Fifteen - 'Khamesh-'esrey'
'And now it's no ones fault but yours
At the foot of the house of cards
You thought you'd never get obsessed
You thought the wolves would be impressed
And you're a sinking stone
But you know what it's like to hold the jeweler's hand
That procession of pioneers all drowned' - The Jeweller's Hands, Arctic Monkeys
Nine years ago: 14 Sept, 2011
It'd been more than a month of friendship with Niall, two months and a half to be exact. And Ainsley wanted to tell him the real reason behind their friendship. But decided not to tell him, because she felt it didn't matter anymore since she eventually gave up on the plan. She'd lost all her friends in the process, except Chrissy of course, who stopped hanging out with them as well, in favour of Niall and Ainsley. Ainsley was walking towards the parking lot. Niall said that he had a surprise for her and not to board the bus. She texted her dad about hanging out with Niall and Chrissy, even though Chrissy wasn't with them. Her dad didn't completely trust Niall, even though her father liked him, but he, nonetheless, had to be a dad.
Niall wore his school uniform, but he'd taken off his button-down shirt, leaving him in his undershirt: a simple white t-shirt and had a backwards cap on his head. He looked at his phone, as he sat on the bench waiting for Ainsley. She smiled as she took his cap off and ruffled his hair, before he grabbed her hand and pulled it to his lips, where he kissed it. She blushed, yet again, as she felt his warm, soft lips and her breath caught.
She tried so hard to push back her feelings for him and thoughts of him even having some kind of feelings for her. Especially since they've only known each other for a couple of months and there was still very little she knew about him. She tried to brush it off as him being playful, but she could've sworn she saw a flash of lust, or some kind of tenderness in his eyes, with his actions. He stood from the bench, snapping her from her musings and thoughts.
'The surprise is right this way, Ms Asenath.' He gestured towards the parking lot with a smile and then entwined his fingers with hers. It took some time for her brain to register before she relaxed and accepted his lead to where ever he was taking her. After a bit of silence, Niall opened his mouth. 'Ains, I've been meaning to ask you something.' Ainsley tightened her hold on Niall's hand, in panic, in hopes that he wasn't going to ask her what she was dreading.
'I was wondering, is Asenath your real name? I looked it up and found it was Hebrew and that it means belonging to her father. Is it your middle name or summat?' Ainsley's grip loosened.
'Um, yeah. It is my middle name, but my mum prefers me to use it as my last name, for controlling purposes. Her maiden name is Alpert.' She looked at the ground as he looked over at her. She didn't want to tell him the real reason...that her parents had separated. Her parents still lived together, but slept in different bedrooms.
'Ains, is there something you want to tell me?' Niall felt concerned about her. Even though she doesn't seem scared of him anymore, he was still very careful around her. She'd eased the voices, but they're still there and appear every now and again. I hope I don't blackout again. He almost felt as if he was at some kind of peace when he was with her; Almost like a weight was lifted off his shoulders and not even he could control his feelings for her.
He held her hand absentmindedly, but noticed she didn't withdraw her hand or ask about it, which made his heart race. He too, still knew little about her, but was willing to wait for her to open up. He didn't want to push her or pressure her into giving him information. They came to a stop when they reached halfway through the parking lot. She looked at the only car in the parking lot: a blue 2009 Subaru Forester and she gasped.
'Surprise!' He said with a grin in a sing song voice. 'I received it today as a late birthday present.' A smile grew on Ainsley's face as she remembered he'd been wanting his own form of transportation.
'From who?'
'Your dad,' Niall was also surprised himself, at least as much as she was.
'M-my father?' She frowned and her eyebrows furrowed in confusion. 'How did you get my dad to do this?' Niall frowned confused and slightly offended at the idea that he'd manipulated her dad into getting something just over the top. How could she think such a thing?
'I didn't,' he said coldly. 'It just appeared in my driveway and said:
Happy birthday, Niall!
From: Mr Braham
'I called him this morning to see if it was true and he never picked up the phone. So, I went ahead and drove the car to school. I was hoping to give you a ride home, so I could ask your father about it.'
