You Give Me Heart Palpitations

By MsAnonymous_Heart

81.8K 2K 632

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Chapter 1- Stuck in a Broom Cupboard with Guess Who Outside!
Chapter 2-Lost Prongsie and James' Mother?
Chapter 3-Ridiculous Rhyming
Chapter 4-More Siriusly Absurd Ideas
Chapter 5-Oh Shit! Three James and Seducing All Around
Chapter 6-Too Many Potters and James=Remus?
Chapter 7-The Peenapul Sisters
Chapter 8-The Wonders of Medicine
Chapter 9-Whiskers The Feline Devil
Chapter 10-The Cat Who Got More Then Cream
Chapter 11-Oho! Potoins with the Slug (Part One)
Chapter 11-Oho! Potions with the Slug (Part Two)
Chapter 12-Romantic Notions Wil Try To Kill You
Chapter 13-A Cairrage, Hippo and Top Hats?
Chapter 14-A 'Dodgy' Door and A Drunken Sirius
Chapter 15-Piggy Me Back! And Mars Bars?
Chapter 13- Astronomy Tower with Lily Ma- OH FORK IT ITS TOO LONG!
Chapter 17- Suicide Notes, with a Side Dish of....?
Chapter 18- MUH-HOONEY's False Fabrications May Give Out A Duel...
Chapter 18- Worthless Squid and Sleeping Farts? An All Time Low....
Chapter 20-PUT SOME CLOTHES ON!!!!!!!
Chapter 21-Pet Names? Oh Joy!
Chapter 22
Chapter 23- Rock, Parchment and Scissors?
Chapter 24- Herpes the Owl, and No I'm Not Joking...
Chapter 25- Frisky Sevvy
Chapter- The End
YGMHP~ Chapter 2- Kung Fu Fighting!!!
YGMHP~Chapter 3- The Crapper Person, Being Boring and Mating Season!
YGMHP~Chapter 4-A Chapter of Knives
YGMHP~Chapter 5-You know who You Know Who is, right?
YGMHP~Chapter 6-Crazy Divination Teachers
YGMHP~Chapter 7-Manky Old Partners
YGMHP~ Chapter 8- Weird Balloons...
YGMHP~ Chapter 9-Grapefruits
YGMHP~ Chapter 10- Trippetta?
YGMHP~ Chapter 11-Scheduled Lunacy
YGMHP~Chapter 12-Toilet Paper Encyclopaedia
YGMHP~Chapter 13- The New Note
YGMHP~Chapter 14- Am I That Predictable?
YGMHP~Chapter 15 - My Knife, Your Throat

You Give Me Heart Palpitations~Chapter 1-Round About Escapades

1.8K 58 8
By MsAnonymous_Heart

Chapter 1

"How was your summer?"

One Lily Evans looked up into the dark, mischievous eyes of one Marauder, James Potter, a cool, composed smile spreading across her face. She leant back on the handle of her luggage trolley, trying to make it look as though his presence didn't faze her. Couldn't let him get too cocky for his boots.

"You should know," Lily retorted, subconsciously tucking a strand of long, red hair behind her ear. "You practically owled me twice a day." James turned uncharacteristically bashful. "You should follow those instructions for cleaning your teeth, not sending me letters."

James arched an eyebrow at her roguishly. "Are you suggesting I should brush my teeth more often?"

Smiling, Lily shrugged her shoulders and made no comment, ignoring the fact that James' teeth shined like the brightest of car lights.

"Not to mention," she carried on, "that you tried to floo to my house and completely destroyed my living room, possibly putting my parents into an early grave."

James still remained uncharacteristically bashful and Lily wondered whether Sirius had pasted James' cheeks with permanent blusher whilst he was sleeping again. "How was I supposed to know the fireplace had been blocked up? I mean, who does that these days?"

Lily chuckled and indicated she was indeed one of those people.

"If I didn't know better, I'd say you blocked the fireplace on purpose to torture me by not letting me see you everyday," James said, moping.

