Willow:
Yesterday, I had watched Wyatt leave the small hospital right after our little moment. He wore the clothes he apparently arrived in, and to say he was tantalizing would have been an understatement. All he had to do was sign himself out, like he had been at an obligatory event, or work, or maybe even school. Yesterday was the day he was ready to leave. Maybe he was ready to meet his students. Maybe he was ready to meet Annette.
I hadn't known the details of his reasoning. I was able to read his face and his body language - not his mind. And now that the truth was out between Wyatt and me, I hadn't really known how to react to it.
What now? I had asked myself multiple times. I was simply unsure, though I hadn't had any bad feelings. I hadn't even had unfamiliar feelings. They were just feelings I hadn't felt in a very long time: I was nervous, I was excited, and of course, I was scared.
It was the stages before love that made me feel these things. The anticipation of love was beyond rattling. The feeling hadn't been touched since Kennedy, but then Wyatt came along. Wyatt came, and made me feel like this. He made me feel like love could become something real again.
I was taking Annette to school early today. I was going to walk inside with her, but only because Wyatt had said to me, "I'll see you tomorrow," before getting on the elevator yesterday. I had watched him wink at me for the first time before the elevator doors closed. Tessa was going on about a patient she hadn't enjoyed caring for, and I had purposely tuned out most of what she had said. It had been because of Wyatt and his tendency to captivate me. I knew then that he expected to see me today. He'd be wearing a suit, probably, and I was ready to see him in one. I intended to wear normal clothes, because Wyatt was so used to seeing me in scrubs. I had planned to change in my car in the parking lot at work and if someone saw me (I had thought about this prior), I'd play it off as no big deal. I was ready to see Wyatt as Mr. Blanquette and I knew he was ready to see me as just Willow.
The school doors had opened at seven-thirty every morning each weekday. Annette was constantly groaning as we walked towards those doors, because I made her get up a little earlier and she hadn't wanted to go to school early.
As a compromise, I just kept telling her, "I have a conference with your real teacher today."
She'd catch on to that lie eventually if I kept using it as a daily excuse to see Wyatt, I had thought at the time. But I knew Wyatt and I would find other ways to find each other. All we had to do was make plans; go on dates, possibly. Learn to tolerate each other more, but up close sooner than later.
I hadn't wanted to treat him like a dirty secret. I wanted the world to see us together and I wanted to be his. I wanted him to want me as his. I hoped he had hope for us.
"Mommy," Annette pulled on my hand and had forced me to stop where I was. We were standing directly in front of the double doors to her school.
"Yes, sweetie?" I responded quietly. I was trying not to let the vein in my neck look noticeable as I watched the cars on the highway pass the school entrance.
"You're acting really weird and I don't think you really have a meeting with my real teacher today," Annette sighed. "Why are you so weird today, mommy?"
My daughter thought I was weird today. I knew she was too smart to believe that lie I had made up. I released her hand, knelt in front of her, and then looked her in the eyes. "Baby, I am meeting someone very important here today at your school. He just so happens to be your real teacher. Would you understand if I told you mommy had a crush?" I spoke cautiously. I had never talked to Annette about crushes, not even guys in general. Maybe it was because I had only two genuine crushes in my lifetime. One was her dead father whom she never met, and the other was Wyatt, who I was mentioning to her now.
To my surprise, she had given me a wide smile, and said, "I just want you to be happy, mommy."
I smiled at that. "This stays between us," I whispered.
"I won't tell," she'd promised.
I was on the brink of tears as I hugged my daughter tightly. She had been the best daughter in the world. I wanted everyone that deserved to know her to know her. She could be the brightness in everyone's life.
"You're my angel every day," I told her before kissing her cheek; she was grinning up at me as I stood to my feet.
She'd grabbed my hand and squeezed it. The feeling was all too familiar, but different in a way that was new and more comfortable. "Let's go meet your crush," Annette smiled goofily.
"Your real teacher," I corrected.
She nodded. "Sorry," she whisper-shouted.
