No one else can believe we're breaking,
We're breaking.
Lonely --
As ever before, I can shake it,
Shake it.
'Cause we've got too much to let go,
I said I want you to stay.
-"Stay" || Coasts
___
"So? How'd it go? How's Anais?"
Zayn doesn't answer that. Instead, he lifts his head, staring over the refrigerator door at Niall, who's also staring expectantly back at him.
"Like, how'd you think it went?" Zayn asks, a bit more harshly than intended. He's just gotten back from Astronomy, and he's kind of just not in the mood to talk about Anais, especially since he somehow feels worse than he had about her before he stepped into class.
Louis enters the kitchen, hopping onto the counter while also jumping into the conversation.
"She actually came to class, today?" He asks.
"Yeah," Zayn nods. "She was there."
Liam looks up, because Liam and Harry have come over today. "She's been skipping class? Didn't think she was one to skip class..."
Zayn can't seem to focus on food long enough to find anything he wants to eat.
"She's not," he says.
"Been avoiding that one," replies Louis, with a head nod towards Zayn. "So, Soo says she's been skipping, lately."
And now, Liam's forehead creases with his frown. He says nothing, but he's watching his friend rifle through the refrigerator wordlessly and thinks to himself that it's been three weeks since Zayn and Anais broke up and he definitely expected the two of them to be back together by now.
"Well, in other news," Harry begins, dimple popping as he fights a smile, "Magdalena and Jesse might be back together, eh?" He shrugs. "Eh?"
Zayn honestly does not understand sometimes how he's friends with his friends.
"Good for them," he states blankly, because while he's happy that Jesse and Magdalena are talking, all he can think is that the two of them are friends of his who he and Anais have set up, and here they are all finding lasting relationships while his own relationship with Ana was unable to do just that, last.
God, Zayn just wants to go to sleep.
This day needs to be over, already.
"Yeah," Liam nods, "I think I'm missing the point too, Haz."
"Come on," Harry scoffs, as if he can't imagine how and why his friends could be so daft, sometimes. "If they can get back together, then y'know there's hope for you and Anais," and as Niall nods with a, "True," and Liam pouts, "He's right" and Zayn's frown dissolves a bit, Harry sighs and shakes his head because, "Sheesh."
___
"Well, someone's home early!"
Anais sighs, shrugging out of her coats and falling upon the couch.
She scowls, staring at Magdalena and Cara and Jourdan all in her little apartment that she shares with only Soo. "What are you all doing here?"
"Wow."
"Hello to you too, Ana."
"Love you too, babe."
"Whatever," Cara waves her off. "She's just pissed 'cause she saw Zayn, today."
Now, all of her girls turn to face her as Anais stares incredulously at Cara.
"How did you...?" Anais shakes her head. "Fucking Niall..."
Cara walks over with her homework and plops beside her on the couch. "Nothing gets past me, Ana. I'm all-knowing, so before you deny anything happened, you might as well spill before I call Ni back and put him on speaker."
God, those two.
Anais sighs loudly, groaning as she shakes her head. All she wants now are her pajamas and ice cream and bed.
"Where's Chanel?" She asks, figuring that Daphne was somewhere working on her show and Joan was just always working.
"Study session for - "
"Spanish?" Anais finishes, cracking a smile.
"Where else could she be?" Magdalena exclaims. "Girl needs to drop that shit and take-"
"Anything else?" Cara finishes. "Exactly."
Soo laughs loudly from the kitchen.
Jourdan waves them off. "Don't let Anais change the subject," she says. "We were talking about Zayn," and she leans towards Ana, an eager smile on her face. "So?" She exclaims. "How is he, Ana? How's your man AKA my future brother-in-law?"
"Lies!" calls Soo. "I'm Anais' sister. Not you, Jourdan."
"Cook, Soo!"
And as Soo Joo's soft giggle filters from the kitchen, Anais shrugs, however, because she's not able to join in and find the humor in this whole situation.
"Well...He sat next to me in class, today," she states.
Jourdan cocks a brow. "Doesn't he always sit next to you?"
"Not lately," calls Soo, peeking her head around the door. "She's been skipping!"
"Anais, you?"
"Why?"
"'Cause she's been avoiding him," calls Soo. By the smell of things, Anais assumes she's making dinner. "And my anxiety has been high 'cause she knows she just wants to kiss and make-up!"
