Cure #6: The Soul of Realization
The hunger of defeat to whoever will lose the brawl licked Malcovich's soul and somehow, the excitement and expectation of the audience motivated him to win. The taste of victory was almost at the tip of his tongue.
The wind pressure of the opponent's kick immediately activated Malcovich's instinct to dodge by stepping backwards and it made the opponent's foot to bury on the muddy ground. Malcovich immediately took the advantage to punch his opponent straight on the nose and before the latter could recover, he pulled his foot up from the thick muddy ground and swung it on the man's lower jaw. His opponent immediately stumbled backwards and landed on the muddy ground.
The audience cheered and shouted his name in awe while throwing their fist into the air. The adrenaline and the cheers of the people around him coursed through his veins and pumped his heart erratically. He took a deep breath and looked at the man who lay on the muddy ground, unconscious.
"Malcovich, remember the rule! Break a part of his bone!" A man's voice caught his attention and he looked at the crowd.
He looked again at his opponent. Malcovich took a deep breath and shouted at the top of his lungs before he raised his right foot and stepped on the man's back with full force. He heard an audible cracking sound and cracking sound and at that moment, the crowd gone wild and shouted his name in awe.
"Congratulations, messere! You won two hundred ducats for your victory against the agile guard!" Janus, the host of the brawl walked towards him and handed him the brown leather pouch that contained of money. Malcovich accepted it with his muddy hands and squeezed the pouch.
He won again.
The roaring sound of laughter echoed on the roads of Florence. The cold air of night seeped in through Malcovich's skin and goose bumps started to appear. He guided the mouth of the bottle on his lips to drink the rhum in it and he did so in large gulps. Malcovich coughed when the alcohol beverage burned his throat and then, he started to laugh again for no apparent reason. The alcohol was starting to seep through his senses but he was still aware of what's happening around him.
He raised his bottle. "Is this what you can offer?!" He shouted and looked at the heavens even he doesn't know who he is talking to. He gave a gurgly chuckle and guided the bottle's mouth into his lips to drink again but then he found out that it was empty. Anger surged through him and he threw the bottle on the floor. The sound created a disturbing noise and the broken shards scattered everywhere around his foot.
"Are you happy that I'm in this state, huh?!" He shouted again but this time, a sob escaped his lips and tears began to fall from his eyes. His sobs were followed by a whimper of pain.
He remembered it again.
"Annalisa..." he choked his tears and sniffed. The pain was too much for him to take.
"Where is my money, Malcovich?!" His loan shark, Bernardo glared at him and Malcovich could taste the danger. He's not afraid for his life but for his daughter.
"B-Bernardo, I'll pay you as soon as I get my salary at the end of month." Malcovich felt his lips trembled when he said those words. He knew he cannot pay Bernardo fully for his daughter Annalisa has heart failure and he needed a lot of florins to get her the best doctor.
Malcovich saw Bernardo smiled cynically showing his black and crooked teeth. "You've been saying that for the past few months," then Bernardo's eyes glittered in anger. "And never once, I accepted a single florin from you!"
"Please, Bernardo... Give me a chance to earn and pay."
"No," Bernardo grabbed the knife from his sheath and waved it in front of Malcovich's nose. "You'll have to pay me now."
Malcovich swallowed the lump in his throat. Fear covered his senses. "Bernard---"
"Dada?"
Malcovich froze on his spot, the overwhelming fear that he felt has gone haywire. He slowly turned around and widened his eyes in horror. A figure of a little girl was walking towards him holding a pillow and her eyes obviously interrupted from a very good sleep.
"Annalisa, g-go back to your room..." He ordered but he was starting to shake in fear already.
"Who is he, dada?"
Before he could answer, Bernardo spoke up. "You have a beautiful daughter, Malcovich. Maybe you could offer her as a payment. A courtesan, maybe?" then Bernardo smiled maliciously.
