Kitsuna's pov
Another day another moment mission the king made up. Today was to give Haruhi cake...yes pointless I know
"Haruhi-chan~ come out and play~" what came from the door was her dad without makeup....I never thought I would say this.
"...excuse us we must've been in the wrong apartment"
"Huh? Hey hey hey" he rolled the hosts back and pulled me and them in the house.
"Don't go so patently looking like,'oops, we just saw the tranny without his make up, which we weren't supposed to see.' Even I have a bit of beard when I have just woken up"
"S-sure do! Ha Ha Ha, of course you do! here I hope we find you and your friend in good health-" the king got cut off when Ranka punched him to the air grabbing the cake from him and slammed his foot on his head.
"...this is nice" I mumbled taking a picture of him in the mercy of his foot.
"R-Ranka-san-"
"My everyone is here, it's been so long~ How are you? You'll have to forgive my dreadful appearance. I'm so glad you came~"
"Is Haru-chan here?"
"I'm sorry, Haruhi is out today. Some girl friends of hers picked her up early this morning, and she went out with them."
"So she's not home, huh?"
"Well I guess Haruhi does sometimes go out and have fun with her friends from middle school or whomever" the king sighed pulling himself out of the foot grip.
"Kind of hard to imagine it, though~" the twins said.
"Come to think of it, the girls this morning were ones that I hadn't seen before-" they all stopped for a while hearing so, "-But then, that's my little girl, having friends such as them. I mean, students from the famous lobelia girls academy coming all the way here for her-"
"What did you say..." I grabbed his arm with the look of dread in my eyes.
"Lo-"
"-Bel-"
"-i-"
"-a?????" The king and twins spelled it out dramatically.
We all shuffled back in taking our shoes off and I just gave Ranka-san a stare to the soul with dead fish eyes.
"You just abandoned your daughter to the Zuka Club ..." I said it's forbidden name that sent shivers down the hosts' spine and Ranka-san's face turned pale.
"WHAT??? SERIOUSLY?!?? WHAT SHALL I DO?!? If by some chance the Zuka club does anything scandalous to Haruhi..."
"Anything scandalous?" The king tilted his head oh wait I think I know this.
"Like forcing her to kiss someone!!" The king turned beet red making me flick his forehead to get his mind out of that kiss.
"Eh...but if I recall at that dance party-" the twins got cut off when the king tied them up with tape...from wherever he kept it...
"eh?"
(I WANT TO CLARIFY THIS THAT I ACCIDENTALLY DELETED THAT CHAPTER WHILE I WAS EDITING IT!! PLEASE BARE WITH ME I'M SO SORRY)
"NO!! It's nothing!!!"
"She wouldn't by any chance have done something scandalous at the Host Club....?"
"Of course not. I wouldn't make my little girl do anything scandalous~"
"Well if you two love birds are done shouldn't we g-"
"YES, Come on everyone let's go to Lobelia and save Haruhi~ LET US ALL GO!!" the king beamed making me sigh picking up the twins as well teleported our way to the Lobelia academy...I wish I was joking I didn't even know how we go here.
——-——-——-——-——-——-——-——-
I swear the rules of physics and space-time law don't work when I'm with them. We literally got transported to the school in mid-air
"Now that I've heard that Haruhi was taken away by the Zuka Club, I can't just sit by and do nothing. Listen to me, the Zuka Club is like a fiendish flower nectar that once you're caught up in you'd want to get out of even if it bankrupts you."
"How do you know so much about this?"
"Yeah, Haruhi doesn't seem like the type to even be in that club" I shivered making him sigh.
"You're right, Kotoko was a cool woman too. Not upset by anything..." ahh her mother...
"Kotoko?"
"Her late mother, Haruhi seems to have more richly inherited her mother's blood in many ways. Being like her mother is also something Haruhi aspires to be" Kyoya explained making Ranka-san nodded.
"For a short time after we got married, I was so elated that I didn't noticed it...One day, while I was cleaning, I found it Kotoko's vast Zuka Club collection" each and everyone of us had our colors drained hearing this...this evil.
"W-WHAT DO WE DO SIR!?!"
"Moreover, Haruhi more richly inherited her mother's blood in many ways right?!?"
"Waahh!! Is Haru-chan gonna go bankrupt??? She didn't even have much of a fortune to begin with!!"
"I-It's alright, Haruhi has her own fortune of 'cute-"
The king and the twins froze for a while probably fantasizing about Haruh-
"NO THAT'S EVEN WORSE!!!" The three yelled together as I pull out my gun and reloading it.
