Waking up i had a horable headache.Felling next to me i felt a person and not air opening my eyes i saw it was Bri.It must have stormed last knight.I formed a habit a year ago that every time it stormed id scream in my sleep untill someone cuddled me. The doctors say its becase i have a form of insomnia.Bri thinks the docs wakey because i sleep alot.
"Bj its time to get up,"Bri said as a nock was heard.
"come in,"She said pulling the cover to cover me.
"You girls awake and presentable becase the the guys wanna come in,"Calum said holding his hand over his eyes.
"Let Bj put on a shirt and then you guys can come in,"She said.
"Do i have to put on a t-shirt?Can i wear a tank top its to hot for a t-shirt,"i said sneezing.
"Bj lay down im going to get the thermometor i think yor getting sick again,"Bri said pushing me back down on the bed before i cold get my tanktop.
Once Bri got back with the thermometer i tried running out the door but Luke tackled me to the ground.
"Luke let go of me. im not sick," i pleaded as he sat me on the bed and sat on me to keep me in place as Bri stuck the thermometer in my mouth.
After a few minutes later Bri pulled the thermometer out and said,"yeap your sick."
"Calum cuddle me!"i screamed.
"Dude do it or shell cry,"Bri said wrapping a cover around me just to have me kick it off.
"Bri bri im to hot.I want cuddles from Calum."
"Scoot over then dummy,"he said laying down and cuddling me.
Once i was in his arms i feel asleep.When i woke up Bri was coming in to check on me
"Bj. Your awake.How you feeling?"she asked coming to sit next to me.
"I feel like shit. Uggg how the hell did i sick this time?"I asked
"I dont know girl but i talked t the record company and they said well have to wait till you get better to got on tour."
"Awww but i wanna go.You get out so i dont get you sick."
"WEll if you need anything you mp3 player is on you nightstand along with your earbuds,"She said getting up and leaving he room.
After she had left i grabbed my notebook out from its hiding place and begain to wright.
Dear book,
The hate from the fans have got worse since last time.Im sick now and i hate it so much.It hurts to breath and speak.Becuase of me the tours being putt off and i feel horriable about it.When we go on tour i just nothing too crazy happens. A couple of weeks i was called fat by both the boys fans.I dont understand why hey feel this way about me.Bris there too. Is it because i hide my tru self and im not showing them the real me. Im afraid that if i do ill be completely shunned by everyone.Yes im werid yes im not the weight everyoe wants me to.Yes in tall yes im flat cheste but why me.?IG people just hate me for everything.My anger issuies have been getting worse.I stopped going to the meetings but i havent told anyone.My insomia is getting worse.I havent eaten in two days.The food i eat i just spit it back out into the toilet or into a cup.It all tatse stail to me.Ig thats when i started to get sick.I just hope Bri never finds this book.Shell kill me for sur if she ver saw this. Ig thats why im so willowy.I mean when i hugged Calum the other day he winched aay from me as if id hurt him.I probably did with all my pointed bones.I g ill try to sleep off this sickness now.Bye
Bye,
Bobbie
After writting i slipped the book back into place below our bed under a lose floorboard.Once i made sure the floorboard was in place i closed my eyes and let my dream consume me.
(THE DREAM)
As i walked down the hall in a flowing white dress i noticed Calum was standing at a door.He must have not seen me because he grabbed a girls hand.Following the hand up to the girls face i saw it was my exbestfriend Casey.She was wearing a light pink dress.She had he hair in elegant curls all around her.Her brown eyes sparkled with untold love and happiness.Even if i felt sad i was happy for her for finding her one.As she turrned her head to me everything faded but me and her.
Letting Calum go she walked up to me and said,"You know youll never be his right.Hell never love you like you want him too.How could he love someone as ugly and fat as you.Look at you so ugly and gross.Why dont you just end iot like i told you too so many years ago/"
"Because i didnt and still dont care what youve got to say,"I said tring to fight off the tears and lossing.
"Honey it sure does seem like you do,"She said wallking back twoard Wear she left Calum and taking his invisible arm.
As everything came back Calum turrnined around and said,"Shes right i never could love someone like you.Your so fat,ugly,needy, and immature for me.I never want to see or hear from you again Bobbie."
With that they booth left me standing their as i brooke down.Next thang i know is that im standing on the roof with tears streaming down my face standing on the edge of the building All below me are people screaming for me to do it.They scream for me to die to jump or shoot myself.I stand their as i feel my self lenning fowoard and then im falling.A scream leaves my lips as i fall.
My dream end their as i soot up in bed screaming. Im covered in a cold sweat and all the guys are around me.Once my shacking had stopped i looked all around me.
"Bj whats wrong?"Ashton asked placing a hand on my shoulder.
Instead of answering him in loanched my self into Nialls arms.Everyone but Luke,Calum,Michael and Ashton understood to leave me alone with Niall for a bit so i could calm down and tell him what happened.Ive always been able to tell Niall my bad dreams and hes always helped me understand them.I do the same for him.Oncee teh boys were completely dragged out oif the room i started to tell Niall about my dream.After three hours i was done talking and we had somehow got two gallens of vanilla icecream each i was already done with mine and Niall was just starting on his second one.
"Niall did you have to deal with all this kind of stuff when you guys first started out?"
"Yeah i got it worse than the boys because im not British,"HE said laying back.
"I dont undertand why people are targettting only me."I said laying down next to him.
"Its probably because you peak your mind in every interview and you dont sugar cout everything.YOur know as the bad ass."
AS he said this i counldnt help but laugh and cough at the sme time.
Once idone coughing i said,"Me a bad ass.No way in hell."
"How about we go to bed.You gave all of us a fright eairlier and its 12 at night,"He said yawning.
"Okay,"I said curlling up next to him and falloning to sleep
( A/N)
Okay guys how did you like it.Ik Itsnot very good.So you saw into a slight view of whats inside of Bobbies head.The reson behind the hole people calling her fat was because resantly i was calle dfta on facebook.I was protecting a friend when the attack happened sao thats whats been going n with me.How are you guys liking the story.And to the poeople reading my other i dont know were to go so coment on this one or on the other one and illget back to you when ever i can sorry about the weight to all you lovelly little humans.
So untill nxt time my beautiful perfect hunams.Illsee you next updat and im sorry about any misspelling.Bye
-Sissy