It's my party and I'll cry to the end,
And you must try harder than kissing all of my friends,
You.
It takes a bit more, yeah it takes a bit more than you,
It takes a bit more, yeah it takes a bit more than you.
-"You" || The 1975
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Alli isn't Lucky's girlfriend.
Lucky Blue Smith doesn't have a girlfriend.
Lucky is single.
These thoughts are whirling in Anais' mind as she stands before him in the kitchen, water bottle lowered from her lips.
"But...?" Anais doesn't believe this. "But, the show...? At that show, at the beginning of the semester, you said...And the picture! The Instagram-"
"I lied, okay?"
"But...?" Anais doesn't understand. Anais doesn't understand lying very well, anymore. "But, why?"
He snorts. "Doesn't matter now, does it?"
"Lucky," she shakes her head. She thought she and Lucky were good enough friends for them to be straightforward with each other, "just tell me the truth."
"So, what? What's that gonna do now, Ana? You're fucking happy with that fucking prick-"
"Leave Zayn out of this," she snaps, because she's tired of him being so awful about her boyfriend, as if she wasn't affected by these words. "Why'd you," and she pokes him sharply in his chest, "lie to me?"
"To make you jealous!"
"What?"
"I was," Lucky runs both hands over his face, "I was trying to make you jealous."
Anais is so shocked she almost wants to laugh. "What? But...why?"
Lucky lifts a brow. "'Cause I like you? Jesus, Ana," and he rolls his eyes because this is Anais, again. "Don't be daft."
"But," she shakes her head, turning away, not noticing how Lucky is crossing the floor, coming closer. "But, why? Like, honestly, why? I was so," she shakes her head, "I was so gone for you, Lucky. All you had to do was ask..."
And Lucky shakes his head, just as outside, in the living room, the puppy man finishes setting up and begins explaining rules for fun and safety and whatnot, and Zayn and Soo audibly wonder where Anais is.
"Ask what, Ana?" He asks. "All you did last semester was work. Honestly, I'm offended that now, all of a sudden you pull a 360 and spend all your time with, with-" His jaw clenches again.
Anais rolls her eyes. "Zayn, Lucky. It's Zayn."
He waves her off. "Whatever."
"No, not whatever. Do you not care that he matters to me?"
"But what about me? You liked me and never let it on and now you're the opposite with him-"
"I didn't know you liked me!"
"And I'm telling you now."
"So, what?" She snorts. "So, I'm just supposed to leave my boyfriend and run into your arms and be with you, now?"
And before Anais can say, "Give me a break with that shit," Lucky's wrapped his hands around her waist and nodded very intently, with wide blue eyes.
"Yes," he says, and brings his lips to hers.
Anais doesn't know what the fuck is happening to her life, tonight.
The stars just aren't in alignment with her sign, or something. Shit is just not supposed to go down for an Aquarius like her, apparently.
She blinks once.
Twice.
And pushes Lucky away.
"Lucky!" She exclaims, staggering backwards. "Lucky! What the hell's wrong with you?"
"Me?" He gasps.
"Yes, you! How many times do I have to tell you that I have a boyfriend?"
Lucky throws his head back. "Could we stop bringing him up? I swear, you only fucking talk about him!"
"I do not!"
"Now you wanna lie, too? You do, Anais," he steps towards her. "How long's it gonna take for you to realize he's not right for you?"
"Oh yeah? And how'd you know that?"
"Because I know you, Ana! We've been friends since Freshman year. You've known this guy for barely a semester."
"So, what? What's time got to do with how I feel about him?"
"What happened to those feelings for me?"
Anais pauses. "Lucky..."
"Anais. Ana," he pleads. "Ana, this is right. What we have is right."
She turns. "Lucky, just stop. Okay? Please?" Now, she's begging, because this needs to end. "Don't try to convince me."
"I'm not," he says. "I'm trying to show you," and he grabs her waist and pulls her into him again.
Okay, so she's really got to stop setting him up with these questions, apparently.
This is too much.
And Anais slaps him.
"Lucky!"
But his grip on her only tightens. "Don't fight this," he murmurs...
...when Zayn walks in.
