"CHUG, CHUG, CHUG, CHUG!"
I watch in absolute fascination as Luke downs a vase of beer, a literal vase. He took out his mum's flowers, poured out the water, and poured three bottles of beer right in. And he swigged the whole thing back in under a minute.
The boys all cheer and hoot, making boy noises and being all boy-like. They had been doing this for the last twenty minutes and I didn't know if they would ever stop, to be honest with you. In fact I completely regretted coming here at all. But of course I couldn't just leave. I was trapped.
"You want a drink, Ella?" Luke holds the vase out to me and I just stare at it.
Was he serious? "Are you serious?"
"Come on, El." Ashton slaps my back, almost winding me. "You wanted to be one of the guys."
"I never did," I counter. "And I don't drink."
"You don't drink?" Michael scoffs.
"You were drinking at the party," Luke says.
I don't want to tell them that I pretended to because I didn't want them to have another thing to tease me about. "Alcohol is poison for your body," I say stiffly, crossing my arms.
"So is love," Michael says, looking right at me. "But people do that all the time."
I roll my eyes. If they wanted to spend their time smoking and drinking and turning into total wasteoids then fine, but I wasn't going to be involved. I may be in another country with completely different rules from what I'm used to, but that doesn't mean I should put an end to my ambitions. I was going to make it out of here alive. And soon, hopefully. Very, very soon.
"Come on, Calum. You're up next." Luke hands the vase to a very apprehensive looking Calum with an eager grin. I roll my eyes as Calum, yet again, doesn't stand up for himself.
"Do I have to drink the whole thing?" Calum asks shyly.
"Duh. That's the whole point, Hood. Come on, don't be such a pussy."
"Yeah. Calum. Don't be so Asian for once."
"I'm not Asian."
"How about if you do it, El will?"
I look up in fear. "What? No!"
Calum looks hopeful. "Will you?"
"No!" I cry again. "Ashton!"
"What's the big deal, Stanford?" Ashton teases.
"Yeah, Stanford?" Michael mimics, shooting me a playful grin. I just ignore it.
"I am not putting that shit in my body," I state. "You can't make me."
"Oh, can't we?" Luke raises his eyebrow and looks at the other boys with a menacing glance. I eye them all carefully.
"W-What ... are you doing?" I start walking backwards as they all close in on me.
"GET HER!" Michael yells and suddenly they're all pouncing on me and I'm screaming like a god damn psychopath. Ashton heaves me over his shoulder whilst the other boys grip me tight and Luke holds the vase up to me.
"Drink it," he forces.
"No!" I shriek. What the god damn freak of nature shit was this?
"CHUG, CHUG, CHUG, CHUG!"
"WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU ALL?" I screech. "Ashton, put me DOWN!"
"Not until you drink it!" Ashton cries.
"What the HELL?"
"LET'S BURN HER HAIR!" Michael cries.
"MICHAEL!"
"Come on, Ella. Just take a sip," Luke edges. He moves the vase closer and closer to my lips. "You knoowww you wanttt it."
"Is this some kind of entry into your cult?" I cry. "Is this what you do at your guy mate hang outs?"
"You told her?!"
"Just drink the damn beer, Stanford."
"Fine! But will you put me the hell down?"
Ashton obeys and sets me gently back on solid ground. I straighten my shirt and huff, blowing hair out of my face.
"Good grief," I say. "You boys are a piece of work." I then clear my throat and take a deep breath. "Pass me the fucking vase."
Luke does without hesitation and I grip the shiny marble tight. The smell is awful and I really don't know what I'm drinking. There's all kinds of remnants in here. Oh god, I want to gag. I pinch my nose and then throw my head back and begin to chug.
And I chug, and I chug, and I down the whole damn thing in one mouthful before slamming the vase back down on the table. The boys all look at me, impressed, and I just shrug. "Now what?"
"Now, Calum drinks!" Luke cheers, beginning to fill the vase back up again.
"Man, Ella, you've got some lungs." Michael nudges me.
"Who would've thought you had it in you?" Ashton winks.
