"Where are you going?" Brayden asks when I move to leave the house.
"Preston's," I say tugging my shoes on.
He raises an eyebrow at this and narrows his eyes at me. "You have been spending a lot of time over there."
I raise my own eyebrows at my brother. "Cut the act, I know you gave him the green light to ask me out." I tease making him scowl.
"I just wanted to play the overprotective brother." He grumbles making me laugh.
"You are the overprotective brother, but I also know that you like Preston, so the act doesn't really work." I point out making him grin.
"I'm happy for you, you know that right?" He asks leaning against the wall. "I never thought you were going to be like the old you again, the happy carefree girl. Even though I helped you change I do miss the old Dee, not so much the attitude though." I grin.
"Oh please, the attitude was the best part." I pout.
He smiles before coming up to me and hugging me. "I'm just glad you're allowing another guy into your life. I see the way he looks at you and respects you. I like that and I respect him for that. He knows your boundaries and is willingly giving you time to make the decisions. I really am proud of you."
I smile up at him and give him one last hug before pulling back, hearing a car out in the driveway.
"Don't stay out too late, it is a school night." He says.
It is Wednesday and I'm finally getting to use the weapons. Not only the cool looking guns that fire pure silver darts and bullets but I also get to know the basics of the dust wolfs bane and the dagger that is not only made out of pure silver but also has a gold tip that is made out of wolfs bane. Earlier this week I had to defend myself without the weapons against a werewolf. It was hard at first but I was finally getting stronger with the time that I spent in the gym also. Preston finally told me that I was ready to work with the weapons. Now my lessons are gym training for an hour then weapon training for the rest of the time. But since it's a school night we opted to leave gym out since I couldn't come over straight out of school.
"I won't, I'll see you later tonight." I say before slipping out of the door and running to Sasha's car.
"Ready for target practice?" She asks making me huff.
"If this is anything like archer last year in gym then it's pointless." I say deadpan.
Last year in gym we did archery for a full month. I couldn't even get one arrow into the target, they always were either too short or I would miss the target by several feet higher. It was a nightmare and completely embarrassing but no amount of practice would help.
She chuckles. "Well..." She trails off making me groan. This isn't going to be good.
True to her unspoken words there were targets several feet away. Preston took me out back with a huge bag slung over his shoulder when I arrived. He told me we would work with wolfs bane dust first since it's the easiest. I didn't understand why I needed practice with this one since all I had to do was throw it in the air by the werewolf and hope he sniffs it in.
But I didn't want to complain too much so I just listened to his instruction and let them clear a few feet away as I threw the dust around me.
"Now, if you had a weapon that will give you enough time to set it up, wither it be a dagger or an arrow-"
"Whoa, wait I have to shoot like a bow and arrow? Since when was that a weapon you use?" I protest.
"Since Dr. Manor sent it last night." Preston grins at me. Sasha already must have told him my failed attempt at archery.
"Great." I grumble under my breath.
"Don't worry; I'm thinking you will use the dagger and guns. The bow and arrow will be the last resort for you." He promises making me breathing a sigh of relief.
"Ok, carry on then. Sorry for interrupting." I say.
"Right, the dust could just be used as a distraction. If they don't breathe it in but get out of range for it then you can grab one of your weapons and use it." Preston says. After a few minutes I guess they got the green light to come closer to me.
"So what weapon will I be learning first?" I ask looking at the table that held different sized guns and daggers, some even big enough to be called a sword.
"I was thinking the daggers first, then work your way up to the sword. Dagger and sword training is a little harder to learn. With a gun all you have to do is point and shoot." He says grabbing one of the little daggers. "These little guys are made to throw at your target; help slow him down before he can reach you."
I grab the small knife he gives me. It feels light in my hands. "Right, show me what I have to do." I say.
Preston lines me up a few feet form on of the targets. He told me we will move back a few more feet until I get the hang of throwing it. Preston shows me how to hold it and throws the first knife; it sails through the air, flipping end over end until sticking to the middle of the target.
He steps aside for me to try. Gripping the knife like he did I pull back and let it fly. I watch with anticipation as it sticks to the target, a few inches from Preston's knife. It wasn't the middle but at least it still hit close to it. We spend an hour on the small daggers, moving back five more feet every time I hit the middle of the target. It was easy to get the swing of things and realizing how much strength I needed to use in order to make it to the target.
