Chapter Eighteen (Adam)
I used to think I was invincible.
I grew up on my own, I could take down full grown men, I had three dutiful followers, no one bothered me at school, I was in a band, I had friends. Not even the thought of going into college or getting a job in the city bothered me.
Now, I wasn't so sure. It didn't help that the moment I turned to close the door as I left Julian's room, the look on his face hit me so hard that I almost lost my breath there for a moment. I wanted so badly to turn around and go back to him and lie to him about how I feeling okay, how him being around Hunter didn't bother me, how Zephyra hunting us didn't concern me.
But I couldn't.
Instead, I found myself sitting in Seth's room on his bed, leaning against the window frame, looking outside to watch fat snowflakes land on the window. Seth was silent from the moment I arrived, sitting on the floor with his guitar, practicing a few of our old songs. Finally, he looked up, giving me a droll stare.
"Dude, what happened? Seriously," He added when I gave him a blank stare, "I haven't seen you this depressed in a long time. What's up? Does it have to do with Julian?" Seth could be a really perceptive little shit sometimes. It was why we started hanging out in the first place. He tended to know what was going on inside my head.
I didn't know how to answer him, though.
Obviously Seth knew a big chunk of Julian's life now. He was probably still kind of lost on the whole demonic parasite thing and the fact that Julian's entire family wanted me to go halfblood so I wouldn't make Julian cry. Though it sounded crazy, I kind of wanted the same thing. I didn't want Julian to fall apart if I died.
He looked like he was going to crumble when I left his room to go to Seth's, so what would his reaction be if I were to die? Thinking about it made me sick to my stomach.
I drew my knee up, resting my elbow on it, cheek against my knuckles as I continued to stare out the window in silence. Seth wasn't giving up, but he didn't speak. Instead, he just stared at me until it drove me nuts. I gave him an irritated glance.
"It's really none of your business, Seth. This is between me and Julian." I answered. Seth scowled, setting his guitar aside and getting up. He came over to the bed and sat down at the foot of it, legs crossed as he gave me a long, hard stare.
"Don't give me that crap. You're my friend, man. You and Julian." He added with a frown.
"Really? Because the fact that you give him dirty looks and treat him like absolute shit doesn't sound very friendly to me." I answered. Seth flinched as if I had smacked him. He looked down at the bed for a while, pulling at the seam of his comforter before he finally looked up at me.
"Look, I'm trying to deal with it. This isn't easy for me either. Julian is one of my closest friends. To suddenly find out he's a vampire? You should be grateful I'm not staking him or going crazy like Walter." He retorted, folding his arms over his chest, but he still looked guilty. Seth couldn't hide from me.
Or maybe he could, I thought bitterly, looking away. I used to think I could read Julian like a book. I could easily tell how he felt, what annoyed him, what got him excited. Hell, I knew he had a crush on me because of the way he kept looking at me and followed me around constantly. And I didn't mind.
I liked Julian too... No, now that was more of an understatement. Like just wasn't strong enough to express the way I felt for Julian. Even the word love was beginning to seem inadequate.
But knowing he could easily hide being a vampire from me made me wonder what else he was hiding from me, what the other guys were hiding from me. If Kipp came up to me and told me he could turn into a dragon at midnight, I'd probably believe him... and then punch him for not telling me sooner.
"Adam," Seth sighed, making me look at him flatly, "I like Julian, I do. He's still my friend. I'd take a bullet for the kid. I'm just trying to wrap my head around the fact that even if he took a bullet, he'd be safe and sound. He's a vampire. And you're dating him. It's like some tween novel."
"Don't you think I know that," I muttered, running a hand through my hair in frustration, "And to be honest, I got over the fact that he was a vampire. At first, it was no problem... Then this other shit started happening."
"Other shit?" Seth echoed. Before I could stop myself, I was telling Seth everything. Oh, I knew Julian would be pissed. Newell even more so, but I couldn't help it. I needed to talk to someone who wasn't Julian, someone who wasn't part of that whole party. I wanted someone who was looking from the outside in. I wanted to know what to do.
Because for once in my life, I needed help.