Lily shrugged her shoulders casually again and even went as far stretching, as though the conversation was tiresome. As she stretched her arms out high in the air, James tugged her forwards so she was pressing up against him.

He stroked up and down her back with his thumb. "I'm not boring you, am I, Lily?"

"You have my attention." She dropped her hands from the stretch and tucked them into James' trouser pockets because: it was a sign of affection, her hands were cold, and Remus had failed to give back her green woolly gloves after using them as oven mitts.

"Euurgh!" Lily quickly removed her hands from the pockets and wiped them on James' shirt. "What did you put in those pockets, James? And please think about your answer."

James examined the gooey substance on Lily's fingers and sniffed them. "Melted chocolate frogs," he said, watching Lily wipe brown stains on him, yet not care because her fingers were soft and gave him the good-kind of goosebumps. He was about to lick the melted chocolate from her fingertips but she continued to wipe them on James' front so the kinky moment has passed, much to his disappointment.

"Where's your bum boys?" Lily asked, now playing with the tufts of James' hair.

"Marauders," he corrected her, looking cross-eyed as he tried to watch what she was doing with his tresses.

Lily smirked, "Same thing..."

James tugged her closer at this comment and decided to put his hands in the pockets of her skirt because: it was a sign of affection, his hands were cold, and Sirius had stolen his gloves to do a "doo doo" in his Animagus form in.

"The guys should be coming soon," James referred to his friends.

"Oh joy," Lily muttered unenthusiastically.

"I thought I'd come early to see you sooner."

"Your mother made you come early so you wouldn't miss the train, didn't she?"

"Maybe..."

"Mummy's boy."

James let the remark pass on the grounds that Lily wore the trousers in their relationship. As a consequence of him being nosey and curious, he searched Lily's pockets and discovered an odd bulge. Much to her protest, he tugged whatever object was making the bugle out.

"What is it?" he questioned, examining the coloured wrapper. "Some kind of Muggle sweet?"

"That's a tampon."

James went white in horror and almost dropped the "sweet" on the ground. "That's a feminine product, isn't it?"

"Got it one."

James shoved the feminine product back into Lily's pocket and kept his hands more comfortably on her hips.

"Let's not look in each others pockets ever again?" James suggested.

Lily nodded and rested her head on his shoulder, liking the smell of his shirt now it whiffed of melted chocolate frogs. Of course, the smell of chocolate frogs and melted chocolate frogs is noticeably different.

"I've missed you," Lily said quietly.

"Hmm?"

"I said, I've missed...this shirt," Lily said, rubbing her nose against his shirt collar which for some odd reason had been turned upwards. She instinctively fiddled with it until it was pushed back down and she could see the skin of his neck.

"It's only been two days since I last saw you, you know," James said, knowing what she had really said.

"That's ages," she pouted, "besides, the boys were there and they kept making gagging noises when we cuddled." 'Boys' meaning Sirius Black, of course.

"They don't appreciate the Lily Cuddles."

Lily backed away from him slightly to look at his face. "You've named my cuddles?"

James reddened. "Maybe..."

Keeping her head resting on his shoulder, Lily moved her arm around James' back so she could secretly look at the watch on her wrist.

"Checking the time when you're in my company?" James pretended to look insulted. "Makes me think you can't wait to get away from me."

"No, I'm just making sure we don't miss the train-bugger! We've only got a couple of minutes until it leaves!"

Lily reluctantly untangled herself from his arms and grabbed for her luggage trolley, where her huffy owl, Hizzy, sat moodily in his cage atop her bags. If Lily wasn't corrected, she could see Hizzy twisting his head confusedly at the other bird on James' trolley, Herpes, the owl who had been permanently changed into a pigeon last year and was downright peeved about it.

"Hey," James said, "you're not getting away from me that easily." Lily struggled for a moment but eventually let him pull her forwards so she was wrapping her arms around his neck and kissing him.

