Howard looked over at Vince, unaware how yearning his expression was. Vince was ... well, he knew Vince was beautiful. Had always known it. That's why he tried not to look at him too much, didn't want to get caught staring. But tonight ... tonight Vince was especially beautiful.
He was wearing a black chiffon robe covered in sequinned stars over thigh-high silver boots. Heavy make-up lined his eyes, making them look even brighter blue, the lashes impossibly dark and long. When Vince closed his eyes, Howard could see the lids had been painted blue and silver, and his mouth looked red and full. He was perfect, Howard thought. He could imagine himself holding Vince in his arms.
Vince was talking with Tony, Saboo and Kirk, giggling over something Tony Harrison had said. Vince had the most exquisite laugh, Howard thought. It was ... sexy. There was no other word for it. Throaty, flirtatious, completely letting himself go. He wasn't afraid to make himself vulnerable.
Howard watched Saboo gently tuck a strand of Vince's hair back into place and felt himself shake a little. He would have no trouble kissing Vince now, he was sure. He longed to punch Saboo out, then crush Vince to his chest, burying his fingers in his hair, covering those rich red lips with his own mouth ...
All at once, Dennis clapped his hands loudly and shouted, "Everyone! It is time for the Purification Ceremonies! Let Howard and Naboo be taken to their separate purification chambers!"
"What's going on?" asked Howard in confusion.
"You and Naboo must undergo the purification ritual before you are married," Dennis said. "And as Vince is your attendant, it is his duty to purify you. He has been instructed by Saboo."
"It's okay, Howard. I've got this," Vince said, his pale face earnest. "I know what to do."
Howard and Naboo found themselves almost dragged to where two bathrooms stood opposite each other, then Vince led Howard into the left hand one. Naboo was taken to the other by all the shamans - Tony Harrison gleefully called that it was an outrage and Saboo told everyone with satisfaction that they were finally coming to the crunch.
The massive bathroom was all black marble, dimly lit with black candles. The fact that the room was entirely black struck Howard as rather sinister. At the same time, he found it arousing. Almost everything was arousing.
"Come on, time to take your clothes off," said Vince in a soft excited voice, his fingers smoothly unbuttoning and unzipping and untying so that Howard was completely naked in less than two minutes. He was glad now the light in the bathroom was so dim.
"And into the bath," coaxed Vince. "Sit on the edge and then ..."
"What bath?" said Howard dopily, as he slid from the smooth edge into warm water.
The bath was set into the floor and deep enough to cover Howard almost to his chest. He thought that the tiny Naboo would be swimming if his bath was the same depth. Steam rose from the surface like a fine mist, for the water in the baths flowed from a natural hot spring, and smelt sweet, intoxicating and faintly musky.
"And now I have to wash you all over," said Vince happily. "They explained it to me exactly. Wash you from top to toe, not missing any nooks or crannies."
"Oh, I think you can skip the nooks and crannies," Howard said nervously, as Vince picked up a bottle with Purifying Body Wash written on it.
Vince started literally at the top by washing Howard's hair. Howard couldn't remember the last time someone had shampooed his hair and it felt wonderful. Vince's fingertips massaging his scalp, his skin tingling at the touch, intimate and warm.
"Head forward," said Vince, as he washed the back of Howard's head and began working on his neck and shoulders. Howard thought it was so relaxing he could fall asleep, except that being washed was awakening every fibre of his being.
"It will be so cool when you're married and we can go to all the shaman parties," Vince chattered eagerly, smoothing his hands over Howard's biceps and snaking down to his wrists.
"What? No! I don't want you mixing with the shamans, Vince," said Howard in a panic.
His mind swirled with images of Saboo and Tony Harrison performing acts of inconceivable filth upon the strangely innocent Vince. These images made him tingle hotly all over, almost painfully.
"Don't be selfish," pouted Vince. "We were always left behind whenever Naboo had shaman business. Now we get to go on all the adventures too."
"They ... they can't be trusted, Vince," Howard said, digging his teeth into his bottom lip as Vince began washing his hands, right down to the fingertips.
"I think they're nice," Vince said. "Saboo gave me a lovely drink, better than a flirtini. And he said I'm beautiful. Do you think I'm beautiful, Howard?"
Vince was now washing his chest, and rubbing his thumbs over Howard's stiff wet nipples as he coyly asked this question.
"Oh God, Vince," moaned Howard, arching his back and gripping the sides of the bath. "You're ... beautiful isn't even the word."