"I love you, Annette."
I was smiling, she was smiling. "I love you, too, mommy."
We went inside and the walk to the classroom seemed longer than I had remembered. I was a box of nails in a washing machine. My nerves couldn't handle the anticipation of Wyatt. Not after yesterday; never after yesterday.
"What room number is it again?" I asked Annette.
She simply shrugged. "I don't remember, mommy."
I was practically sprinting as I dragged Annette behind me, looking for this room. After cutting two corners and listening to Annette continuously say, "Nope, that's not it," I almost gave up, and shouted Wyatt's name. But around the next upcoming corner, I had managed to stop in front of a very tall man wearing black dress pants and a long-sleeved polo colored a deep blue. There sat a basket of heart suckers at his feet.
"Morning, Willow." His voice caused the development of chills, all over me. I looked up, slowly, and the only thing I could come up with as a response was kind of a word, but not really.
"Gawd," I muttered, as I fawned and fawned and fawned more than I ever have before.
There he was. With his perfected hair, those distracting eyes, his handsome face, that casted left arm, those juicy thighs, and his caveman feet that had shoes covering them.
"Morning, Wyatt," I crooked a smile.
At the corner of my eye, I saw Annette make her way into the classroom, careful not to interrupt us. He knelt to the ground, but he never took his eyes off mine. He grabbed a heart shaped sucker from the basket, but only this one had something taped to it.
He hadn't handed it to me. He stood in front of me, and then he put the sucker in the pocket of my jeans, leaving the heart-shape of the sucker sticking out so it'd be visible.
"I'm going to miss seeing you in room 209 today," I stated casually.
He smiled, simply, then he stepped a foot backward so he'd be standing inside the classroom. He made a pointing gesture towards the ceiling, so I'd look up.
"But Willow, you're looking at me as I stand in room 209, now," he said to me, and I looked up to find the room number assigned to his classroom.
"Coincidental?"
"No, I just, like... have weird preferences."
I agreed by nodding.
"So, when do you think I should read this note you left me on this heart-shaped sucker?"
He licked his lips as he processed the question, but he seemed to have expected me to ask it. He looked over his shoulder to give Annette both a wave and a thumbs up. She returned both gestures before he closed the door with him on the outside of the classroom.
Now it was just me and Wyatt, Wyatt and me, and in this empty hallway within a very empty school. Our feelings were in the air before. Now we were making eye contact in this spacious setting. Between the first two seconds before, and the three seconds after that door closed, the air had absorbed into us as if it were a liquid that became a solid; we couldn't breathe. We felt absolutely everything.
"When you're alone," he answered, moments after an intense yet silent eye to eye session.
I cringed, suddenly.
"Why can't you tell me what it is you've written here? Why does it have to remain a secret until I'm alone?"
He sighed. "I'm trying to be mysterious and sexy, Willow. Why can't you just go with it?" he grumbled.
I smiled as I tried not to laugh in his face. "Wyatt, we're adults, you know."
He nodded. "Yeah, but Willow, there is never a bad time to hand out notes. There is never a time when you should stop handing out notes. And most importantly, there is not an age limit for note exchanges. I do what I want and I want you to listen to me. Just this one time."
He was seemingly begging. He wanted me to take this seriously. And I then realized: why would I not?
I had let out a deep sigh. "Okay, I'll go with it, then. Just this once, though. You're sexy and mysterious all on your own, Wyatt. But not when you're trying to be."
He smirked that cocky smirk of his, the one that used to make my blood boil.
"You think I'm sexy?"
He sounded flattered and surprisingly surprised, and I was starting to feel like this exchange was way too junior high.
"I mean, of course. I wanted to know what it would be like to kiss a guy that looked as good as you when I first saw you. You're like a super-hot guy, and I want to lick your face all the time."
"Really?"
"No," I answered immediately, snorting. "You're attractive, yes, but when I first met you, I hated everything about you. Especially your good looks."