I didn't know what to do. Become a halfblood or stay a human? Die of old age or get killed by a terrorist group? The list went on and it only made me feel worse. I was supposed to be worrying about the gig tomorrow. Would we get there in time? Would people like us? Usually, I wouldn't even question it. We were good. I knew we were good. We may not be The Beatles or AC/DC, but we were still good enough to make it big someday with enough practice. That was what I wanted to focus on, though.
I wanted to focus on my band. I wanted to focus on Julian. Maybe even do something about my grades at school. Find a job and make some money to save up so Julian and I could live together. So I could wake up every morning to see him sleeping beside me like I have been for the past few months, but I wanted to wake up and see him knowing he'd be there forever. Not wake up to be relieved that he was still alive and safe.
I hated worrying all night about whether or not he'd be there in the morning.
And I hated knowing he worried about the same thing.
We were only eighteen. We should be worrying about school, relationships, jobs. Not terrorists, demonic parasites, and being vampires.
By the time I finished laying out the whole story to Seth, it was nearly dark outside. Seth was staring at me. He had remained silent throughout my whole spiel and I was actually pretty grateful for that. Talking wasn't as easy as people made it out to be. I wasn't used to doing this, asking for help. I was used to doing things on my own.
"And now I'm really starting to consider a therapist." I finished bitterly, rubbing my temples. Seth blinked for a second, soaking in everything I'd told him before breathing a long sigh. He fingered his lower lip for a second thoughtfully, then nodded slowly.
"All righty, so maybe the vampire thing isn't as bad as the whole vampire thing," He admitted, making me frown before he went on, "I mean, it's easier accepting he's a vampire rather than accepting the fact that you guys are completely fucked by a terrorist group of vampires. I didn't even think there were that many vampires out there."
"A whole society of them." I muttered. Seth sighed, looking frustrated with the news, but he didn't go on a tirade about it. Instead, he glanced at me, leaning back against the other side of the window sill, arms folded over his chest.
"So what're you gonna do about Julian? You're not gonna break up are you? Cuz, I think your huge gay fanbase will be heartbroken." He pointed out.
"Fanbase?" I asked dryly as Seth nodded.
"Yup. I was at the Walgreens in town and these girls came up to me asking if you and Julian were dating for real and I told them yeah and they started squealing and carrying on about ships or something like that. By the way, thanks for that, because now people think Kipp and I have a thing." He added under his breath. I almost laughed at that.
Firstly because, knowing Seth, he was probably excited to have girls talk to him, only to have them crush his hopes to talk about Julian and I. Secondly because imagining Kipp and Seth together was impossible. Kipp cared way too much about his family, and the biology teacher, to even think about an actual relationship. And Seth because he was a violent son of a bitch that would probably make plenty of women cry. No, not because he'd end up in a domestic violence dispute, but because he always said the wrong thing and hurt people's feelings. Not on purpose, of course, but some people could never tell the difference between an accident and on purpose.
"Quit smirking," Seth scowled, making it hard not to grin at him as he waved his hand at me before sitting back, "Let's focus on your problems now anyway. It sounds like Julian's just being a ditz again. I don't think he meant to hurt you." I frowned, averting my eyes.
"I know he didn't, but it still bothers me because he's right. That Hunter guy is a human, and yet, he can still face inhuman things and not get a scratch on him? Seth, I was shot last time." I muttered bitterly. Seth rolled his eyes and shook his head.
"Don't kid yourself, Adam. I doubt a guy like that doesn't have some skeletons in his closet... and scars under all that badass biker wear you said he wears. Nobody gets that good without getting kicked in the face a few times. Stop beating yourself up, Adam. We call you King for a reason."
"Yeah, because I told you to."
"Psh, fuck you, that's not true. You also told me to stop whacking Kipp upside the head, but did I listen to that? No. I call you King because it's a title you deserve. Kings always run into problems during their reign, but that doesn't mean they should step down and give the crown to someone else."
"Kind of hard when there's a better king." I answered dryly. Seth scoffed.