Anger surged through him. "Bastardo!" He grabbed Bernardo by the collar and before the latter could speak up, Malcovich's fist landed towards Bernardo's mouth. It made Bernardo stumbled backwards and crashed on a nearby chair. He saw black at that moment that he grabbed the knife that the loan shark has lost hold earlier.
"Dada, n-no!"
His tight grip on the knife loosened and anger forgotten when he felt Annalisa's gentle grip on his arms, he dropped the knife and scooped the little girl up, Malcovich's choice left was to run but before he could reach the door, his ears became deaf and pain shot through the very core of his skull and then he saw black after.
Malcovich couldn't stop crying for the pain was too much for him to take. Then, an idea entered his mind. He swallowed his tears and stood up, his face painted no emotion. He picked up one shard of glass and placed it above his wrist.
"Do you think killing yourself will ebb down your pain?"
Malcovich hands jerked because of the sudden interruption of a gentle voice. He dropped the shard and muffled a curse when it hit his left foot causing it to be cut.
"Damn," He bit his lip and angrily faced the one who interrupted him. "You startled me!"
The lady drew her head back and laughed. "Seriously, messere? Of all the choices in the world, suicide is on the top of your list?"
"This has nothing to do with you, Madonna so scram away!" Malcovich hissed and bend down to nurse his foot. The devious idea suddenly vanished into his mind.
The woman walked towards him, slightly closing the distance between them. Malcovich looked up and frowned at her smiling face. "You know," she started. "Killing yourself and your problems with suicide will only make you worthless but then I guess that's not your purpose. You think you want to die, but in reality you just want to be saved."
Malcovich frowned even more. "Save me from what, lady?" He asked.
"From falling apart," The woman answered. "You think there's no hope for you to change and the hurt to vanish that was buried in your heart for a long time."
"You know nothing." Malcovich spat and started to walk away.
He heard the footsteps behind him and he rolled his eyes. "Wait, you're not going to do it?" She said.
"I'm a dead man anyway." He snorted and walked away. He wished that the alcohol have overwhelmed his senses but it did not. It was only one small bottle and his toleration on alcohol was way more than that.
The woman kept up with his pace as she followed him. "You made yourself a dead man. You don't think about your future anymore."
Malcovich stopped from walking and glared at her. "I don't care about the future anymore. I prefer existing in this world and you woman," he pointed at her. "Know nothing about me, so stop bothering me."
She did not look offended at all and it irritated Malcovich anymore. He hated the natural smile that is plastered on her face. "Remember messere," she brushed aside his pointing finger. "A man begins to die when he ceases to expect anything from tomorrow. You should be grateful that you're alive right now because there's still hope for you to change for the better."
Malcovich felt his walls break down at her words. "Y-You know n-nothing." His lips trembled as he said those words to counter on her. Tears are threatening to fall from his eyes again and the hurt that lingered on him tugged at the strings of his heart.
"You know you didn't kill your daughter, Malcovich." The woman said as she looked at him with those piercing eyes.
That did it.
His tears suddenly began to appear again. "I don't know where to start," he said in a broken voice. Frustration was evident in his tone. "I lost my daughter. The only family I have and the only person who inspired me to strive in life... I lost her, because of me," The woman heard and watched him sob like the wounded father he is. He choked his tears and whimpered. "I may not have killed her with my own hands but when I woke up next to her holding the knife that was buried deep in her chest and my hands tainted with her blood---"
Then she just felt the woman's arms around him and for the first time, Malcovich became vulnerable in front of a person. In combat, opponents feared him for he was known as the best fighter in Florence but right now, he was a weeping father who was wounded deeply.
"I'm glad you didn't do it." He felt her hands caressing the top of his head. Malcovich sighed as comfort covered him and he just found himself hugging her back.
"Who are you?" He murmured as he buried his nose on her hair. The electricity that approached his every pore was awfully familiar. He just didn't know what it is yet.
"It doesn't matter who I am. I just want to remind you that you're buried in a dark pit of sadness. There's hope, Malcovich... There is hope for you to feel alive again as long as you live." She said.
