"Sometimes, his methods and his motives are questionable and even his morals are questionable in the way he does things. But I think his intention is always to protect his [son]." -Victor Garber
Capvt XXIX: Through the Looking Glass
Annabeth
Rome, Autumn x176 BC
THE problem with being nobility was the whispering, the rumors, the gossip about why her stomach hadn't begun to grow round. Some women claimed that she (and Percy) had lied about her virginity (which, technically, they had, but that was just details). Others accused her of miscarriage and she hadn't told anyone—which, honestly, she didn't understand. If she miscarried, wouldn't she have had to go to Meg the Physician?
Her stomach churned at the thought. She wanted to have children, but the idea of losing them... Besides, she wasn't entirely sure about when she wanted to have children. Part of her was still scared out of her wits at the idea of... well, that. The idea of doing that with Percy. It terrified her and... weirdly enough, she wanted to...
Ergh! She stopped in the middle of the streets and shuddered, resisting the urge to stick her tongue out. She'd spent way too much time around Thalia and Luke. And Piper, for that matter.
The people grumbled as they knocked into her and parted around her. That was another problem with being Heir Apparent—there was no freedom to do as she pleased when she felt like she was going stir crazy in the castle. So, of course, she had been reduced to sneaking out through the maid's entrance... as a peasant...
Oh, she was probably going to get into so much trouble.
For a moment, Annabeth glanced over her shoulder at the palace, weighing going back versus walking forward. If she went back, she would be found out without accomplishing her purpose which was to go to the public library. She knew there were likely to be less resources than the one in the castle, but she still wanted to know... she had a suspicion lurking in the back of her mind, that somehow gods older than the Olympians were involved with this plot. If it was a plot, that is. Maybe she was just being overly paranoid.
She didn't think so.
So, Annabeth breathed in deeply and squared her shoulders. On to the bibliotheca then; she would deal with the consequences of her wandering later.
...Hopefully, Percy would never find out about this. Well, he was training her for a reason on how to use a sword, and she wasn't stupid enough to leave it in the castle.
You're not an expert, a voice reminded her. It sounded like Piper. You're a novice still.
Shut up. I'll be fine so long as I don't draw attention to myself.
Why was she talking to the voices inside of her head? Wasn't that a sign of insanity or something?
~...~
That was how Annabeth found herself in the library later that day, looking up books about monsters and the gods with the small, dark skinned woman helping her.
The library, of course, was much smaller than the one she had found in the palace. That made sense, because the palace had more money to create the books. It was about the size as the one back home in Athens. The shelves reminded her of what Daedaelus' labyrinth must have looked like, and it made her wonder what the library in Alexandria looked like.
"Here is a book on the royal lineage and some smaller books about the originals." The woman said, walking back over to her with three large books in her arms. Annabeth stared at the size for a moment—she had never seen such big books, and she wasn't sure if she could read them at all—but she took them from the librarian anyway, because she wasn't about to give up before she even tried. She didn't miss the way the woman's eyes widened a little, as though she was surprised.
"Thank you."
"Y-you're welcome."
She bit her bottom lip, thinking about some of the other things she had heard of when those people were talking. "Do you have any books or scrolls on daimons?" She had seen that word once, in one of Percy's books. She had memorized how to spell it, even though she didn't know what it meant, but she was pretty sure it had something to do with ghosts. There were just too many things she didn't understand, and that made her mad. There was too much this world had to learn, and she couldn't learn how to read fast enough, let alone write.
I want to know everything I can about this world, but I can't learn it fast enough.
She shook her head. First, she had to figure out what a blood seal was, and then she had to understand who or what Eris was, and after that she would figure out what was going on with Nico and the "Shadow Lands." She didn't know why he seemed to afraid, when he was the bravest one out of them. After that, she could try to decode more Greek words, of course. They were starting to get too difficult for her to sound out.