"Give me 10 minutes and-" I got cut off when the king grabbed both my shoulders.
"OH KITSUNA YOU'RE A GIRL!!!"
"...Thanks for noticing?"
"That means you can easily infiltrate the school!!! WE CAN ALL DO IT!! Kyoya! Order us some lobelia our uniforms immediately! We have to disguise ourselves and make our way in-" he got cut off by Ranka kicking him and stepping on him...
"OVER RULLED"
"This is incredibly entertaining..." I sighed with a smile taking more pictures making the twins peak over.
"This is a sick hobby you have-"
"-how many pictures did you took..." they said looking over my phone while I just took more.
"Ahh just enough to keep my sense of humor dark as it is" I smiled when all a sudden Ranka-san got in front of me and grabbed my shoulders...oh this doesn't seem sketchy at all.
"Kitsuna-chan I need you to get us inside, so that we can be in the Zuka Club fan-club ".... what
"What why me?!"
"Because security here is tight, they won't just let us boys in!! We need a girl now go go work your charm!!" He shooed me away to the security guard making me gulp as she just eyed me suspiciously.
I peaked back and saw them giving a thumbs up OKAY THAT IS NOT HELPING WHY WHY HARUHI WHY DIDN'T YOU JUST SCREAM BLOODY MURDER WHEN YOU GOT KIDNAPPED FOR THE LOVE OF GOD I WILL GIVE YOU A GUN FOR YOUR BLOODY BIRTHDAY-
"I'm Kanemoto Kitsuna, and I heard there's a play going on? Led by Benibara, I was just strolling by and I'm really curious" I said with a smile as the security guard gaped before ripping her uniform showing her love for Benibara in form of a shirt...I see that all people here are lunatics how nice.
"KANEMOTO KITSUNA?!! I actually am the president of the fanclub, Kanemoto-san!! You are such a powerful ruler and inspiration." That's honestly a bad choice to do.
"Ahaa..I'm touched, Oh I brought a few friends with me they're a bit shy you know this is a girl school ha ha ha"
"I see..." she snapped her fingers and exactly 7 girls showed up and brought the host club up front along with Ranka-san, "You mean these boys? With all do respect Kanemoto-san this is an all girls school, so no boys" My my how scary.
"...did I mention they like Benibara-" in a split second they all were wearing the uniforms and they were released from their clammy hands of course I took a picture of them this is too precious.
"Oh why didn't you say so~ forgive me for my attitude you and your friends may proceed. Ah Kanemoto-san have this map, have fun watching the drama" she said with a smile waving off while opening the gates.
We all walked in and as soon as we were far from the crazies I flopped to the ground like a dead seal.
"Great job Kitsuna-chan! Now we just need a look at this map" Ranka-san said patting my head and grabbed the map from me I can hear the king, the twins, and Honey bickering from a distance.
"It's this way!!"
"No no no you're wrong! We need to go right first"
"No it's that way"
"Can you guys even read maps??"
I crawled my self to my feet and snatched the map back from them turning it around and hit their heads with the map.
"Drama class should just be straight ahead, come on princesses" I sighed walking a head.
While walking we can already hear the songs getting louder. So I'm guessing we're getting close, yeah I see those weird moving people must be the drama rehearsal.
"Alright men, lets go in position!" The twins grabbed me and mushed be in between them as the king squat beside Hikaru and Ranka-san and Honey stood behind us. Yes, we are stalking Haruhi.
Seems that they were practicing, Haruhi's probably the heroin and Benibara is the prince. Well let's just see how this goes who knows it might actually be decent enough to send me to sleep.
"Ah Marianne, How many thousands of nights have I prayed , that I might see you? How greatly I despised being told that we were from different social classes, and the thousands of other obstacles in the way of our love!"
"Frederick-sama!"
"Sure enough the gunshot wound I just suffered has it in for me, is this...where my fate ends...?"
"Frederick-sama"
"Marianne, when you hold me like this, I feel no pain at all. I feel so very peaceful right now. You are an angel. You are the figure of my mother...your warm gaze envelops me...it's enough to make me forget even the pain of my gunshot wound....ah, and yet...and yet-"
"This...is bad..." I mumbled as they grumbled along seeing this painful drama unfold
"Nee nee is Haru-chan in there?"
"Yeah...and it looks like she's playing the heroine in some tragedy...but..." the king trailed off as we looked back at her going for her line.
"Frederick-sama!"
"She's completely monotonous, and an incredible daikon radish..." we all sighed together.
"She may be my daughter but I can't even say anything to dress it up..."
"Why doesn't anyone tell her...?"