"Great job," He says jogging back to me. "Now let's see how well you will do with a moving target."
And with that said a werewolf made out of wood swung by. "What the hell?" I say jumping back.
"Sorry, we made it earlier this week. It took a while but we finally finished it." Preston says.
"What is it?" I ask looking at the ropes in the trees.
"It's a werewolf, the exact height and width of us. The wood will make it harder for the blade to stick, so just remember that. It will be a little easier for the blade to tear through our skin so don't be discouraged if the blade rebounds or doesn't stick. The wolf is tied up to some strings, Sasha and Scott will move it around." Preston says handing me ten knifes.
I huff and grab one in my hands as I nod for Sasha and Scott to start swinging them. They get to work at swinging and moving the wolf. I concentrate and try aiming but it seems no use. Every knife I throw it either misses completely or it bounces off the wood. I only stuck the last one.
"That was pretty good. Those last three would have stuck to the wolf; the wood just wouldn't allow it. So you got four out of ten, a lot better than I thought you would do." Preston says encouragingly.
"That was hard, and are we sure this will work? I mean you guess are fast, I won't be able to hit a rogue to save my life." I huff drawing closer to see what Preston's looking at.
"That's true, but we are also big, you get a big wide target. Even if it's not where your aiming you will still hit us." He assures me then points to some markings on the wood. They were deep and looked just like a knife cut.
"These are from the other three knifes. They were deep enough to cut into us if it were a real wolf and would have stuck. But the wood is a lot tougher than our skin and wouldn't allow the blade to stick. Don't worry though, once the wood withers down and work with it more it will be easier to stick a blade in it. Now, again," He says grabbing the blades and handing them to me.
This time we move me a little closer and I hit and stick the wood six times out of ten. When they deem me worthy enough to stop for the day they allow it, saying that tomorrow we will work on making all ten daggers on the wood and then work out in the gym.
"You did really well tonight." Preston says when I get into his car. Sasha and Scott had left thirty minutes ago to make it for dinner.
"Thanks." I say moving over to the middle seat and resting my head on his shoulder. "My birthday is coming up soon, the 23rd of February." I whisper closing my eyes as his free hand rests lightly on my thigh.
He's quiet for a moment "That's nineteen days from now." He whispers his voice laced with tension.
I peek over at him and see his face hard as stone, his eyes never leaving the road. Pulling back I peck his cheek and lace our fingers together on my thigh.
"Hey, relax. It's going to be fine, I'm learning all I can on these defense moves and I'm finally working with the weapons. I'm going to be fine." I tell him fiercely.
He slows down and turns into the long driveway of my house then stops, just out of view of my house. I don't question him as he stops the car and puts it in park, or when he moves to me and kisses me hard on the lips.
I allow him to control the kiss, to move my hands up in his hair and let him pull my close. My eyes close and I kiss him back with everything that I have in me. When we pull back he leaves his forehead on mine, our breathing mingling in the small space between us.
"I'm scared Dee. If Jared is right about them coming for you on your birthday..." He pulls away looking at me as if in pain.
I'm quiet now, looking at him softly. He's so worried about me and it breaks my heart. I didn't know how I could make it up to him. I'm the only thing that he cares about and he wants me safe. All he wants to do is protect me. He wants to be close with me, always by his side. It was then that I realize how I can help calm him, help relax him.
"I want you to mark me, the night before my birthday." I whisper, the words rushing out of my mouth as soon as I figured out what I was going to do.
He freezes and looks at me with wide eyes, so confused and a little frightened. This wasn't what he was thinking I would say. I bite my lip as I wait for him to say something, anything, but he just sits there frozen looking at me.
"What?" He whispers making me bite my lip. I sigh and move closer to him, my hands firmly on his face.
"I want you to mark me the night before my birthday. I want you to be one with your wolf, at your full strength and I know that my mark will make you fully become Alpha. I want you to mark me, that is all nothing more." I say fiercely.
"But, I- no." He pulls back shaking his head. I pull back feeling my cheeks flame at his rejection, I never thought it would hurt this bad. When he sees my closed off dejected look he pulls me to him in a panic. "No- I just- let me explain." He pleads with me when I go to pull away once more.
