ENGLISH AS SHE IS SPOKE
(O Novo Guia da Conversacao em Portuguez e Inglez)
By
Jose da Fonseca and Pedro Carolino
Introduction to the British edition
by
James Millington
FROM the time of Shakspere downwards, wits and authors
innumerable have made themselves and the public more or less merry
at the expense of the earlier efforts of the student of a strange
tongue; but it has been reserved to our own time for a soi-disant
instructor to perpetrate -- at his own expense -- the monstrous
joke of publishing a Guide to Conversation in a language of which
it is only too evident that every word is utterly strange to him.
The Teutonic sage who evolved the ideal portrait of an elephant
from his "inner consciousness" was a commonplace, matter-of-fact
person compared with the daring visionary who conjures up a
complete system of language from the same fertile but
untrustworthy source. The piquancy of Senhor Pedro Carolino's New
Guide of the Conversation in Portuguese and English is enhanced by
the evident bona fides and careful compilation of "the little
book," or as Pedro himself gravely expresses it, "for the care
what we wrote him, and for her typographical correction."
In short, the New Guide of the Conversation in Portuguese and
English was written with serious intent, and for the purpose of
initiating Portuguese students into the mysteries of the English
language. The earlier portions of the book are divided into three
columns, the first giving the Portuguese; the second what, in the
opinion of the author, is the English equivalent; and the third
the English equivalent phonetically spelt, so that the tyro may at
the same time master our barbarous phraseology and the
pronunciation thereof. In the second part of the work the learner
is supposed to have sufficiently mastered the pronunciation of the
English language, to be left to his own devices.
A little consideration of the shaping of our author's English
phrases leads to the conclusion that the materials used have been
a Portuguese-French phrase-book and a French-English dictionary.
With these slight impedimenta has the daring Lusitanian ventured
upon the unknown deep of a strange language, and the result, to
quote again from the Preface, "May be worth the acceptation of the
studious persons, and especially of the Youth, at which we
dedicate him particularly," but will at all events contribute not
a little to the Youth's hilarity.
To begin with the vocabulary; it is perhaps hardly fair to
expect a professor of languages to trouble himself with "Degrees
of Kindred," still, such titles as "Gossip mistress, a relation,
an relation, a guardian, an guardian, the quatergrandfather, the
quater-grandmother," require some slight elucidation, and passing
over the catalogue of articles of dress which are denominated
"Objects of Man" and "Woman Objects," one may take exception to
"crumbs" and "groceries," which are inserted among plates and
cruets as ordinary table garniture.
Among what are denominated "Eatings" we find "some wigs," "a
dainty dishes," "a mutton shoulder," "a little mine," "hog-fat,"
and "an amelet": the menu is scarcely appetising, especially when
among "Fishes and Shellfishes" our Portuguese Lucullus sets down
the "hedgehog," "snail," and "wolf." After this such trifles as
"starch" arranged under the heading of "Metals and Minerals," and
"brick" and "whitelead" under that of "Common Stones" fall almost
flat; but one would like to be initiated into the mysteries of
"gleek," "carousal," and "keel," which are gravely asserted to be
"Games." Among "Chivalry Orders" one has a glimmering of what is
intended by "Saint Michaelmas" and "Very-Merit"; but under the
heading of "Degrees," although by a slight exercise of the
imagination we can picture to ourselves "a quater master," "a
general to galeries," or even a "vessel captain," we are entirely
nonplussed by "a harbinger" and "a parapet."
Passing on to "Familiar Phrases," most of which appear to be
old friends with new faces, Senhor Carolino's literal cribs from
the French become more and more apparent, in spite of his boast in
the Preface of being "clean of gallicisms and despoiled phrases."
"Apply you at the study during that you are young" is doubtless an
excellent precept, and as he remarks further on "How do you can it
to deny"; but study may be misdirected, and in the moral, no less
than in the material world, it is useful to know "That are the
dishes whom you must be and to abstain"; while the meaning of
"This girl have a beauty edge" is scarcely clear unless it relates
to the preternatural acuteness of the fair sex in these days of
board schools and woman's rights.
Further on the conversationalist appears to get into rough
company, and we find him remarking "He laughs at my nose, he jest
by me," gallicé "Il me rit au nez, il se moque de moi"; "He has me
take out my hairs," "He does me some kicks," "He has scratch the
face with hers nails," all doubtless painfully translated with the
assistance of a French-English dictionary from "Il m'a arrachê des
cheveux," "Il me donne des coups de pied," "Il m'a laceré la
figure de ses ongles." It is noticeable that our instructor as a
rule endeavours to make the possessive pronoun agree with the
substantive in number and gender in orthodox Portuguese fashion,
and that like a true grammatical patriot he insists upon the
substantive having the same gender as in his native tongue;
therefore "as unhas "must be rendered "hers nails" and "vossas
civildades" "yours civilities." By this time no one will be
disposed to contradict our inimitable Pedro when he remarks "É
facéto," giving the translation as "He has the word for to laugh,"
a construction bearing a suspicious resemblance to "Il a le mot
pour rire." "He do the devil at four" has no reference to an
artful scheme for circumventing the Archfiend at a stated hour,
but is merely a simulacrum of the well-known gallic idiomatic
expression "Il fait le diable à quatre." Truly this is excellent
fooling; Punch in his wildest humour, backed by the whole colony
of Leicester Square, could not produce funnier English. "He burns
one's self the brains," "He was fighted in duel," "They fight
one's selfs together," "He do want to fall," would be more
intelligible if less picturesque in their original form of "Il se
brûle la cervelle," "Il s'est battu en duel," "Ils se battent
ensemble," "Il manque de tomber." The comic vein running through
the "Familiar Phrases" is so inexhaustible that space forbids
further quotation from this portion of the book, which may be
appropriately closed with "Help to a little most the better yours
terms," a mysterious adjuration, which a reference to the original
Portuguese leads one to suppose may be a daring guess at
"Choisissez un peu mieux vos paroles."
In the second part, entitled "Familiar Dialogues," the fun
grows fast and furious. Let us accompany our mad wag upon "The
walk." "You hear the bird's gurgling?" he enquires, and then
rapturously exclaims "Which pleasure! which charm! The field has
by me a thousand charms "; after this, to the question "Are you
hunter? will you go to the hunting in one day this week?" he
responds "Willingly; I have not a most pleasure in the world.
There is some game on they cantons." Proceeding from "game" to
"gaming" we soon run aground upon the word "jeu," which as we know
does duty in French both for a game and a pack of cards. "At what
pack will you that we does play?" "To the cards." Of course this
is "A quel jeu voulez vous que nous jouions? ""Aux cartes;" and
further on "This time I have a great deal pack," "Cette fois jai
un jeu excellent."
Now let us listen to our friend at his tailor's: his greeting
is perky -- almost slangy. "Can you do me a coat?" he enquires,
but quickly drivels down to "What cloth will you do to?" and then
to the question "What will you to double (doubler) the coat?"
obtains the satisfactory answer "From something of duration. I
believe to you that." After requesting to have his garment "The
rather that be possible," he overwhelms the procrastinating man of
cloth with the stern remark "You have me done to expect too,"
evidently a bold version of "Vous n'avez fait trop attendre,"
which draws forth the natural excuse "I did can't to come rather."
Passing by a number of good things which one would like to analyse
if space permitted, we arrive at "For to ride a horse," a fine
little bit of word painting almost Carlylean in its grotesqueness.
