Chapter Thirty
Have you ever had one of those moments where everything stopped. Time seemed to stand still like everything was frozen. That's what this felt like to me, as soon as I made the choice to live everything stopped. It was like I could see everything around me including Shaun and myself.
For just that one second I felt at peace like never before. No pain, no worries over what my future held, and lastly I didn't have to worry about my mates. It was selfish of me to feel this way, I knew that but for once I was truly free.
But that moment disappeared, it was like when time stopped and then restarted everything came rushing back. All the pain I had felt over the years came back ten fold, but it wasn't just my pain I felt. I felt it all, Damien's and Luna's pain. For them it was the loss of their one perfect person. Damien's mate and Luna's mother.
I felt Clara and Tony's pain, Clar's pain was the rejection and jealousy of me and Tony's because even though I wasn't his mate he felt he was losing me, and his pain for what he had done to Clara. I felt Terri's pain over what had been dealt to her by her mate Ryan. It was interesting to me that I felt hers and not Ryan's but I could question that later.
I felt Dillion's pain knowing he would never find his mate and wanted to laugh because he had no clue what was in store for him. I felt Shaun's pain and it made me want to cry. His pain all of it centered around me some bad and some good. But I think what nearly killed me was the pain I was feeling from my mates.
I knew in my head and my heart that both Ethan and Alaric had suffered so much pain but I never realized how bad it truly was till now. It felt like my eyes were being opened for the first time and I was terrified. It meant that all the walls I had built around my heart were ready to crumble and I knew all it took was them hurting me once for me to never recover again.
For what seemed like hours and days were probably just minutes but the pain I felt would be seared into my soul forever and it was something I would never be able to forget. I had no idea why I had to feel this pain but I did, and it taught me courage. Weird as it sounded but it was true.
"You needed to feel this so you could understand your people." That voice once again spoke.
"Why are you talking to me what happened to Sarah?" I asked
I had to ask even if I already knew the answer, she had been my friend, my companion, and my voice of reason for so long it would feel weird to not have her with me. As I waited for the pain to slowly dissipate I waited for the one voice I knew would b with me for life. The one voice who knew all the answers and hopefully would share them with me.
"You know sweet child of mine but I will answer it out loud if I must." She spoke softly to me
"Now that you found all four of your protectors Sarah and you are now one." She spoke again in that tone that sent shivers down my spine, the good ones.
"I know you feel hate towards your birth parents but don't, this destiny of yours was a fixed point in time and there was nothing you or your birth parents could have done to stop it." She spoke sadly
"I will miss her." Was all I could say without tears
The thing was is I would truly miss her and I wanted to howl for even though I knew it wasn't true, I felt like someone had died. I needed to grieve and I think my demon knew that to. Otherwise she would have been her normal rude and mean self, which made me want to laugh out loud because I could hear her growling inside my head.
"I am not rude or mean." She spoke in a snobby voice which just made me want to chuckle.
"Yes you are but I'm ok with it. I get how I am a wolf and even the vampire but you, I don't get you at all." I spoke honestly
"I was a mistake that Heyel will regret making. When he pulled your soul out of your body as a baby still in the womb he tried to attach part of his soul to yours, forever marking you as his." She spoke this time though you could hear the anger in her voice.
"So how did I end up with you if Heyel is male. I'm so confused." I spoke and I knew if I could I would be shaking my head.
"Its simple instead of attaching himself to you, I basically rode shot gun and entered into your body and attached myself instead." She spoke harshly not at me but at the memory.
"Why would you do something like that?" I asked her not angry but curious.
"Before you I was once in another body but this one body was mine. I wasn't your average demon making pain and suffering to the humans and supernatural a like. Which pissed of Heyel to no end." She spoke as if she was reliving the memory out in her own mind.
"I fell in love with another but our love was forbidden. I fell in love with an angel and for a very short period of time he was mine and I was his. But then Heyel found out and told my lovers kind as well about us and for our love we were sentenced to death." By this time you could hear the tears in her tone.