"Of course." The woman said, and she walked off into the maze again. Annabeth stood for a moment, staring off into space, a little lost now that she had nothing to do but to look at the books in her arms. She looked around, and saw a table with a stool she could sit on and put the books on.
She walked over and placed them on top of the table, and pulled the stool out. She sat down.
Legacies, the worn title read. She ran her fingers over the cover; it was old. She could feel the cracks in the leather. When she opened the book, the spine cracked loudly and she sneezed into her elbow from the dust. It mustn't be opened very often either, for that matter.
She turned her eyes back on the script. It was beautiful, the words connecting together with little curls. The paper bent where the scribe wrote the letters—and she began to read.
For the first time in her life, Annabeth had found something she truly enjoyed. There was something in the way she connected the ending of a verb to a subject that made her feel like she was truly in her own skin. It was enrapturing, the feeling—as though she had just found something that she had lost for years, and she felt like she could live doing just that and nothing else for years and years and years, without ever stopping. She could read for years on end, and never get tired from it, because she was always learning.
Another thing she knew was that she loved learning. It was part of her just like the blood that ran through her veins and her feet carried her to places she wanted—or had—to go. When she was younger, she didn't really know much about learning other than she wanted to, but never could outside of the little things she picked up from Luke and Nico and Thalia when they moaned about having to do something or not being able to understand it. It was an unattainable dream, a desire she would never receive because of her gender. Now though, she could learn. It was all because she had married Percy, the Heir Apparent of Rome, and he had granted her greatest desire.
And she had been terrified at the thought of marrying a stranger a full cycle before. It was funny how fate worked out. Maybe from now on, she should just accept that what was going to happen, was going to happen, and to not worry about it. She was going to die eventually anyway, and she might as well live life fearlessly...
The lineage of the first Roman King: Romulus...
She wondered how often she smiled now. Certainly more than she had back in Athens, despite the fact that Luke was an idiot, Thalia was confusing, Piper kept teasing her and Nico... well, she didn't know what to think about him anymore. He was her closest confident once, but now there was this huge gap between them she couldn't seem to close. And that made her sad.
But... maybe people were just going to be people. Maybe she should stop clinging to him, trying to make things go back to how they were when he clearly didn't want them to. Well, they weren't going to anyway. She was Heir Apparent now, and he was her bodyguard. They weren't children who could run around and scream insults at each, or play and sleep overnight in each other's rooms.
Maybe she should just... stop. Maybe she should stop trying so hard.
That made her head spin. She didn't want to give up on him; she had known him since they were small children and to just... give up like that. It felt like a disgrace, and it made her toes curl just thinking about it.
The seventh generation...
She flipped the page. Perhaps she wasn't trying hard enough. Everything had blurred together in the last few seasons, and maybe she just needed to spend more time with her friends. It was difficult talking to them—she hadn't talked to Luke in over a fortnight, Thalia seemed preoccupied every time she talked to her, and Piper was the only one she could talk to on a regular basis, but even she seemed to be growing more distant.
She had been prepared to take on the responsibility of being Heir Apparent, but she hadn't expected it to be so... hard. And she really wanted to learn how to read and how to write and how to defend herself on top of that. Plus, there was Percy.
And to think, when he's Caesar I'll have to run the castle...
A shudder rippled through her at the thought. If only Percy's mother was still alive... then she would be able to learn how to manage it. Actually, she didn't know who did that now...
OCTAVIUS
She blinked at the name, written in fresh ink, that jumped out under the ninth generation selection. She reread it just to make sure. She flipped the page, but it was blank there—she was at the end of the book. Right underneath his name was Children: Perseus, Julia (deceased)
She rubbed her eyes again, just to make sure her head and eyes were working properly. Nothing changed. For a moment she didn't understand. That line went back to Romulus, the king out of legend... which meant that Percy was related to Romulus.
And he had a dead sister too... it was kind of sad that the girl never had a chance to meet her. But it happened so often anyway that the only reason why it made her feel a bit of a twinge in her chest was because she was Percy's sister. The girl probably would have been beautiful and kind, though not as infuriating as Percy was.
