Songs for the chapter: Only Exception by Paramore
My Heart is Open by Adam Levine featuring Gwen Stefanie
Brie's POV
I hear the doorbell ring and I get up from the couch to answer it. As soon as I spot Harry outside I make an attempt to close the door in his face but he pushes it open and walks in. I wasn't meaning to be rude but I know every time he comes over here it's because he wants to fuck me and I always give in to him.
He walks inside and doesn't say anything. He takes a seat on the couch and I stand in front of him with my arms folded on my chest, waiting for him to explain to me why he's here. His eyes look a bit red and I don't know if he was crying or if he's high; it's hard to tell. He looks up at me and bites his bottom lip in a nervous manner.
"Hey before you jump to any conclusions and say shit listen to what I have to say first." He motions for me to sit next to him.
"Okay fine, I'm listening." I sit and focus my attention on him.
"Brie I think I love you." He replies and I almost choke on my own saliva.
"What?!?" I shout in disbelief.
"Stop shouting." He calms me down.
"Okay but I cannot believe what you just said. You love me? That's crazy, you said love doesn't exist and you don't believe in it." I look at him with disbelief.
I don't believe this. Harry loves me? That's just insane. He can't love me because he doesn't believe in love. I mean he's the bad boy of our school so how can he love me? Is he just messing with me, or could it be a prank he's trying to pull, no maybe he's just acting? I don't know.
"I know you must be wondering what's wrong with me because I don't believe in love but I do now. I believe in love and it's all thanks to you." He smiles at me, like a genuine smile not a smirk.
"I-I don't get it." I shake my head.
"Look, when we first had sex and I took your virginity, remember the day after you wanted to talk to me cos you thought I loved you that's why I slept with you?" He asks and I nod because I remember that day like it was yesterday.
"Right and when you found me at the back of the school you asked if I felt anything when we made love and I said no but I did, Brie. I felt something and I don't know how to describe it. I was trying to ignore the feelings and what I felt that night for you but I couldn't." He raises his voice a little and he sounds helpless.
"But why didn't you tell me?" I place my hand on his and it relaxes him a bit.
"I didn't want you to know. But after we did it the first time I just couldn't stop thinking about you; it's like you were taking over my mind and eventually you did." He stares into my eyes and we lock stare for a few minutes before I look away.
"The night before prom I slept with about five girls just to see if I would feel the same way with them and maybe, just maybe I would stop thinking about you but that didn't fucking work! I still kept thinking about you, Brie you were the only thing on my mind that's why at prom when we both won Prom King and Queen and we danced I gave you a tight hug. I wished it could last forever and we could have stayed in each other arms for the rest of the night." He says and looks down at the floor sadly.
"And do you remember the day after graduation I came over and we were having a great time until I called you a nerd? I didn't really mean to hurt your feelings Brie and I'm still sorry about that." He takes my hands that's on his and holds it.
"It's okay Harry I forgave you for that a long time." I chuckle slightly.
"I'm still sorry about it though. And remember the same day we had sex a second time and I was acting all nice and sweet with you?" He lifts up my chin with his index finger and I nod.
"It was like I was someone else because I have never acted that nice with a girl before. I was actually getting the feelings for you and I even felt those butterflies or whatever in my stomach whenever we kissed. But after we fucked I left early in the morning because I knew I couldn't do anything about us. I have never been in a relationship before and I wasn't going to be in one soon. I was starting to fall in love with you, like actually fall for you but I stopped myself." He looks at me with guiltiness in his eyes.
"So I decided to stay away from you and since its Summer Vacation we wouldn't be seeing each other in school, or anywhere else which would have made it easier for me to forget about you, or so I thought. You came to my place after a few weeks and pretended to be pregnant. I still don't understand why you did that." He says hurt.
"Harry, I'm sorry but when you love someone you can do anything for that person. I did that because I thought you would actually soften up and start caring about me because I was carrying your baby but that didn't work. I felt so guilty for lying to you but I couldn't make it up to you although I wanted to." I reply, my eyes full of water which are threatening to spill any moment now.
"It's okay because after that at that party I saw you and you looked so beautiful. I'm sorry you had to see me kissing that other girl but I don't know what got into me." He shakes his head.
"Probably the alcohol." I suggest and he chuckles.