I just roll my eyes at the both of them, already beginning to feel the alcohol taking it's toll on me. "Bring on the night," I say.
----------
"Never have I ever kissed my cousin at my uncle's family dinner."
"Fuck you, Michael!" Luke cries. "I told you that in confidence!"
"Woah." I hold out my hands. "You kissed your cousin?"
"Mate, that's pretty fucked up," Ashton adds.
"The hot one?" Calum asks.
"I was fucking wrecked," Luke defends. "And it was, like, two years ago. And fuck yeah it was the hot one."
"Luke, that is disgusting," I say. "You're related!"
"Not really. She's my second cousin." Luke shrugs.
"Oh, that's okay then," Ashton says.
"Are you guys serious?" I look around at them all. "Second, third, fourth, you're still related."
"All that matters is the first," Ashton nods, holding up his beer bottle like he's about to give some inspirational speech. "Seconds, thirds and fourths don't matter. You can apply that to everything."
"Hear hear!" Luke cries, holding up his bottle and clinking it with Ashton's.
I roll my eyes, swigging some of my beer back. "You guys are foul."
"Your turn, Luke."
"Alright. Never have I ever .... gone to class stoned."
Ashton, Michael and Luke all take a sip of their drinks and Calum just sits there awkwardly. In fact, he's barely drunken any of his beer. He's done, like, nothing. We're both in the same boat. This game sucks.
"When was this?" I question the boys. "All in the same class?"
"Multiple times," Michael informs.
"You're joking."
"Makes you learn so much better." Luke winks.
"High as a motherfucking kite," Ashton adds. "My favourite state to be in."
"HEAR HEAR!" Luke cheers again, clinking his bottle with Ashton's one more time.
"I have one," Michael speaks up.
"Mate, you had your turn."
"Yeah, you secret revealing fuck."
"No, but I have a good one."
"Fine."
"Okay. Never have I ever had a crush on someone in this room."
My heart drops. That little red headed punk version of Dragonball Z.
Luke hollers with laughter. "Yeah, right, Mikey. Like anyone would-"
We all watch in awe as Calum takes a large swig of his beer.
I feel Michael's eyes on me, burning into my skull like lasers. There's no way in hell I'm going to answer that truthfully. No fucking way. I'll paint my nails bright green in cheap nail polish before I let these boys know my feelings towards Ashton.
"Calum! I knew you liked me!" Luke cries, wrapping his arm around the shy boy and hugging him to his chest.
Ashton clears his throat before taking a swig of his own beer, and I feel my heart burst into a swarm of butterflies. Is this really happening? Does he really like me too? Is this the best day of my life?
"Ashton, you have a crush on Ella?" Michael smirks, looking right at me.
I'm going to die of absolute happiness. I'm going to fly away into the clouds and ride unicorns in a world of love and-
"Yeah, when I was, like, seven."
Oh.
Why do I feel so suicidal all of a sudden?
Fuck, that's fucking awkward.
"What about you, Ella?" Michael keeps pestering.
I swig to hold back my tears and to taste something vulgar to make my body feel less weak. Also because it's true, and that's the game. But I don't tell them that.
"Yeah, when I was seven too."
Ashton gives me a look that I can't quite decipher, but I sure as shit can decipher Michael's. He's saying 'you lying sack of shit' with his eyes.
"Soooo, can we talk about how Calum likes Ella?" Luke speaks up.
My ears perk up. "Wait what?"
"Oh, come on. We all knew that." Ashton rolls his eyes.
"Um, I didn't?" I look at Calum, who's looking very embarrassed. "Calum, is this true?"
"I, uh ... I was actually talking about the picture of Angelina Jolie on the wall ..." Calum squeaks.
We all turn to look at the poster of Angelina Jolie that Luke has on his wall, and where I feel even worse than I did before, the boys all burst into laughter.
"Fuck, that was a good one, you little Asian." Luke slaps Calum's back and Calum grins.
I just sit there in my saltiness, mulling over the fact that nobody likes me when two minutes ago the possibility of two people doing so was in the air. I scull back the rest of my beer. Fuck this.