Maybe that was why Octavius was who he was... though it didn't make any sense to her why he would be so harsh toward Percy. His only son; only child. Surely, he would've done everything he possibly could to make sure Percy was loved?
But... Romans were more disciplined than Greeks. Maybe he wasn't harsh toward Percy; maybe he was just strict, but it looked harsh to her because was a Greek, and there was no changing that.
She closed that book and pulled out the books based on monsters. There were no titles on the covers, so she opened it. The book didn't make any sounds, so she guessed that it wasn't as old as the other book—which had to be Ancient.
Medusa: Woman cursed by Athena...
Keto: Greater sea serpent. Weapon the titans used to declare war.
She yawned as she flipped through the pages, scanning the names of the monsters and their descriptions. When the woman came back, she found that her neck was stiff and the sun had already begun it's journey toward the west.
"Thank you." She repeated. The woman smiled a little.
"If you need more, tell me and I will get them."
"I'll definitely ask you if I need more."
After she left, Annabeth directed her attention back to the books and opened the one on the gods. She recognized the names of a few daimons inside of it too. This book must record both. That was nice.
Soteria: safety...
Nike: victory
Nememisis: indignitation
Athena: goddess of war and wisdom...
She flipped through more pages. There were so many different names that it was difficult to not skim over them. It was amazing just how many gods there were out there. She didn't know even half of them, and what they represented.
Eris: discord
...Probably never would be able to memorize all of them either. That made her mad—she wanted to know everything about this world, so to not be able to memorize all these names... well, she felt a little like a failure.
Ioke: onslaught
Besides, why would someone memorize all of these personifications in the first place?
Alce: battle-strength
Aletheia: truth
She flipped the page again, and then... there, in bold script, the words THE PROTOGENOI were written. For a moment, she didn't understand what they meant. The protogenoi? She had never heard of them before. And then she looked further down, and written there was a short paragraph:
The Protogenoi—or the primeval gods—were first twelve gods and goddesses who ruled this world, before Terra overpowered them with the assistance of her husband, Caelum. However, they have all faded into the abyss of Tartarus when Terra's kin slew them. Many believe the Protogenoi are legends meant to scare children into obedience.
Anace: necessity
Anace (or Anake) is the goddess of inevitability, compulsion, and necessity... emerged self-formed... driving force with her husband (Chronos) of the unending cycle of time...
Amor: procreation
...The driving force behind of life...
Nox: night
Nox (or Nyx) is the goddess of night... a dark veil of mist drawn forth from the underworld which blots out the light of Aether...
Erebus: darkness
The protogenos of darkness... consort of Nyx... his dark mists enveloped the edges of the world, and fills the deep hallows of the earth...
There were eight more listed—Aether, Chronos, Hemera, Oceanus, Mons, Pontus, Tethys and Thalassa—but she couldn't read most of the words used to describe them. All those names... she knew she had heard them from somewhere. But where?
"Madam?" The woman said, tapping her on her shoulder and Annabeth jumped. "You should leave now. The sun is going down and the streets are dangerous after nightfall."
She glanced out and noticed that the woman was right—she must have been here all day long. That was surprising. She must have lost track of the time...
"All right," she said and closed the book. There was no need to draw attention to herself if she could avoid it. She smiled. "Thank you."
~...~
Annabeth was running through golden floors and blue walls. She skidded around a corner of the wall for the fifth time since the monster began chasing her, stumbling over a tree root. Everything blurred and spun, before realigning in some foreign place.
But she didn't bat an eye. This kept happening.
For some reason, she didn't seem to grow tired —or out of breath either— even though she had been running for such a long time. Far longer than she ever had before, that was for sure. She couldn't stop though—she was being chased by a monster that she could not see, or hear, but she just knew it was there, lurking in the shadows.