He smiled warmly. "I apologized for my behavior, Willow. Are there still hard feelings?"
I backed up a few steps, expecting him to follow. When he did, I simply said, "No."
I waited for him to close the space between us and kiss me or something, but he never did. He just stared at me the same way he always did.
"You're attracted to me, right?" I blurted out.
I hadn't understood why he wasn't attempting to suck my face, or fondle me in some type of way. Was it because of our location? Was it because he thought I'd reject him?
His eyes had widened, and he looked kind of pissed off as his eyebrows furrowed together.
"What kind of dumb fucking question is that?" he whispered, cursing under his breath. I opened my mouth to tell him I was sorry, but he quickly motioned for me to stay quiet.
"Look, I think you're the most beautiful person I've ever laid eyes on. Inside and out, Willow. I want you to read that note when you're alone, because I don't have the stability to watch you read it in front of me. But I want you to understand this right here and right now," he said, his breaths more erratic than before.
I believed my heart had stopped beating as his pupils dilated. He was intently looking me in the eyes as he continued, "I have never been drawn to a person as I'm drawn to you. When I saw you for the first time, I'd still see you when I'd look away. At first it pissed me off, but then I got addicted. I started wanting more things from you and I was willing to change my attitude for you, so you'd listen to me. More than anything, Willow, I wanted you to like me. I wanted you to be my friend. I wanted you to expect me every day. I wanted you to smile because of me. And there's more," he said, as he stepped a foot closer.
"But I can't say more out loud. I can only express so much out loud and it's because I'm adjusting to the person I want to be for you. And I apologize if this in its own is too much too soon, but you asked for it. You wanted this, so I'm telling you. I can't look you in the eyes anymore without giving you the truth somehow. The truth might scare you. The truth might make you regret everything that has developed between us, but it's what you need at this point. So I'm giving it to you. Please know that I am serious about this. I know we're adults and I know this is crazy, but all we can do is go with it for now."
I took deep and controlled breaths as we stared at each other for a few seconds. Through his tangent, he had walked up to me and he grabbed my face. I had never felt so overpowered, so moved by the words of a man. And I knew that whatever he had to say to me, but couldn't say out loud, it'd be better off on paper. I wanted to keep his words forever, go back and read them whenever, and even if we didn't end up together - I'd still have his words on paper.
"Wyatt, I don't know what to say to all of that, besides...thank you," I said.
He stroked my jawline with his thumb, his eyebrows furrowed in confusion. "Why 'thank you?'" he asked curiously.
"Thank you for wanting me, and expressing your feelings in more ways than you're used to."
"Was it too much?" he countered.
"Not even close," I answered.
He smiled a half-smile, and I watched him as he studied my face. "How could you ask such a ridiculous question? You have this gorgeous face," he said, before laying his hand over my chest. "You have this heart that cares for everyone, even the heartless. How could I not be attracted to you, Willow? There's nothing unattractive about you. Even your New Balance sneakers and your floral ankle socks are a turn-on for me," he suddenly grinned, and I smiled as I shook my head.
"Your thanksgiving-ham-thighs are sexy as fuck in those pants."
"Yeah?" he leaned down and kissed my lips once, but only for less than a second.
"Yeah, and your feet look better covered."
He chuckled, loudly. "That's not a compliment."
"It's not an insult, either," I pointed out.
He sighed, and all I could feel was the side of his hand, as he continuously caressed my cheek. Then he threaded his fingers in my hair. "You look sexy as fuck with your hair down. But you look sexy as fuck when it's up, too."
He kissed my neck once and I shivered.
"You know, people are going to start coming in for this hall, Wyatt. Maybe soon, like, within minutes. Are you sure you want to continue with this escapade?"
I kissed his lips hard, then he froze. "I guess we should get back to our boring lives. For now," he said.
"For now," I nodded.
He kissed me twice before backing away, but no tongue was involved. His lips alone were good enough, though I'd miss them throughout the day.
***
Don't forget to vote, comment, and FAN! - Cristy M.