I'm running...something's chasing after me! Mommy please come and save me, please, mommy come and take me away! I'm so scared, the red people are running after me...mommy! I can't run anymore, I can't breathe, please! I'm gonna fall, there's a big hole in the ground, I'm gonna fall in the pit and drown please mommy save me! What did I do wrong? Why do I have to be like this? They're catching up to me, I can't run any faster...help!
Mommy!
"MOMMY!" I screamed as loud as I could. Where am I, where's my mommy, I want her now!
A person ran into the room and next to me. She was short and had a white dress with a red cross on it and she had a little funny hat on her head. She had long black hair and she was not my mommy.
"Shh, it's okay Amber...shh, you're in the hospital sweetie. I'm your nurse, Emma. Everything's gonna be alright."
The nurse held me in her arms and kissed me all over my head. She rocked back and forth and quieted me down, saying how everything's gonna be alright.
"Where's my mommy? Why am I here?" I asked the nurse, pulling the covers closer to me. It was cold in this little grey room, it was nothing like home. It was cold and smelled like purple pills and it was scary.
The nurse sat down on my bed and smoothed my hair down.
"Oh, poor sweetie. It's okay, you're going to be okay. You're in the hospital, you just had surgery. Remmember?"
No, I don't! The only thing I can rememmber is that the mean nasty old doctor put a needle in my neck and it hurt! Where's my mommy?
"No, I don't. I already asked you, where's my mommy? She's s'posed to be here and be with me, now you go out and find her and bring her here."
The nurse patted my cheek. "No, that's not how it works here baby. Oh dear, she didn't tell you did she? You've been here for a week now darlin', fast alseep in this little room. You were in a coma."
I know what a coma is, it's when you go to sleep for a long time without waking up. But Emma is a big fat liar because I wasn't sleeping for a week.
I started to cry.
"Now now, no need to cry. I'll explain everything. Oh...this is so sad honey, I promise you this is not your fault, okay? Your mommy...she's not coming back."
What?
"Your mommy had to leave you here with us, Amber. She's not coming back, she went to live with her boyfriend for a while. Your daddy, well, he's gone too. They...don't think it's best for you to live with them anymore so they brought you to us."
Emma is a big fat LIAR.
"No, stop it, stop lying, I want my mommy and my daddy, you stop telling lies!"
Emma held me closer and shushed me again. "You're going to stay with us for a while, baby. Maybe a long time but that's okay, we'll take care of you. And one day, we're gonna find you a nice family to take care of you. But for the meantime, you stay here and live with us, and soon we'll bring you and loads of other kids just like you to a place. You're going to live with them over there and they'll take care of you. These kids, well, they're special, like you, Amber. Okay?"
I said nothing for a long time, but nodded afterwards. She smiled.
"Good! Well, we might as well bring you breakfast huh? It's already 8 in the morning. I'll call the doctor in a while, but first let's clean you up."
She picked me up and carried me to the bathroom. It was in the corner of my little room and it had a shower and a small towel next to it.
Emma put me down and said, "Now you just wait here one moment and I'll call the other nurses to help me, m'kay? Guess what, I'll give you a big girl job to do. You have to make sure the temperature is nice and warm, and it's your job to control the hot and cold water. Now you can do that, can't you?"
"Uh huh."
She smiled. "Good! I'll be right back!"
Emma patted me and then left the bathroom. It was white and small and scary, plus it was cold. There was a window on the wall and outside it was cloudy and grey. I'm not listening to Emma, I'm not doing her stupid big girl job.
She can't make me, only my mommy can.
And I don't think mommy would abandon me, she'll never do that. And I wasn't in a coma either, I was just taking a nap. My room is small and there's just a bed and I'm alone and lonely, I want my mommy.
I didn't get surgery, if I did, where's the big band-aid? And nothing hurts 'cept my neck.
I'm gonna get out of here.
I let the water run in the shower and I opened the door. I went down the hallway and stood there, looking around.
What is this place?
It's not a regular hospital, 'cause regular hospitals have rooms and people and doctors in the halls. This one had a long white hallway and only a few people walked by.
I'm scared.
I ran down the hallway, the really really long hallway and almost bumped into a lady.
This lady was in a white hospital dress and was looking at me. She was skinny and her eyes and skin were grey, she looked dead. She walked slowy and had an ultra long tube running from inside of her to her arm.
I had one of those tubes before. They put them in you sometimes when you can't pee. They hurt alot, why did this lady have them on her?
She walked up to me and her eyes looked panicky.
"This is...no place...for a young'un like you," she whispered.
Huh?
She held my shoulders and brought me closer to her. She smelled icky and her breath was stinky, worse than daddy's breath in the morning.
"You shouldn't be here! They'll...they'll hurt you! They'll send you off with lots of other young'uns, lots of them, to the children asylum, where they keep the crazy kids! You shouldn't be here! They'll rip your innocence appart!"
I don't understand this crazy old lady. What's she talking about?
"Do you know where my mommy is?" I asked her.
She shook her head and shushed me. "Don't talk too loud! You'll bring them here, they'll find me. I don't know where y'mama is. Heck, I don't even know where my own mama is!" she laughed.
I giggled. "You're too old to have a mommy, she's probably floating in heaven with other old people now!"