"Here is a horse who have a bad looks. He not sall know to march,
he is pursy, he is foundered. Don't you are ashamed to give me a
jade as like? he is undshoed, he is with nails up; it want to lead
to the farrier." "Let us prick (piquons) go us more fast, never I
was seen a so much bad beast; she will not nor to bring forward
neither put back." "Strek him the bridle," cries the horsedealer,
"Hold him the reins sharters." "Pique stron gly, make to marsh
him." "I have pricked him enough. But I can't to make marsh him,"
replies the indignant client. "Go down, I shall make marsh,"
declares the dealer; upon which the incensed equestrian rejoins
"Take care that he not give you a foot kicks," and the "coper"
sardonically but somewhat incoherently concludes with "Then he
kicks for that I look? Sook here if I knew to tame hix."
After the "Familiar Dialogues" we come upon a series of
letters from celebrated personages, who would be puzzled to
recognize themselves in their new dresses; and a collection of
anecdotes which may be taken singly after dinner as a gentle
promoter of digestion; the whole being appropriately concluded
with "Idiotisms and Proverbs," between which it must be confessed
the distinction is purely imaginary; the following are a few gems:
"Its are some blu stories "(contes bleus); "Nothing some money,
nothing some Swiss," "He sin in trouble water" (confusion of
pêcher and pécher.) "A horse baared don't look him the tooth,"
"The stone as roll not heap up not foam," mousse meaning both foam
and moss, of course the wrong meaning is essential to a good
"idiotism." "To force to forge, becomes smith" (a force de forger
on devient forgeron). "To craunch the marmoset "and "To fatten the
foot" may terminate the list, and are incontestably more idiotic,
although scarcely so idiomatic as "Croquer le marmot" and
"Graisser la patte."
The column in Portuguese which runs throughout the original
work is omitted, and only a sufficient number of the English
extracts are culled to enable the reader to form a just idea of
the unintentionally humorous style that an author may fall into
who attempts to follow the intricacies of "English as she is
spoke" by the aid of a French dictionary and a phrase-book.
It is to be trusted the eccentric "Guide" to which this short
sketch is intended to serve as Introduction -- and, so far as may
be, elucidation -- is not a fair specimen of Portuguese or
Brazilian educational literature; if such be the case the
schoolmaster is indeed "abroad," and one may justly fear that his
instruction -- to quote once more the Preface -- "only will be for
to accustom the Portuguese pupils or foreign, to speak very bad
any of the mentioned idioms."
Introduction to the U.S. edition
by
Mark Twain (Samuel Clemens)
In this world of uncertainties, there is, at any rate, one
thing which may be pretty confidently set down as a certainty: and
that is, that this celebrated little phrase-book will never die
while the English language lasts. Its delicious unconscious
ridiculousness, and its enchanting naiveté, as are supreme and
unapproachable, in their way, as are Shakespeare's sublimities.
Whatsoever is perfect in its kind, in literature, is imperishable:
nobody can imitate it successfully, nobody can hope to produce its
fellow; it is perfect, it must and will stand alone: its
immortality is secure.
It is one of the smallest books in the world, but few big
books have received such wide attention, and been so much pondered
by the grave and learned, and so much discussed and written about
by the thoughtful, the thoughtless, the wise, and the foolish.
Long notices of it have appeared, from time to time, in the great
English reviews, and in erudite and authoritative philological
periodicals; and it has been laughed at, danced upon, and tossed
in a blanket by nearly every newspaper and magazine in the
English-speaking world. Every scribbler, almost, has had his
little fling at it, at one time or another; I had mine fifteen
years ago. The book gets out of print, every now and then, and one
ceases to hear of it for a season; but presently the nations and
near and far colonies of our tongue and lineage call for it once
more, and once more it issues from some London or Continental or
American press, and runs a new course around the globe, wafted on
its way by the wind of a world's laughter.
Many persons have believed that this book's miraculous
stupidities were studied and disingenuous; but no one can read the
volume carefully through and keep that opinion. It was written in
serious good faith and deep earnestness, by an honest and upright
idiot who believed he knew something of the English language, and
could impart his knowledge to others. The amplest proof of this
crops out somewhere or other upon each and every page. There are
sentences in the book which could have been manufactured by a man
in his right mind, and with an intelligent and deliberate purposes
to seem innocently ignorant; but there are other sentences, and
paragraphs, which no mere pretended ignorance could ever achieve -
- nor yet even the most genuine and comprehensive ignorance, when
unbacked by inspiration.
It is not a fraud who speaks in the following paragraph of
the author's Preface, but a good man, an honest man, a man whose
conscience is at rest, a man who believes he has done a high and
worthy work for his nation and his generation, and is well pleased
with his performance: "We expect then, who the little book (for
the care what we wrote him, and for her typographical correction)
that may be worth the acceptation of the studious persons, and
especially of the Youth, at which we dedicate him particularly."
One cannot open this book anywhere and not find richness. To
prove that this is true, I will open it at random and copy the
page I happen to stumble upon. Here is the result:
DIALOGUE 16
For To See the Town
Anothony, go to accompany they gentlemen, do they see the town.
We won't to see all that is it remarkable here.
Come with me, if you please. I shall not forget nothing what can
to merit your attention. Here we are near to cathedral; will you
come in there?
We will first to see him in outside, after we shall go in there
for to look the interior.
Admire this master piece gothic architecture's.
The chasing of all they figures is astonishing' indeed.
The cupola and the nave are not less curious to see.
What is this palace how I see yonder?
It is the town hall.
And this tower here at this side?
It is the Observatory.
The bridge is very fine, it have ten arches, and is constructed of
free stone.
The streets are very layed out by line and too paved.
What is the circuit of this town?
Two leagues.
There is it also hospitals here?
It not fail them.
What are then the edifices the worthiest to have seen?
It is the arsnehal, the spectacle's hall, the Cusiomhouse, and the
Purse.
We are going too see the others monuments such that the public
pawnbroker's office, the plants garden's, the money office's, the
library.
That it shall be for another day; we are tired.
DIALOGUE 17
To Inform One'self of a Person
How is that gentilman who you did speak by and by?
Is a German.
I did think him Englishman.
He is of the Saxony side.
He speak the french very well.
Tough he is German, he speak so much well italyan, french, spanish
and english, that among the Italyans, they believe him Italyan, he
speak the frenche as the Frenches himselves. The Spanishesmen
believe him Spanishing, and the Englishes, Englishman.
It is difficult to enjoy well so much several langages.
The last remark contains a general truth; but it ceases to be
a truth when one contracts it and applies it to an individual --
provided that individual is the author of this book, Senhor Pedro
Carolino. I am sure I should not find it difficult "to enjoy well
so much several langages" -- or even a thousand of them -- if he
did the translating for me from the originals into his ostensible
English.
Author's Preface
A choice of familiar dialogues, clean of gallicisms, and
despoiled phrases, it was missing yet to studious portuguese and
brazilian Youth; and also to persons of others nations, that wish
to know the portuguese language. We sought all we may do, to
correct that want, composing and divising the present little work
in two parts. The first includes a greatest vocabulary proper
names by alphabetical order; and the second fourty three Dialogues
adapted to the usual precisions of the life. For that reason we
(lid put, with a scrupulous exactness, a great variety own
expressions to english and portuguese idioms; without to attach us
selves (as make some others) almost at a literal translation;
translation what only will be for to accustom the portuguese
pupils, or-foreign, to speak very bad any of the mentioned idioms.
We were increasing this second edition with a phraseology, in
the first part. and some familiar letters, anecdotes, idiotisms,
proverbs, and to second a coin's index.
The Works which we were confering for this labour, fond use
us for nothing; but those what were publishing to Portugal, or
out, they were almost all composed for some foreign, or for some
national little aquainted in the spirit of both languages. It was
resulting from that corelessness to rest these Works fill of
imperfections, and anomalies of style; in spite of the infinite
typographical faults which some times invert the sense of the
periods. It increase not to contain any of those Works the figured
pronunciation of the english words, nor the prosodical accent in
the portuguese: indispensable object whom wish to speak the
english and portuguese languages correctly.