"Hunter ain't a king. He's a knight. There's a difference. This Hunter guy sounds like he's a slave to a higher power. You? You're a slave to no one... Except maybe your queen." He added with a smirk. I mirrored his expression before nodding slowly, taking a deep breath and flopping down on Seth's bed, staring up at the ceiling.
Maybe he was right.
There was always going to be someone out there better than me, but that didn't mean I had to lay down and let them take over. Especially not when it concerned Julian. I just needed to do better. Moping around wasn't helping the situation, and it was probably stressing Julian out even more and that was the last thing I wanted to do. I didn't want to see that broken hearted look on Julian's face again.
It was time for this king to go home and get ready for war. Literally.
"I think I'm gonna go back to Julian now." I said at last. Seth nodded.
"Good, because your fat ass is taking up space on my bed." He replied. I snorted, then rolled off his bed, getting to my feet and pulling my boots on. Seth got up and followed me down the stairs to the front door.
"Are you leaving already, Adam?" Wendy, Seth's mom, was standing in the doorway of the living room, wearing a pair of Pooh Bear silk pajamas, her auburn hair thrown up in a sloppy bun. It was one of those rare moments that she wasn't all primed up and in a suit for her job as a lawyer. She actually looked friendly and approachable now.
"Yeah," I answered, nudging my head toward the door, "Got something I need to fix." Wendy smiled warmly, clutching her bowl of popcorn.
"All righty then, I wish you the best of luck. You be safe on your way home. It's dangerous this time of year." She added. I nodded, giving her a two-fingered salute before Seth opened the door to let me out. I stood outside the door, glancing back at Seth, who leaned on the doorframe, arms folded.
"Yeah, good luck," He agreed, "You're gonna need it. And don't forget that we need to be at the school by five tomorrow for the dance."
"Got it. We'll see you there." I replied. Seth nodded before he shut the door and I went down the steps to the sidewalk. The air was bitter cold and chilled me right to the bones, my breath coming out in clouds. I paused to look up at the dark sky that was spilling crystal white snowflakes to an already thick blanket of snow below. I sighed, wading through the snow and heading back to Julian's house.
I tried to come up with things to say to Julian, but honestly, it was difficult. What should I say to him after I hurt him like that? I wanted to apologize, but sorry was really hard to get out. Maybe letting him cuddle on me would be apology enough. I wanted to talk to him too.
About everything.
I wanted him to know how I felt about the whole halfblood thing, and about Hunter, about our lives, about the whole wedding thing. I wanted to talk about what Mrs. Grey told me. I knew she was right, but it was so hard to focus on the little things in life when there were bigger circumstances.
I took my time moving through the soft, fluffy snow as I came up with several ways to try and talk to Julian about the mess when I got a sudden chill up my spine. And it had nothing to do with the weather either. I narrowed my eyes, recognizing the way the hairs on the back of my neck stood on end, indicating that someone was watching me. It was unsettling, but I pretended not to notice and kept walking.
As I crossed the street to Julian's block, I tried to come up with possibilities. Who could it be? One of the body guards? Zephyra? Declan Calhoun? I couldn't think of anyone else who had a grudge against me really. And I had to assume the worst.
I walked a little bit further until I reached the tree line that seperated Julian's neighbors house from his house. I turned sharply to get behind the trees and waited, holding my breath to keep the clouds from giving me away. A dark shadow moved past me, then stopped, looking around in obvious confusion. It was hard to see from this angle, especially in the dark, but I didn't take any chances and moved fast.
I darted from my hiding place, grabbing the guy by the front of his jacket, whipping him around and slamming him down into the snow. The guy squealed and thrashed against me for a moment before peering through the darkness and snow. The street lamp illuminated the face of Walter.
"What the fuck are you doing out here?" I demanded harshly, jerking on the front of Walter's winter jacket. Walter sputtered, shaking his head to get the snow off his face, his cheeks flushed. He looked up at me with bloodshot eyes, dark circles underneath of them. He definitely lost weight. He used to be able to throw me off him, but now, all his bucking and twisted hardly budged me. I gave him a hard shake again when he didn't answer me.
"All right, all right," He managed, voice shaking, "I just... I wanted to find out where Julian lived, so I saw you go into Seth's house and I waited until you left and followed you." I glared at him, tightening my grip on his jacket, giving him another hard shake.