"What is the word?" whispered Vince, before he interrupted himself. "Oh, hello! Where have you been hiding, you monster?" He stared at Howard's red stiffness admiringly, as it floated below the water like a rare coral.
"I really don't think you're meant to wash that," Howard gasped, trying to cover himself with his hands. Damn Vince for getting him in this state!
"Oh no, that's the most important part of your body to purify," Vince said, with the pride of someone who's learned a lesson by rote. "Saboo said it needs to be very, very clean and pure for your wedding night."
"You bloody fool – Naboo and I aren't having a wedding night!" Howard shouted.
There was a gasp as Vince's hands took hold of him. Vince's strong yet gentle hands, the hands of an artist. Able tools for transformation and not afraid to get dirty.
"Oh fuck," Howard moaned.
All the tingling and pleasure in his body was now focused on one point, a singularity which threatened to become infinite and then destroy the universe, winking out into an eternal darkness.
"You've got to stop this, or else."
"It's taking a long time because you're so big," purred Vince, his tongue sliding out of his lips involuntarily, a little hitch in his voice as he kept flicking his wrist over and over with practised precision. "Now what was the word for me, big boy?"
"Oh God, you little tart," groaned Howard. "You're so ... so ...shiny."
The last word was a sigh, coming on the third spasm, which left the universe a starless vacancy.
⋆⭒˚.⋆🪐 ⋆⭒˚.⋆
When they emerged from the bathroom, Howard and Vince were greeted with a cacophony of jeers and catcalls from the riotous shamans.
"Well, hello big boy!" called Saboo. "You idiotic owl-beak-eating plum."
"Yeah, and the shiny little tart!" cackled Tony Harrison. "Oh blimey, I just about shit my bag when I heard that, didn't I Kirk?"
"Yes," Kirk said with ominous glee.
Howard and Vince gaped stupidly at them.
"I'm afraid my son's friends have played a little prank on you," said Mr Poberdy, coming forward and looking as if he was trying not to laugh himself. "They plied you with booze and owl beaks, then pretended you needed a bath."
"Pretended?" echoed Howard.
"Yes – there's no Purification Ritual, or anything like that," said Mr Poberdy. "If it makes you feel any better, it was probably worse for Naboo."
The little shaman looked almost shell-shocked as he staggered out of the opposite bathroom, a glimpse telling Howard it was all white marble. Naboo was wrapped in a large towel that covered him like a white cloak, and even under these circumstances had somehow retained his innate dignity.
"You absolute berks," he said to the shamans. "You complete and utter ballbags."
Howard's heart went out to him. What had those vile shamans done to Naboo – good, honest Naboo, their truest friend? He wanted to ask Naboo if he was okay, to comfort him. Perhaps offer a kind word or a pat on his shoulder.
Instead he strode over to Naboo, picked him up like a doll, towel and all, and gave him a Howard Moon Special. It is difficult to say who looked the more horrified – Vince or Naboo.
(NB: A Howard Moon Special is exactly like a Vince Noir Special, except that the kisser has a moustache)
⋆⭒˚.⋆🪐 ⋆⭒˚.⋆
Neither of them spoke on the carpet ride back to the apartment. Mr Poberdy had sent them home on one of his own luxurious flying carpets, operated by one of his most trusted servants.
"Don't worry, Howard," Mr Poberdy had said kindly as he saw them off. "These things happen at pre-wedding parties. They're all meant in the spirit of fun and the boys were just letting off some steam. There's no harm done."
The servant stopped outside their apartments so they could alight. Howard went to give him a tip, before remembering he'd left the change from his pockets in the Poberdys' black marble bathroom. Then he realised he didn't know if a tip would be an insult or even illegal, so he contented himself with just thanking the man profusely.
After Howard unlocked the front door, he stood uncertainly in the living room as Vince confronted him, arms crossed in front of his chest.
"Howard, I'm starting to think you really do want to marry Naboo," he said angrily. "You said you connect with him on an intellectual level, and think he's cute, and want to keep him to yourself at shaman parties. You can't kiss me, but you don't have any problem snogging Naboo!"
"Vince, I can explain," Howard said. "I ... there's something I need to tell you."
"What is it?" demanded Vince.
"Vince ... I ... you see, it's like this," he said, gazing at Vince with anguished longing. "You've got to understand that I ... I ... I ..."
Then Howard collapsed on the sofa, face first, like a tree being felled.
── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──
Word count: 1665 (Total: 16 519)