We expect then, who the little book (for the care what we
wrote him. and for her typographical correction) that may he worth
the acceptation of the studious persons, and especialy of the
Youth, at which we dedicate him particularly.
Useful words
Of the Man.
The brain
The inferior lip
The brains
The superior lip
The fat of the leg
The marrow
The ham
The reins
Defects of the body.
A blind
A left handed
A lame
An ugly
A bald
A squint-eyed
A deaf
Degrees of kindred.
The gossip
The quater-grandfather
The gossip mistress
The quater-grandmother
The nurse
A guardian
An guardian
A relation
An relation
A widower
An widow
Trades.
Starch-maker
Barber
Coffeeman
Porkshop-keeper
Cartwright
Tinker, a brasier
Nailer
Porter
Chinaman
Founder
Grave-digger
Tradesman
Stockingmender
Lochsmith
Objects of man.
The boots
The buckles
The buttons-holes
The buskins
The clogs
The wig
The morning-gown, night-gown
The lining
Woman objects.
The busk
The sash
The cornet
The pump
The paint or disguise
The spindle
The patches
The skate
Servants.
Coochmann
Spendth
Running footman
Business-man
Groome.
Diseases.
The apoplexy
The megrime
The scrofulas
The whitlow
The melancholy
The rheumatisme
The vomitory.
Parties a Town.
The butchery
The low eating house
The cause-way
The obelis-ks
The sink
The prison, geol
Kitchen utensils.
The skimming-dish
The spark
The potlid
The fire
The pothanger
The smoke
The spunge
The clout
The jack.
Of the bed.
The bed wood
The feet's bed
The bed battom
The pillar's bed
The head's bed
For the table.
Some knifes
Some groceries
Some crumb.
Eatings.
Some black pudding
Some suger-plum
Some wigs
A chitterling sausages
A dainty-dishes
A mutton shoulder
A little mine
Hog fat
Some marchpanes
An amelet
A slice, steak
Vegetables boiled to a pap
Seasonings.
Some wing
Some cinnamon
Some oranges
Some pinions
Some hog'slard
Some verjuice
Drinkings.
Some orgeat
Some paltry wine
Some sirup or sirop
Quadruped's beasts.
Lamb
Ass
Shi ass
Ass-colt
Ram, aries
Rocbuck
Dragon
Wild sow
Lioness
Dormouse
Birds.
Becafico
Calendar
Stor
Yeung turkey
Heuth-cock
Whoop
Pea cock
Pinch
Red-breast, a robin.
Insects-reptiles
Asp, aspic
Morpion
Fly
Butter fly
Serpent.
Fishes and shell-fishes
Calamary
Dorado
A sorte of fish
Hedge hog
Large lobster
Muscles
Snail
Wolf
Torpedo
Sea-calf.
Trees.
Lote-tree, lotos
Chest-nut tree
Service-tree
Jujube-tree
Linden-tree.
Flowers.
Anemony
Blue-bottle
Mil-foils
Hink
Turnsol
Hunting.
Hunting, dog
Relay dog
Hound dog
Hound's fee
Picker
Gun-powder
Priming powder
Hunts man
Colours.
White
Cray
Gridelin
Musk
Red
Metals and minerals.
Starch
Cooper
Latten
Plaster
Vitriole
Common stones.
Loadstones
Brick
White lead
Gum-stone
Touchstone
Weights.
Counterpoise
A pound an half
An obole
A quater ounce
Games.
Foot-ball
Bar
Gleek
Carousal
Pile
Mall
Even or non even
Keel
Perfumes.
Benzoin
Perfume paw
Pomatum
Storax
On the church.
The sides of the nef
The holywater-pot
The little cellar
The boby of the church
Solemn-feasts.
The Deads-day
The Twelfth-day
The vigil
The Visitation
Ecclesiastical dignities.
Incumbent
Canon
Canoness
Chanter, a clerk
General of an order
Penitentiary
Theologist
General curate
Chivalry orders.
Black eagle
Avis, advice
Calatrava
Elephant
Honour Legion
Saint Michaelmas
Very-merit
Degrees.
A cannoneer
A vessel captain
A harbinger
A parapet
A army general
A general to galeries
A great admiral
A king a lieutenant
A quater master
A vice admiral's ship
Military objects.
The bait
An arquebuse
A bandoleer
The fire pan
A bomb ketch
The military case
A fusil, a gun.
Music's instruments.
A flagelet
A dreum
A hurdy-gurdy.
Chastisements.
A fine
Honourable fine
Bastinade
The dungeon
The iron collar
To decapitate
To empale
To strangle
To whip
The galleys
To stamp, to mark
To handcuff
Imprisonment
The torture rack
To break upon
Tho tear off the flesh
To draw to four horses.
Familiar Phrases
Go to send for.
Have you say that?
Have you understand that he says?
At what purpose have say so?
Put your confidence in my.
At what o'clock dine him?
Apply you at the study during that you are young.
Dress your hairs.
Sing an area.
These apricots and these peaches make me and to come water in the
mouth.
How do you can it to deny?
Wax my shoes.
This is that I have think.
That are the dishes whose you must be and to abstain.
This meat ist not too over do.
This ink is white.
This room is filled of bugs.
This girl have a beauty edge.
It is a noise which to cleave the head.
This wood is fill of thief's.
Tell me, it can one to know?
Give me some good milk newly get out.
To morrow hi shall be entirely (her master) or unoccupied.
She do not that to talk and to cackle.
Dry this wine.
He laughs at my nose, he jest by me.
He has spit in my coat.
He has me take out my hairs.
He does me some kicks.
He has scratch the face with hers nails.
He burns one's self the brains.
He is valuable his weight's gold.
He has the world for to laugh.
He do the devil at four.
He make to weep the room.
He was fighted in duel.
They fight one's selfs together.
He do want to fall.
It must never to laugh of the unhappies.
He was wanting to be killed.
I am confused all yours civilities.
I am catched cold.
I not make what to coughand spit.
Never have I feeld a such heat.
Till say-us?
Till hither.
I have put my stockings outward.
I have croped the candle.
I have mind to vomit.
I will not to sleep on street.
I am catched cold in the brain.
I am pinking me with a pin.
I dead myself in envy to see her.
I take a broth all morning.
I shall not tell you than two woods.
Have you understanded?
Let him have know?
Have you understand they?
Do you know they?
Do you know they to?
The storm is go over.
The sun begins to dissipe it.
Witch prefer you?
The paving stone is sliphery.
The thunderbolt is falling down.
The rose-trees begins to button.
The ears are too length.
The hands itch at him.
Have you forgeted me?
Lay him hir apron.
Help-to a little most the better yours terms.
Dont you are awaken yet?
That should must me to cost my life.
We are in the canicule.
No budge you there.
Do not might one's understand to speak.
Where are their stockings, their shoes, her shirt and her
petlicot?
One's can to believe you?
One's find-modest the young men rarely.
If can't to please at every one's.
Take that boy and whip him to much.
Take attention to cut you self.
Take care to dirt you self.
Dress my horse.
Since you not go out, I shall go out nor I neither.
That may dead if I lie you.
What is it who want you?
Why you no helps me to?
Upon my live.
All trees have very deal bear.
A throat's ill.
You shall catch cold one's.
You make grins.
Will some mutton?
Will you fat or slight?
Will you this?
Will you a bon?
You not make who to babble.
You not make that to prate all day's work.
You interompt me.
You mistake you self heavily.
You come too rare.
Familiar Dialogues
For to wish the good morning.
How does your father do?
He is very well.
I am very delight of it. Were is it?