I sigh and stop resisting him. "No, forget about it, it was stupid to even-"
"You just surprised me Dee." He interrupts me, grabbing my chin and forcing me to look up at him. I see him struggle with words for a few minutes before he finally speaks again. "I just want you to be sure, that you are the one who wants this. Don't let me mark you just so it could help me fully become Alpha, just because we might go into battle and I don't have my full strength. I want you to make sure that you're ready, on your time, not mine. I want you to do this for you." He pleads with me to understand.
I take in his words, he does make sense. But I do want this, I know that it will help him but it will also help me. I don't know what's going to happen after my birthday, if I will be taken or not. If I am then the bond can help him find me, the bond will be there between us. I trust him so much and I know that I'm ready for this. I can feel it every time I kiss him or every time we touch, I'm ready to be his, to be marked and bonded. I know I'm ready for this.
"I'm ready Preston. I really am I can feel it whenever I'm with you. I have been taking this at my pace and I respect your patience."
"And you're ready to make this forever?" He questions me making me heart pick up pace. "You're ready to be stuck with me forever, as long as we both live, to have my children, to be married to me?" I can tell he's trying to scare me out of this decision by saying all this stuff to me right now. "I mean we haven't exactly made it to the next step in our relationship to be girlfriend boyfriend."
"Then ask." I simply say not letting him change my mind. I'm ready for this, I know in my heart I am.
He's surprised by words yet again and looks at me, studying me to make sure that I know what I'm doing. "And you're not just saying this all for me? So I can benefit from the mark?" He questions.
"No. I'm saying all these things because I am ready. I trust you." I whisper. "And care for you so much. I never thought I would again but I do. Every time we kiss, or touch, I feel it right here." I point to my chest. "I'm ready Preston."
He looks at me with his head cocked to the side before he lets out a low chuckle. "I never thought I would ask this way, but since you are ready..." He trails off making my heart pound in my chest.
"Will you be-" He starts but I cut him off.
"Yes." I say chuckling when he looks surprised yet again.
He laughs with me and shakes his head. "Your something else you know that right?" He asks and I nod. He calms down and looks at me seriously. "And you are sure about me marking you?"
I swallow and nod. "Yes, it was going to happen sooner or later. I know it's a shock that I said all these things tonight, but I just feel it is right. Now is the time. I trust you so much Preston and you have been so kind and so understanding with what I have told you. I know this is right."
He nods. "If you're sure," He whispers. "Then I will do it."
"I'm sure." I promise. "Now, you better pull in before my brother gets worried."
He nods and pulls the rest of the way into the driveway. When he's parked again he turns to me and kisses me lightly.
"I'll see you tomorrow ok? Stay safe." He whispers.
I nod. "I will. I'll see you later." I kiss him one last time before slipping from the car and running to the house.
I felt on top of the world with my new found revelation over what happened. I knew what I said was the right thing. I was ready for this commitment.
.......................................................................................................................................................................................
Dear Journal,
My head pounds, my stomach twists, I'm feverish and can't stand right. I have missed the last few days of school. Something isn't right and I'm tempted to go to the doctor's but I can't. I'm too afraid of what they will say is wrong with me. It could be just a simple common flu. But I have a feeling it's something more. Something life changing, I can feel it within my bones. But I'm too scared to find out if I'm right. What if I am? What will I do then? I just want to give up.
I'm almost finished with the journal. All of her entries before this one have been all about how her and her parents have been fighting the past few days and how sick she is feeling. Something was going on with her, especially since I've noticed she's starting to record her weight on the bottom of the pages. I've noted that it seems to be going up every time.
Tonight's Friday and I finally got a break from everything. Brayden had to go to dinner with Kelly's family, even though things are still tense with them and seem to be getting worse. My mom is passed out in her room I think and I finally get a rest from my training. I told the group that I need a break tonight from hanging out. Preston and my classes have worked me so hard. I've lifted weights until my arms couldn't hold anything for a few hours, I've done squats until my legs couldn't hold me up anymore. And I've thrown, dodged and learned sword fighting. I needed a break, just one night of being lazy.
So we weren't doing our Friday tradition. Even though Preston, Scott and Sasha all begged to come over and just watch a movie tonight I rejected them and told them to just have fun without me. I need to sleep and let my aching body relax.
Once my homework was finished I got into bed and took out my mother journal. And like I said they haven't really been all that great. She was spiraling down in depression. She talked about her fights with her parents, her sadness and depression over Tyler and her anger at the guy from the mall all the way up to being annoyed with Freddie who has been following her around like a lost puppy ever since their night together.
