3
"Are you sure you'll be okay...?"
I glared at my mom.
She had asked me this same exact question the entire drive over.
"No. I'm not going to be okay. The moment you leave I'm going to dissolve into a puddle of my own tears and hang myself with the bed sheets."
My mom's eyes widened and my dad gave me a look through the rearview mirror.
I looked away and out the window.
"This place is in the middle of no where."
"I know it's far away from home, Ana, but we're all going to come visit. Me, your dad, Mel, some of your other friends."
"I don't have other friends."
My mom hesitated but my dad spoke for her instead.
"Sure you do. You know, Cara and Lida and Marco. They'll come visit."
I raised my eyebrows.
"I haven't spoken to any of them in over a year, dad."
"That doesn't make them any less of a friend, Ana."
"Whatever you say."
I put in my earbuds so I didn't have to deal with them anymore.
Finally we pulled into the drive of the group home.
Yes.
That's right.
They had sent me to some mental asylum that they called a group home.
But I knew the truth.
It was obviously some sort of psych ward.
I climbed out of the car only to be greeted by a cheery blonde.
I narrowed my eyes at her and crossed my arms over my chest.
I felt jumpy and on edge.
And drugged.
I had been forced to take my meds.
It was one of the "conditions" if I wanted to live in the group home.
Which, I did not.
"Hi! Welcome! You must be Ana!"
"You must be a runaway cheerleader."
She looked taken aback by my sarcasm but then regained her composure and smiled at me.
"Well, anyways, my name is Alison and I work here."
"That's nice to know that you work here. I thought you just hung out here for fun."
My mom gave me a scolding look and said: "Ana, be nice."
"I am being nice. This is my nice."
Alison laughed nervously.
"It's okay, ma'am. I'm used to this. A lot of the patients can a bit rude or abrasive when they first get here."
My eyebrows shot up.
"Did you just say abrasive?"
Before I could carry on with my mental abuse, a man joined us.
He looked to be in his late thirties and he also looked annoyed.
As soon as he saw my parents and I though, he smiled.
"Hello! It's nice to meet you, Ana."
"I wish I could say the same but then I'd be lying."
His smile didn't waver one bit.
I narrowed my eyes.
"Would you like to come inside?"
Before I could say no, my dad said: "That'd be great."
I trailed behind everyone, putting my earbuds back in.
I looked around as we were given a tour of the place.
I snorted.
They had tried to make it feel homey.
Fail.
I ran into someone.
My eyes widen and I looked up.
I opened my mouth to say sorry but they cut me off.
The girl glared at me and snapped: "Watch it!"
My guilt faded away.
It was quickly replaced by anger.
"You watch it!"
Someone pulled the girl away, trying to calm her down.
Our eyes never left each others.
"Ana."
Someone was tugging on my arm.
I looked up.
My mom was frowning, looking at me concerned.
"Come on. Your room is right here, sweetie."
I sighed.
I walked into the room with my parents and the man.
White.
The room was white.
That was all I saw.
The walls were white.
The blinds were white.
The sheets and blankets were white.
Everything was white.
"I'm blinded."
The man laughed.
I stared at him blankly.
He stopped laughing.
"You weren't joking were you?"
"Does it look like I was joking?"
He cleared his throat and smiled.
"Well, Ana, this is your room. And I'm Andrew by the way. I'm a doctor here. You'll meet your therapist later."
"Okay."
I didn't understand why he was still talking.
Did he not notice that I really didn't care?
"Somebody will stop by later with some rules but I'll just tell you some basic things right now."
"Okay."
I half listened as he talked and picked up this much out of his long speech:
Breakfast was at 8.
At 10, I had therapy.
Noon was lunch.
From 1 to 2 we had outside time.
2 to 3 was chores.
Then on was freetime unless told otherwise.
Dinner was at 6.
Anytime after 4 we could hang out in our rooms.
After his little speech or whatever, he left me with my parents so we could say goodbye.
My mom hugged me tightly, crying.
I hugged her back loosely.
"I love you, okay?"
"Okay."
She kissed my head then pulled away.
My dad hugged me quickly then kissed my forehead.
"This is going to help, I promise."
"Whatever you say."
After that they left.
I sat on my bed and looked around.
There was literally nothing to do.
I sighed loudly.
I could go out and talk to the other teenagers.
Then again I didn't like social situations.
Everyone stared.
It was probably because of how skinny and pale I was.
Apparently the doctors say I had some form of anorexia.
Or whatever.
I don't remember.
It had something to do with eating.
There was a knock on my door.
I looked up.
It was Alison.
"Hi, Ana!"
"Bye, Alison."