I shall come back soon, I was no came that to know how you are.
For make a visit in the morning.
Is your master at home?
Yes, sir.
Is it up.
No, sir, he sleep yet.
I go make that he get up.
It come in one's? How is it, you are in bed yet?
Yesterday at evening, I was to bed so late that I may not rising
me soon that morning.
Well! what you have done after the supper?
We have sung, danced, laugh and played.
What game?
To the picket.
Whom I am sorry do not have know it!
Who have prevailed upon?
I had gained ten lewis.
Till at what o'clock its had play one?
Un till two o'clock after mid night.
At what o'clock are you go to bed.
Half pass three.
I am no astonished if you get up so late.
What o'clock is it?
What o'clock you think it is?
I think is not yet eight o'clock.
How is that, eight o'clcok! it is ten 'clock struck.
It must then what I rise me quickly.
Adieu, my deer, I leave you. If can to see you at six clock to the
hotel from ***, we swill dine togetter.
Willingly. Good by.
For to dress him self.
John, make haste, lighted the fire and dress-me.
Give me my shirt.
There is it sir.
Is it no hot, it is too cold yet.
If you like, I will hot it.
No, no, bring me my silk stocking's.
Its are make holes.
Make its a point, or make to mend them.
Comb me, take another comb. Give me my handkarchief.
There is a clean, sir.
What coat dress you to day?
Those that I had yesterday.
The tailor do owe to bring soon that of cloth.
Have you wexed my shoes?
I go wex its now.
It must that I may wash my hands, the mouth and my face.
The walk.
Will you and take a walk with me?
Wait for that the warm be out.
Go through that meadow. Who the country is beautiful! who the
trees are thick!
Take the bloom's perfume.
It seems me that the corn does push alredy.
You hear the bird's gurgling?
Which pleasure! Which charm!
The field has by me a thousand charms.
Are you hunter? will you go to the hunting in one day this week?
Willingly; I have not a most pleasure in the world. There is some
game on they cantons?
We have done a great walk.
The weather.
We shall have a fine weather to day.
There is some foggy.
I fear of the thunderbolt.
The sun rise on.
The sun lie down.
It is light moon's.
For to write.
It is to day courier's day's; I have a letter to write.
At which does you write?
Is not that? look one is that.
This letter is arrears.
It shall stay to the post. This pen are good for notting. During I
finish that letter, do me the goodness to scal this packet; it is
by my cousin.
How is the day of the month?
The two, the three, the four, etc.
That is some letter to me.
Go to bear they letter to the post.
The gaming.
Do you like the gaming?
At what pack will you that we does play?
To the cards.
Waiter, give us a card's game.
What is the trump?
The club's king.
Play, if you please.
The heart's aces.
We do ought.
This time I have a great deal pack.
With the tailor.
Can you do me a coat?
What cloth will you do to?
From a stuff what be of season.
Six ells.
What will you to double the coat?
From something of duration. I believe to you that.
When do you bring me my coat?
The rather that be possible.
Bring you the coat?
Yes, sir, there is it.
You have me done to expect too.
I did can't to come rather.
It don't are finished?
The lining war not sewd.
It is so that do one's now.
Button me.
It pinches me too much upon stomack.
The sleeves have not them great deal wideness?
No, sir, they are well.
With a hair dresser.
Your razors, are them well?
Yes, Sir.
Comb-me quickly; don't put me so much pomatum. What news tell me?
all hairs dresser are newsmonger.
Sir, I have no heared any thing.
For to breakfast.
John bring us some thing for to breakfast.
Yes, Sir; there is some sousages. Will you than I bring the ham?
Yes, bring-him, we will cut a steak put a nappe clothe on this
table.
I you do not eat?
How you like the tea.
It is excellent.
Still a not her cup.
For to ask some news.
It is true what is told of master M***?
Then what is told of him?
I have heard that he is hurt mortally.
I shall be sowow of it, because he is an honestman.
Which have wounden him?
The noise run that is by to have given a box on the ear to a of
them.
For to buy.
I won't have a good and fine cloth to make a coat.
How much do you sell it the ell?
We thout overcharge you from a halfpenny, it cost twenty franks.
Sir, I am not accustomed to cheapen: tell me the last price.
I have told you, sir, it is valuable in that.
It is too much dear, I give at it, eighteen franks.
You shall not have what you have wished.
You did beg me my last word, I told you them.
Well, well, cut them two ells.
Don't you will not more?
No, at present.
For to dine.
Go to dine, the dinner is ready.
Cut some bread; here is it, I don't know that boiled meat is good.
Gentilman, will you have some beans?
Peter, uncork a Porto wine bottle.
Sir, what will you to?
Some pears, and apples, what wilt you?
Taste us rather that liquor, it is good for the stomach.
I am too much obliged to you, is done.
For to speak french.
How is the french? Are you too learned now?
I could to tell some word's that I know by heart.
Not apprehend you, the french language is not difficult.
I know it, and she have great deal of agreement. Who I would be.
If I was know it!
It must to study for to learn it. How long there is it what you
learn it?
It is not yet a month.
How is called your master?
It is called N***.
I know him it is long; he has teached a many of my friends. Don't
he tell you that it must to speak french?
For to see the town.
Anothony, go to accompany they gentlemen, do they see the town.
We won't to see all that is it remarkable here.
Come with me, if you please. I shall not forget nothing what can
to merit your attention. Here we are near to cathedral; will you
come in there?
We will first to see him in outside, after we shall go in there
for to look the interior.
Admire this master piece gothic architecture's.
The chasing of all they figures is astonishing' indeed.
The cupola and the nave are not less curious to see.
What is this palace how I see yonder?
It is the town hall.
And this tower here at this side?
It is the Observatory.
The bridge is very fine, it have ten arches, and is constructed of
free stone.
The streets are very layed out by line and too paved.
What is the circuit of this town?
Two leagues.
There is it also hospitals here?
It not fail them.
What are then the edifices the worthiest to have seen?
It is the arsnehal, the spectacle's hall, the Cusiomhouse, and the
Purse.
We are going too see the others monuments such that the public
pawnbroker's office, the plants garden's, the money office's, the
library.
That it shall be for another day; we are tired.
To inform one'self of a person.
How is that gentilman who you did speak by and by.
Is a German.
Tongh he is German, he speak so much well italyan, french,
spanish, and english, that among the Italyans, they believe him
Italyan, he speak the frenche as the Frenches himselves. The
Spanishesmen belie ve him Spanishing, and the Englishes,
Englisman.
It is difficult to enjoy well so much several languages.
For to ride a horse.
Here is a horse who have a bad looks. Give me another; I will not
that. He not sall know to march, he is pursy, he is foundered.
Don't you are ashamed to give me a jade as like? he is undshoed,
he is with nails up; it want to lead to the farrier.
Your pistols are its loads?
No; I forgot to buy gun-powder and balls. Let us prick. Go us more
fast never I was seen a so much bad beast; she will not nor to
bring forward neither put back.
Strek him the bridle, hold him the reins sharters. Pique stron
gly, make to marsh him.
I have pricked him enough. But I can't to make march him.
Go down, I shall make march.
Take care that he not give you a foot kick's.
Then he kicks for that I look? Sook here if I knew to tame hix.
With a watch maker.
I bring you a watch that want to be ordered.
I had the misfortune to leave fall down the instant where I did
mounted, it must to put again a glass.
I want not a pendulum? I have them here some very good.
Don't you live me her proof againts? I shall not accept this
condition.
For to visit a sick.
How have you passed the night?
Very bad. I have not sleeped; I have had the fever during all
night. I fell some pain every where body.
Live me see your tongue. Have you pain to the heart?
Are you altered?
Yes, I have thursty often.
