[Dedicated to Diane, my reclusive cousin who is also here on Wattpad but doesn't really want to acknowledge the fact that she knows me in real life. Diane, I just want to let you know that I love you so much as not only a cousin but also a friend, and I'll always be here for you. Sorry for the all the times I get too obsessed with my phone. And also, we should actually finish a song together.]
Dacey held up a finger. "Let me get this straight: you somehow got yourself into Dom Amaro's backyard pool, and that was how you got the horde of puppies to help us set up for Cara's birthday party?"
I scoffed, leaning back on my couch and shifting my butt – my feet felt unusually lumpy. Reaching down, I fumbled for the crack between the cushions on the couch. As I felt something, I frowned and pulled a half-eaten cookie out. "The fuck!" I cried out, hurling the piece of food away from the couch. "God, those 'puppies' did a horrible job of cleaning up!"
Dacey snickered, covering her smile with her hand. "Overreacting maybe?"
"I don't usually find food bits in my couch," I griped, slouching back down on the couch. "And by the way, I find it really distracting to look at you like" – I waved both of my hands helplessly – "that."
"What?" Dacey rolled her eyes and crossed her arms over her chest, which was very scarcely covered by the skimpiest bikini top that I had ever seen in my life. She crossed her very tan and lean legs, which were resting on my coffee table. "I look very mature and sexy, if I must say so."
I caught sight of the cookie resting on the edge of the rug a couple feet away. "Don't even bother."
That cookie was seriously mocking me. But I did have to deal with a provocatively dressed Dacey who was all but willing to pretend to be a stripper in order to get my brother's attention. Therefore, I turned my body to face Dacey, who was reclining on the other couch.
Dacey lifted her sunglasses, resting them on the top of her head. She looked like she was imagining herself on the set for a music video of a group of teens fraternizing on a sunny beach – completely maybe disregarding the fact that she was inside in a completely controlled setting on my couch. "You can't even admire my fine fashion choice?"
"I mean, I don't even know if I could count that thing" – my hand shook as I pointed to the pieces of cloth that were covering her privates – "as clothing in the first place, let alone fucking fashion."
Dacey rolled her eyes with her hand still resting on her sunglasses. "Stop acting like a horrified nun, will you?"
"Well," I said, shrugging, "my brother is acting like a newly committed monk, so I have to assume his attitude. Better you hear it from me than from him."
"You act like he's a saint," Dacey called out loudly, taking off her sunglasses now. "I mean, he can barely talk whenever we're in the same room."
I put a finger on my chin. Was I going to destroy all of her self-esteem now, or was I going to tell her a bald-faced lie that would probably influence her to act even more brazen than she already was (dressed in the thing)? I chewed on that finger thoughtfully, frowning a little. Well, even though I liked watching Dacey thoroughly terrify my brother, I did have a duty to help her as much as I could.
I shrugged. "Well, I mean, you are half-naked. And he is a little hormonal, like all college kids."
"Kids?" Dacey lifted her leg, stretching it as she sent me a dismayed look. "Your brother is no kid. He's a man now." She let her lips twist into a smile. "Ever since I saw him shirtless two years ago. Can I say hot?"
If she was going to start fanning her face with a Cosmopolitan magazine now, I swore that I was the one who was going to pass out.
"Save it for Cara," I said, holding up a finger.
"When's she coming over anyway?" For whatever reason, Dacey slipped her sunglasses back on, putting on a new layer of lip gloss. "I mean, isn't she going for a girls' trip with her cousins or whatever?"
"Yeah. So you're stuck with me now."
"And Carter," Dacey added, wiggling her eyebrows.
And this was Plan Bikini.
Fantastic.
↔
And if this wasn't the most awkward situation ever, I would be damned. (I obviously wasn't in my right mind to agree to Dacey's ridiculous scheme, but I was her best friend.) So I put on the least fake smile that I could possibly conjure out of thin air and tried to turn my body so that I was facing both my best friend and my brother at the same time.
That was impossible, unfortunately, because they were sitting on either side of me, and I'd discovered that fact a little too late. If Cara were here, she would laugh her ass off at me...which was really nice of her.
My brother noticed my efforts first and looked up from his car magazine. "What's wrong with your face?"
From the corner of my eye, I caught Dacey's cheeks turning a much brighter shade of red than they already were from the heat, and she hurriedly pushed a couple strands of hair behind her ear before moving her gaze from Carter to her newly manicured nails.
It was incredible how she'd gone to such lengths for Carter.
Carter Ingham.
Carter Ingham, my brother. My older brother. In college.
I cleared my throat so that I could actually respond to my brother without choking on my own spit – a very possible occurrence, especially if Dacey thought she was being subtle with her overly heated looks at Carter. "There is absolutely nothing wrong with my face," I said a little too loudly.
My brother sent me a quizzical glance. "Okay, then. No need to be so defensive."
I swore I heard Dacey let out an overly long and plaintive sigh. I could practically imagine the thoughts going through her head – something about his chest muscles rippling as he spoke or something. Gasping, I sat up in my seat. Did I sound like that when I talked about Dom? Good Lord, it was a wonder that anyone bothered to listen to me ramble on about him.