And it's amazing, really, how Zayn wastes no time with words, grabbing Lucky's shoulders and hauling him from Anais.
She gasps, her arms falling to her sides as she wipes at her lips.
"Lucky," she sputters, "you fucking-"
"You're fucking dead, mate," says Zayn, and it's as if Anais' eyes finally focus so she can now see that Zayn's joined the picture and Zayn's the one that pulled Lucky from her and that Zayn has also punched Lucky in his stupid, pretty face.
And this is really just too much.
All Anais wanted to do was get some water so she could return to fun and puppies. She wanted to go back to her friends and sit on the couch and listen to Zach and Louis be hilarious and Magdalena and Jesse continue to flirt and she wanted to laugh at Chanel rolling her eyes at everything Sophia said or watch Cara pretend like she and Niall weren't into each other.
Was that too much to ask?
Was it too much to ask for her to want her friends to all find cute boys that liked them? Was it too much for her to want that for them and herself?
Apparently.
"Guys, stop! Stop it!"
The boys don't hear her. Her words go completely unnoticed, as the sound of fabric ripping and knuckles against skin and bodies against cupboards and linoleum meld with grunts and curses, and Anais feels powerless because all she can do is watch.
And what's worse, is that this is her fault, isn't it? She's got two of the most important people in her life fighting over her in the kitchen at a surprise birthday party for her best friend. What type of awful person was she?
Anais is overwhelmed.
She kind of wants to cry, and she's not a crier.
"Guys! Lucky! Zayn! You guys, stop it!"
But her words again go unheeded, and as she backs out of their way as they fall to the floor, Anais could kind of use a good cry.
And of course, now this commotion has brought attention to the kitchen, so in jog Louis and Zach and then Broderick and Diego, who have to physically separate the boys from each other.
There are puppies being played with in the other room, and puppies are the only things that keep everyone else from running into the kitchen to see what all of the commotion is.
"Fuckin' hell, Zayn! Calm down, mate! Calm down."
And Zach is holding him back, he and Louis, as his chest heaves. Zayn is out of breath and he's wiping at the sweat on his brow while staring Lucky down because he knew he had a reason to hate this guy before, but now? Now, who really has the balls - the fucking audacity - to kiss someone else's - to kiss his - girlfriend?
"This fuckin' ends tonight," he snarls.
Diego stares incredulously between them. "What the hell's this about?"
"What's going on in here?" Cara exclaims, stumbling into the kitchen with Niall and Magdalena. "Guys, there are puppies you're missing!"
Zayn doesn't hear this, because Lucky's nodding, wiping at the cut on his lip. "Yeah, mate," he spits. "Don't wanna miss all the puppies, do you."
"Zayn, stop," Anais pleads, interrupting before Zayn can go after him, again. She places both hands on his chest, and she can feel his heartbeat pounding against her palms. "Please?" He's glaring at Lucky with a murderous look in his eye. "Zayn, it's okay. Really," she places her hand against his cheek, turning his face towards her.
And for a moment, his expression softens.
She runs her fingers over his skin. "Are you okay? Calm down, please?"
And his eyes close slowly. "I'm so so-"
"Yeah, Anais," Lucky musters, chuckling as he wipes blood from his lip. "Keep a tight leash on that bitch-"
And Zayn lunges for Lucky, and he nearly knocks Anais down in the process, with Zach grabbing for her as Louis attempts to keep his mate from committing murder at his girlfriend's birthday party.
When the two are finally separated, enough noise has been made to finally alert everyone in the other room to the fact that okay, maybe something is actually wrong here.
"What's happening in here?" Exclaims Soo, because the man with the puppies is thinking that maybe he should pack up the dogs because this adult party has taken a turn for the worst. And she pushes through the crowd forming in Louis and Niall and Zayn's crowded kitchen to see that Zayn's shirt's been ripped and Lucky is bleeding and the expressions on everyone's faces range from confusion to sadness and why would anyone be confused or sad at a puppy party?
She blinks. "What's going on?"
And before she turns to Lucky, she meets Zayn's glare. His eyes are dark and angry and it takes Soo aback because she's never seen him so dark or so angry before.