Your stat have nothing from lrouble some.
What I may to eat?
You can take a broth.
Can I to get up my self?
Yes, during a hour or two.
Let me have another thing to do?
Take care to hold you warme ly, and in two or three days you shall
be cured.
For to travel.
Where you go so?
I am going to Cadiz.
Have you already arrested a coach?
Yes, sir, and very cheap.
There is it some danger on the highway?
It is not spoken that.
They speak not that may have some robbers on the woods?
It have nothing to fear, or in day neither the night.
Don't we does pass for a***?
No, sir, they leave it to left.
Let us take patience, still some o'clock, and we shall be in the
end of our voyage.
With a inn keeper.
What you give us for to take supper.
Gentlemen, what you will have.
Give us a pigeon couple, a piece of ham and a salad.
What have us expended?
The accout mount in little the supper, the bed and the breakfast,
shall get up at thirty franks.
From the house-keeping.
I don't know more what I won't with they servants.
I tell the same, it is not more some good servants. Any one take
care to sweep up neither to make fire at what I may be up.
How the times are changed! Anciently I had some servants who were
divine my thought. The duty was done at the instant, all things
were cleanly hold one my look on the furnitures now as you do see.
It is too different, whole is covered from dust; the pier-glasses
side-boards, the pantries, the chests of drawers, the walls
selves, are changed of colours.
Believe me, send again whole the people; I take upon my self to
find you some good servants for to succeed them.
Ah! what I shall be oblige to you of it!
For the comedy.
Were you go to the theatre yesterday?
Yes, sir; I won't to see the new play in which did owed to play
and actress which has not appeared on any theatre.
How you think her?
She has very much grace in the deeds great deal of exactness on
the declamation, a constitution very agreeable, and a delightful
voice.
What you say of the comedy? Have her succeded? It was a drama; it
was whistted to the third scene of the last act.
Because that?
It whant the vehicle, and the intrigue it was bad conducted.
So that they won't waited even the upshot?
No, it was divined. In the mean time them did diliver justice to
the players which generaly have play very well.
At the exception by a one's self, who had land very much hir's
part.
It want to have not any indulgence towards the bat buffoons.
Have you seen already the new tragedy? They praise her very much.
It is multitude already.
Never I had seen the parlour so full.
This actor he make very well her part.
That piece is full of interest.
It have wondered the spectadors.
The curtains let down.
Go out us.
The hunting.
There is it some game in this wood?
Another time there was plenty some black beasts and thin game, but
the poachers have killed almost all.
Look a hare who run! let do him to pursue for the hounds! it go
one's Here that it rouse. Let aim it! let make fire him!
I have put down killed.
Me, I have failed it; my gun have miss fixe.
I see a hind.
Let leave to pass away, don't disturte it.
I have heard that it is plenty pardriges this year.
Have you killed also some thrushes.
Here certainly a very good hunting.
The fishing.
That pond it seems me many multiplied of fishes. Let us amuse
rather to the fishing.
I do like-it too much.
Here, there is a wand and some hooks.
Silence! there is a superb perch! Give me quick the rod. Ah! there
is, it is a lamprey.
You mistake you, it is a frog! dip again it in the water.
With a furniture tradesman.
It seems no me new.
Pardon me, it comes workman's hands.
Which hightness want you its?
I want almost four feet six thumbs wide's, over seven of long.
For embarking one's self.
Don't you fear the privateers!
I jest of them; my vessel is armed in man of war, I have a
vigilant and courageous equipage, and the ammunitions don't want
me its.
Never have you not done wreck?
That it is arrived me twice.
With a gardener.
Shall I eat some plums soon?
It is not the season yet; but here is some peaches what does ripen
at the eye sight.
It delay me to eat some wal nuts-kernals; take care not leave to
pass the season.
Be tranquil, I shall throw you any nuts during the shell is green
yet.
The artichoks grow its?
I have a particular care of its, because I know you like the
bottoms.
It must to cut the trees.
It should pull the bad grasses up.
The books and of the reading.
Do you like the reading good deal too many which seem me?
That is to me a amusement.
The field.
All the fields that you see thither were been neglected; it must I
shall grub up and to plough its.
The ground seems me a little scour with sand and yet it may one
make it bring up; I want be fumed time by time.
The writing.
Your pens have any notches, and its spit.
How do you like its? will you its are fine or broad?
I won't me also a wafer or some sealing wax and a seal.
In this drawer, there is all that, fading stick, rule, scraper,
saud, etc.
There is the postman I go to put it him again.
With a bookseller.
What is there in new's litterature?
Little or almost nothing, it not appears any thing of note.
And yet one imprint many deal.
But why, you and another book seller, you does not to imprint some
good wooks?
There is a reason for that, it is that you cannot to sell its. The
actual-liking of the public is depraved they does not read who for
to amuse one's self ant but to instruct one's.
But the letter's men who cultivate the arts and the sciences they
can't to pass without the books.
A little learneds are happies enough for to may to satisfy their
fancies on the literature.
I have only been able to procure the octo-decimo edition, which is
embellished with plates beautifully coloured.
With a dentist.
I have the teetht-ache.
Is it a fluxion, or have you a bad tooth?
I think that is a bad tooth; please you to examine my mouth?
You have a bad tooth; will you pull out this tooth?
I can't to decide me it, that make me many great deal pain.
Your tooth is absolutely roted; if you leave it; shall spoil the
others.
In such case draw it.
I shall you neat also your mouth, and you could care entertain it
clean, for to preserve the mamel of the teeth; I could give you a
opiate for to strengthen the gums.
I thank you; I prefer the only means, which is to rinse the mouth
with some water, or a little brandy.
With a laundress.
Who lhat be too washed, too many soaped, and the shirts put
through the buck.
You may be sure; never I do else.
For to swim.
I row upon the belly on the back and between two waters.
I am not so dexte rous that you.
Nothing is more easy than to swim; it do not what don't to be
afraid of.
The french language.
Do you study?
Yes, sir, I attempts to translate of french by portuguese.
Do you know already the principal grammars rules?
I am appleed my self at to learn its by heart.
Do speak french alwais?
Some times; though I flay it yet.
You jest, you does express you self very well.
FAMILIAR LETTERS
Boileau to Racine.
I can't, my dear sir, to express you my surprise; and though
I might had the greatest hopes of the world, I was not leave yet
to challenge my self of the fortune of Master the Dean. Are you
who have hall do, since it is to you than we owe the happy
protection of Mistress of Maintenon. All my embarrassment it is to
know as I will discharge my so much obligations what I ought you.
Adieu, my dear sir, believe me don't there is any body which
love you more sincerely, neither by more reasons as me.
Fenelon at the Lady the Marchioness of Lambert.
I was indebeted already too much, my lady, at M. of Sacy,
since he had to procure the reading of an excellent writing; but
the debt is very encrease from he have attractet me the very kind
letter which you did honoured to write me. I cannot at last, my
lady, to be indebted to you selve the reading of second work?
Besides the first do wish very much, I shall be to admiration to
receive this mark of kindness what you will so kind to promise me.
It is with the most sincere respect that I am perfectly, and
ever, your, etc.
Racine to M. Vitart.
My uncle what will to treat her beshop in a great
sumptuousness, he was go Avignon for to buy what one not should
find there, and he had leave me the charge to provide all things.
I have excellent business, as you see, and I know some thing more
than to eat my soup, since I know do to prepare it. I did learn
that it must give to the first, to second and to the third
service, by dishes that want to join, and yet some thing more;
because we does pretend make a feast at four services without to
account the dessert.
Good bye, my dear sir, etc.
Madam of Simian at Master D***.