"Apparently, that is the only line she has been given..."
"Oh wait look she's getting up"
"Yeah looks like she's going to sing?"
"NO WAY!! Her grades in music have always been absolutely awful!" Ranka-san screeched I sighed getting out of this friendly circle to cover my eyes only to be pulled aside by Kyoya.
"Kitsuna, can I borrow this map?"
"Oh yes of course, young master. Anything else you would like?" I mocked making his eyebrow twitch as I gave him the map.
"No, that will be all. Don't fret I'll bring back a souvenir" he smirked reading the map making me scoff.
"Do spare me, you giving a souvenir sounds scarier. Now shoo" I waved him off and went back to see Haruhi's singing and she was honestly doing fairly well-
"Haru-chan is lip-syncing" ah...
"Hey newbies!! Since you wanted to join the Benibara fan club, they must do what the rest of the group is doing!! Jumping ahead of others is not allowed!!" The President came forth to me and pulled me aside
"As a fan of Benibara-sama your words and conduct must be becoming at all times!! Now all together let's practice our greetings, 'Benibara-sama, hang in there today!' "
They all went in a single line and just chanting that single word over and over to the point I believe this is a bloody cult for Benibara.
"What do you think Kanemoto-san" the leader of the club asked making me gulp.
"A-amazing determination for Benibara-san, it's admirable. I bet she's an amazing woman based from...this" I stammered making her smile with a blush I looked back at this chanting cult the leader stopped them.
"Okay Let's take a short break" the twins and honey just say together all tired, so I just sat with them.
"I'm sorry I had to make you go in the club..." I sighed and they just waved me off, "we're to tired to care"
"Nee these girls are so scary" Honey panted. Two then made conversation with Tamaki and Ranka-san.
"Say what do you think you like the most about Benibara-sama?"
"Oh you know~ the sprightly way that she carries herself, her singing voice, the shape of her head, and even when she wears that coat with the tails!!"
"Haha I know right~" the girls replied oh wow so this is a professional huh...
"You know I'm so looking forward to today's play. This one is supposed to be a tragedy right?"
" 'Señorita in Reminiscence' Frederick, the son if nobles in order to take revenge on his father, shoots his father's lover, Marianne, right in front of him, with a pistol that he says has blanks"
"My, how sad!"
"But, I'm not too sure about the understudy for Marianne"
"If, for any reason, she does anything to ruin Benibara-sama's play, then we can rely on the assembly of maidens from behind the gym!" We peaked from the side seeing actual armed ladies with chains OH THEY MEAN BUSINESS AND POSSIBLY READY FOR JAIL
"What do we do?? If she puts on that ultra wooden performance in front of those girls..."
"Will Haru-chan get beaten to a pulp?!"
"NOO HARUHI!!"
"Okay listen the option of me breaking in is still available I literally have a gun right now"
"Whatever it takes, we have to rescue Haruhi from this place...without killing anyone"
———————white lily theatre———————
We all snuck in the place and just waited for this drama to unfold. Which will be in a few more minutes.
"Will this place seriously be filled?" I whispered yelled considering the fact there are at least 10.000 seats or so.
"Most likely, yeah."
"Huh? Incidentally, where is Kyoya-kun?" Ranka-san asked making me freeze.
"Now that you mention it, I haven't seen him in a little while" the King looked around while I just started foot taping.
"What do you know..." Hikaru'a voice creeped up as his arm swing over my shoulder.
"I don't know what you're talking about" then another arm sung over basically locking me in place.
"Tell us" Both of them said making me sigh pointing above before the rest started to notice. There he was the devil himself smiling upon our idiocy.
"Ah there's Kyo-chan!!" Honey said, and as soon as he said so he turned to us before talking to the lady and pointed at us.
"W-what is he doing..." The king muttered when all a sudden I was pulled out from their grip and dragged away.
"Sorry boys but the principal is calling for her"
"Ha?" They all just say while I got dragged away like a rag doll to where ever the principal was at-
"Kanemoto-san!" The principal cheered shaking my hand while I had mild aneurisms seeing the devil smiling at me
"It's an honor to have not only a you, but one of the Ootori boys to come visit here" she cheered urging me to come in while I dig my heels to the floor.
"It's such a coincidence seeing you here, Kanemoto-san" he smiled and walked up beside me the principal was just ogling him a host is a host wherever they are...
"You're fully equipped huh? That's where the orchestra goes, right?"
"Yes. Also we have the latest in digital equipment. If there are any photos or other images, we can put them up as is on that digital screen and use it as the backdrop for the stage." He just smiled which already means he has an idea, and an idea from him means someone's probably going to die.
