You spotted him before he spotted you, Karasu Tabito, darting across the grass with his arms stretched out, chasing after a cluster of crows that had landed near the sandbox. His laugh was bright, unbothered at first, and you couldn't help but think he looked... Well, rather silly. He looked like he genuinely believed the crows might suddenly decide to let him join their flock.
But the birds didn't stay. They scattered up into the sky with a loud bat of their wings, leaving Karasu standing there alone, his shoulders sagging.
You walked closer, shaking your head.
"You're scaring them, dummy," You say, trying to tease and call out his ridicule.
However the look on his face stopped you. His mouth tugged down in a pout, his eyes darker than usual as he watched the sky.
Was he really getting so upset over crows? This boy was full of surprises. You let out a sigh, feeling bad for calling him a dummy.
"They don't like me," Karasu muttered, toes scuffing against the dirt.
"Does it matter what some silly crows think?"
"I don't want them to be scared of me."
"Karasu, crows are scared of all humans, it's just their survival instincts."
Karasu's heart was soft, that you knew from years of friendship. You were in the same class as Karasu, and had been in the same elementary school since you both joined. It was your last year however, and you'd be going to middle school very soon.
For a moment, you didn't know what to say to respond to Karasu's defeated look, he was staring at the ground, biting his lip to block its quiver.. Naturally, you blurted out the first thing that came to mind
"I'll get you one."
His head snapped toward you, messy hair sticking out in the wind.
"You'll... what?"
"I'll get you a crow," you said again, trying to sound serious even though your cheeks warmed. "One that won't fly away. Promise."
Karasu blinked at you, the earlier sadness shifting into surprise, then something warm. A grin spread across his face, not his usual smirk, but something almost shy.
"You can't promise stuff like that," he said, though his voice had lifted, lighter. "What if you break it?"
"I won't, I keep my promises." you shot back, crossing your arms stubbornly.
It really was stupid, promising to get him a crow. You laughed in your head at that thought, but the way Karasu smiled made you feel like sacrificing your life just to see how much brighter it could get if he had an actual, tangible crow.
ִֶָ. ..𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ𓄿་༘࿐ ⋆ ˚｡⋆｡°,⭑
Middle school afternoons had a way of dragging on. Practice ended late, the sun dipped fast, and the air carried that sleepy chill that made you want to walk slower on the way home.
Karasu walked beside you, hands stuffed deep in his pockets, his hair sticking out at odd angles as always. He kicked at a loose pebble on the sidewalk, following its uneven path.
Your friendship had gotten closer, he was now classified as your best friend. You were still, thankfully, by a stroke of luck, in the same class. He was extremely smart for his age, so were you, although you had areas you struggled in, where Karasu would offer to help you. That kind gesture ended up with Karasu at your place often, in the warmth of your room, you'd lay on the floor. Using untouched science papers as an excuse to strike a conversation.
Today was another one of those days as you walked into your room together. You rested on your stomach, lying down, just blankly staring at the paper as if it would magically answer itself.
"The water cycle is easy. Don't worry so much." Karasu reassured, he was sitting down, leaning on your bed's board as his gaze shifted from you to the paper you held.
"The name's funny. Condensed milk-ation?" You tried reading.
He couldn't help but to let out a small chuckle.
"Hey, y/n..." Karasu called. "Is my name weird?"
The chuckle from earlier was replaced with a hurt smile, he was covering the pain with a false sense of happiness. He didn't like talking too much about feelings. What a stupid waste of time he would say. But around you, he felt it was okay once in a while.
Karasu had grown taller, his voice starting to drop, and yet, people still seemed to find ways to poke fun at him. Some kids snickered about the way his hair stuck out. Others whispered about his name Karasu, crow. as if it was a joke instead of something that made him special.
You noticed the way he'd laugh it off, shoulders squared and his trademark smirk plastered on like a shield. But when the laughter from the other kids got too sharp, you saw the flicker in his eyes, the same one from that day in the park when the birds flew away.
"It's the bullies again isn't it? Don't let them get to you," you told him.
Karasu tilted his head back, staring up at the ceiling. He snorted, but it didn't sound amused. "Easy for you to say. You're not mediocre."
"You aren't either."
And Karasu looked back at you, a smirk still plastered on like a loose bandaid. Like he didn't believe he wasn't mediocre, like he didn't believe that his name was something that made him special instead of outcasted.
Your chest tightened. You wanted to say something, anything to wipe that look off his face.