One told me last night you had been call honoray's counsellor
by the parliament. I give you my compliments, sir. It is you to
put there a just value, and at to proportion him to this respect.
It seems me that place it was owed you of right, and that event is
of most single: but I will so you could know who front the
smallest till to the highest thing all that look to you touch on
and interest me extremely.
Fontenelle to the Poland's king Stanislaus.
Sire,
Think you of the my gratitude of the grace Your Majesty made
me granting my self a place in their Nancy's academy, for the idea
I have of her! I think me on the like care what the emperor
Marcus-Aurelius was admited me at a company what he might take
care to establish and to form him-self.
Madam of Sevigné at their daughter.
I write you every day: it is a jay which give me most
favourable at all who beg me some letters. They will to have them
for to appear before you, and me I don't ask better. That shall be
given by M. D***. I don't know as he is called; but at last it is
a honest man, what seems me to have spirit, and that me have seen
here together.
Voltaire at M. of Alembert.
My most dear philosopher, I am induce to pray you to wake
give to the M. abbot of Espagnac the panegyrist charge of saint
Lowis for the next year. If you can it you shall do a good action,
which I shall be too much obliged to you.
Mothe to the duchess of the Maine
My lady, I have a complaint to present you. So much happy
that might be one's self, one have not all theirs eases in this
world. Your letters are shortest. You have plaied wonderfully all
sentiments; less her prattle, etc.
Rousseau to M. Boulet.
With a single friend as you, sir, should be one's self a
lways quiet, if the acknowledgment was exclude the confusion. The
mine grow to the sight of yours kindnesses. It is true that having
now, by to serv me, three or four persons that it must to main
tain and to pay them, I went some a heps; but I went not that of
the fourth part what you send me. I am too much better, but I saw
not to keep as a fillet so thin what the attachement at the idle
trashes from that world. There it a moment, sir, where all fancy
disappear, and to the appiness what one owe to content one's self
to work.
Flechier a Mm of the Roure.
More I was impatient, madam, at do you my compliment on your
wedding; more pleasure I have to do you to day. The heaven was
seems, since several years, to go for or to prepare you a husband
who might be worthy you. It was give you at him: the happyness it
is like of one and another pars. Think which benedictions shalt be
followed the union of two hearts well matched!
Madam of Maintenon to her brother.
I have show to the King what you had write me in their
accident; he huve received as you may desire. He leave the scarf
to day, and he is thank God, in good health.
Here is the answer of M. Pelletier, which you send your
letter, for My-lord, which will not to receive no-body. He show a
admirable wisdom and moderation, and every one is admiration of
see him where he is; never was been a choice more approved. We
shall see on the prosperity shall be spoil him.
Rejoice you, my dear friend, but innocently. Think of the other
live, and prepare as to pass there with most confidence that we
may do.
Montesquieu to the abbot Nicolini.
Allow me, my dear abbot, who I remind me of your friendship.
I recommend you M. of the Condamine. I shall tell you nothing,
else he is a of my friends. Her great celebrity may tell you from
others things, and her presenee will say you the remains. My dear
abbot, I will love you even the death.
ANECDOTES
Siward, duke of Northumberland, being very ill, though, he
was unworthy of their courage to expect the death in a bed, he
will die the arms on the hands. As he felt to approach herlast
hour he was commanded to hers servants to arm of all parts, and
they were put him upon a armchair, keeping the bare-sword. He was
challenged the death as a blusterer.
- - * - -
Cuttler, a very rich man too many avaricious, commonly he was
travel at a horse, and single for to avoid all expenses. In the
evening at to arrive at the inn did feign to be indispose, to the
end that one bring him the supper. He did ordered to the stable
knave to bring in their room some straw, for to put in their boots
he made to warm her bed and was go lo sleep. When the servant was
draw again, he come up again, and with the straw of their boots,
and the candle what was leave him he made a small fire where he
was roast a herring what he did keep of her pocket. He was always
the precaution one to provide him self of a small of bread and one
bring up a water bottle, and thus with a little money.
- - * - -
A blind did hide five hundred crowns in a corner of their
garden; but a neighbour, which was perceive it, did dig up and
took its. The blind not finding more her money, was suspect that
might be the robed, but one work for take again it? He was going
find the neighbour, and told him that he came to get him a
council; than he was a thousand crowns which the half was hided
into a sure part and I don't know if want, if to put the remains
to the same part. The neighbour was council him so and was hasten
to carry back that sum, in the hope soon to draw out a thousand.
But the blind having finded the money, was seized it, having
called her neighbour, he told him: "Gossip, the blind saw clearer
than this that may have two eyes."
- - * - -
A man one's was presented at a magistrate which had a
considerable library. "What you make?" beg him the magistrate. "I
do some books," he was answered. "But any of your books I did not
seen its. — I believe it so, was answered the author; I mak
nothing for Paris. From a of my works is imprinted, I send the
edition for America; I don't compose what to colonies."
- - * - -
The Genoa republic, having dared to brave Lewis XIV, was
forced to send at France, for to excuse him self to the monarch,
the doge accompanied of four senators, who was without exemple.
One was done see to this doge Versailles into all her splendour;
then one did beg him what was strike him more in that enchanted
side: "It is to meet my self thither," he was answered.
- - * - -
One eyed was laied against a man which had good eyes that he
saw better than him. The party was accepted. "I had gain, over
said the one eyed; why I see you two eyes, and you not look me who
one.
- - * - -
A english lord was in their bed, tormented cruelly of the
gout, when was announced him a pretended physician, which had a
remedy sure against that illness. "That doctor came in coach or on
foot?" was request the lord. "On foot," was answered him the
servant. "Well, was replied the sick, go tell to the knave what go
back one's self, because if he was the remedy, which he exalt him
self, he should roll a coach at six horses, and I would be send
for him my self and to offer him the half part of my lands for to
be delivered of my sickness."
- - * - -
The actor Dominick seing present one's self to a supper of
Lewis XIV, he had the eyes fixed over a certain plat of
partridges. That prince, who had perceived it, told to the officer
which was taken away: "Who one give this plat to the Dominick. —
What, sir! and the partridges also?" Thus Dominick, for this
dexterous request, have had, with the partridges, the plat, which
was of gold.
- - * - -
A first actor of the Opera seing fall sick in the time from a
new representation, was choiced for to succeed him, a subaltern
actor. This sang, and was whistled; but, without to be
disconcerted, he had looked fixedly the parterre and told him: "I
don't conceive you; and you ought to imagine than, for six hundred
pounds that I receive every year, I shall go to give you a voice
of thousand crowns?"
- - * - -
A duchess accused of magic being interrogated for a
commissary extremely unhandsome, this was beg him setae one she
had look the devil. 'Yes, sir, 1 did see him, was answer the
duchess, and he was like you as two water's drops."
- - * - -
A little master frizzeled, perfumed and covered of gold, had
leaded to the church, for to marry, a coquethish to the dye
glistening the parson, having considered a minute that disfigured
couple, told him: "Now before to pronounce the coujungo, let avow
me for fear of quiproquo, which from both is the bride?
- - * - -
One told to a religious, already at to ambark one's self on
the sea: "Don't torment you of any thing in a storm, as long as
the sailors, shall jure and will blaspheme: but they could
embrace, if they beg pardon reciprocally tremble you." This
religious scarce at sea, that had raised a storm. The good father
uneasy, was send some times a companion of their order to the
hatchway, to the end what he might bring back him the discourse of
the sailors. "Ah! my dearest father, all is lost, the brother come
to tell him; these unappies made horrible imprecations, you would
trembled to hear them; theirs blasphemes only are enough formake
be lose the vessel. — God be loved, told the father! go, all shall
go well"
- - * - -
A traveller, which a storm had benumb of cold, he come in a
field's inn, and find it so fill of companies that he cannot to
approach of the chimney. "What carry to the my horse a oyster's
basket," tell him to the host. "to your horse cry out this. Do you
think that he wake eating them? — Make what I command you," reply
the gentleman. At the words, all the assistants run to the stable,
and our traveller he get warm him self. Gentleman, tell the host
coming again, I shall have lay it upon my head the horse will not
it. — So, take again the traveller, which was very warmed one's,
then it must that I eat them."