'Niall, if you didn't know about my last name, how'd you know me father's last name?' He sighed.
'I guessed. I don't know any Mr Braham's. That's why I asked you about your name, Ains.' She nodded understandingly, but still found it really weird. 'That is your real last name, isn't it?' Ainsley nodded in confirmation. Niall unlocked the car and helped Ainsley into the car. He swung around the car to the driver's seat and took a deep breath before getting in.
'Well, regardless of how you received or who gave you the car, I'm happy for you.' Niall grinned and couldn't help but think about how she was so perfect. He knew that there was still a lot to know about her, but still couldn't shake the feeling that she had a certain je ne sais quoi. He wondered if she too, felt the sinking feeling in the stomach.
—
A week later
After the bell rang to dismiss, Ainsley made a beeline for the library, before the hallway cluttered with students going home. Her Bat Mitzvah was finally coming up. It'd been held up due to financial issues and issues with her health. She'd been held back for a lot of things because of her health. She almost went blind when she was twelve and that's when the fighting between her parents started. She knew there was going to be an uncomfortable tension between her parents that she would have to sit through; But she was hoping that inviting Niall would attend with the benefit of keeping her contained. She'd finally taken the liberty of telling him about her parents' separation and he confessed that he'd also gone through the same thing when he was five.
He'd been living between his father and his mum, then a rehab centre before his mother took him away to abandon him in Sheffield. Now, he was just living with a friend until graduation. But what he didn't tell Ainsley, was the reason he'd moved to Sheffield from Ireland, his secret, and what had scared the people of Mullingar. In some ways, Niall did give off an intimidating aura. Niall himself, knew it was something inside him that just radiated off him. It was like people could see what was inside him and this made him feel somewhat vulnerable. So, he would put up a front, which made enemies and terrified individuals.
Ainsley was different. She broke down some of his walls immediately, like when he first met her and talked to her in the lunchroom. He felt guilty for making her afraid of him. He couldn't stand it and felt ashamed of himself. Like she could go her whole life without him, but he's selfish and for the first time, he wants to actually be a part of someone's life. Even though he knew he would hurt her. He could make a few warnings here and there, but not as much as the others.
Ainsley walked into the library. She greeted the librarian and headed to the back where she heard some laughter. That's when she saw Niall leaning back against the chair, at a table with somebody. They both turned to her and Niall smiled. The other bloke had pale skin, Beatles styled brunette hair, and chocolate brown eyes.
'Hi,' she raised her hand for a bit. Niall looked at her and then looked at the bloke, and back to her.
'Ains, this is my flatmate, Alex Turner.' Niall made gestures between her and Alex as he spoke. She sent a shy, small smile towards Alex and nodded before Niall continued. 'Alex, this is Ainsley Braham, my best friend,' Niall said, with pride. As soon as she came in and he saw her, his heart melted again. 'Yeah, Alex and I were catching up on shit going on at work. Alex works as a bartender at The Boardwalk during the week and performs with his other mates on the weekends as a band. I'm a bartender there on the weekends.' Alex felt kind of awkward and started scratching his neck as he got up. He grabbed his messenger bag, school blazer, and headed towards Ainsley to leave, but turned to Niall first.
'Well, I gotta go mate. Nick said he was going to let you borrow that CD you wanted, so I'll leave it on your bed.' And turned his head to Ainsley and smirked. 'Or maybe on the settee, just in case.' His head turned back to Niall, who gave him a death stare or more like a what the hell look. Alex just grinned at his embarrassment, as Niall's cheeks grew pink. Alex just laughed, as he turned around and walked out of the library. Ainsley looked at Alex walking away and then looked back at Niall who was flushed.
'How come you never told me about your job until now,' she asked softly. She wasn't mad, she was just curious. She was still learning about him, little by little. Niall shrugged.
'I dunno, you want to go home,' he asked, still flushed from Alex's remark. She smiled playfully, before she started walking towards the exit. Niall playfully grinned and she did the same. 'What?' He catches up with her. She looks back with her grin and shakes her head.