Drama. So much drama it can last me a life time. I swear once all this is over with the rogues I'm done with drama; I want a quiet life for a little bit.
Putting the journal down I decide to finally get something for my aching stomach. I haven't eaten since I got home from school and food sounded so good right now. Leaving my room I go down the hall until I reach the kitchen. The lights are on and some food crumbs are on the counter telling me mom had come out of her room to get something to eat.
Making some food I slowly get the things ready, humming to myself once more. I'm a little anxious to get to the next entry. She's hiding something in her writing; I just don't understand why she doesn't write about it already. She's all over the place and her life is a mess.
I understand that her parents were perfect and wanted their child to be the perfect little girl too so she would want to rebel against them. But good golly was it so bad to sleep around and get drunk at every party? Her life was spinning out of control, kind of like now. But before, when I was born she seemed so normal. So nice and sweet and brave, she was my protector against Joey. Did Joey help her change into the person she was when I knew her? Or had she changed back into her normal perfect self after this depression gave way?
I wasn't sure. Nothing about my mom made sense. She was on a roller coaster of emotion and unfortunately I took a ride making me sick.
Grabbing the food I made I took it to my room where I turned on my TV and watched some Bones while I ate. I was so into the show I didn't want to stop just to read her journal. I needed a little break from all the drama.
My phone ringing makes me put the plate down and dig in my school bag for my phone. When I grip it I flip it open.
"Hello?" I ask.
"Dee?" Brayden asks on the other side of the line.
"Yeah?" I ask. "What's up?"
"Mom isn't home is she?" He says softly.
"Uh- I think she is there were some crumbs on the counter..." I trail off. "Why?"
"I need you to go check her room. I think I just saw her, but I can't be sure since this guy came up to her. It went so fast, first this lady was standing on the side of the road, the next thing I know she's gone in a car with this guy."
"Hold on." I say getting up and racing out of my room, my heart pounding as I neared her door. Please let Brayden be mistaken. I was supposed to make sure she didn't leave the house tonight.
"Mom?" I ask banging on her door hard. No answer. "Mom?" I shout again still no answer.
Opening the door I scrunch my nose up at the disgusting smell and look around her dark room. Flicking the light on I groan in frustration, she wasn't here.
"She's not here." I state into the phone making Brayden curse.
"I knew it; the guy looked like one of her drinking buddies." He curses again.
"Do you want me to go get her?" I ask. "Call the bars and see if she's over at them?"
"No, I got it. She must have the other car if she got into town. If you can call the bars and text me if you find her I can leave. This dinner is almost over anyways." He mumbles into the phone.
"Sure, I'll text you if I find anything." I promise before closing her door and walking back to my room.
When I get into my room I get to work and call the local bars around town, if she's not there it looks like I'll have to call the next towns over bars. Call after call I make and each bar saying they haven't seen her yet, but if they do they will call me back. I get frustrated as the minutes pass by and still no bars have seen her.
It wasn't until the last bar that I call that I finally have her. "Carmen? Yeah she's here; she's been her for about thirty minutes. Getting drunker than a skunk, I was just about to call your brother." Harvey says. Harvey, like all the other bar owners have my brothers number on speed dial, they know the deal. If they see her they must call us immediately.
"Thanks Harvey, I'll tell him to go get her. Who's she with?" I ask.
"Some guy, I haven't seen him around before. If I were you I would hurry." He says before we say our goodbyes.
I text Brayden the place where he texts back and says he'll be home in ten minutes. I keep myself busy in that time knowing that I couldn't go to bed until Brayden is back without mom. I clean up the mess I made in the kitchen and just finish cleaning up my dirty plate when I see car headlights through the window.
Racing to the front door I pull it open just as Brayden comes up the steps with a drunken Carmen in his hands.
She's a mess, her hair wild and crazy; I don't think she brushed it. Her makeup was smudged and she couldn't even stand up right. Grabbing her before she could fall over I help her to her room with Brayden. She mumbles under her breath as we put her on her bed. It wasn't something to really listen to since its riddles and incomplete sentences.
When she's passed out I leave her and go to the living room where Brayden's at. "Hey, sorry about that," He says when he sees me.
I shrug. "My fault, I didn't notice she left." I say, "Where's her car?"
"She parked it at city hall. I'm going to need you to get it tomorrow; I won't have time before work." He says leaning against the wall. He looks tired; he always does after he has to deal with Carmen.