"So what if they don't get you? Crows don't need the whole world to understand them. They just need their flock."
Karasu blinked, surprised. Then he gave a small laugh, almost embarrassed. "And what, you're saying you're part of my flock?"
Oh there he was, the real Karasu. The one that had a real smile.
"I like your name, Karasu."
"I like the way you say my name, y/n."
ִֶָ. ..𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ𓄿་༘࿐ ⋆ ˚｡⋆｡°,⭑
High school Karasu wasn't the same boy you first met in the park. Being close friends, you went to the same High school, it was also practical as you both lived close to the school anyways.
He'd grown into himself, taller, faster, and cockier. The smirk on his face was practiced. He was also incredibly strong, he played for the school's football team, it was no surprise he got in, his skills were outstanding.
He wasn't the same boy who got bullied anymore, that's what he wanted everyone to think. But you knew better. Karasu acted like he didn't care, like nothing anyone said could touch him, but you remembered middle school. You remembered the way he'd laughed off the teasing even when you knew it stung.
Now, he wore confidence like armor.
"You're staring," he said one afternoon, tossing a soccer ball from hand to hand as you sat on the bleachers after his practice. You told him you'd come watch him play.
"I'm not," you shot back, though you were.
Karasu raised a brow, clearly amused. "Don't tell me you're impressed. You've known me too long for that."
"You think too highly of yourself."
"And you don't think highly enough," he countered, dropping down to sit beside you.
He leaned back, propping himself up on his arms, eyes drifting up. A pair of crows circled overhead, their caws sharp against the fading light.
"Still keeping your promise?" he asked suddenly, voice quieter now.
It took you a second to realize what he meant. The promise in the park. The crow you'd vowed to get him.
You smiled. "You remember? Fine, one day, I'll catch you a crow."
He glanced at you. "...Guess you're the only one who hasn't flown off yet."
You were going to say something, but he let out a laugh and ruffled your hair like always, hiding whatever honesty had slipped through in that one line.
But you caught it.
ִֶָ. ..𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ𓄿་༘࿐ ⋆ ˚｡⋆｡°,⭑
During high school, you continued your tradition of studying with Karasu. You were still great friends, however Karasu had some other people in his life as well, and you respected that. So it was quite refreshing when you, your friend Marisa, Karasu, and his friend Hiori got paired for a biology project together. You were going to go study at the library that day after school.
You talked to Hiori before, he was a nice guy, he was pretty smart too. Since Karasu was his friend, you didn't mind him too much. Marisa was your friend, she was in the same middle school as you and Karasu, however you too only got close during your high school days.
That early evening, you walked into the library, your backpack slung over one shoulder, and spotted the group already gathered around a table near the back.
"Hey, you made it," Karasu said, looking up at you.
You sat down with the group, everyone greeting you as you were the last to arrive. Your friend Marisa, already working on a presentation draft. You sat next to her, while Hiori and Karasu were on parallel ends of the table.
"I'm gonna go find some books on cells, I won't be too long." Hiori said before standing up and exploring the library to get material.
The library was fairly empty, especially on the top floor where you and your group sat. So you didn't spend much time worrying about making too much noise. And while Hiori was gone, Karasu especially didn't care.
While you were working on research, Karasu kept cracking jokes. At first, they were funny, even you managed to let out a laugh. Then, you slowly realised that they weren't for you. Every time Karasu would say something witty, his attention was on Marisa. So eventually, you stopped looking up from your laptop and Karasu and Marisa kept talking.
What was wrong with you? You shouldn't have been so bothered, so affected by Karasu having a life outside of you. You had friends other than him. But with Marisa, he seemed different, it tugged at your heart, why were you feeling like this?
Hiori arrived again, his soft blue eyes widening at the sight of you hiding your face in your screen while Karasu and Marisa kept a conversation going. Hiori sat, opposite you, looking at you as he set the books down.
"Yo, I got some books I thought'd be useful for ya." He said with a sweet Kansai accent.
"Thanks!" Marisa exclaimed, grabbing a book as she flipped through the pages.
Hiori looked at you again, he knew something was up.
"You good, y/n?" He asked to which you nodded, holding up a fake smile.
"Kay, if ya say so." Hiori replied.
You busied yourself writing notes, trying to shake the feeling that something had shifted, just a little. Even if it was just the way he smiled at her. When it could've been at you. Marisa was never that close of a friend, but you felt such betrayal and sin for feeling this way towards her. You were being a bad friend to her and Karasu, was it so easy to forgive yourself?