And then she heard a woman murmuring, "Caesar, Caesar..." and then the land blurred together and spun. She yelled, her heart in her throat she fell out of the sky, onto the ground. Her head hit something, and all the breath left her lungs for a moment as her eyes watered. But then, it just... was gone. Like that.
She grimaced.
"What?" A male voice said tiredly. Annabeth opened her eyes.
She was in the throne room. That was the only thing that registered in her head. She was in the circulatory throne room in the palace. A black haired woman sat on the on the throne like she ruled the world, her chin propped up on her fist and her right leg crossed over her left. She wore a plunging black toga that went so low that Annabeth could see the round curve of the top of her breasts...
Her ears suddenly felt hot and she looked away quickly. It wasn't that she wasn't used to seeing those parts, but that was usually only in sculptures. Besides, this woman wore black. Or was that a dark purple color?
"Come here, Octavius."
She swerved around in a half circle, and there stood Octavius. His dark eyes glinted in the dark as he swaggered over to the woman. Annabeth didn't understand. Why was the woman in his throne, and why wasn't he calling for the guards to arrest her?
Wait, is that a toga? She stared at the woman's linens again, for an entirely different reason this time. That... was a toga. But that meant this woman was a prostitute— but that couldn't be right because she looked too healthy to be a prostitute.
Then again, it wasn't like she would know anything about prostitution. She had been a princess.
"Closer." Was the woman purring? And why was Octavius not screaming at her? She peaked at Octavius, expecting to see some form of fury in his eyes but... there was something soft in his expression.
WHAT IN TARTARUS?!
She wanted to slink away and erase this image from her head. With bleach. But for some reason, she couldn't move her legs... and she was far too fascinated with watching these two people and their interactions with each other. She was curious to how the woman seemed to have the king hooked around her small finger, and why Octavius was allowing it. Octavius bumped into the throne, and he stopped there.
"Darling, remember when I asked you if you would trust me for anything?"
"Of course."
Annabeth gagged as a thought as to where this conversation was heading toward. Ewwwww. I want to leave this place! Why can't I leave? I don't need to listen to love confessions and Octavius being mushy-gushy with his... mistress?
"I..." she seemed to hesitate. Annabeth leaned forward, suddenly interested in the conversation again. Was she going to tell Octavius she was pregnant with his illegitimate heir? Would he abandon her and the child, or would he marry her? What about Percy? Maybe she was going to ask Octavius to propose to her after courting in secret for ten years? Or—or—
"What is it?"
"Do you remember what I said, about Rome being a blood seal?"
She felt vaguely disappointed for some reason. There was going to be no screaming, or crying? There was no secret child or wedding proposals? But then something clicked in her head—blood seals. There had been a copy of her talking about blood seals, and she had been planning to research blood seals at the library before she got to distraction by reading about the gods. Which meant that this woman had to be connected to the people who had copied her appearance... and that meant that she had to know something about the blood seals.
"I remember. I also remember not approving."
"Octavius, Perseus won't be harmed—I swear on my name."
"What about Roma? The populus? I love you, but there are lines I have to draw, and my kingdom is one of them. Perseus is the other."
She sighed. Annabeth wondered if her stomach was turning because of that meat she ate earlier that smelled funny, or because the idea of Octavius loving someone literally made her sick. And this was the man who whipped his son because he didn't agree with his father's principles?
"I promised the same for your daughter, Julia."
"Look at where that got her. She's dead now." Octavius' tone was bitter. They were silent for a few heartbeats.
The woman reached up, her pale hand wrapping around his neck and—
Annabeth's eyes widened and she felt dizzy as she watched as Octavius and the mystery woman kiss with a ferocity that she had never witnessed before. It looked like they were eating each other with the way their mouths were moving, and the way he was climbing over her and the grunts and groans— and then the next thing was her toga coming off.
Oh no. No. No no no no no. I do not need to be scarred for life—ugh. Ewww! What in Hades' loin cloths? Why can't I move?
The scene spun away again, and she felt so relieved that her knees buckled under her weight. She might have passed out if she hadn't been dumped into a sunlit meadow—or, she may have vomited up her dinner.