And it was kind of scary.
"Zayn?"
"S'nothing, Soo," he replies, voice clipped and bitter and he's pushing through bodies trying to get the hell out of the kitchen. "Excuse me."
Anais chases after him. "Zayn, wait!"
Soo watches them go and follows, "Anais?" She exclaims. "Anai-"
"Soo, don't," Jourdan says, reaching out and grabbing her arm.
"Jourdan," Soo is so confused, "what happened?"
"Someone's got a temper," is what Lucky says in reply. He's got blood all over his shirt and it's kind of making Soo squeamish.
"Shut the fuck up," Jesse snaps. "Alright?"
"Hey, man, chill," Broderick says. "Seriously, like, chill out."
Jesse's jaw clenches. "Dude, I swear. I swear to you I am the wrong person for you to tell to fucking chill."
"Alright, alright, show's over," Niall exclaims, herding the guests back into the living room before another fight breaks out, this time with Jesse included. They just didn't need that. "There's nothing to see here."
And the crowd disperses.
Chanel tugs Lucky's shirt. "C'mon," she tells him. "Let's get you cleaned up," and he complies, nodding silently before following her into the bathroom.
And that just leaves the rest of Zayn and Anais' friends.
WIthout them.
Soo looks between Louis and Cara. "Okay, seriously. What in the world just happened?" And she looks now, around at the faces still left in the kitchen. "Why is everyone sad? What in the world?"
Zach is breathing hard. That was a lot of work, separating those two. "Lucky made a pass at Anais, so..." he replies between deep breaths, and Soo's mouth forms an 'o.'
"So's you can imagine," Louis adds, as he attempts to tidy up the kitchen, "that didn't really go over very well."
__
"Zayn!"
Anais' heels clack against wet cement, her booties sinking in the snow as she races down the stairs of the apartment building after Zayn.
"Zayn! Zayn, stop!" She yells over the wind, watching as he moves quickly, shrugging on his leather coat, face fixed into a scowl as the cold air stings his face.
And Anais grows angrier as he keeps moving at this pace. When he hits the bottom step, turning onto the sidewalk and bracing himself for this walk away from his flat, she pumps her arms and really runs as she yells, "Zayn, fuck you and wait!"
His steps don't slow, so hers increase.
"Zayn, stop!"
And she reaches out and grabs the arm of his coat and she's glaring at him, now. She knows he heard her. "Zayn-" She yells.
He turns abruptly. "What?"
Anais stumbles backwards because that was more than shocking, this reaction.
She rubs her arms. "...Zayn?"
"You know what," he shakes his head, laughing bitterly, "save it, Anais. Save it. I don't wanna do this with you right now."
They're standing at arms length, the only ones on the sidewalk.
Her frown deepens. "Do what, exactly?"
"This," he snaps, puffs of air visible in the night. "Have this fucking conversation."
"Okay," she shakes her head, "I'm not Lucky, so why are you screaming at me?"
Zayn stops.
He flexes cold fingers and clenches his jaw, head angled upwards at the sky.
Anais stares at him. "Zayn."
"You like him," he says before she can continue. "You still like him," he faces her, "don't you?"
Now, Anais laughs. "Are you kidding? Where the hell's this coming from?"
"Where do you think, Ana?" He exclaims. "Forget already that I walked in on you two?"
"He kissed me," Anais retorts, and Zayn only scowls. "Seriously Zayn, I can't believe you think I'd cheat on you, and to cheat while I'm in the next room!?" She coughs. "So nice to know you think I'm stupid and unfaithful."
He rolls his eyes. "You know I didn't say that."
"Yeah, well what are you saying, then?"
"He's fucking all over you, and you don't think that's a problem?"
She rolls her eyes, now. "Yeah? Well, what do you want me to do about that, exactly?"
"This some joke to you?"
"Zayn! He has feelings for me. So what? How many times do I have to tell you that I'm not with him because I don't wanna be?"
His eyes narrow to slits. "And I'm just supposed to be okay with that?"
"If you trust me."
"Ana, this isn't about you!" He exclaims. "I mean, for fuck's sake! How'd you feel if I was going on behind your back with another girl?"