She didn't seem phased at all by my rudeness this time around.
"Andrew wanted me to come and bring you to the living room. All the other teens your age are hanging out in there."
"I don't like people."
"Neither do those teens."
"Good for them, they're not me."
"No they are not."
"I'm not going out there."
She stared at me.
I stared back.
She smiled at me.
I narrowed my eyes at her.
Another minute passed.
"Fine! I'll go out there!"
She grinned, smugly.
We walked out together.
I scanned the room.
There were about 5 or so teenagers lounging around, watching TV, playing video games, talking.
I immediately felt uncomfortable and awkward.
I had never been good with social situations.
"Hey, guys. This is Ana. She's new here. Try and welcome her, yeah?"
A girl with curly red hair smiled and walked over.
"Hey, Ana. I'm Rose."
"Hi."
She leaned in close and whispered: "I know it sucks here, but trust me. Some of the people here are pretty cool."
A small smile formed on my face.
So Rose seemed okay.
"Hey, Rose, where's Gordon?"
Rose frowned and looked around.
She shrugged and looked at Alison.
"Probably his room. I think his anxiety was bothering him again."
"I should probably go check on him but can you watch out for Ana for me?"
"Of course. Tell Gordon to come find me later."
Alison nodded then left Rose and I alone.
I looked at Rose.
She looked at me.
"Want to meet some of the others?"
"No."
"Want to talk about why we're here?"
I snorted.
"Um no."
Rose raised her eyebrows.
"Want to braid each other's hair and gossip about the cute boys here?"
"What cute boys?"
Rose and I both laughed.
"Come on. Let's just watch TV with Laurie and Sam."
I looked over at the couch where Laurie and Sam were sitting.
Rose and I sat down on the floor in front of the couch.
"So why are you in here?"
I shrugged.
"I'm a schizo. You?"
"I'm bipolar."
"Fun."
"I know right?"
"I bet your meds are fun."
"Very fun. Usually I'm so hopped up on drugs I can't even get out a full sentence."
"I'll be stopping by room after you get your meds tonight."
She rolled her eyes.
"Ha ha. I bet you're no better."
"I fall asleep right away, actually."
"Well that's boring."
"Life is boring."
"That's where you're wrong."
"I'm always wrong."
"Hmmm interesting."
After that we were shushed by Laura or whatever her name was.
We ended up sitting in silence, watching the boring movie Laura and Sammy had on.
The movie was almost over when Rose and I heard someone shout "Boo!" in our ears.
We both screamed and jumped to our feet.
Actually, in my case, I jumped to my feet then tripped over a blanket and fell.
"Ugh! Screw you, Shane! I hate it when you scare me like that!"
Rose shoved the boy who had scared us.
He only laughed.
"Sorry, Rosie. When you're depressed you do whatever you've got to do to get a good laugh."
"Depression is not a good reason to be a jerk though!"
She huffed in annoyance.
The boy, Shane as Rose had called him, looked at me.
"Who are you?"
I glared at him.
"A girl you just ticked off majorly."
Rose got in between us, realizing I was three seconds away from throat punching him.
"Shane, this is Ana. Ana, this is Shane. Shane is my best friend here, Ana. Shane, Ana is my new best friend here because I'm sick of you scaring me."
He pouted.
"Aw! Don't be that way, Rosie!"
Rose smacked the side of his head.
"Don't call me that!"
I stood up.
"Can you two stop bickering? It's giving me a headache. Just make out and get it over with."
Rose blushed.
Shane's eyes widened.
"Oh sorry. Were you not aware of the chemistry there? Glad I could help."
Rose cleared her throat.
"Um anyways. Ana is a schizo."
Shane looked at me, as if waiting for confirmation from me that I indeed was crazy.
I nodded.
"Yep. I hear voices and am mentally unstable. You should try it sometime. It's sort of like getting high. But you know when you get high you can actually come down at some point."
Shane nodded slowly, not quite sure how to react to my jokes.
I rolled my eyes.
These people.
What a tough crowd.
Rose frowned.
"There's only 10 minutes until dinner and there's still no sign of Gordon..."
I sighed.
"He's probably fine, Rose. Some people just like to be alone sometimes."
She bit her lip.
"Yeah. You're probably right..."
I know I'm right.
I know I'm right because I'm one of those people.
Yet there I was.
Putting up with other unstable people.
I sighed loudly and looked up, closing my eyes.
"What're you doing?"
"I'm praying."
"Um why.,.?"
"I'm asking for patience."
"Why are you asking for patience?"
"Because I really don't want to go to jail."
"Why would you go to jail?"
I raised my eyebrows at her.
I waited.
It dawned upon her.
"Oh..."