"I had to watch my lover die over and over as a form of punishment by Heyel himself and I swore I would have my revenge. When I found out about you and what Heyel wanted you for I knew it was my chance at not only revenge, but also in some small way to protect you from him as well." She spoke this time her anger was back.
"I get it, but what about your angel lover?" I asked
"Oh don't worry your little head over that one. I'm damn sure I will get him back." She said quickly and I knew she meant it.
"Does that mean your leaving me like Sarah?" I asked
"Nope I can't leave you even if I tried little one. But don't worry you will know soon." She chuckled
I felt her leave my mind and hide away in a small part of my brain that was hers for she had marked it. I felt the pain leaving my body ad heard whispers of people in the back ground telling me I would be ok and I needed to calm down. I wanted to scream out "yeah right" but couldn't.
For what seemed like forever but really wasn't I could feel the life coming back and I was able to move my fingers and my toes. I tired opening my eyes but it felt like they were sealed shut even though I knew it wasn't the case. After awhile I could feel my eyes opening up and all I saw was blinding bright white light.
"Shaun." Was all i could choke out but I needed to know that he was ok.
"Don't worry about him Dillion's got him." Ethan spoke softly
"I am so sorry we didn't get there in time and I'm sorry I caused this." Whispered Alaric.
Once my eyes had gotten used to the light I realized I was right back in one of the many places that made my skin crawl, the hospital. I looked around and saw all the people I had come to love during my life. I saw Ethan and Alaric standing next to my bed side. Each was holding my hand and I felt it was sweet of them to do it even if I didn't need it.
I saw Tony and Clara standing next to one another but both of them were tense and it made me sad to see them acting like me. Or I should say the old me. Damien and Luna had huge smiles on their faces probably because I wasn't screaming my bloody head off at my mates.
Ryan was no where in sight but I did see Terri looking at me with a small smile and even though you could see the pain in her eyes she was happy for me as well. But I guess the big shocker for me was how Shaun and Dillion were sneaking lust full glances at one another and Shaun's face had a pink tinge to it which made me start laughing because no one else noticed but me.
"Why are you laughing?" Asked Ethan
I shook my head at him and just kept the smile on my face. I wouldn't out Shaun or Dillion because it was private and I felt it was their own business and I wouldn't interfere unless needed. But I looked around the room and even though we were all happy because Shaun and I were ok I knew they were waiting for me to say something.
"So umm Alaric how are you and Ethan doing?" I asked trying not to stutter.
"We are doing ok why?" Asked Ethan
I quickly looked down and tried to figure out all the questions I had in my mind. Then I went on to list the questions from least important to important to know. Then I had to figure out what I was going to ask because all the questions seemed to fly out the window when I looked at both of them.
"So Alaric um I know you and your wolf marked me ok your wolf but um does that mean you are ok with being my mate or are you still going to reject me." I asked cautiously almost afraid of his answer.
Alaric looked at me wide eyed and I knew I had shocked him but lets be honest he was the one to reject me and his wolf was the one to mark me. See how a girl could get confused. I felt Ethan grip my hand tightly because I wasn't looking at him yet because I already knew what he would say.
"As long as our junk doesn't touch I'm good." Was all Alaric said
To say everyone in the room was shocked would have been an understatement and the cutes thing ever happened when we all laughed at what he said. His face and ears turned bright red. It made me want to kiss him all that much more. I nodded at him to let him understand I got it and turned my head to where Ethan was standing on the other side of the bed. Alaric was on my left while Ethan was on my right.
"So Ethan your ok too?" I asked just to make sure
"I don't care who is in our bed as long as you are there with me. Well as long as he is your only other mate I mean." Ethan spoke
That's when I felt all eyes turn on me. I knew what everyone was waiting on. I had asked those questions and I knew everyone including my mates wanted to know if I could or would accept them. I could honestly say thanks to Michael there wasn't an inch of my body I could call virginal but I was nervous.
I had only ever been with one man and I knew Ethan had many, many years of experience on me and had more girls than I did fingers and toes, while Alaric was mine to well to corrupt any damn way I please and I couldn't wait. I took a deep breath and spoke my words.
"I accept you both as my mates."