The remaining Marauders watched in the distance as the couple smooched, slowly moving backwards, Lily's feet resting on James' since they made pretty handy feet cushions.

"Good God," Sirius complained, resting an arm on Peter's head. Remus was about to scold him for using Peter's freakishly level head as an arm rest but knew Sirius would find some sort of loophole for it somehow 'saving humanity' or completely ignore the scolding altogether. "They're going to be like that all year, aren't they?"

"Even longer if they get married," Peter pointed out.

"Wonderful," Sirius responded dryly. "Kind of makes me wish I hadn't spent six years getting them together." He sighed and shouted to the couple, "Get a room!" But they plainly ignored him, finding examining each other's mouths more interesting as they stumbled back, nearing a platform pillar. "I liked it better when they argued, it was more entertaining. Now it just looks like...porn."

Remus rolled his eyes. "Trust you to mention the word 'porn' on our first day back."

"Well, someone had to bring it up!" was Sirius' poor excuse. "And Pete probably would have mentioned it anyway..."

This was not true, as Peter couldn't utter the word 'sex' without blushing or bursting into giggles. The boys turned their attention back to James and Lily to see what progress they were at the moment.

"Do you realise what they're eventually going to topple into?" Remus asked.

"Yep," Sirius replied.

"Should we at least warn them?"

"Nope."

The three boys watched with satisfied smiles as the couple continued to step back, kissing rather publicly. Once the platform pillar was in sight, James had thought (rather pervertedly) to lean Lily against it so they were more comfortable.

Of course, this particular wall was the opening to the platform 9 and ¾.

"WAAAH!"

Their screams split the air, making heads turn. Sirius, Remus and Peter watched as Lily fell backwards whilst James fell on her front, through the secret opening, and in a blink of an eye, they vanished. A few Muggles saw this odd sight but blamed it on stress from working too hard in the office.

"Our Head Boy and Head Girl," Remus sighed, his tone of voice hinting that maybe they weren't the best authority figures. "I'll grab Lily's trolley and your grab James', Padfoot."

A stern look from Sirius indicated that he was no man's slave.

"Fine! I'll get James', then!" Remus huffed. "But honestly, James' pigeon, Herpes, won't just suddenly slim herself to fit through the bars of the cage and masticate your face...again. Your fear for that bird is ridiculous."

"I hope nobody saw that," Lily mumbled from the floor, her voice rather feeble as James had fallen on top of her and was currently using her as furniture.

"Why?" he asked curiously, finding the situation not only amusing but rather pleasant.

"Because we're Head Boy and Girl and we're not showing a very good example."

At her mention of their titles, James rolled off Lily and helped her gentlemanly to her feet. "What makes you think I'm Head Boy?" he asked, unsmiling.

Lily's face fell. "You're not? But I was certain Dumbledore would-"

She was cut off by James revealing the Head Boy badge from his trouser pocket with a grin. She smacked him in the arm for tricking her.

"I saw your face when you thought I wasn't head boy!" James teased. "You loooove me. You want to huuug me," he sang, wrapping his arms around himself. "You want my baaaabies-"

"I most certainly do not want your babies, James Potter." Lily took out her own Head Badge from her pocket and admired how it shone, comparing it to James' which appeared to be covered in -do you need to even guess?- melted chocolate.

"We should probably put these on," Lily referred to the badges, unpinning the back of hers.

"I'll pin it on for you, if you want?"

Lily moved her badge away from James' grasping hands. "Sure. Any chance to feel me up," she remarked.

"Yep. You found me out," James gave in, not even bothering to defend himself. He finally managed to seize her hand which had been trying to pin the brooch and grabbed the badge from her, hovering it high in the air.

"I'll give it back for a thousand kisses," James compromised, looking pretty proud of his intellect.

Lily socked him in the nose.

"Ow!" James felt his nostrils that may have swelled from the impact of the punch. "Lily!"

