Chapter 01
"We can't go this time, anak. I'm sorry," my dad said while he's explaining why they can't go home with mom this month. "Hindi kami pinayagan ng boss namin to have one month leave. Pasensya na."
I stopped myself to rolled my eyes with them. After all, what's new? I was used to feel alone. Doing things in my own and it seems like fighting for my own survival everyday.
"Yeah. That's fine. Ano bang bago," bulong ko sa last sentence pero I'm sure they heard enough.
"I'm sorry talaga, anak. Babawi kami next time," sabi naman ni Mom habang pinagmamasdan ang disappointment sa mukha ko.
Ngumiti ako ng pilit habang nagsusuklay ng buhok.
They both decided to went abroad to have a job while leaving me here in this fuck up country. Kung saan lahat na lang ng bilihin ay napakamahal. Golden era who?
My parents actually asked me to go with them, but since nag-aaral pa 'ko non, I didn't agreed with that idea.
Buti na lang at grumaduate na 'ko ng college at least less stress for me. I don't waste their money because I graduated with flying colors—cum laude—which is something I am proud of.
Iginapang ko 'yon. I work hard for that.
Lumaki ako na kapag may gustong makuha, kailangan mong pagpaguran because you can't always get what you want.
Or maybe because I wasn't born with a golden spoon in mouth, if I want something, I need to do my very best to climb and get that.
If I had a choice, I will leave this country but not for now.
Gusto kong may patunayan. Gusto ko na hindi isipin ng iba that in my age, my parents still supporting my needs.
I need to make my own money. Hindi na ako bata at hindi na sila bumabata para laging suportahan ang gusto ko.
"We send some money on your bank account for your allowance. Just check it out."
They said they did that to support me. Totoo naman. They can give me money—support me financially, but I don't need material things in this world. Kailangan ko sila, ang oras at pagmamahal nila. That's all I want.
Tumango na lang ako at pinatay ang zoom video matapos ay nag-asikaso sa pagligo. I also send them a message that I'd lost my connection that's why the call ends.
Pinigilan ang sariling maiyak.
I used to feel nothing, I also mastered a bitch rest face towards other people. Para protektahan ang sarili ko at sa mga taong gustong manakit sa'kin emotionally.
I trained myself not to care to what other people say, it doesn't matter anymore. Whether you do good or bad, they still talk behind your back and say bad things against you.
I wiped my tears that's forming on my eyes.
You need to focus, Janine. You prepared for this and this day can't be ruined.
I have scheduled interview to one of the known corporate company in the country. I was wearing a formal attire, black pants and white top with a lame black coat.
Maaga akong lumabas ng condo at dumiretso sa parking area para sumakay sa kotse. My dad bought this last year, as a graduation gift. I told them not to do it but they don't want me to spend my time commuting all day. Malaking tulong na din kahit papano. Hindi hassle sa'kin. Dahil nung wala pa akong kotse, ilang oras akong naghihintay para lang makasakay. In the end, I'm always late in my class.
I reached the company two hours early than the said time. More time for me to prepare. Ayoko namang ma-late sa araw na 'to.
I decided to stay in coffee shop near at the company, sa bandang baba lang 'yon mismo. I opened the door and find a seat. Starbucks. Pinasadahan ng mata ko ang buong lugar, maaliwalas sa loob at malawak. Old style ang design at ang upuan ay gawa sa kahoy na binarnisan. Napaka-comfty ng pakiramdam sa loob.
I ordered the usual cold coffee drink with cashew and a slice of chocolate almond cake. The cashier told me to wait for thirty minutes to served my order nung magbayad ako. Bakit ganon katagal? Tumango na lang ako dahil wala rin naman akong choice kun'di maghintay para sa order ko.
Kailangan kong magising.
She even asked me for my name para tawagin na lang ako kapag ready na 'yon. I just wrote my initial Jm, short for Janine Mendoza.
Bumalik na ako sa kinauupuan para maghintay doon. Maaga pa naman at marami pa 'kong time para magbasa ng notes at mock interview questions sa phone ko. I just scrolled my phone and went on my note pad. Huwag sana akong ma-blangko bigla. Madalas, sa sobrang kaba ay nauutal ako o 'di naman kaya ay na-mental blocked.
I stood up when I heard the cashier calling my name, to get my order when someone blocks my way and get my order that placed on the cashier's table.
Tinaasan ko siya ng kilay. "I think, you just get the wrong order," sabi ko habang pinipigilan ang sarili na tarayan siya.
Tinignan niya lang ako na parang walang emosyon ang mga mata. May nakasuot na earpads sa tainga niya kaya hindi niya 'ko marinig ng maayos.