"But after that I admitted that I love you. Ed made me realize it and I couldn't believe it but he was right; I love you and I didn't know. Yesterday I came to the beach to clear my head and think about what Ed said but when I saw you with Adam or whatever his name is, you wouldn't believe me but I got jealous. I felt extremely jealous towards that Angus guy that I wanted to punch him in the stomach and take you away with me." He gives my hand a slight squeeze.
"Aw you're so sweet." I gush and his cheeks heat up a bit. "And I didn't know you felt that way; it's all a relief for me that you feel this way towards me. After all of that I have to say I still forgive you. By the way, his name is Austin."
"Thanks I know I put you through a lot. Oh well it's similar to Adam and Angus." He says and I hint a bit of jealousy like he just said.
"But one thing I don't understand, Harry, why didn't you believe in love?" I ask and watch as his jaw tenses up.
"It's a long story." He says through gritted teeth.
"I have all day." I take both his big hands and hold them in my small ones.
"Okay, when I was younger my parents used to always fight. Almost every day they would fight with each other and although I was in my room upstairs I could still hear them from downstairs. It used to hurt me to hear them fighting and arguing all the time, even though most of the time it was about the most ridiculous things. I couldn't bear it so I would go out and come back home late, late at night. I went to parties often, clubs and other places with Ed and other friends just to keep me away from home. But things changed when one night my father came home drunk and he slapped my mother." Harry explains.
"He slapped her?" I gasp.
"Yes he slapped her. After that night he would always abuse her; hit her, slap her, beat her up with anything he could get his hands on and I still don't know why. He became very, very abusive. But the only good thing about it was he would only abuse her when he was drunk. After a few years of all this, my mother got fed up with it. I mean, who wouldn't get fed up with something like that? I couldn't help her though because every time I tried to he would beat me up and kick me in the balls and leave me to wail in pain on the floor. He really didn't care and although I always tried to help I always ended up on the floor so I guess I gave up.
Well, like I said my mom got fed up and she filed for a divorce. My father, on the other hand never liked anything to go against his will. And when he heard of the divorce he got angry and went out to...God knows where. Well I went out with a couple of friends that night and we hung out a bit and then I left for home. When I got home I heard screaming but I didn't know where it was coming from. I was already up in my room but then I fled downstairs and started to follow the screams.
I ended up in front of the bathroom door. I couldn't get in because the door was locked. I tried to break it down but that didn't work; the door was fucking locked. There was a little window to the top of the door and I put a chair and climbed up only to see my father slap my mother and she fell to the ground. She started to cry when he pulled out a knife. I was so shock I couldn't move. I stood there in shock as my father took the knife and slit my mother's throat and there was nothing, absolutely nothing I could have done to save her. I failed as her son." He cries.
"It's okay, everything is going to be okay." I rub his back.
"No Brie nothing is going to be okay! Do you have any idea how it hurts to see your own father kill your mother right in front your eyes and there's nothing you could have done about it?!?" He shouts.
"I used to have nightmares almost every night seeing the same image of her lying in a pool of her own blood on the floor." He whispers and I continue to rub his back and try to comfort him.
"Why can't you just tell the cops about your dad?" I suggest.
"The cops? I can't tell anyone or else he'll kill me. He threatened me the same day he killed mom. I can't tell anyone anything or else he'll kill me or someone dear to me. Brie, I'm in a trap; I've always been. He abuses me whenever he drinks and there's nothing I can do about it or else he'll kill me. I hate him so fucking much. I wish I can just smash his head into a wall right now!"
"So that's why you never believed in love?" I ask surprised.
"Yes, because I saw it with my own eyes how much pain my mother endured because of him. She took it all because she loved him but he didn't care about her." He whispers.
"But Harry that sounds similar to what happened with us because I love you and I took all the pain you gave me because of love. I endured it and I never stopped trying because I love you." I cry.
"Oh God, I have turned into my father without even knowing it myself." He says in a tone of realization.
What do you all think??? I would like a give shoutouts to the following people and their books:
Olympic National Park by summernyctophile
Revenge by crazy_for_1d_2002
Rags and Riches by xxhey-princessxx
Kill and Run by macklemcvey
Somewhere, Someday by gbhope
Abducted Styles by erratic_styles
Magisterial by styles_sugar
I love all of these books above and there're the ones I have been reading for a while now. And I'm so sorry if I didn't get to read everyone's books I was quite busy with a lot of things. I'll try my best to read everyone's book and I'll get to that ASAP before school opens back for me.