She looked unabashed at her actions. "I've worked for all my life at Hogwarts to get that badge, mister. You got yours for being devilishly handsome and fancied by the teachers."

"I have a few points to add to that," James' prodded his red nose, "One, I hope you are referring to the female teachers. Two, exactly which teachers? And finally, to comment on 'devilishly handsome', just look whose talking." He smiled impishly.

Lily was about to rebuke him but found herself softening. "You should thank Merlin I'm a sucker for flattery," she mumbled. "Unless you're referring to me being handsome, as in masculine in some way." She folded her arms.

"Er...you're super pretty?" James rectified.

"Good answer."

Lily leaned on her tiptoes to kiss his nose better, but James lifted his nose up at the last second, making her miss his nostrils and kiss his lips instead. Barely a second later, they were snogging again.

"Not at it again, Prongs!"

"Ow! What the sodding hell!" James yelped as a luggage trolley booted him in the backside on purpose.

"Weeeeeee!" said a giddy voice.

"Get out of the trolley, Wormtail. It was fun and all in first year, but you're seventeen now."

The couple met with the three boys who had just run through the barrier wall, each with nauseating looks on their faces.

"I'm surprised you haven't pulled the muscles in your lips," Sirius snorted.

Lily tried to her hide her bashful smile, taking her luggage trolley kindly from Remus. "We weren't doing anything," she denied. "I was just, er, putting James' badge on for him!" She grabbed a badge from James' hand and pulled his shirt forwards so she could pin it on him.

Of course, James had taken the pulling-shirt-forward action as a sign of more snogging.

"No, Prongs. She pulled your shirt forward so it was easier to pin the badge on you, not as another opportunity to smooch."

James boldly gave Sirius the finger.

"There you go." Lily tugged on James' cheek once she managed to fasten the badge to him.

James put his hands on his hip, flashing a cheesy smile. "James Potter. Head Boy. At your service." He saluted the air.

The boys burst into laughter, and not because James was a failing comedian.

"What?" he demanded. "What's so funny?"

Remus patted him on the back sympathetically. "You make a spiffy Head Girl, my lady," he told him, and Sirius bent his knees and curtseyed.

Finally, James looked down at his shirt, discovering the wrong badge pinned to his front; the title of 'Head Girl' stared him in the face.

"Lily!" James cried.

"I swear," she put her hands up in defence, "I really didn't know it was the wrong badge until it was too late."

Sirius snorted, "Whatever. It's always the quiet ones-"

"Shut up, wanker!"

Sirius had grown to find this insult as normal and really a sign of affection, as so he claimed, and replied to the redhead with a bow.

"Come here, Head Girl," James ordered, taking a step forward as Lily simultaneously stepped back. She quickly ran over to Remus and hid behind his gangly figure.

"Please don't get me involved in this nauseating game of flirty play-fighting," Remus begged. But his pleadings were ignored as he was used as a middle point which the couple was circling as they chased one another.

Remus watched dizzily for another thirty seconds as the twp continued to literally run circles around him. With a triumphant cheer from both James, and the boys who were relatively bored out of their minds, he shouted "Got ya!" as he grabbed Lily's waist and flung her over his shoulder.

"Let me go!" she ordered, though you could tell she didn't truly mean it as she subsided into giggles. She kicked out her legs to make it look as if she was putting up a fight.

James announced, "Spinning time!"

"Oh, God, no," Remus begged.

With Lily heaved on James' shoulder, he began spinning, Lily's body rotating with him.

"How many times have they done this already?" Sirius complained.

"It's like James is Lily's personal roundabout..." Peter watched, his eyes trying to focus on the turning figures. "Gavommiting..." he mumbled, suddenly feeling sick with wooziness.

The boys watched as James gradually got faster, their figures moving so fast they became blurry to the human eye.

"Put me down, James!" Lily pulled on the back of his shirt. At this sudden action because Lily was 'undressing' him as he'd like to think, and because she'd tugged quite hard, James stumbled.

