Live in? As in live... with Cayden?
I must've looked like an absolute idiot – my jaw was still hanging open even as he came around the island and caught a dribble of ketchup from the corner of my mouth with a smile, even as he then proceeded to take the forgotten sandwich from my hands and devour it, as though he hadn't just turned my world upside down with a couple of words ... I couldn't just up sticks and move in with him, could I? What about Ryan? What about the mortgage we'd all but sold our asses for? We'd been lucky enough to get it – I couldn't just desert him!
"We'll talk about it later, we've got plans today ... I was thinking the beach ..."
His enthusiasm was contagious – he seemed so much younger in that moment, with that wide, boyish grin softening hiss angular features.
"The beach?"
He nodded, dragging the second sandwich across the island and carefully cutting it in half with a butter knife, sliding one over to me between looking thoughtfully at his own.
"I've never been to the beach, have you?"
How did someone never get to a beach? Cayden was 28 years old ... surely he'd been to some sort of a beach ... somewhere?
"I went with Ryan a few years back, we saved up to go to Marbella but he ditched me on the second day to hook up with a holiday rep ... did you never take a holiday?"
"Never really saw the point before," he wiped his mouth on a paper towel, "I was always working anyway."
"What about when you were a kid then? Or with your mates when you were younger?"
Surely, at some point, he'd have had some kind of down time – driven as he was, I could understand him never taking that time out of his schedule when he was working so hard to break away from his family legacy – but surely somewhere along the way he'd been able to kick back and just be Cayden? I felt him tense beside me – his eyes steeling over as he cleared our plates away – my own sandwich left abandoned after those first few bites.
"Like I said, I was always working."
I felt like he was avoiding something – busying his hands with mundane tasks that I was pretty sure he probably had staff for anyway.
"As a child?" I hedged quietly – did Cayden have a childhood? I tried to imagine him as a child – all dark, startling features, it was so hard to see him as anything other than the hard and powerful sexy bastard in front of me ...
"Until I got sent down, yeah."
Oh.
I saw the uncertainty flash in his eyes; I never would have if I wasn't so attuned to his every movement, but he'd been nervous to tell me that part. I hadn't expected that, I probably should have done, given the stories I'd read on Google, but it did come as a shock.
"What did you go down for?" I busied my hands around the mug of coffee he'd given me – not wanting to disrupt his own confession time. Everything in my life had been so upside down that I had never really gotten to know Cayden, all I really knew was that I needed him more than my next breath, but I'd never truly broken through the enigma that was my man, and I realised right then that I quite desperately wanted to.
"Drugs," he shrugged, "Sins of the father and all ... I don't want to talk about this, not today. Do you have a swimsuit?"
I couldn't push him to give me answers – not after he'd had to fight as hard as he had to get me to open up to him – it would be completely hypocritical. It hurt a bit, that he was reluctant to divulge his secrets, but I guess that was just a taste of my own medicine, I would have to deal.
That was the first moment that I realised that Cayden was just as insecure about this as I was – that the thought of letting me in scared him just as much as it did me.
The realisation made me bold ... and humble, after he'd fought so hard to get to me.
Slowly I pushed myself away from the granite worktop, moving around the island to stand in front of him and wrap my arms around his neck, coming onto my tiptoes to whisper softly in his ear – the dark strands of his inky hair feather soft against my lips, "I'm sorry for every time I pushed you away, and made you feel like I was somewhere far, far removed from this. I'm really trying not to be, but I think it's about time I started to give you a little something back ..."
I offered my lips to his for a kiss, and he took them with such ferocity that I almost sunk to my knees where I stood, but breathlessly I pulled away, linking his fingers with mine as I turned and led us both towards the en suite bathroom down the long corridor.
His eyes dark and heavy lidded, he lent against the far wall, watching as I turned on the power shower – my fingers trembling with a mix of nerves and anticipation – I'd never done this before, taken the lead like this, but I wanted to give him something that no one had ever had from me, and right then, that was the only way I knew how.