The lady smiled. "Now yer a good innocent one aren't ye? M'names Cindy. Now let me tell you, I've been here since I was a young girl of 13."
"13? Wow, that's really big, why were you here? Why didn't your mommy come and fetch you?"
She laughed again. "Why, my own mother didn't care about me at all, she left me here with them doctors. I'been here for 40 years, little one. 40 years all by myself, and my mama didn't come and get me outta here neither. They didn't let me go and live with the other kids 'cause they said I was too crazy. Too crazy to live with other crazy little kids, now ain't that a hoot!"
I smiled at her. She's a nice old lady. Plus I don't even mind her stinky breath anymore.
"They'll come for you soon, soon, little one. Don't let them tear you appart. Don't take their nasty pills, please little one. I was young and innocent just like you once, but they tooks that away from me!"
She frowned and looked like she was gonna cry. Did I do something wrong?
"Amber?" a nurse called out.
Cindy looked like she was panicking.
"I gotta go, don't let them find me! Don't let them hurt you, them mean old doctors!" and she ran away, limping a bit and dragging her tube along with her.
"Amber, there you are, you silly kid! We've been looking for you forever, now let's go give you a nice warm shower."
Nurse Emma came and picked me up.
"That's Carey," she said, pointing to a tall red haired lady behind her. "She'll help us clean you up. Say 'hi Carey!'"
I didn't say 'hi Carey'.
They brought me back to my room and plopped me down in the bathroom again. My room was cleaned when I was gone and it even had a teddy bear on the pillow.
Carey lifted my hospital dress and chucked it in the bin. "Now we won't be needing that anymore."
They stuck me under the water. Eeep! It was cold and they didn't even bother to tie my hair in a bun so it wouldn't fall in my face.
"That's cold!" I said as I held my arms around me. Nurse Emma giggled.
"Oh, I'm sorry honey...here," she turned the water warmer. "Ain't that better? And you don't need to be hidin' yourself, we're all girls here!"
What do I know?
They laughed and started putting soap in my hair. It was...really nice, it wasn't the dish soap mommy uses on me.
"Am I allowed to use this soap?" I asked.
They looked at me funny. "Of course darlin', why not?"
"Mommy only uses dish soap on me cause she says I'm not worth real soap," I had to explain.
I have to explain everything around here. Grown ups are silly!
"Oh, dear. You can use this one, it smells lovely doesn't it?"
I nodded. You know, nurse Emma's real funny. She only speaks in questions most of the time. Its funny, like the cartoons!!
They finished washing me and dried me up with the small towel. "You get a fresh, new hospital gown. It's not a princess dress, but it's clean!"
The dress they gave me was too big and itchy.
"There," nurse Emma said, tying the back of the gown up. She tied my hair back with a rubber band. "Isn't that better?"
I told you she speaks in questions! Silly Emma!
They held my hand and walked with me down the hall. We walked into a big room that had lots of toys and colors. It looked fun! And maybe there were other kids that I could play with! I almost laughed.
But then I rememmbered that I was supposed to be angry so I didn't.
Nurse Carey brought me to a small red table in the middle of the room. 4 kids were sitting around it and coloring and playing games.
"Amber, this is George, Lilly, Bella...and Edgar."
Edgar?
"Everybody say, 'hi Amber!'" Nurse Emma said.
Nobody said 'hi Amber'.
She sat me down on a chair and placed a paper and a blue crayon in front of me.
"I'm going to bring you guys some breakfast... pancakes, yum yum! I'll be back honey! Make some friends, get to know each other, you'll be here for a while with them." and then she left, walking out of the big play-room and closing the door after her.
We were alone.
Lilly went back to coloring, she was drawing a house. She was good at drawing. Lilly, she was the smallest and she has green eyes and red hair in two pigtails.
There was George, but he was staring at the wall. He was older and had blue eyes and blond hair. I think Bella and Lilly are twins.
"Hi," Lilly said. "What's your name?"
I hugged my arms around my body. "Amber."
"Hey Amber," Bella said, waving happily. "I'm Bella, Lilly's my twinnie! You can tell it's me 'cause I have longer hair!"
"Not so," Lilly said as she colored.
"Yes, too!" Bella answered.
"Not!"
"Too!"
"NOT!"
"Okay." Bella said as she smiled. She seemed to have forgotten everything. Bella's weird.
"You can sleep in our room if you want too. I'm your new friend." she said, holding my hand.
Really?! I have a friend?!
"Okay," I said. I turned and pointed at George. "What's wrong with him?"
Lilly looked up from her house drawing and shrugged. "That's George, he's weird, don't talk to him or he'll yell at you."
"Is he sick?" I asked, picking up the blue crayon and drawing a flower on my paper.
Bella looked up. "Uh huh. Everyone who's here is sick. Even Lilly and George are sick. And me. You too. But it's okay."
I nodded and colored a sad face on my paper. I pointed at the boy sitting in front of us, his eyes closed and his face smiling.
"Who's he?"
Bella became all white like a ghost. "Oh, that's Edgar."
Edgar?
Edgar opened his red eyes. I know him! He was at my school! He knows the red people, he's scary! And teacher told me he didn't exist but he does, he's right here!
"Hi, Amber. Rememmber me?"