"Oi, watch it!" Sirius said as James bashed into him.

Remus watched the chaos as Lily manically kicked out her legs out and by accident, collided her feet with Sirius' head.

"AARGH!"

Within a second, Sirius had collapsed.

"THROBBING!" he shouted from the ground, arms and legs spread out widely, stroking his injured forehead. "And she's wearing those bloody pointy shoes as well!"

"Sorry-" Lily spun "-Sirius!"

"I think she may have made a dent in your head," Remus acknowledged, kneeling at Sirius' side as he examined his head cavity. Peter had even conjured a quill and was now trying to poke it through the manhole that was on Sirius' forehead.

"James, seriously, put me down!" Lily's cheeks were puffed out like a hamster. "I think I'm going to be sick!"

Remus put his hands to his hips mimicking a frustrated parent. "James! For God's sake! Put her down already!"

James stumbled again, looking distinctly pale in the face. "I don't think I can!" he yelled dizzily.

"What do you mean, you don't think you can? All you have to do is stop moving your legs!"

"Just be motionless...pretend you're having sitting down, trying to hide a stiffie-"

"Do not do that," Remus cut off Sirius, rolling his eyes.

James staggered again, heading for Peter's bent down figure.

"No!" Remus waved his hands back and forth to indicate to stop. "No! Discontinue! DISCONTINUE!"

"AAAAAAH!"

James crashed backwards into Peter, which made both him and Lily fall on top of the boy. Unfortunately, Peter had been at Sirius' side, also caught up in the collision of bodies along with Remus.

The five groaned in sync, heaped up in a sort of pyramid of bodies.

"Well, that was fun," said Lily dryly.

James ignored the fact that his friends were probably in much more painful positions and helped Lily again to her feet.

"You okay?" James asked her. "You all right?"

"I'm fine, James," Lily reassured him.

"Are you okay?" repeated James. He looked her over for any broken bones, and then physically checked by feeling her arms and legs. "Are you alright?"

"I'm-" Lily started, and then gave James a smack to the head as his hands had wandered too near chest area in his doctor examination.

"Are you sure you're okay?" James moved her hair out of her face, which was recently dishevelled from the roundabout escapades. "Are you sure you're all right?"

Their conversation had stopped and was replaced by pressed-up mouth murmurings.

"And there they go again," Sirius said, waving a hand.

The boys watched as James and Lily had unexpectedly, or maybe not so, gone back into Canoodling Mode. The couple slowly paced backwards in their kissing, again nearing another platform wall.

"Wait a sec," James reluctantly pulled away from Lily and felt the platform wall, checking it was solid and not a magical opening. He grinned, "All clear," and leant her back against it, continuing to their favourite pass time.

"Teenage spouses..." Remus sighed. Dusting off his clothes, he rose to his feet, finally realizing that the platform was too just too quiet, besides the occasional sound of saliva exchanging from the couple in the corner.

"Guys? Guys." Remus had to resort to clicking his fingers to get his friends attention, and was very aware that he felt very much like a teacher. Sirius regarded Remus, but with a grumpy look on his face from being speared in the head with Lily's shoe which had an end the same shape as a pencil's, whilst Peter was greatening Sirius' unhappy mood, still trying to still a quill into Sirius' hole... of the forehead kind.

"I don't want to interrupt the moment or anything." The impatient look Remus received from the smooching couple who had been forced to separate inclined that he did interrupt a particular something. "However, I would like you to take focus on the train."

Sirius looked left, then right. "But...there is no train, Muh-hoony."

"Exactly, Pad-feet."

The train tracks were empty.

The five looked at each other in turn and all at once, muttered; "Well, Bugger me."

James decided it wouldn't be helpful to the situation if he answered Lily's 'bugger me' with a 'gladly.'

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Hehe... An early premeare.... :)

Hope you guys will stick and help this story to come up! I put it up for Watty Awards.... Hope you liked it.... :)

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