- - * - -
A protestant minister, very choleric, was explained to the
children the Pentateuco; but arriving at the article Balaam. A
young boy commence to laugh. The minister with indignation, chide,
threaten, and endeavour one's to prove that a ass was can speak
especeallywhen he saws before him a angel armed from a sword. The
little boy continue to laungh more strong. The minister had flied
into passion, and give a kick the child, which told him weeping:
"Ah! I admit that the ass of Balaam did spoken, but he not did
kicks."
- - * - -
A such gentleman, noble as the catholic king and as the pope,
but poor as Job, was arrived for night into a France village where
there is not that a single inn. As it was more midnight, he knock
long to the door from that inn before to may awake the host; in
end, he did get uphim, by dint of hubbut. "Who is there?" cry the
host for window. "It is, told the Espagnishman, don Juan-Pedro-
Fermandez-Rodriguez of Villa-Nova, conde of Badajoz, caballero de
Santiago y d'Alcantara." The host was answered him immediately in
skating the window. "Sir, I feel too mach, but we have not rooms
enough for to lodge all these gentlemen."
- - * - -
A young man to which Cornelius made agreeded her daughter in
marriage, being obliged for the state of theirs business to
renounce that, come in the morning to the fatter for draw out her
wood go till her cabinet, and expose him the motives of her
conduit. "Ah! gentleman, reply Cornelius, don't you can without
interrup me, to talk of that at my wife? Go up to the her room, I
not unterstand at all these affairs."
- - * - -
Two friends who from long they not were seen meet one's
selves for hazard. "How do is thou? told one of the two. — No very
well, told the other, and I am married from that I saw thee." Good
news! — "Not quit, because I had married with a bad woman." — So
much worse! "Not so much great deal worse; because her dower was
from two thousand lewis." — Well, that comfort. —"Not absolutely;
why I had emploied this sum for to buy some muttons, which are all
dead, of the rot." — That is indeed very sorry! —" Not so sorry,
because the selling of hers hide have bring me above the price of
the muttons." — So you are then indemnified?" Not quit, because my
house where I was deposed my money, finish to be consumed by the
flames." — Oh I here is a great misfortune! — "Not so great nor I
either, because my wife and my house are burned together."
- - * - -
A man of the court being very ill and charged from debts,
told to her confessor, what the single grace which he had to beg
to God was that migh please to prolong her life even what he might
have paied all that he did indebt. — "This motive is so good,
answer the confessor, that there is occasion to stop who God hear
favourable your prayer. Wither God made me that grace, was
answered the sick, I would be immortal."
- - * - -
A Lady, which was to dine, chid to her servant that she not
had used butter enough. This girl, for to excuse him selve, was
bing a little cat on the hand, and told that she came to take him
in the crime, finishing to eat the two pounds from butter who
remain. The Lady took immediately the cat, was put into the
balances it had not weighed that one an half pound.
- - * - -
A tavern-keeper not had fail to tell theirs boys, spoken of
these which drank at home since you will understand: — "Those
gentlemen to sing in chorus, give them the less quality's wine."
- - * - -
A countryman which came through to Paris upon the bridge to
the change, not had perceived merchandises in several shops. The
curiosity take him, he come near of a exchange desk: — "Sir, had
he beg from a look simple, tell me what you sell." The loader
though that he may to divert of the personage: — "I sell, was
answered him ass's heads." — "Indeed, reply to him the countryman,
you make of it a great sale, because it not remains more but one
in your shop."
- - * - -
The sophist Zenon, the most hardy of all men at to sustain
some paradoxes, was denied one day, before Diogenes, the evidence
of the motion. This was put him self immediately to make two or
three turns in the session-house.
- - * - -
The commander Forbin of Janson being at a repast with a
celebrated Boileau, had undertaken to pun him upon her name:—
"What name, told-him, carry you thither? Boileau; I would wish
better to call me Drink wine." The poet was answered him in the
same tune: — "And you, sir, what name have you choice? Janson; I
should prefer to be named John-Meal. The meal don't is valuable
better than the furfur?"
- - * - -
Santeuil, afterwards to have read one of theirs hymnes at two
friends, was cried of a tone of a demoniac: —" Here is what may
call verses! Virgil and Horatio was imagined that no body, after
them, not did dare to compose some verses in their language. It is
sure that these two princes of the latin poesy, after to have cut
for to tell so, the orange in two, and to have pressed it, have
throwed out it; but I ran next to the orange, crying wait for: Sir
Mantua poet, and you favourite from Marinas, expect; I will to do
it in tests."
- - * - -
A gentleman of the court, great joker of nature, was resolved
to delay a hold courtier, and to ask him what may signify these
three words: trifle, obole, and parable. The courtier that he had
provoked, and which had beak and nails, he had answer him wit hout
hesitate; "Trifle, it is what you say; obole, it is what you are
valuable, and parabola, it is what we not understand nor you
either me."
- - * - -
Alexander, was see to work Apelles in their work-shop, and
was resolved to speak painting. But he had play of very bad,
Apelles told him laughing: "Be quite, my lord, you does to laugh
the boys which grind the colours."
- - * - -
A physician eighty years of age had enjoied of a health
unalterable. Theirs friends did him of it compliments every days:
"Mister doctor, they said to him, you are admirable man. What you
make then for to bear you as well? -- I shall tell you it,
gentleman he was answered them, and I exhort you in same time at
to follow my exemple. I live of the product of my ordering without
take any remedy who I command to my sicks."
- - * - -
Two fines spirits of profession both two greats philosophers
and warm disputers, were to dine to France marshal who, satisfied
to be a good warrior, did not offended him self not quite to be
learned, to the middle of the entertainment, here are my
philosophers to be fighting; they begin at to animate one's one
gainst other, and keep him upon a tone which had get out of the
bounds from a dissertation. The marshal seing who the contest was
degenerate in a quarelle, he had put silence at two fine spirits,
telling them bluntly: "Demon! gentlemen, go take and wolk with
your contests; will you do me rediculous in the world? They shall
tell that may have spoken at my house from philosophy."
- - * - -
John II, Portugal king, had taken hir party immediately. He
had in her court castillians ambassadors coming for treat of the
peace. As they had keeped in leng the negotiation, he did them two
papers in one from which he had wrote peace, and on the other war,
telling them: "Choice you."
- - * - -
I tike the answer that had make a Venice ambassador to an
emperor which do the arms of that republic, was beg him in which
part of world one fond some winged lions such as those what one
see into the armoiries of the venitians States. "They are did
answered the ambassador, in the same countries where one see some
eagles with two heads."
- - * - -
A young man had done latins verses what he had showed at a
half learned. That was from a dealt liking; he was clashed of the
word posthac and had pretended what it was prosaic. The author did
sustained that it was poetic, and that he had a good guarantee of
that he told. The obstinate censor, one had warmed upon that had
accused the garntee of ignorance; but the young man was answered
by their Virgil verses:
Efficiam posthac ne quamquam voce lacessas.
- - * - -
A countryman was confessed to the parson to have robbed a
mutton at a farmer of her neighbourhood. "My friend, told him the
confessor, it mast to return, or you shall not have the
absolution.— But, repply the villager, I had eated him. — So much
worse, told hint the pastor; you vill be the devil sharing;
because in the wide vale where me ought to appear we before God
every one shall spoken against you, even the mutton. How reply the
countryman, the mutton will find in that part? I am very glad of
that; then the restituition shall be easy, since I shall not have
to tell to the farmer: "Neighbour take your mutton again."