"I had this filthy dream last night," I said quietly to him as I reached into the waistband of his pyjamas, "You were dripping wet, pounding into me while the water was beating down onto us ... it set me thinking..."
"Oh, it did, did it?"
He was back to my suave, charismatic Cayden – a wide, sexy grin softening his hard features as I took his steel shaft into my hands, softly pumping my fist around it as I spoke.
"It sure did ... And then I realised that there are so many ways I want to make you come..." I rolled his pyjamas down, kissing him hungrily as I walked him backwards into the cubicle – his fingers tugging at my own scant clothing as I did.
The hot water pounding against our naked bodies, and I dropped to my knees at his feet, fisting that long, hard shaft in both of my hands as I did, marvelling at the huge sight of him. It still shook me – the sheer size of his maleness – I marvelled that I could fit it anywhere inside my body. Slowly I took the thick, plush head between my lips, breathing around his wide girth steadily, closing my eyes to savour the harsh intake of his breath at that first touch of my mouth to his body.
"Fuck, Jod, fuck that feels so good ... your mouth is as hot as your tight little pussy," his voice was ragged and strained, as though he struggled to get out his words through gritted teeth.
His fingers speared through my damp hair, cupping the back of my head so tenderly that tears almost brimmed in my eyes, and I quickly drew his hard length right to the back of my throat – his grip tightening as I felt him try to refrain from losing his control and fucking my mouth relentlessly like he so obviously wanted to.
"Babe, oh shit, Jodie, please ... "
I drew my lips back almost to that thick head, dragging my tongue to taste the underside of his rigid shaft, and I swelled with pride as I felt that iron control holding him back snap at my ministrations, his fingers gripping a handful of my hair as he pounded back into my mouth hard and fast, pre-come dripping from the corner of my mouth.
"You're fucking pulling me apart you sexy little bitch, you're sucking me so good – oh yes take it hard and deep baby ... fuck!"
His hoarse, breathless pleas only served to heighten my own arousal, my chest swelling with pride at the sight of my strong, taciturn man bracing himself against the tiled wall, pounding his thick length into my greedy mouth with complete abandonment. I'd never felt power like that when I'd ever given head before, but, like every new experience with Cayden, it was just ... more.
"Touch your clit while I fuck your mouth baby, I want you to moan around my cock, I want to watch you."
I'd never been comfortable enough with anyone to do that before, but I didn't even think twice about obeying him – bracing myself entirely on my knees as I circled my clit softly, moaning in tormented anguish as that single touch to my own body sparked against the neediness of my arousal – watching him give himself over to me like this made me feel like a queen. I hummed my pleasure around the thick shaft, taking as much of him into my mouth as I could fit, trying to show him with my eyes the overwhelming pleasure that he gave me just by simply being who he was to me... mine.
I took the heavy sac of his balls into my other hand – yearning for the rush of his come against the back of my throat – weighing the heavy globes in my palm.
"Jodie, fuck baby, you're making me come!"
The first spurt of his heavy load filled my mouth, and I swallowed around the thick shaft, earning me another soft rush of come on my tongue as he shivered with the aftershocks between my swollen lips, his body arched away from the cool tiles with the intensity of his orgasm.
Pulling my mouth away, I glanced up at him, suddenly shy, and his palm cupped my chin as he stroked a drop of his come into my mouth - his eyes dark with the remnants of his arousal as they held mine intently – the silence accentuated by the water beating down around us.
"Every time I think that I've come harder than ever before – which is pretty much every time I'm inside you – you turn it around and raise the bar," he pulled me to my feet, crowding me into the cubicle wall, "Every time you surprise me, and enthral me, and I'm completely fucking bewitched by you! And the sight of my gorgeous, sexy minx on her knees with her lips wrapped around my cock will forever burn in my memories as my favourite sight ... ever!"
Laying soft kisses down my throat as I squirmed against the cool tiles at my back, he proceeded to return the favour ...
It didn't look like we were getting to the beach for a little while yet, but I didn't complain as he hooked my leg over his broad shoulder and touched his mouth to my ravenous core.