"You made a very big mistake. What the hell do you want with Julian? He's got enough shit on his plate without you trying to harass him again." I spat. Walter winced, squirming a little underneath of me before he gave me a hard stare through snowflake dotted eyelashes.
"I already know," He seethed past clenched teeth, still breathing hard, "He already told me."
"What?" I demanded sharply. Walter tried to regain some of his dignity back by baring his teeth at me in an attempt to appear ferocious, but I glared at him harder, daring him to fight me. I think that did it because he stopped fighting me and went still.
"Julian already told me. He went off on some kind of weird spiel a few days ago at school. I came because..." His voice trailed. I narrowed my eyes.
"Because what?" I demanded. Walter nibbled his lower lip and averted his eyes. I waited for a moment before I realized what he was aiming for. I barked out a bitter laugh that made Walter flinch.
"You want to help Julian? Correct me if I'm wrong, but aren't you the filthy prick who's been beating him up since middle school?" I asked dangerously. Walter paled for a moment before recovering quickly, reaching up to clasp his hands over mine.
"I'm not gonna hurt him," Walter snapped seriously now, "I... I have nothing else to do, no one else to talk to about this. My psychiatrist just keeps perscribing me more and more pills. I can't do anything anymore. I can't sleep at night, I can't talk to anyone, no one even wants to talk to me anyway, not even my own parents."
"And what makes you think Julian will want to talk to you?" I demanded icily. Walter stared at me intensely.
"Because he's the only one who doesn't think I'm crazy." He answered coldly. I stared at him for a while longer, debating what to do with his sorry ass. Part of me wanted to just bury his face in the snow until he suffocated and another part of me just wanted to scare him off so he'd stay away, but I could hear Julian's voice in the back of my head telling me to lay off. I mentally cursed myself for falling for that voice instead of logic.
I slowly let go of the front of Walter's jacket, standing up over him before holding my hand out to help him up. He eyed my hand wearily, then took it as I heaved him up out of the snow. He shuddered, shaking the snow off himself before I stepped back.
"If you even think about coming around to egg his house or some middle school bullshit, I'll snap your neck faster than you can say oops. And trust me, I won't hesitate to kill someone right now." I told him. Walter gulped audibly and just gave me a vigorous nod before I sighed in frustration, turning and heading to Julian's house. I could hear Walter stumbling after me through the snow.
Why me?
I opened the door and walked right in, letting Walter in behind me. I could hear the television on in the living room, the sound of pots and pans in the kitchen, voices from down the hallway, and the stereo in Julian's room. I scraped the snow off my boots, glancing pointedly at Walter, who was about to track snow into the house. He frowned, looking down at his boots before knocking the snow off them onto the mat.
"This is... weird." Walter breathed at last, looking around the house like a skittish bunny rabbit in a dog pound. I snorted, shaking the snow off my jacket before hanging it on a nearby coat rack.
"What?" I asked, holding my hand out for his. He hesitated, then carefully handed me his coat. I saw him dip his hand into his coat pocket real fast, tucking something into his jeans pocket. I elbowed him hard in the chest, making him wince before I held my hand out.
"Give it here." I ordered. Walter looked around nervously.
"Trust me, vampires are the least scariest thing in this house right now if you don't give me the fucking weapon." I threatened. Walter moved quickly, taking a crudely made wooden stake out of his pocket, tossing it into my palm so I almost got a splinter. I raised an eyebrow and gave him a droll stare.
"This won't kill them. It'll just piss them off." I told him. Walter looked sick at that. I hung up his coat, tossing his shit stake into the nearby umbrella stand before I gestured Walter to follow me toward the hallway that led to Julian's room, but we didn't get very far when I heard someone clear their throat loudly. I stiffened for a second, then turned. Walter jumped behind me, peering over my shoulder as we turned to see Hunter standing in the doorway of the living room.
He stood there in all his badass glory, belt hooked up with weapons that were probably illegal in several countries.
"The fuck is he?" Hunter asked casually, even though his posture said anything, but. Walter elbowed me in the back and I shot him a warning glare before looking back at Hunter coldly.