"You try to look at two people at the same time," I whined, crossing my arms over my chest and propping my feet up on the table. I narrowly avoided Dacey's lemonade glass. When Carter sent me another confused look, I sighed, holding up my hands. "You're sitting on either side of me."
Yeah, I tended to say a lot of stupid things.
Dacey let out another sigh that sounded a lot like "ah". And good heavens, the way she was watching Carter roll his eyes as he ran his hands through his sandy hair was so hot that I felt my skin practically peeling off, like from sunburn. Once again, like I had been doing for the past few minutes with these two psychos, I slumped in my chair.
Carter completely ignored Dacey as he turned his head to face me fully. From the corner of my eye, I watched my best friend wilt a little – but that was completely all right since I was due to lift her up after every single time she saw my brother. I raised my eyebrows at him.
"You're just making life more difficult for yourself," Carter grumbled. "And anyway, why are we all sitting here again?"
And if I was right, with my acute observation skills, I saw Carter's eyes wander to Dacey's chest for a split second. A split second.
I squealed inside – he hadn't even given her the time of day before! And I was now a successful matchmaker because I caught his eyes moving to that specific area at least three times. Three times.
After the initial hormone rush (from happiness – I so did not have the hots for anyone who even remotely resembled my brother), my good mood deflated. This situation was incredibly creepy. Maybe I should go get Dacey a shirt to cover up her boobs. Just as I was thinking that, Carter snapped his fingers in front of my nose.
"Hey, what's taking you such a long time to think?" He shook his head at me. "See, I told you that college had a huge effect on a student's mental capacities."
I scoffed, leaning toward my brother. "Don't even try. Mom can tell you – I started talking when I was eleven months old. You didn't even say the word 'mommy' until you were, like, four."
Dacey's face was so bright now that I couldn't help but notice. (It was probably from the thrill of learning more and more things about her crush. And I thought that I'd created a monster – if the two of them ever got together, she'd never be able to let that fact go.) If my brother didn't notice, then he was truly blind.
"Shut up." Carter didn't even blush. I'd used this as leverage way too many times.
He was no fun to tease, much unlike Dom, who was now becoming my play toy.
Dom was so not my play toy. I didn't even know if we were friends. Goodness, I didn't even know if he still thought I was an obsessive theater geek (disregarding the fact that I didn't act). I could feel my own cheeks heating up, so now Dacey and I were practically twins.
Carter, once again, looked at me with a raised eyebrow. "I have no idea what's up with you here. One moment, you're a smartass, and the next moment, I catch you daydream about Soccer Jock."
Dacey laughed way too loudly than normal, even slapping her knee. I whipped my head to face Carter to scrutinize his expression – nothing. Nothing. How did he fucking miss that? I rolled my eyes, reclining back into my seat even further without the slightest concern for my now aching back. Now who was the one with more mental capacities?
"That is so true," Dacey gasped out between outrageously high-pitched laughs. If I didn't know her so well, I'd think that her laughs were fake – but they weren't. "She can't stop talking about Amaro."
Amaro? Since when did she start calling him by his last name like they were in a slick gangster movie?
Carter snapped, his eyes lighting up. I honestly had no idea why he was acting as if he'd only heard of Dom now when he really acted like Dom's biggest fan girl. "Dominic Amaro. He has a great future in college soccer, if he wants to focus on that."
Dacey's eyes dimmed a little because she was bonding with my brother, her crush...over my crush. But she went along with it – a bit overenthusiastically, however. "Lottie's, like, really excited to get close to him now," she said in a hushed, conspiratorial tone to my brother, completely disregarding the fact that I was sitting right there in between them. For real. "She's even telling him all about Guys and Dolls and everything."
Carter nodded and chuckled. Infuriatingly, he poked both of my cheeks (like I was a cherub dropped straight from the sky – and I was completely certain that situation was not possible because I was no saint) and cooed.
He fucking cooed.
My fingers were trembling so much as I picked up the lemonade glass to the right side of my feet that I couldn't even take a sip properly. It was amazing how my brother was immensely capable of ruining everything I was doing. I pointed a shaking finger at my brother. "Shut the fuck up, and don't be rude."
"Who's rude now?" said Dacey, meeting my eyes directly with the stupidest little smirk that I'd ever seen in my life.
I put my feet back down on the ground, standing up and sending my chair flying behind me. "Why are you guys so stupid?" I began to pace around the table where the three of us had been sitting, waving my hands in the air like an infuriated, half-witted composer. "I mean, all I'm trying to do is to help you out, but you just want to make me look absolutely dumb."
Then, to my complete consternation, I stumbled over a protruding object and fell face first. And with the most embarrassing oomph I'd ever even heard in my life, I felt the lungs rush out of my lungs and my stomach muscles clench – very painfully.
As I lay there with the hot patio bricks pressing into my face, I realized that I probably looked like I was doing the freestyle stroke with my arms on my way to embrace the ground. That really only encouraged me to hug the ground even more – what more humiliation could I possibly suffer?