You couldn't do this anymore. You had to escape this awkward situation. It was as if you were third-wheeling Karasu and Marisa. You got up abruptly, the shriek of the chair causing everyone's attention to divert towards you.
"I'm- bathroom..." You managed to spurt through your conflicting emotions.
Then you sped away, not to the bathroom but behind a tall bookshelf. You leaned back, pushing a book or two further into the shelf, and you cursed yourself for feeling jealous. You took deep breaths, by the time you calmed down, you heard a noise coming from the other end of the shelf, and your heart quickened again, panic and curiosity flooding you. You felt bad for eavesdropping, but it'd be worse to come out in the state you were in.
"I got the book from here." Hiori said.
"Alright, I'll put it back then." It was Karasu.
"Hey, Tabito, what's up with you and Marisa?"
"Hm? Marisa? Why are you asking?
"Dunno. You seem awfully close today. What's your opinion on her?"
"She's cute."
You bit your lip, it felt like a heavy weight crushed your shoulders. Marisa? Cute? Yes. You felt so jealous, why couldn't you be cute? Why couldn't you be as pretty as Marisa? Why couldn't Karasu call you those things? Fuck it all.
"That's bold even for you Tabito." You heard Hiori say.
"What?"
"y/n." Hiori said.
Your name being broadcast brought more attention to their conversation, you strained your ears so you were able to hear the slight hitch of Karasu's breath at the mention of you.
"And what about her?" Karasu asked.
"She seems... uneasy at that fact. I know what you feel for her-"
"I know her well, if she was having a problem, she would've said so."
"I dunno... she seems- nevermind Karasu, just look out for her 'kay? I don't want you losing what you have."
You heard a pat, probably on Karasu's shoulder as the sound of Hiori's footsteps got presumably fainter.
"Fuck." You heard Karasu mutter and then the footsteps of his own got fainter.
After a good moment of processing the conversation, you decided to go back to the group, sitting at your seat as you didn't utter a word, and instead focused on the presentation.
You could tell the tension got thicker, as Karasu and Marisa didn't exchange comments, and everyone's attention was on their own things. Each one of you looked like you wanted to break the silence, to say something which would probably be better kept unsaid. But none of you did. You owed the awkward but necessary silence to Hiori, he had that conversation with Karasu, although the silence was bad, Karasu and Marisa flirting would've been gut-wrenching.
The rest of the study session was as classmates, you didn't speak unless there was an inquiry about the project. Karasu was probably thinking about what Hiori said, he was probably considering your feelings, and Marisa looked confused. You can't blame her, one second she was blushing at Karasu's words and next... he's ignoring her. All because of you. You wanted to say something. "You can talk to each other, it's ok." but that would only paint you as more jealous. So you let the jealousy swallow you. Consume you.
Before you knew it, 9pm struck. The library was about to close, so you packed your things, bag slung over your shoulder again as you said your farewells to Marisa.
"Hey, y/n. Can I talk to you for a minute?" Marisa asked.
You agreed and she took you into a secluded part of the library, away from Hiori and Karasu, who were having their own conversation.
"What's up?" You acted friendly despite the early jealousy you felt.
"Karasu..." She started and that caused your eyes to darken, however it was an inevitable conversation you needed to have. "Look, I'm sorry if we were discluding you."
"Don't be."
"But I am, god, I really am. I should've thought about how you felt."
"Thank you Marisa." You said as you took her hands in your own, grateful for her words.
"Please don't worry though, nothing like that is going on between me and Karasu. I wouldn't steal him from you."
Warmth spread across your cheeks, but you couldn't deny what Marisa was implying, she was right after all.
"But just saying, you should tell him already. We're about to go to college, you might not have another chance."
Shit, you knew that, but you couldn't just tell Karasu what you felt. You didn't admit it to yourself, so how could you tell him?
Hiori and Marisa lived the opposite direction to you and Karasu, so they went their separate ways as you and Karasu made your way down the streets, walking together yet the distance felt bigger than it was. The cold autumn breeze felt like a slap, causing you to shiver.
"Cold?" Karasu finally said something.
"I'm okay."
"No. No you're not."
You knew, he wasn't talking about the cold anymore.
"Look, y/n. I'm so sorry."
You didn't reply. Just stared at the ground as Karasu looked back at you, stopping his walk to face you. He rested one of his hands on your shoulder, causing you to stop walking as well, leaving you both in the middle of the footpath. You looked up at Karasu as he spoke again.