He released her and they faced each other. "I've been a bad person." He said.
"It's not too late for you to be good again."
Malcovich watched her in awe. "How do you know so much about me?"
She smiled again and wiped the tears that tainted his cheeks. "I just knew." She said.
An overwhelming happiness flooded through him as he closed his eyes and feel the delicate touch of her fingers. "Did we happen to meet before?" he asked.
She nodded. "Yes, somehow we did."
Malcovich doesn't know why he was suddenly drowned in her eyes. "We did?"
"I saw you just from a distance away and I saw you how you showed love and affection towards your daughter. So when I heard the news in this town that you killed your own daughter, I didn't believe it... I never did." She said.
"I know it was my loan shark who killed my daughter... I tried revenge but I just don't see the sense of doing it."
She brushed her fingers through his hair. "Because you are a good man, Malcovich and I know that deep inside of you hoped to find justice for your daughter."
Malcovich nodded. "Yes... That's the only the thing I hope for. That Annalisa will find peace and also for me."
"Then you have to start renewing your life again and to relive your hopes."
He looked confusingly at her. "Where do I start?"
"You'll see."
Then she broke away from their embrace and started to walk away from him. Malcovich suddenly felt the panic that rose in his throat.
"W-Wait, w-where are you going?"
She paused. "Home." She said.
"C-Can I atleast know your n-name before you go?" he asked.
The woman faced her. "It's Christina..."
By the mention of her name, Malcovich widened his eyes in shock and the woman he's facing right now has the physical appearance of his wife! She wasn't the complete stranger anymore...
"Christina?!"
The woman nodded and laughed again. "Thank you for taking care of our daughter, Malcovich. Don't worry, she's with me..." she said and turned on her back.
Malcovich felt the nostalgic feeling and he started to walk towards her. "W-Wait, Christina! Don't go!" his tears fell as she slowly vanished. Then he just felt that his steps started to get heavy and also his body. Before his vision blackened out, only one thing entered his mind... his family.
The flash of sunlight knocked on Malcovich eyelids and when he opened his eyes, he cursed when the light blinded him. It took a while before he could see again. He had a momentary panic when he saw where he is right now. He was lying on the busy streets of Florence and he also saw the shards that surrounded him. He lifted himself up and when he was finally on his feet, he roamed his eyes around the place.
This was the place he walked from last night.
Christina...
"Malcovich," he heard a deep voice and he jumped in surprise. His eyes found Janus, the host of the brawl he worked to. "You're in for another fight." Janus continued when he didn't answer.
His mind was on Christina as he followed Janus to the place he doesn't know where. He just remembered Christina's words from last night.
"Then you have to start renewing your life again and to relive your hopes."
He was suddenly back to present when he felt a strong hand pushed him. He didn't realize that he was already on the ring! He looked around and somehow, Malcovich felt like he doesn't belong here.
The crowd... The cheers... The money...
A raging shout caught his attention and he felt a strong impact on his face. He stumbled backwards and fell on the ground. It wasn't muddy this time, but a rough cemented ground. He tried to stand up but a strong kick hit his lower jaw and Malcovich almost couldn't hear anything from what is happening around him, the stinging pain and the numbness of his face scattered on his veins.
"L-Look, I don't want to fight you..." he said between his gasps. His opponent just smirked and gave him another kick, this time on his stomach. Malcovich coughed and he tasted faint metallic rust on his taste buds, he spit it out. It was blood.
"This is for my brother you killed yesterday." The man said and there and then, life flashed before Malcovich's eyes.
His daughter running around their garden and his first kiss with Christina... All of it playing on his mind all over again.
His hands trembled as he held the knife that was buried on his stomach.
"Dada!" Annalisa's voice echoed through his ears.
"Your time has come, love. We can go now..." This time, he heard Christina's voice.
Malcovich's pupils dilated and looked at the open sky...
Before death embraced him... He was smiling.
Now he knew where he will start.