- - * - -
The Scarron poet, being almost to die, told their servants,
which were weeping about a front her bed: "My children, you have
sheded too many tears, you not shall veep as much as I had done to
laugh."
- - * - -
A beggar, to Madrid, had solicited the pity of a passenger.
"You are young and strong, told him that man; it would be better
to work as you deliver to the business who you do. — It is money
as I beg you, repply immediately the proud beggar, and not
councils."
- - * - -
A astrologer having predicted the death from a woman who
Lewis XI was liked, and the hazard having justified her
prediction, the king made come the astrologer: "Thy self what
foresee all, told him when thou shall die? The astrologer warned,
or suspecting who this prince bent him a gin, told him: "I will
die three days before your Majesty." The fear and the king's
superstition was prevailed him upon the resentment; he took a
particular care of this dexterous impostor.
- - * - -
One day Lewis XI having meeted Mylos of Ilieres, Chartre's
bishop, going on a mule harnessed magnificently: It is not was in
equipage told him what didwalk the bishops of another time they
were contents of a ass or of a she-ass, what they lead for the
halter. — That is true, sir, had answer the bishop; but that it
was good in the time who the kings had not that a sheep-hook, and
took care of muttons."
- - * - -
A roman soldier had a process, he had asked at Augustus to
protect him, the emperor gave hima of their courtiers for to lead
him to the judges the soldeirwas audacious enough for to tell at
Augustus: "I have not made use so my lord with you, when you were
in danger in the battle of Actium; I self had combated from you."
Telling these words he had discovered the wound who he had keeped.
This reproach had touched at August in such amanner that he was
him self to the bar to defend that soldier.
- - * - -
The pope Leon X had received of the hands from a alchimist a
book which the dedicatory epistle was directed him. Since he had
open it, he had seen that it had for title: the realy manner to
make any gold. He had ordered that bring him immediately a empty
purse, which he made present to the alchymist, telling him: "Then
you make some gold it won't, what a place for to put it."
- - * - -
A man which had eaten so many than six was presented him self
before Henry IV, in the hope that this king shall give him what to
keep a so great talent. The king which had heard speak already of
this illustration eater, did beg him whether what told of hir was
true, that he eat as much that six. "Yes, sir," had answered him.
"And you work proportionably?" had continued the king. "Sire,
repply him, I work so much than another of my force and age. — For
shame! tell the king, if I had six men as thy in my kingdom, I
should make to hangup of like eaters would have it hungry soon."
- - * - -
A patrol had meeted during the night a individual what had
carried a wine bottle. This having asked what he had under hir
cloak, he and answered jesting: "A poniard. — We will look it,"
had replied the others. Our man present immediately her bottle,
these had taked possession of it and they had given back it empty
telling: "Here, as thou art one of our friends, we deliver the
scabbard."
- - * - -
A judge having ordered at any gendarms to arrest a criminal,
this conducted at her presence, was shamness enough far to tell
him that he was semed to Pilatus. The judge was answered him:
"Condemning a so great rogue as thee, I shall not have at less to
wash my hands."
- - * - -
The most vertious of the pagans, Socrates, was accused from
impiety, and immolated to the fury of the envy and the fanaticism.
When relate one's him self that he was been condemned to the death
for the Athenians: "And them thold him, they are it for the
nature.— But it isan unjustly! cried her woman. "Would thy
replied-him that might be justly? "
- - * - -
Plato walking one's self' a day to the field with some of
their friends. They were to see him Diogenes who was in to water
until the chin. The superficies of the water was snowed for the
reserve of the hole that Diogenes was made. "Don't look it more
told them Plato, and he shall get out soon."
- - * - -
Diogenes was meeting him self in a magnificent palace where
the gold and the marble were in wery much great. After have
considering all the beauties, he began to cough, he made two or
three efforts, and did spit against a Phrygian faces which show
him hir palace. "My friend, told him, I have not see a place more
dirty where I can to spit."
- - * - -
A day came a man consult this philosopher for to know at
o'clock it was owe to eat. "If thou art rich, told him eat when
you shall wish; if you are poor, when you may do."
- - * - -
Philip, king's Macedonia, being fall, and seeing the
extension of her body drained upon the dust, was cry: "Greats
gods! that we may have little part in this univers!"
- - * - -
Alphonsus, king's Aragon, did answer at which who did ask him
who were their best and their more loyals counsellors, what he
don't know others that the books; for these, without to be moved
for the intrigue or the interest, they did inform to him all what
he was wish to how.
- - * - -
Cesar, seing one day to Roma, some strangers very riches,
which bore between hir arms little dogs and little monkeies and
who was carressign them too tenderly, was asking, with so many
great deal reason; whether the women of her country don't had some
children?
- - * - -
One did exhort Henry IV to treat rigorous by some places of
the league, what he had reducted for the force. "The satisfaction
that take off of the vengeance not continue than a minute, told
this generous prince; but that which is take of the clemency is
eternal."
- - * - -
Selim I, Turk's emperor, did shove one's self the, in a
contrary manner to the use of their ancestros. Some one asking to
him the motive of that: "It is to the end who my counsellors not
lead me for the beard, as they made to my father."
- - * - -
A day Henri IV was harangued for ad ambassador, which began
for these words: "Sire, when the great Scipio was arriving near
Carthagus." The king was foresee at this beginning length tedious
of the discourse, and that wish make to feel it to ambassador, he
was interrupt him telling to hir: "When Scipio was arrive to
Carthagus, he was dine, and me, I am fasting."
- - * - -
At the middle of a night very dark, a blind was walk in the
streets with a light on the hand and a full jar upon the back.
Some one which ran do meet him, and surprised of that light:
"Simple that you are, told him, what serve you this light? The
night and the day are not them the same thing by you? — It is not
for me, seas answering the blind, that I bring this light, it is
to the and that the giddie which seem to you do not come to run
against me, and make to break my jar."
Idiotisms and Proverbs
The necessity don't know the low.
Few, few the bird make her nest.
He is not valuable to breat that he eat.
Its are some blu stories.
Nothing some money, nothing of Swiss.
He sin in trouble water.
A bad arrangement is better than a process.
He has a good beak.
In the country of blinds, the one eyed man are kings.
To build castles in Espagnish.
Cat scalded fear the cold water.
To do the fine spirit.
With a tongue one go to Roma.
There is not any rnler without a exception.
Take out the live coals with the hand of the cat.
A horse baared don't look him the tooth.
Take the occasion for the hairs.
To do a wink to some body.
So many go the jar to spring, than at last rest there.
He eat untill to can't more.
Which like Bertram, love hir dog.
It want to beat the iron during it is hot.
He is not so devil as he is black.
It is better be single as a bad company.
The stone as roll not heap up not foam.
The shurt him the doar in face.
He has fond the knuckle of the business.
He turns as a weath turcocl.
There is not better sauce who the appetite.
The pains come at horse and turn one's self at foot.
He is beggar as a church rat.
So much go the jar to spring that at last it break there.
To force to forge, becomes smith.
Keep the chestnut of the fire with the cat foot.
Friendship of a child is water into a basket.
At some thing the misforte is good.
Burn the politeness.
Tell me whom thou frequent, I will tell you which you are.
After the paunch comes the dance.
Of the hand to mouth, one lose often the soup.
To look for a needle in a hay bundle.
To craunch the marmoset.
To buy cat in pocket.
To be as a fish into the water.
To make paps for the cats.
To fatten the foot.
To come back at their muttons.