"I shouldn't have acted so close with Marisa. I should've made you feel more included and I'm so damn mediocre for that. I didn't mean for you to hurt y/n."
His words were laced with undeniable softness, his smirk fully gone, replaced with a concerned expression. Karasu was worried. Worried he would lose you.
"It's okay Karasu. Thank you for apologising."
"Don't forgive me so easily, fuck, it makes me feel worse."
"I'm in the wrong Karasu. You're allowed to have other people in your life damnit."
"They might be in my life, but they aren't in my flock. Only you are."
The memory floated back, that day where Karasu said you were the only crow in his flock that didn't fly away.
"Karasu-"
"You still say my name the same. Thank you."
You continued looking into his eyes, like they had all the answers in the world. Karasu's hand shifted from your shoulder to your face, cupping half of it, his fingers running over your jaw.
"I'm not losing you again." He whispered.
ִֶָ. ..𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ𓄿་༘࿐ ⋆ ˚｡⋆｡°,⭑
College had pulled the two of you in different directions. Different campuses, different routines, different lives. But despite the distance, there was one thing you both agreed on, you'd meet often and catch up.
You never got a chance to confess to Karasu, now you weren't sure if the feelings were the same, but you were nonetheless excited to meet Karasu at the park that evening.
The park looked the same as it had when you were kids, swings creaking and crows flying.
You spotted him first. Karasu was leaning against the old swing set, hands stuffed into his jacket pockets, hair as messy as ever. When he saw you, his grin widened.
You exchanged greetings and for a moment, you both just stood there, watching the leaves drift down around you. Then Karasu tilted his head toward the crows perched on a nearby branch.
"Do you remember?" Karasu asked softly.
"Remember what?"
"Your promise, you said you'd get me a crow."
"I guess I did." you admitted.
Karasu turned toward you fully, his expression softer now, stripped of the cocky edge he showed the rest of the world.
"Well... looks like you kept it."
You blinked. "Kept it? How?"
He gave a small laugh and shook his head.
"You're still here, aren't you? After all this time. Guess I didn't need a crow after all, I needed you."
The wind rustled the branches, sending a few crows into flight above you. You watched them rise into the sky, their calls sharp but not lonely. In that moment you realized that maybe the promise had never been about the crow at all.
It had always been about staying, about being in his flock.
"But I'm no crow." you said.
"You're right, there's one factor that separates you and that bird, you aren't scared of me."
As if by instinct, you both leaned closer, like a magnetic pull. You heard the caw of a crow, it was a noise that you could hear, unlike the unspoken voice of Karasu. But you knew what he was saying. And he knew you'd say it back.
Sometimes, actions do speak louder than words.
So in one swift motion, Karasu's hand found your back, pushing you flush against him, your head buried in his chest as he rested his head on top of yours, inhaling the scent of your hair.
"Thank you, y/n."
Then right when Karasu pulled back, to look you in the eye, the distance closed again and your lips collided, crashing onto each other. The kiss conveyed all the unspoken words, the unspoken confession that lingered in the air. And you melted into it. The kiss wasn't soft, it wasn't rough, it was real. It was a method of conversation.
So when the kiss broke, leaving you both blushing and panting, all you wanted to do was scream the words. Scream what you really felt. But all that came out was a broken whisper.
"Karasu I love you."
Karasu broke down. Both his hands gripped your shoulders, almost painfully as he embedded his face into your neck, causing you to freeze.
"y/n. I've wanted to hear that for so long, ever since we were kids."
ִֶָ. ..𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ𓄿་༘࿐ ⋆ ˚｡⋆｡°,⭑
With that, there was no surprise finding yourself in Karasu's apartment that night. You were pushed against his bedroom wall, him leaning over you as he kissed you again. This time rougher, demanding. He went in with tongue, intertwining and exploring.
Your legs wrapped around his torso, he was the only thing keeping you stuck on the wall, like a painting. His hand made its way to your hair, tangling with the soft strands as you wrapped your hands around his neck, pushing him impossibly closer.
Before you could process what was happening, you were both on his bed as his signature smirk was back. Just from the way he looked at you, you knew how this night was going to end.
And you were right, both of you were under his covers, out of breath from previous events as he held you close, so close, you could hear his heart beat.
"I didn't get a crow, but I got you." He said as he placed a kiss on your forehead.
"But I got a crow, and now this crow is mine, forever." You whispered.
"Forever?"
"Forever."