"Well..." Anais decides to spill the tea. Her friends'll find out, anyway, right?
Right.
Magdalena looks up from whatever she's typing on her laptop. "Well, what, Ana?"
And Anais attempts to downplay the magnitude of her next statement with a small shrug. "He asked me if I still loved him, today," she says.
Soo chokes, actually running from the kitchen to join everyone else in the living room.
There's a splattering of pesto across her white shirt. "And?"
"And she obviously fell into his arms and kissed him and said, 'Yes,'" Jourdan exclaims, clasping her hands. "She said, 'I still love you, too, Zayn, 'cause I've been bitchy and moody since you broke up with me and all I wanna do now is get back in your bed and be your baby, again.'" And Magdalena and Cara crack smiles and stifle laughter because, despite being overly dramatic, Jourdan isn't too far from off the truth.
That is how Anais feels.
"And," she groans, because her friends are extra and Anais is just not in the mood. "And, I kinda ran from him..."
Soo throws up her hands, walking back towards the kitchen. "Jesus, Anais..."
Cara snorts. "What'd I expect, really."
"You suck major balls at confrontation, girl," Magdalena sighs.
"Hey! I..." Anais' voice trails off.
"You, what?" Cara places a hand behind her ear. "What? Were you saying something, Anais? 'Cause in a moment I won't be able to hear you over your own lies."
Anais inhales sharply. "Never mind," she mutters, because she does. She does suck at confrontation.
That's why she ran.
Because this is Anais. Alright, sue her for still feeling bitter about Zayn breaking up with her. Yes, she misses him so much it hurts, but this is Anais. This is the girl who avoided Lucky for weeks after she thought he had a girlfriend. This is the girl who's still trying to hold onto the last inklings of pride she has left, and damn it, she let her head tell her to get the fuck away from Zayn as fast as possible when it was her heart that willed her to kiss him and take him up on that plea to tell him just how much she loved him, too.
But, this is Anais.
"Yeah, that's what I thought," Cara nods. "Hurry up and make-up already so we can reference this break-up in past tense."
"That," Magdalena says, pointing with her pen at Cara, "is some real shit."
"But, guys," Anais falters, because okay, say she gets back with Zayn. Then, what? This, this heartbreak, she's experiencing now, can't happen again, she decides. She's in too deep with the emotions and feelings she has for this boy, that she isn't too keen on opening up to let herself be heartbroken like this again. "What if we get back together, just to break up again? I'm not the girl to just do that."
"Anais," Cara laughs, "you wouldn't have broken up in the first place if Lucky Blue wasn't your friend," and she lifts a brow, "You know that, right?"
"And besides," Soo adds, peering around from the kitchen, "Lou says that Zayn's obviously missing you, and you obviously miss him, so who cares if you break up again, right?" She shrugs. "You two'll obviously get back together, again."
"Okay, so I love how you all are hopeless romantics," Anais snorts with an eye-roll, "but let's be real, okay?"
"This is real," Magdalena nods, eyes upon her homework, "It's actually science."
Jourdan nods. "It's actually scientifically proven."
"Right," Anais snorts."Okay."
Magdalena drums her fingers against the aluminum upon her lap. "Fine, how 'bout this 'for real,'" she shrugs, "I'm pret-ty sure that if you hadn't been ignoring Zayn these past few weeks you'd be happy and back together again by now, so..."
And at that, Cara nods. "That's also some real shit."
"And that says something," Magdalena nods, eyes on Anais, "coming from Cara."
Which was also true. Because of all people, Cara didn't exactly expect herself to be okay with Zayn at this point. She expected herself to be mad at him. She expected herself to take Anais' side, and honestly, she is on Anais' side. Cara was furious after Zayn left Anais at Soo's birthday, because the way Anais came back to the party, the way her best friend seemed so upset and so heartbroken, there was just no way to get over that. That was some fucked-up shit; it was inexcusable. She wanted to find him and fight him - at least, that's what she told Niall - because she told Zayn that if he ever broke Anais' heart, he'd pay for it.
God, he was gonna pay.
But, Cara's stance has kind of changed, lately. She's been over to the boys' place and she's seen how Zayn's been without Anais. She can tell he didn't really want to break up with her best friend.