What's going on? She wondered, rubbing her forehead when a small ache started to form there. Why had she talked about blood seals? What was a blood seal? And weren't Caesars supposed to not fall prey to lust? Weren't Caesars not supposed to scar their daughter-in-laws for life with their... nightly activities?
"Hello."
Annabeth spun around in a circle. A girl with red hair—like fire, a voice whispered in the back of her head—stood in front of her. She stood tall, her green eyes sparkling like she was thinking of several ways to steal your money pouch. Her skin was so pale that the spots on her face looked black against her skin. Her toga was white and long and loose, blowing in the wind with her hair.
"Salve?"
The girl smiled. "It's nice to finally meet you, Annabeth."
How does she know my...
"My name is Rachel."
Annabeth frowned. She heard that name from somewhere, but she wasn't sure where it was exactly... someone mentioned it to her once, in the context of death...
Her name was Rachel.
"Oh." She said blankly. Percy had mentioned a Rachel to her, once, shortly after they had gotten married. During the Gladiators, actually... that meant that if she was talking to a dead person in a pretty meadow, then she... "I must be dead."
Rachel shook her head and laughed. "No. Not yet. You're just dreaming."
"I must be insane then."
Rachel rolled her eyes. "I can see why he likes you. You both have the same sense of humor."
Percy and humor? She wondered, trying to picture Percy telling a joke. All she could see was a big black mass of emptiness. And then she suddenly felt a little uncomfortable as she realized that she was basically talking to Percy's dead ex-fiancé who he probably still loved. A lot. His first choice. His choice.
Rachel must have been reading her mind somehow, because her face sobered and she commanded, "Walk with me."
So, she turned in perfect sync with Rachel and widened her stride so that she could catch up with the gir—woman? Technically, she wasn't a girl herself even though she thought of herself as such, and Rachel had to be older than she was. She wiped her sweaty hands on her toga.
"You know, when we were little, Percy, Reyna and I used to play in a meadow like this. Occasionally, we brought Jason along when we grew older to have picnics."
Annabeth smiled at the thought. Three children wrestling each other, all three of them nobility, and the two girls standing their ground against Percy. It was rather sweet, the image.
"I'm glad he's found someone else." She blinked and looked at Rachel, who only smiled at her. She almost looked innocent, with those wide eyes, but there was something devious in her eyes that made her on guard mentally. "After all, he can't be the only one not paired off with someone." She bumped her shoulder against Annabeth's, making her freeze at the sudden contact. But she relaxed quickly, when she realized that Rachel seemed a lot more relaxed than most Romans. She seemed more Greek to her than Roman.
"You're a lot nicer than I thought you would be."
"What? Did the others make me out into some sort of demon?" Rachel laughed at her own joke. Annabeth shook her head.
"No. They don't talk about you much, really. Actually, Percy only told me about you once."
Rachel frowned. "That kelp head." Kelp head? Why does she call him kelp head? Isn't kelp some plant that grows underwater? "He's not still blaming himself, is he?"
She frowned too, thinking over her question and her interactions with Percy. There were times when he seemed to personally enjoy being sarcastic and rude (usually when she was training), and then there were times when he was serious (usually when he was doing Heir Apparent stuff). She couldn't remember any times when he seemed like he was blaming himself for something, or bitter over something for that matter.
"Well, I don't think..." And then she paused. Actually, there had been one time, when they had been talking about soulmates. It had seemed to insignificant to her though, that she had almost forgotten about their conversation, but now... maybe... "Well, maybe. I'm not sure."
Rachel sighed. "You can never be sure with him. He changes like the ocean."
There was silence for a while. It wasn't comfortable, the silence, but it wasn't exactly uncomfortable enough to make her want to twitch and itch to draw her saber to stab thin air just to see if she could break it. So, she just waited it out, hoping that Rachel would speak up because she didn't know how to.
Rachel didn't speak up.