"Thank you for the marvelous opportunity, can I have some time to talk with my acquaintance" He asked with puppy eyes which turned her to putty, she just sighed dreamily and walked out while I sat on the chair letting out a sigh.
"How is my souvenir?" He asked me making my eye twitch sitting up straight.
"I'm forever grateful, what do you want" I arched a brow making him chuckle.
"I'm glad you understand, the photos of the Host Club dance, please"
"Yeah I knew you wanted something man child, move over" I wheeled the chair over to the computer and hacked to the the host club's hidden cameras.
"When is this play star-?"
He got cut off when an earthquake happened we just looked at each other before peaking outside seeing the tidal wave of girls flooding in to the point where hosts got backed up to a corner.
"Well apparently soon" he waved me off while I spun around in my chair.
"I'll stay to keep you company-"
"You just want the air conditioning"
"Oh you're so understanding ~" I grinned as the lights of the stage dimmed down and the curtains opened.
I moved over to the windows to get a closer look at Haruh-OH MY MY MY HEAVY MAKE UP HARUHI WHAT ON EARTH ARE YOU WEARING????
"Oh my dear Haruhi what have they done to you..." I sighed and peaked over to the hosts seeing that they too are in shock.
"Well aren't you going to do your bravado rescue?" He asked taking a seat while I shrug and pointed at the hosts.
"They don't seem to be reacting....and it would seem like she's doing this by her own free will....I'll interfere when they get in trouble for saving her" I shrugged and continued to watch in pain ahh this shouldn't be too long I guess
—————2 and a half hours later—————
I gripped in my face feeling my eyes getting dryer while my foot started tapping really loudly when the hell is this ending. This drama is incredibly bland with extremely heavy makeup to the point where it's painful to see hell even Kyoya looks annoyed.
"You were right about the deaths..."
"An average person would take 30 to 180 seconds....almost all of them still had a 5 to 10 minutes dialogue..."
"How much longer are we supposed to endure this...?"
"Beats me...I just want the Fredrick to die already..."
"-my love for you, and my vengeance towards him, are things that can never be blotted out..." the lights suddenly got to the hosts making me jerk up.
"Ah looks like it's your cue to intervene?" He smirked making me sigh getting up and go to the door, "seems so, thanks for the souvenir I guess"
I go out and bolted down to where the hosts were and saw Haruhi getting pulled to Benibara's arms OHH HOHO THAT KISS SCENE WAS PURE SERIOUS ALRIGHT!!
"I will steal your first kiss right before his eyes, that will be my revenge..." OH NONONO NO I AS HARUHI'S POSSIBLY ONLY FEMALE FRIEND DOES NOT ALLOW THIS
"NO ABSOLUTELY NO WAY WILL DADDY ALLOW ANYTHING SO DESPICABLE!!!" GO TAMAK-ah he fell from a banana peal. I groaned and turned to the rest.
"Why didn't any of your guys catch her when it just began?!" I whisper yelled while they just shrug.
"Boss said to just leave her be" the twins said making me groan pulling out my knives only to have a hand on my head.
"Kit-chan remember no killing!" Honey scolded making me smile patting his head before running up to the stage.
WHERE IS THE MACHINE FOR THE MAGIC PEDESTAL EVERY SCHOOL SOMEHOW ALWAYS HAS??
"Right now I will steal this maiden's lips in front of you!" She said making me throw the knives to the machine of the pedestal stopping it before jumping on the one they were on and grabbing the edge of the pedestal
"Angel Maiden?!"
"Kitsuna??"
"I'm here for your soul-" I trailed off when the screen behind me showed a picture of Haruhi's real first kiss.
I can hear the gasp of shock of a father from afar and the now shocked Benibara. So that's why he wanted those files. I groaned slowly pulling my self up
"WHAT?! HOW SHOCKING!! MAIDEN?? YOU MEAN..."
"Back off~" I picked up Haruhi and glared at Benibara, "She is not kissing another girl anytime soon"
"Jump!!" I looked down seeing Tamaki...I honestly don't know how he would hold in our weight...I'll take his word for it.
I jump down with Haruhi and landed on his...arms? And chest and possibly crushed his ribs.
I put her down and pulled Tamaki to his feet.
"WE GOT TO GO NOW GO GO GO!!!"
"SUZURAN! HINAHINU! GATHER THE ZUKA CLUB'S FULL FORCE AND CATCH HER!!"
"RUN!!!"
Ahh...I should've just stayed at the control room with Kyoya...