"That's fine. How was dinner?" I ask.
"Tense, she hasn't told her parents what had happened." He shakes his head. "We haven't' even talked about it. She knows I'm pissed about how she treated you."
I bite my lip and shrug. I don't want them to get together again so I'm just going to keep my mouth shut on this matter.
"I'm going to bed; I have work early in the morning." He says shrugging off the wall. "Goodnight sis." He says patting my shoulder as he passes. I watch him leave and then turn off the lights in the house and make it back to my room, falling into bed and going to bed instantly, my muscles relaxing into the mattress.
........................................................................................................................................................................................
Groaning I roll deeper into my pillows and blankets. My hand hits something hard making me groan again. Grabbing what felt like a hardcover book I lift it up and squint at the red object in my hand. My mother journal. Groaning again I grab my glasses and put them on, looking at the clock in my room.
It flashed 6:00 am. I breathe in deep and stretch my arms above my head. My body was sore that's for sure, but at least the ache was gone. Getting up I go to the restroom to do my business and once I'm done I get ready for the training that I'm going to be doing today. Changing into some sweats and a tank top I pull my hair into a messy ponytail. Pulling my shoes on I lay down back on my bed.
Seeing that I have time I grab the book and flip to where I left off.
Dear Journal,
I'm so sick of myself, so disgusted that this had happened. I went to the doctors; my parents forced me to go after a week of being sick. I wanted nothing more than to get out of there as soon as I was forced to change into that paper gown. But I knew I was too late once the door shut, my parents were waiting on the other side. They would drag me back into the office even if I was kicking and screaming the whole way. And there wasn't another door in the room, leaving me to wait for the doctor to show up and do some tests.
It was cold, the room so freezing that my teeth chattered. I never understood why they keep it so cold in there, and the flimsy gown didn't do anything to protect my skin. The doctor finally showed up ten minutes later, with some poor excuse about surgery of something like that. I told him everything that I was experiencing then he poked and probed me and ran little tests on me. He even drew my blood and decided to run some tests on it. It made me sick to my stomach and the worse possible things ran through my mind. What if I had some form of cancer? Or something worse? They couldn't tell us the results, said that it will take a day for the results. So I had to come back.
And I did, but oh how I wish I didn't. If I didn't then I could have lived in denial just a few weeks more. I could pretend that it wasn't happening to me. But I couldn't because my parents forced me to go, forced me to agree to have my blood tested. Now they know. Now I know. And now my life is never going to be the same ever again.
Why? Because I'm pregnant. All my suspicions are correct. I'm six weeks pregnant. And now my parents know. They have been yelling, shouting, arguing, crying, and trying to find a solution for it. They want me to abort the baby, but I can't do that-
Wait what? She's pregnant? But she hasn't mentioned Joey. Flipping through the pages a little after I scan for Joey's name but I don't see it at all. I flip to the pages before, thinking that I missed it before, but nothing was there. I check the date of the entry; it's the year that my sister was born that's for sure, so she is pregnant with her. But why don't I see Joey's name? The only guy she's slept with was that Tyler dude and Freddie. Maybe she just didn't mention him, or ripped the page out that did have him? Turning back to the page I continue reading, telling myself that she ripped out the page, possibly hiding who the father was from her parents. They seem like the type of people to go after a guy who got their perfect daughter pregnant out of wedlock.
I won't abort a baby. This baby is part of my flesh, made out of- No wait, not out of love. This was a mistake, this shouldn't have ever happened. This baby shouldn't be coming into this world yet, it's too soon and not planned. A mistake. Just one drunken night at a party.
One drunken night with a boy who made it clear that he only wants to play games. He wants any girl he wants, just for a good f_ck, and that's what I gave him, plenty of times. He won't want the baby. And I know it's his, I know it because I used protection with Freddie, and with Freddie it was a onetime thing. But with him, with Tyler, we never once used protection-
My whole world stops as I reread that sentence over and over again. Tyler. No- No this has to be a joke. Tyler isn't my sister father. No. This can't be right- it can't be right.
I felt as if my whole body was frozen, my jaw was a gap and my eyes wide as I took in her words. She has to be mistaken right? Slowly my body starts to break out of its frozen state, my breathing turning rapid as I flung the covers off. The book is still tight in my grip as I race out of my room and towards my mothers. I know my brother isn't home, which is good since I don't know how he will react to this. I race to her room and bang on the door, yelling and shouting at her to open up; she must have locked her door sometime during the night since I can't get in.