'I wasn't going to try anything, seriously!' She let out a laugh and he tugged on her hand. Her head flew to his, catching his sincerest eyes. His eyes were a regal, royal blue and she felt she could probably look into them for a lifetime.
'Alex likes to joke around, especially when he sees a girl. But my job is kinda why I couldn't hang out on the weekends.' Ainsley lowered her head and her smile disappeared. She felt hurt, but understood why. 'Ains,' he placed his pointer under her chin and raised her head to him. 'Don't look down, your eyes are beautiful.' She blushed at his compliment and could've sworn her heart ran faster.
'Um, will you come to my Bat Mitzvah this Sunday?' Her voice was raspy for some reason, but cleared her throat quickly. His eyes lit up and he smiled.
'Yeah, of course, Ains. I already have your birthday present.' His smile became a grin again as he saw her gold eyes glitter with joy.
'What is it?' She gushed and filled with excitement, because she wanted her present soon enough. For his birthday present, she'd bought him a sketchbook, a manga drawing biro set, and a cookbook. He would draw every chance he got, but for her? He'd been saving up something special just for her.
'I...am not telling.' He looked at her lips when they formed a pout. He'd wanted to kiss those lips since he'd first laid eyes on her. Especially at this moment, with her pout. 'Don't look at me like that, m'not tellin', Golden Eyes.'
—
Three weeks later
After Niall got his car the day after his birthday, he'd been dropping Ainsley off and picking her up from her ballet lessons. And even going to school together, as he'd offered to her father, after he finally got to ask her father about it. She'd always attended ballet practice since she was six and it was her aspiration to be Britain's greatest ballet dancer. Niall didn't have to go to work til six, so it was what little time he could spend with her on the weekends. He missed her so much while he was at work and she'd asked if the she could come with on a couple of occasions, but he told her no. He knew he couldn't protect her whist he was behind the bar. But was that even the real reason?
'Niall!' His musings disappeared as soon as she called his name. She sprinted across the parking lot after a rainy day and jumped in the passenger seat, throwing her bag in the back seat. He looked at her and smiled. She almost climbed across to hug him, but he told her to stay in her seat. He started to drive her towards the lake, they would visit sometimes. They did every two or three Sundays, if Niall had time.
'Do the shoes work for you?' He smiled.
'Yep, I love them, Niall. Thank you.' He gave her rose pink, Capezio pointe shoes for her birthday at her Bat Mitzvah. She loved them very much, especially since they came from him. He felt the voices slipping towards him and he suddenly stopped the car near the lake. They watched the birds swim along the water, but she knew the drill. They both got out to get in the back seat. They usually talked or watched videos online, but today was slightly different.
They talked the usual, about their day, but Niall couldn't stop looking at her thighs. He let out a breath he didn't know he was holding, as he took in the voice's comments: Look at her milky skin. It's so soft and smooth. So innocent. And those lips, haven't you been wanting to kiss them? That is when Niall placed his hand on her thighs. Ainsley's eyes grew wide and looked up at Niall's face. His eye colour turned from an oceanic blue to a gun metal grey.
'Niall, how did you do that?' Her voice went to a small mumble and she had a slight panic attack at what was going on here. 'Niall?' He shook his head as he picked her up and placed her in his lap. Once she was there, he started to caress her thighs more, and moved his hands from her thighs, to her arse. He leaned in to her and brushed his lips against hers. He didn't kiss her, but he was close to it.
She placed her hands against his chest, trying to move him away from her, but he didn't move a tic. He pushed her closer to him and kissed her before she brushed his hardness. She gasped in the kiss, broke away and slapped him across the face. His head moved to the side and he moved his back towards her, revealing his oceanic blue once again as he'd snapped out of it. His hands and arms slacked, giving her the chance to climb off of his lap. She got in the passenger seat once again and after a few moments, he sat in the driver's seat. He stared out the window ahead of him taking in what had just happened. Nothing. He wasn't consciously aware of what happened because he blacked out.
'I'm sorry. I'll take you home.' He started the engine and there was a silence between them all the way to her house.
A/N: Happy birthday me Irish babe. I hope you had a great one! xx