"Hunter, Walter. Walter, Hunter. And that's more than just his name." I added, just to freak Walter out. It did the trick because Walter was getting tense behind me, eyeing Hunter the way a mouse eyed a cat before taking off. Hunter just stared Walter down for the longest time before speaking.
"You shouldn't drag them strangers in here. This ain't a motel." He told me.
"Exactly," I responded dryly, "He's not staying. He just wants to have a word with Julian."
"Are we talking vampire word or school word?"
"Vampire word. Maybe."
"Ain't you guys ever heard of keepin' your pie holes shut?" Hunter asked me. I shook my head at that, ignoring his scoff as I snatched Walter by the elbow and dragged him down the hallway toward Julian's room. I heard Hunter follow us up until halfway down the hallway before he went still, watching us go into Julian's room.
Julian had been sitting at his keyboard, playing along with Paul McCartney's Wonderful Christmas Time. He looked up flatly at first before he noticed Walter and his eyes widened. He shot up from his seat, his muscles tensing as I shut the door behind us.
"What the hell is he doing here?" Julian asked cautiously.
"I found him in a box on the side of the street, honey, I couldn't just leave him there." I answered sarcastically. Julian shot me a dirty look before his expression softened. He looked like he wanted to say something, then changed his mind, turning to Walter sourly.
"What'd you want, Walter?" He asked. Walter shifted uncomfortably, looking around the room like he was waiting for a vampire to pop out of the closet and drink his blood. I wouldn't be surprised if Julian's family played a sick joke like that. As if Walter wasn't crazy enough.
"I... wanted to talk... about your whole... like... weird vampire thing." He said at last, waving his hands around to emphasis vampire thing. Julian scowled, folding his arms over his chest.
"Yeah? Well, I wanted to talk to you about your weird human thing," He mocked Walter's hand gestures, making Walter blush, "Look, I really don't have anything else to say to you. I told you everything I could and I can't make people believe you and I don't want to. My people--"
"I know, I know," Walter rushed in, making Julian narrow his eyes dangerously, "I just... I don't have anyone else to talk to. You're the only one I can talk to and even though I don't really like you and you don't really like me..." His voice trailed. Julian studied Walter suspiciously for a moment before sighing, covering his face in frustration.
"You know, if you hadn't of been so stupid and taken my thermos, this wouldn't be happening." He muttered. I gave Walter a droll stare as his cheeks flushed again with embarrassment.
"I... just wasn't thinking." He said at last.
"What else is new?" I asked. Walter shot me a dirty look, but the look I gave him countered it and he dropped his gaze to his feet. Well, damn. Walter used to try having staring contests with me, but it looked like all this mess with the institution and everyone hating him sort of had him whipped now.
"All right," Julian said at last, frowning, "Fine. I'll be your little... I dunno, therapist or whatever? But not today. Starting, I dunno, the day after tomorrow or something."
"That's your birthday." I deadpanned. Julian blinked, looking surprised before he blushed. Walter stared at him.
"You have a birthday?" He asked. Julian snorted rudely.
"Noooo, I just need a special holiday to stuff my face with cake. Yes, we have birthdays too."
"So... How old are you?"
"Eighteen."
"Seriously?"
"What were you expecting? Three thousand years old? Fuck no. I'm seriously eighteen. Why does everyone assume vampires are ancient?" Julian demanded, putting his hands on his hips. Walter scowled, folding his arms tightly over his chest.
"We'll, you're immortal, aren't you?" He asked. I gave Julian a warning look to quit talking about it, but he just went on anyway.
"There's no such thing as immortal," Julian answered, surprising me as I looked at him to see him staring at Walter seriously, "Everything dies in someway or another. Oh sure, old age doesn't effect us, but we can die of starvation, lack of nutrition, torture, beheading, catching on fire. But so can everything else in the world." Walter was silent at that, staring at Julian in a way that reminded me of a student learning from a teacher.
If you had told me that I'd be in this situation about four months ago, I would've laughed in your face before punching it. Walter, the stereotypical playground bully, learning from Julian, the victim slash kid who fought back with everything he had and almost broke said bully's arm on several occasions.