He's wearing a corporate attire, a black tuxedo at black slacks. Mas matangkad siya sa akin ng ilang inches. I was taller but when I looked at him, para akong nagmukhang maliit sa harap niya. Matangos ang ilong, his jaw line is visible, clear fair white skin tone with his hair is bruised. Para siyang mga bida sa vampire o werewolf movie.
Aba't kahit na! Hindi porket may hitsura siya ay maari niya nang gawin ang gusto niya at bigla na lang mang-agaw ng hindi kanya.
Ang tagal kong naghintay para doon tapos kukunin niya lang ng ganoon na lang?
"That's my order," pag-ulit ko dahil parang hindi niya ako naririnig o talagang nagbibingihan ang lalaking 'to!
"I don't think so," sabi niya habang tinanggal ang earpod sa kaliwang tainga niya. "It's my order."
Napabalikwas ako at tinignan siya ng masama. What ever patience I'm holding in right now is wearing thin.
"Obviously, not. Look," itinuro ko yung hawak niyang order ko. "That's my initial, my name Jm. Ikaw ba si Janine Mendoza, ha?"
Tinitignan na kami ng mga tao sa loob dahil medyo napataas ang boses ko dahil sa inis sa kanya.
Gwapo lang 'tong lalaking to, e pero walang common sense! What? Did I admit that he looks good? No!
Tumingin siya doon at kagaya ng ginawa niya kanina ay walang buhay niya akong tinignan.
I thought he was going to be a gentle man, bring back my order and admit that he was wrong but I was all wrong.
He lick the tip of the cup using his tongue and slowly sipped it, like he was trying to teased me. Like he was trying to test my patience.
Bullshit. Gagong lalaki na 'to!
"It's mine now..." He said with a grinned on his face.
I was shocked and I can't moved in my position. Hindi ako nakapag-salita. Did he licked it purposely for me not to get my order? Halos mamula ang buo kong mukha habang pinagmamasdan siyang buksan ang pinto at lumabas doon.
He's still looking at me while making a step to move forward, to leave—habang may pang-asar na ngisi sa labi niya.
Sa sobrang inis ko...
I raised my middle finger at him. He deserved that for being rude. Kulang pa nga 'yon kung tutuusin.
He successfully gone.
Namumula ang buo kong mukha sa inis. I calm myself and inhale some air to breath.
Pumunta ako sa counter at ibinigay ng cashier ang order ng lalaking 'yon. Same as my order but with his name written on it.
Aldrin :)
His name sound like a good man. Malayo sa masama niyang ugali.
I get that instead because I can't stand to pay for another order and wait for almost an hour. Nakasimangot akong dumiretso sa labas ng company kung saan may waiting area at may ibang mga applicant din ang naghihintay.
Nagpunta ako sa front counter to write my name and leave some valid id and they checked if my name is included on the lists of applicants that has scheduled initial and final interview. Nang ma-confirm nila ay dumiretso na ako doon sa upuan sa loob para maghintay na matawag ang pangalan ko.
I applied as secretary because that's position they are looking for. That fits my qualifications since I work in a office before in our municipality as little mayor and these tasks is not new to me since it's also part of my course.
Bachelor of Office and Administration.
Tinawag ang nasa unahan kong babae at pumasok siya sa loob ng room na gawa sa glass at parang tinted dahil parang studio type 'yon at 'di nakikita ang ginagawa ng nasa loob.
One lady wearing a formal outfit, same as what we had, call my name right after the other woman got finished. Malungkot 'yong lumabas ng silid na parang alam ko na ang ibig sabihin.
Bigla naman akong kinabahan dahil doon.
Inalalayan niya 'ko sa loob at pinapasok sa studio type room, naiwan siya sa labas at ako lang ang pumasok doon.
Nanginginig ang kamay kong itinulak ang doorknob at pumasok sa loob. Malamig sa loob ngunit tumatagaktak ang butil ng pawis sa noo ko.
"Good Morning, Ms. Janine Mantilla Mendoza," sabi ng interviewer na sabi ay owner daw ng kompanya na 'to. Ang lalim ng boses at matipuno 'yon.
Nakatalikod siya ngunit mula sa kinauupuan ko ay nakita ko ang matipuno niyang likuran. Bakas na may magandang siyang pangangatawan.
How someone's back can be hot as hell?
I was stand for a minute, trying to absorb what I was seeing right now, the face of the man who owns my ordered coffee.
"How's your day?" he said as I feel like my throat is being dehydrated.
I feel suffocated inside.
Napaiwas ako ng tingin at tumingin sa floor habang pinagmamasdan ang heels kong itim.
Sa dami rami ng tao sa mundo. Siya pa talaga?
He playfully gave me a wide smile. Yung ngiti niyang kinabwi-bwisitan ko!
He has the guts to asked me that question after all he did to me!
How's my day? Ruined.
He ruined my day.
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©JeraldAlde