodded shyly, tucking some of his brown locks behind his ear.
"Don't mention it. "He bit his lip," Alpha Donovan would like to know if you will be able to make tonight's patrol. He wants to know if he should set up a replacement. " Winston sighed as his brother pursed his lips. He knew how much Toby hurt from Donovan, their alpha having found his mate in another but not too badly considering how it was just a crush and it would have never been possible anyway. Winston nodded his head.
"I will be there."
"I knew you would say that, I would like you to reconsider. "Toby said slowly and cautiously and Winston clenched his fists and his jaw.
"I am not invalid, Toby, just because I've hit a bump doesn't mean I'm not capable of anything."
"I wasn't saying you are invalid or incapable. I just think that you should take the time to perhaps find another ma-"
"No. " Winston said, his tone sharp and it held no room for argument and his younger brother slumped his shoulders.
"I knew you'd say that as well."
"Don't tell me you got reinforcement."
"I thought about it, but I knew it wouldn't be a good idea." Winston smirked at him.
"Good boy, "He cooed and sat up onto to be hit with a pillow. He blinked up at Toby.
"I am not a puppy." Winston's eyes shone with amusement.
"I never said you were. "
"Yes, but you still implied it." Winston stood to his full height, towering over Tony's small frame. Toby huffed and turned, "Breakfast is on the table, help yourself. If you need me I will be in town, you have my number." Winston got a T-shirt from the couch as he walked out following behind his brother.
"You've been spending an awful lot of time in town. "He commented and he didn't miss the blush which his brother developed either,"am I missing something? "He raised his brow and rubbed his chest.
"Breakfast, that is what you will miss if you keep yabbering about nonsense." Winston sat on the white kitchen counter, his eyes on his brother.
"It isn't nonsense if you are as red as a tomato. " Winston took a bite of the pancake as his brother rushed away while yelling: "Good-bye!" Then the door slammed shut. Winston chuckled and took a deep breath while looking up at the clock on the other side of the room. It was only 6:35 am. He hurriedly ate his breakfast, enjoying the taste of his brothers cooking. The boy ought of be a chef.
He got up, rinsed the dirty dishes and placed them into the dish washer and went to his bedroom.
He stripped off his cloths and put them into the hamper of dirty clothing be for heading for his bathroom and turning the shower on. The cool water glided down his massive body and he bowed his head, leveling his breathing as best he can. The presence of his wolf seemed to be evaporating faster as the days ticked by. He could only guess how much time he had until his time arrived. Like every other wolf who had lost his or her other half, he would meet his death as well, one way or the other. It always happened, it was enviable unless they found a reason to carry on which was a second chance, a second mate which was rare.
He tilted his head back, his head pounding and he leaned onto the rough tiled walls. It was strange, today it seemed particularly mild, by now he would have passed out, he would be in so much unbearable pain, he would be in the pack house infirmary. He shook his head and turned the water off after soaping up his body and rinsing down. He went into the bedroom, a towel wrapped around his waist, his caramel coloured body glistening with wet droplets of water, they trailed down his pink taunt nipples to his washboard abs and his delicious V line. He dropped the towel and took a pair of slack, running a towel over his head then dropping it on the bed he left the house.
Outside he breathed on the warm air and stretched, his bones began to crack pleasantly and the chocolate brown fur began to sprout and within seconds, in his place, stood his gorgeous wolf, his chest puffed out, his aura radiated authority and commanding but not as strongly as the Alpha, but close enough. He dug his paws into the soft ground, the grey slacks between his large canines. He bound off into the forest to the east side of the territory. His thunderous steps caused the earth to vibrate and nearby prey scurried off in the direction away from him. In this moment, Winston felt alive and free, better than ever. He held his large wolf head high and he enjoyed the cool breeze as he whipped through the trees to the edge of the territory. He came to a stop and shifted on the spot, his eyes squinting in the light and he put his pants on. He walked to the edge of the cliff. He glanced down at the narrow drop. Beautiful, really.
^It's been so long, old friend. Winston blinked as Alpha Donovan's strong aura made itself known. He straightened as he spoke.
^I apologise for that.
^Nonsense. How are you holding up? His tone is gentle and husky but distracted, Winston could feel the ping of unwanted jealousy at the thought of his friend and his son.
^I have been better. He answered truthfully, trying to keep a bored and nonchalant tone.
^I'm sure you have. Elijah would like to have you for lunch today. He smirked at the ambiguity of that sentence.
^Never took him for a cannibal. Winston closed his eyes and absorbed natures calm breeze while his Alpha and best friend gave a fake laugh, and a sarcastic reply:
^Very funny, you know what I mean. So, lunch today.
^Is that an order? He teased.
^If you refuse then it will be an order.
^I guess I can make lunch. He didn't really feel like it, but he also didn't want to be ordered to do it, Elijah wouldn't like that.
^Great, take care of yourself, remember, you're in charge of training the new warriors today.
^Of course, Alpha.
Winston shifted after stripping off his slacks and ran back into the forest, instead of going the way he came he took a turn and headed for the pack house which wasn't that far from his small homey cabin further into the woods. He could hear the laughs and giggles of the pack females and children and the loving exchange of the mated pairs as well as the excited chatter of the future warriors of the pack. He blinked, longing grasped at him, why couldn't he be that happy? Why couldn't he just move on and be with his pack, his family, why? And would it be possible? Was his reason for living out there somewhere? Would it find him? Was he even allowed to have one? A reason to carry on? He wondered sadly as he stood listening to the sounds around him. Would he be allowed to be happy?