What Cara has realized, is that this situation isn't exactly fair to him, either.
Because what Cara understands - what she understands wholly and completely - is that the one person she'd really like to fuck up is the one who hasn't been hurt at all by this break-up. What Cara is one hundred percent sure about, is that the only person who came out of this whole mess unscathed and probably pretty damn happy, is the little prick whose fault this really is.
"What?" Cara exclaims. "Ana," she says, "Zayn's in love with you still and you obviously still love him. Honestly, you just need to put your pride aside and make up already, because," she shakes her head, "I haven't told you this before, but honestly Ana, if you were Zayn right now, and if you were Zayn at Soo's party, you'd have probably done the same thing."
"Me?"
"Yes, you! Lucky is a bitch, Ana! We know this!"
Soo pops her head out of the kitchen. "True...!"
"You know what he said to me yesterday?" Cara continues, "I was out in the Bobst with Niall and Lucky asked me if I was hanging out with jocks now 'cause they're the only people on campus with lower IQ's than models."
Jourdan snorts. "I hate him, sometimes."
Cara makes a face. "Yeah. And yeah, while what he said was kinda funny, and only kinda, you just don't. Like, he said that in front of Niall and everything," she shakes her head, "No, he only said that 'cause I was with Niall. He's a bitch. Everything he does is for a reaction. We know this, Ana. Nothing's changed, and if you were Zayn and he had some crazy bitch friend that was pushing up on him everyday, you'd get tired, too. You'd feel unhappy, too. You'd get tired of the bullshit, too, 'cause yeah, Lucky's been pushing some major boundaries with you that are pretty unacceptable. You've got a boyfriend."
Anais frowns, her stomach turning. "I had a boyfriend," she clarifies.
Cara rolls her eyes. "Oh, please," she waves her off. "You two are still together, this is just your first real fight."
Soo giggles. "I love that. Yes. Yes, Cara, that makes me feel better."
Anais rolls her eyes. "Stop, guys."
"Stop, what? It's the truth, don't deny it."
Anais turns away. She's so confused. She's confused and upset because yeah, Zayn told her he missed her. Yeah, he said he still loved her, but Anais is not the kind of girl to want to break up just to make up. What this break has taught her is that she's not invested in anything short-term with the bad boy from her Astronomy class.
She like, actually really just wants him.
And if she wasn't in this situation, she'd call him up to talk to him about this because that's what he did for her. He was always so level headed about things and ready to help her feel better about all of the things that made her upset.
Jesus.
She's so fuckin' confused.
And it doesn't help that she's got other things to worry about, too...like Daphne's show, or her sister coming to visit.
God.
Cat's coming to visit and there's no way she's gonna leave without wanting to meet Zayn.
What the hell is she going to do?
"Ana?"
She looks up. It's Magdalena, and she's leaning from the sofa to rub circles on Anais' thigh.
"Yeah, Mags?"
"You know what you need?" She asks. "You know what'll definitely make you feel better?"
Anais snorts. "A drink. And maybe some music. And dancing."
Jourdan snaps in approval. "Yes, Anais. Yes to dancing."
Anais laughs because she does love her friends and she (kind of) appreciates them for (sort of) making her feel (a little) better.
"C'mon, Ana!" Mags claps her hands happily. "We can get dressed and go out. Jesse's performing at a nightclub tomorrow night for like, an actual gig and they've invited all of us. You know you can't not come to that. He'd cry."
"He wouldn't," Anais replies, "but that makes me smile," she deadpans, "kinda."
Magdalena pulls a Harry and pokes her in the cheek. "Knew it would," she sings. "And I owe you one, remember? You pulled me out of bed when I was fucked over Jesse, so the very least I can do for my best friend is help her not be sad about Zayn, right? C'mon, Anais. It's one night. One night of dancing and drinking is not going to kill you."
Anais sits up a little straighter.
"Yeah," she nods. "You're right."
___
Cara is over the bullshit lol.
I really like these next two chapters so that's exciting for me haha.
Y'all were so angry w. Anais last chapter hehe c'mon everybody you know who she is she can't just run back into his arms now let's goooo.
Might actually cry a little when this hits 50k reads.
COMMENT AND VOTE! xx
(If you're reading Polarize, updates are coming tomorrow.)