And then she thought of the blood seals, and she wondered... "Rachel? Can I ask you a question?"
Rachel smiled at her. "You already did." She glared at her, and she giggled. "Ask away."
"Do you know anything of blood seals?"
Rachel's smile slipped and her hand fell to her abdomen. She stared at it for a moment—why there? Had she been pregnant? ...But the only way to get pregnant was to... actually, it shouldn't surprise her. So why did she feel a little envious? Besides, you didn't want to move on to the physical stage of your relationship, and he's only honoring your request. "I was murdered for my knowledge of blood seals."
Annabeth froze, instantly feeling guilty for her assumptions.
"I can't tell you much, because that will endanger you and... I can't do that to Percy again. But I can say this: blood seals are the work of the Primeval Gods. Do not get tangled up, do not research into them, and... be careful in Roma. Neither of you know just how truly dangerous it is."
Annabeth's head spun with all this new information. Rachel knew something about the blood seals, she knew something about Roma, but she wasn't telling her for her safety? She knew she should appreciate it, but she honestly was just fed up with everyone treating her as some fragile child who wouldn't be able to handle anything that might be remotely scary. Besides, there was no way she would be able to let it rest, now that Rachel had said that much.
"Tell me," she pleaded, taking Rachel's hands. "Please, tell me everything you know."
Rachel looked away and shut her eyes. "I can't, Annabeth. I'm sorry, but I can't."
She knew it was irrational, but she grew angry anyway. She could see that Rachel wasn't going to be swayed (and she had a feeling that even if she tried, Rachel was more stubborn than she was), but that still didn't make her happy. She pulled her hands away. She was about to say something that probably would have made Percy look at her twice, when—
The scene blurred and faded, and then appeared again. Rachel looked frightened. "I said too much!"
"What?" She half asked, half snarled. "You told me nothing!"
Rachel met her eyes, and Annabeth couldn't move again under the intensity of that stare. It was so... so... full of something inside of it, that it made her feel like Rachel could see right through her, just like Reyna seemed to. "I mean it," she said. "Some truths are better to be left buried. Ignorance is sometimes better, especially in this case."
The stare lost its affect on her. She wanted to scream and rave that she had been ignorant for seventeen years of her life—seventeen years that she could never regain—and that she would never allow herself to be ignorant again. But the scene tilted and swirled again, and she was falling backward so fast that it felt like that time Nico had kidnapped her by shadow traveling—
And then she was staring at the darkened ceiling of their room. Her breath seemed unnaturally loud in the still silence of the chambers, where she couldn't hear Percy's soft breathing in her ear. It had once drove her mad, his weird cuddling habit, but she feeling his warm body against hers now. She looked at his side of the bed, even though she knew it would be as empty as it had been the last four sunrises, and it was.
A suffocating wave of loneliness washed over her then, surprising her with its intensity, and she rolled over onto her right side so that she could see the stars. Tears burned in her eyes, but she stubbornly fought them back because she would not cry over that idiot.
But... she couldn't deny it. She missed him. She missed him a lot more than she thought she would, especially after that strange dream—it had to have been a dream, even though she had no idea how her mind could come up with something so screwed up—and after her readings with the Protogenoi. She wanted to tell him about what she had figured out, about how scared she was beginning to feel. She wanted him to hug her (had they ever hugged before, really?) and she wanted to kiss him again, and again, and again. She knew he would be back soon, but still... She knew she would feel so much better once he got back to Roma again.
As she stared at the night sky, with all of these things on her heart, she wondered if he was looking at the stars right now too.
Author's Note: I have been incredibly busy with school these last two weeks, attempting to figure out how to balance "free time" with "school time" which is... fun. -_- So, basically, I wrote the entire last bit today for three hours, and then I edited it all in one swoop (which explains the errors, since right now I'm about ready to fall asleep... and I need to make my bed).
Dedicated to Kashina_K for all the support she gave me today. :) (I hope I spelled that right...)