"That depends..."
He scoffs. "Right. Of course it does. Shows how much you care, love."
Anais glares at him but decides not to comment.
"That depends, 'cause are you friends with this girl, or are you cheating on me with her."
Zayn grabs at his hair. "Same thing!"
"It's not! If Lucky wasn't an idiot, we could still be friends," she shakes her head. "I don't have any problems with you having female friends, Zayn, because I trust you," she says for what seems like the billionth time. "It's both childish and petty of me to make you feel like you can't have friends of the opposite sex."
"Oh yeah?" He nods. "So, I should be okay with you and Lucky, 'cause he's just a friend, right?" He sticks out his bottom lip, shrugging. "S'all he is, isn't he? Friends kiss each other, just like tonight, yeah? They like each other too, hmm? I'm the one who overreacted, didn't I? I'm the one who's wrong," he steps closer, teeth clenched, "aren't I, Anais?"
"I...I mean..." Anais flinches. She literally has no words in which to answer this question he's posed. "He's been my friend for a long time, and-"
"See!" Zayn exclaims, stepping backward and throwing up his arms. "Fucking hell, Anais! Why d'you keep defending him?"
"Defending him?" She gasps. "What? I'm not defending Lucky for anything. It's Soo's birthday, Zayn, remember? I don't want you fighting over something stupid-"
"Stupid?" He gasps. He's visibly shocked. "You think this, us, is stupid, now?"
Anais eyes widen, hurting as they open against the wind in the cold. "Are you serious? What the fuck? Why do you keep twisting my words like that? You know that's not what I mean!"
"Then what do you mean, Anais? Huh?" Zayn is so angry he's not thinking clearly, not really. "What is it then? You wanna choose now to start lying to me?"
And Anais isn't quite comprehending the words he's saying.
Does he even hear her?
Does he even hear himself?
"You sound like Lucky," she snaps. "So I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about that."
"Yeah?" He grits, "Well, lemme change that, 'cause I know what you oughtta do. Choose."
Anais lifts a challenging brow, arms folded tightly against her chest. "Choose?"
Zayn sniffs. "It's him or me, Ana," and he shakes his head. "You can't have us both."
"Zayn," she grits out, "for the last time, girlfriend or not, Lucky is just a friend."
He doesn't understand how she still isn't comprehending this. He nods, though, adding slowly so maybe, maybe she'll understand where he's coming from, "Who's trying to take you from me."
"And he can try all he wants," Anais responds, because how he isn't understanding this is wearing on her patience, "I'm not going anywhere."
"Yeah?" He snaps. "Yeah, Anais? Then it shouldn't be hard, should it? Choose."
"What?" She scoffs. "Between you and a friend? There's no way. You're both in two completely different categorie-"
"Yeah?" He interrupts. "And if we are then you oughtta be able to make a decision. Choose already."
"In that case," she throws up her hands, "I've already chosen, Zayn. It's so fucking obvious who I've chosen."
"Yeah," he nods bitterly. "Seems like you have."
He starts walking.
Anais doesn't quite comprehend the direction this conversation has taken. "Zayn!"
"What?" He whirls around. "Y'know what? Fuck this, Anais, 'cause I'm over it," he shakes his head. "I'm so...I can't," he glares. "I need a break, like, 'cause I can't do this."
Air seeps from Anais' lungs. "Can't do what?"
"This. This, with you and Lucky and the rest of your fuckin' friends," he sneers. "You can have 'em."
"Zayn."
He turns.
"Zayn."
He's walking away.
"Zayn!"
And Anais watches him. She lets him go, because a part of her doesn't believe that he'll really leave her.
Like he does.
And Anais is left in the snow to deal with the friends of theirs who are all probably awaiting information. They'll all ask her what's wrong and see that she's come back to the party alone and they'll all want to know why she's alone.
And Anais will have to tell them.
And Anais will no longer want to play with the puppies.
Anais cannot believe she is alone.
Tonight.
Happy birthday.
Happy birthday, Soo.
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THIS IS WHY THEY CAN'T HAVE NICE THINGS.
It pained me to write this.
Comment and vote and pray for Zanais.
xx