"Okay," Luke continues, burping really loudly and making me cringe. I was really starting to regret coming to this guy mate hang out. "Never have I ever .... skinny dipped."
Ashton and Luke both take a swig, making Michael and Calum burst into laughter. I just sit in silence, fiddling with the lip of my bottle. I really wish I was back in L.A, where I belonged.
"What, like, together?" Michael asks, grinning widely.
"Yeah." Ashton shrugs.
"Last summer," Luke adds.
"Don't you think that's a little gay?" Calum winces.
"There were girls there, dumbass." Luke rolls his eyes.
"Hot ones too," Ashton cheers, making my insides churn. "Did things to us that you have wet dreams about, Hood."
Calum just rolls his eyes and takes a quiet sip of his beer, ignoring Ashton's statement.
"What do you mean last summer?" Michael speaks up. "I was with you guys last summer."
"You know that week I said I was visiting my family?" Luke says.
"And I was working?" Ashton swigs from his bottle.
Michael hesitates then gasps, pointing at the two blonde boys. "You sons of bitches."
"We went to the city," Ashton continues. "Best week of my life."
"How many girls were there?" Calum asks, wide eyed.
"Enough to make you cry," Luke replies.
"What did you guys do?"
"We lived."
I look up at Ashton and see him leaning against the wall, his head back as he smiles in content. I like this look on him, it strips him of everything negative in his life and of every cool facade that covers him. He looks ... carefree. He looks happy. I never admired someone like I admired myself before; I never took fascination in anyone but me, until I reunited with Ashton.
"We smoked, we drank, we partied." Luke says. "You know."
"What's it like in the city?" Calum asks. Him and Michael are watching Ashton with as much fascination as I am. I'm assuming for different reasons though. I don't know, Ashton is pretty attractive. I wouldn't be surprised if the other boys had a crush on him too.
"It's big," Ashton answers. "Real big. Nothing like this shit old town. The city has life. You've never felt more alive than when you're in the city."
"It's not that great," I speak up, and then awkwardly take a sip of my beer when I realise everyone's staring at me. "I-I mean ... I lived in the city and I didn't really think it was that great."
Michael snorts. "Yeah right, Queenie. You're nothing but a city chick."
"Yeah, Ella. Don't try and fool us. Given the chance, you'd be right back in the city and you know it."
"I mean it," I cry, a little offended that no one's taking me seriously. "Sure, the city has a lot of great things-"
"Everything," Luke interrupts.
I ignore him. "But being down here I realised that the city takes away all the small stuff. Like the sky. It's damn hard to see the stars in the city. You never really know what are stars and what are just reflections."
"Oh, come on," Michael cries. "Who gives a shit about the stars?"
"I do," I choke. "I give a shit about the stars."
"This place sucks," Luke mumbles, stretching out his legs and kicking his feet about. "You live your whole life with the same people, doing the same things, just to become the same people who do the same things. It's bullshit, the whole thing."
"What, the valley?"
"Life."
"I'd kill to go to the city. I'd literally do anything to just get out of this place. Man, Ella, you don't know how lucky you have it."
I don't bother arguing with Michael, because I don't have the energy to tell him just how wrong he really is. I used to believe in luck, I believed that fortune just came down to chance and I was a very lucky person. But I look around at what I have now, the 'fortune', and I take in my surroundings and who I'm with. And is that lucky? Would I say that I'm lucky, looking at what I have? Looking at where I am now? How can anyone consider themselves lucky stuck in this life. Stuck being me.
But then I look at Ashton, and I look at the way he runs his fingers through his hair to tamper the curls, his other hand still grasping his beer bottle. He holds it like nothing I've ever seen, like no other way I've ever seen a bottle being held. And I've never been so jealous of an inanimate object before. And I look at him and observe the way he clenches his jaw, and smiles at something one of the other boys says, and wets his lips when he speaks. And I decide that being here, being alive at the same time as Ashton and being in his existence, well, really, I'm the luckiest of them all.