There was no more embarrassment I could possibly suffer, I decided, as I heard Dacey's giggles and Carter's chuckles flutter around in the air above me.
I took one side look at the protuberance that had unarmed me and let out a sigh.
Seriously.
My brother had fucking tripped me.
Mature as fuck.
I pushed myself up in one single, swift effort and squatted there, staring up at my still sniggering brother and best friend. "You're really mature."
Dacey's laughter intensified, and she doubled over as her face turned cherry red. Extremely red. It was incredible how her amusement could color her even more vividly than embarrassment – and she was in the company of my brother! My brother was fucking here to witness everything as well, which was just brilliant.
"You have stuff on your face," she choked out after a second. "Oh my God, you have imprints on your face too!"
"Seriously," I muttered as I stood up and sat myself down on the chair between my brother and best friend again. "Why does everyone derive so much amusement from my failings? It's annoying!"
Carter shrugged. "It's Guys and Dolls, you know? And then it's Dom Amaro too – the soccer star." He leaned his head on his fist, furrowing his brow. "Damn, I thought I was going to have the chance to meet him at one of your stupid parties, but I guess I forgot."
I slapped Carter's bare arm so hard that it left a burning sting in my hand, completely regardless of the fact I'd slapped him at least a thousand times before. "You're an idiot, okay?" My cheeks felt ridiculously hot. "And besides, you did meet him. I don't remember where or when, but I vaguely remember you two doing something."
"Right, right." Carter ran a hand through his hair, and Dacey watched him a little too closely to even look like she considered him as nothing more than an older brother. "It was because he and you were, you know" – he waved his hand around in a circular motion vaguely – "frick fracking."
Dacey let out such a bewildered cough that she sent flecks of saliva all over me (but, to make myself better, I told myself that she probably didn't mean it because she'd be sending her saliva to my brother as well).
My cheeks felt hotter than ever, and I felt like sinking into the patio right there, even if it was scorching hot.
"I'm pretty sure she didn't fuck him," Dacey finally pushed out. "I mean, she can barely look at him without having some sort of internal monologue about his perfection."
Not true! I wanted to shout out at the both of them, but she was right.
Spot on.
How embarrassing.
But after a moment of deliberation, I realized that she probably had the same scenario happening whenever she saw my brother.
"You're incredible," I muttered to Carter. "Just don't even...don't even talk to me anymore. Fuck, I should tell Mom and Dad to ship you off to your stupid college campus so you can go drink booze and pick up college girls."
I realized way too late that Dacey was sitting there right next to me, and I turned my head abruptly to send her a startled, half-guilty look. I'm sorry; I'm sorry; I'm sorry, I thought, feeling the panic rising in my chest. It stung even more than when I planted myself face first into the ground.
Dacey shrugged.
Well, she knew me better than I thought she did.
Carter grabbed his sunglasses from next to his lemonade glass and slipped them on, sending me a toothy grin. "Don't pretend you're a nun. Dacey's got you, spot on." He pointed a finger at my best friend, who was dying internally, I observed.
"You two..." I groaned. "I hate the two of you so much. I hate you. So much." I stole the sunglasses off his stupid face and put them on myself. "Stupid." I slouched in my chair, disregarding the fact that there wasn't even much space for me to do that. My words trailed off as I mumbled under my breath, "Completely dumb and pointless, and you just want to bully me because I'm an easy target..."
The two of them let out a short laugh at the exact same time, during which I also realized that if they ever became a couple, they would definitely give me hell.
Lots of it.
I groaned.
→
Hi everyone!
I hope you all have had a lovely week. I've been writing pretty much non-stop these days, so it's been pretty busy. (I'm going to be shameless and admit that I've been listening to Justin Bieber's new song on loop for the last hour. All right, guys, you have free license to kill me if you want, but it's pretty groovy. Check it out though.) But hey, here we are!
This is honestly one of my favorite chapters. Carter is one of the best characters to write—ever—so it's just a relief to write from his point of view. But anyway, you guys just witnessed how Plan Bikini just progressed. Do you think it was a success or not? How do you think Dacey and Lottie think about it? Remember that Lottie has always thought that it was a stupid idea, so...
Anyway, there's nothing specifically related to Guys and Dolls so far. I'm just going to give you one of my favorite gifs from the movie. (Tumblr is a gem.) Oh Nathan Detroit... (or Frank Sinatra)
Anyway, a huge shoutout to republicans, or Anha, who's been my beta reader. She's so supportive, and I derive so much pleasure out of teasing her with new spoilers. (Heh.) Love you lots, boo!
The date of the next update is in my bio, as usual. Yes, it's a couple days earlier than usual, but the 31st is my birthday, and I just wanted to give you guys a little gift on that day :) Life's been good to me so far, and I'm gonna try to enjoy it as much as I can.
As usual, thank you so much for everything, readers new and old, and I hope you're having a fantastic day!
Sending kisses,
Anne xo