"Doesn't mean it's easy," Julian admitted with a shrug, "If you say, I dunno, shot me. I'd be able to recover quickly and beat the crap out of you, so long as I removed the bullet so I could heal." I frowned at his example, thoughtlessly reaching up to rub my shoulder where I'd been shot. Julian looked at me for a second, then looked away.
"That's amazing," Walter breathed, "What else?"
"I'm not gonna give you ways to kill me," Julian said flatly, "And I can't exactly teach you here in the lair of the beast. And by the beast, I mean my mother... And maybe Newell. Actually, I think Newell might just be a tad scarier than my mom."
"A tad?" I asked. Julian smirked at that. Walter suddenly looked uncomfortable.
"Uhm... So, when can we get a chance to talk about this?" He asked. Julian shrugged.
"Try Monday." He replied. Walter nodded. I offered to show Walter out, leading him down the hallway. Hunter was leaning on the opening of the living room, eyeing us closely. Walter gave the guy a weird look before snatching his coat, giving me a quick goodbye under his breath before darting outside into the cold darkness. I waited until he disappeared down the sidewalk before I shut the door, turning to see Hunter looking at me.
"What?" I demanded. Hunter shrugged, holding his hands up in defense before lowering them to study me closely.
"Now, I'm just guessing, but I'm pretty sure you don't like me."
"What gave it away?"
"Dunno, might've been that killer gleam in your eye or the fact that you didn't hello when you came home."
"I'm not your wife."
"Nah, you're too young and hairy for my tastes," Hunter answered, making me glare at him before he went on, "But that don't mean I don't like you, kid."
"My name's Adam."
"Fine, Adam. I don't mean to intrude in your life. I just owe Newt a favorite. S'the only reason I'm here, otherwise, I'd still be in Lansing huntin' down oni." He explained. I recognized the term for the evil Japanese demon. I hadn't thought those things roamed freely, entirely anyway. It made me frown.
"How much do you know about Julian's world?" I asked. Hunter shrugged, averting his eyes as reached up to adjust the riding goggles on top of his head.
"Dunno, a lot maybe. More than most humans. Had to live with it all my life growin' up in Nawlins." He replied. I frowned, studying him for a moment. Hunter knew more than I did, that was for sure. He had things on his belt that made me question just how much he knew. And he said he was from New Orleans, home to some of the most supernatural things in the world, including voodoo and mojo crap. He'd know more than me.
I didn't know a thing about vampires when I met Julian, and even now, I didn't know much. I didn't know everything about being a halfblood either. What if Hunter knew? If he knew, he could teach me, show me...
Even though I hated him.
"I don't like you," I said at last, making Hunter shrug as if it really didn't bother him, "But you know more than me and you've killed more than me. And everyone around me is freaking out, telling me I can't protect myself the way I am now. But you're a human too and you've lived this long. I can do the same thing." Hunter stared at me for a while, looking totally calm and hardly surprised that I asked him, which only annoyed me further.
"I started training when I was eight," Hunter answered, making me frown, "So I have a good few years on you... But I ain't gonna deny you if you want help. Even if you don't like me, and don't worry, I don't like you neither. Mostly cuz you're a littlun."
"Thanks, I guess." I muttered. Hunter cracked a smirk at that, then turned away.
"Mrs. Grey told me you have a dance tomorrow, though, something about playing in a band. So we'll start your training after that," He said, making me raise an eyebrow as he started to walk away, then paused to look back at me, "And I ain't gonna go easy on you, so don't be expectin' it."
"On the contrary," I replied, "Beat the living shit out of me."
"... I lied. I think I'm starting to like you."
"I'll change your mind, don't worry."
"Oh, thank goodness." Hunter left me to stand there for a moment before I went back to Julian's room to find him sitting on the bed, holding a pillow in his lap. I took a deep breath and shut the door behind me.
"We need to talk." We said at the same time, then went quiet. I frowned from the sad look on Julian's face. I suddenly felt like I swallowed a rock. He had that look on his face. You know, the look.
The one that said it's time to end this.