I yell and yell and yell until I finally hear shuffling on the other side of the door. My breathing is heavy, my eyes wild as the door opens and I look at my mother. Who is holding her head in her hands and glaring at me.
"What is your problem Deidre? I don't have time for-"
"How could you! You lying manipulative b_tch!" I shout at her face. My words seem to surprise her because she takes step back holding her chest, her eyes wide.
"What in the hell-" She says, I can see rage starting in her eyes, she was getting pissed but I didn't care.
"How could you lie? To me to Brayden and to Natalie! Oh gosh, oh Natalie," I cry in pain, tears running down my face as I glare at my mother.
"What are you talking about?" She shouts trying to gain the upper hand but I don't let her. I throw the book at her feet. Her eyes look confused for a moment until realization sinks in. She freezes at the sight of her journal. "How did you-?" She asks her eyes wide as she looks at me.
"My sister is really my half-sister?" I question my voice hard as I fold my arms over my chest.
"What- you?" She questions snapping her journal up and flipping to the page that I was on. Her eyes scan before they go wide.
"You tell me the truth right now." I shout, "You tell me that you are mistaken, that I read wrong." I plead, not wanting the words to be true.
But she sits down heavily on her bed, the journal in her hands, her head bent down. "Please, you have to tell me it was a mistake, you were wrong on the name-"
"It's true." She says looking up at me. "You weren't supposed to find out, none of you were." There is no emotion in her voice.
"What?" I choke, my throat closing in on me. "But-"
She shakes her head. "I made a lot of mistakes when I was younger. As you have read," She chuckles without any humor. "All because of my parents. Tyler- Tyler was a mistake, the parties, the sleeping around, everything was a mistake. You have to know that, you have to know how sorry I am that it happened."
I shake my head and back away. "Why keep it a secret? Why let us believe Joey is her father? Why did you choose Joey? Why did you let this all happen?" I question her, hysteria in my voice as I try to grip unto something stable. "Is Brayden even Joey's? Am I Joey's daughter?" I question with wide panicked eyes.
"Honey, calm down-" She goes to get up but I shake my head.
"Or are we all Tyler's?" I shout at her. "What happened? Why lie?" I feel a sob build up in my throat.
"No," She says softly. "Tyler didn't want me; he didn't want anything to do with me when I told him. He got angry, said some cruel words them split. I haven't seen him or heard from him since I told him. He wanted nothing to do with your sister." She says softly. "Please, come in so I can tell you everything." She says.
Hesitantly I step into the room and lean against the wall, helping it keep me up. It's quiet in the room as I wait for her to continue, when she sees that I'm not going to sit down she continues.
"My parents threw me out after I wouldn't get an abortion. I was the laughing stock at school and I barely even graduated. I lived in a small one bedroom apartment when I had your sister. I- I lived my life, got a crappy job and a babysitter who worked for free. I struggled so hard after she was born." She looks at me with sad eyes. "It was only she and I for such a long time. So long of being by ourselves," She mumbles something under her breath.
"What about Joey? Where does he fit into this?" I ground out my hands balling into fists.
"It was a weak moment you know?" She goes on as if she hadn't heard me. "Tyler was out of my life, my parents were too. I just wanted to forget about everything, so I went out one night, three years after your sister was born. Partying with some girls at work, just like the good old days. That's when I saw him. Freddie Higgins. He looked good, just like the way I remember him. He was at one of his friend's bachelor party when he saw me. He was my moment of weakness. He was single, I was single and well we hooked up."
"I thought that he was the one, he was going to take care of me and Natalie, and he was going to bring me back to the life I used to live. But he wasn't of course, we dated a few months until he couldn't handle it, he couldn't live a life with a women who already had a baby. Too bad he didn't realize that I was pregnant with his child." She spat out making me gasp once more.
No. No. This seriously can't be true. No, she's making things up I know she is. I felt as if all the air in my lungs got punched out of me at her words.
"But- but no," I shook my head back and forth. "You're lying," I growl out but she shakes her head at me sadly.
"Nope, Freddie and I broke up, saying he didn't want anything to do with me. His parents would be disappointed in him, he was working to get his doctor degree, be a world renowned surgeon. He had so much going for him. Even when we were dating he kept it secret. If we got married his family would immediately suspect it was because I was pregnant and not help pay for his schooling. They didn't believe in wedlock. So I was tossed out once more, left to care for one child and an unborn child."
"Joey- Joey is all of our father's. You told us! You told us so when we were younger, told us how you met and-" I protest.
"All lies I told you to protect you from the truth. Joey is- something different, something dark. I was trying my best to protect you-"
"But why Joey?" I cry out in frustration. "Am I even his?" I want to cry I want to punch something, smash the house to pieces.
We struggled so much with Joey. All those beatings, all those ugly words and hateful memories, they flooded my mind. Natalie and Brayden they could have left, they could have found their real fathers. But our mother forced a monster to father us. Did he beat us because Natalie and Brayden weren't his?
"He came in after Brayden was born. He was- so sweet and so caring at first." She wipes under her eyes. How dare her! She doesn't get to cry at this! I want to yell at her but she continues. "I told him everything, about my children and my life. He understood everything. He was the guy from the mall, the one that called me a slut."
I take a deep breath at her words. "Why would he change his mind about you?" I question.
"Because- I can't tell you, not now, it's to protect you." She says.
"No! You tell me everything you know. You can't keep these secrets." I protest.
"All you need to know is that he's you father Dee. He's your father." She repeats slowly making me shake my head.
"You have to tell them!" I cry out. "They deserve to know who their real fathers-"
"No! I can't, they already hate me, I already hate me. Do you not see how much I hate myself? I allowed this man to sweet talk me only to turn against me and my children after you were born. He hated them and me once he found out I was pregnant with you. He took to beating us, to alcohol. I'm disgusted with myself to see how I was a bad mother to them, to allow this monster to scare them and hurt them, to allow them to call him father. I can't live with myself to see them find out. You weren't even supposed to find out." She says.
I shake my head. "Why? Why didn't you take us away like you promised? Why did you allow it to happen then when you knew they weren't his children?"
"It's complicated Deidre. He's a dark man and when he has something that belongs to him he won't let it go. He's possessive and destructive, he may have left but he will be back to get us again soon. I know this; no amount of running will ever get us away from him. But you, he can't hurt you anymore; I've made sure of that." She says.
"What are you talking about-?" I plead with her. "Stop talking in riddles and tell me."
"You won't believe me!" She yells standing up and looking at me. "You won't believe me. You'll think I've gone crazy."
"Just tell me." I say softly.
She sobs and shakes her head slowly. "How can I tell you? How?"
"It's easy really, all you have to do is open your mouth and tell me." I huff out impatiently.
She's quiet for a moment before coming to a decision on something. "He's not human." She finally whispers making my eyebrows shoot up.
"Excuse me?" I stutter out, did I really hear her right?
"He's not human, Joey." She states her voice getting bolder.
"If he's not human that what is he?" I ask tired of her making me fish for answers.
"Werewolf," She whispers making me freeze in shock. No. No.
"Then that makes me-" I trail off in a whisper of my own.
"No. I made sure you weren't a werewolf. I took this liquid drink the night before you were born. The person who made the drink said that it would weaken the wolf within you, and if I gave you the earrings the stones will weaken your wolf as you grow until you can't change. I made sure that your human side took over completely." She states looking down at her shoes. "I knew you were going to be different, you grew a lot faster than your siblings." She rambles on and on about how she just knew.
"But you can't become pregnant unless your mates with the werewolf." I protest remembering Sasha say that. She's quiet for a moment and that's when I get my answer. "No. No." I repeat, I have been saying that a lot lately. But at this point Denial is key.
She nods. "It's true. That's why he hated me at the beginning. But after... when I told him and he told me about him. He was so different at first; he never wanted children with me because he knew they were going to be half lings. He didn't want that." She mumbles. "But I wanted more children so I didn't think it would hurt to go off the pill and pock some holes in his-"
"Enough." I breathe out. I felt as if the walls were closing in on me, it was hard to breath. Out. I needed out. Without sparing her a glance I run from her room. I run from the house.
I keep on running, right down the drive through and to the main road leading into town. I let all my thoughts leave my mind, the only thing I focus on is what's in front of me. But no matter how far I run or how much I try to push it out of my mind her words float around in my mind, weighing me down.
How can this happen?
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A\/N:....... Sooo???? Thoughts on what the hell just happened? I was so excited writing this part! It's going to be a bumpy ride folks:)
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