"That was the coolest freaking boutique I've ever seen! It had my style and everything! Lo, I swear you know me more than I ever thought anyone could." Normani squealed kissing Lauren's cheek as they left the store.
Lauren blushed and shrugged. "I just kinda remembered how you used to dress, and had a local designer incorporate it into new styles." she answered modestly. She wasn't used to this kind of intimate affection anymore.
"You could seriously make a line of clothing Lo! And by the looks of the people inside, the boutique does well." Gushed Ally.
"But then it wouldn't be special, the point was that people would get individual designs. It keeps it personal and affordable. Chains tend to over price things, and it loses its artistic value." answered Lauren.
"That's pretty smart Lauren." Camila added smiling at the blushing girl.
"Hey I have a question. Everyone has a store dedicated to them but me. Where's the love Lauren?" asked Ally playfully offended.
Lauren chuckled, amused at Ally's playful hurt expression. "I just haven't come up with a idea worthy of you Ally cat." Lauren answered completely unaware of the use of her old nick name for the Latina.
Ally noticed though. So did the other girls. She blushed saying, "I swear Jauregui, I don't remember you being so smooth with the ladies."
Lauren's face was beet red as they continued to walk down main street. They were on their way to the bookstore, when Camila stopped and stared at Lauren in shock.
"What?" Lauren asked uncomfortable at the look Camila was giving her.
"You dated men. I thought you slept with them! But you couldn't of!" Camila whispered surprised.
"Oh my god I never thought of that! How did I forget that?" Mani added also confused.
"I never slept with Luis or Brad. They were like beards for me I guess. I actually didn't have sex until a few years ago." informed Lauren nervously.
"Wait. Sam? Sam was your first?!" Camila whispered, jealousy seeping into her voice.
"Uh yeah. I mean she was my best friend, and since she worked at the hospital I was in she already knew about me. It didn't work out though, I didn't love her and she is pretty much 100% lesbian. It was awkward and uncomfortable, so we never did it again." Lauren mumbled embarrassed.
"You've only had sex once?" Ally asked amazed.
"Uh yeah? Why is that so weird?" Lauren mumbled, feels of insecurity seeping through.
"Lauren you're beautiful, like seriously beautiful and you're thirty years old and practically a virgin!" Normani exclaimed.
"I was always hiding my condition though. It kind of makes it hard to pick up girls. At first I was saving myself, but I realized a happy ending wasn't in the cards for me. So me and Sam were drunk and I asked her. She didn't mind, but afterwards it was just not what I expected. Sam said it feels like that if your not in love with someone. So I just never really... ya know tried again. Plus the women here avoid me like a leper romantic wise. I mean their nice, but every time I tried to flirt with someone it never went anywhere. It seemed like they were afraid of giving me a chance or something." Lauren sadly explained, looking down as she started to walk again.
The girls looked at Camila as they watched her expression of jealousy be replaced for one of affection. They avoided her because they thought Lauren was meant for Camila. The thought made Camila feel happy and guilty for some reason. She knew it wasn't her fault, but while she was going on dates and having casual sex, Lauren was having awkward sex and being avoided like the plague. How lonely could this girl get? Camila thought sadly.
"There is a girl out there for you Lo. She will love you with everything she has, and when your together, everything will feel perfect. It won't be awkward, because she'll make you feel loved and safe. I promise you Lo, your not meant to be alone." Camila said with a small smile.
Lauren shrugged looking at her feet. "I'd rather be alone to be honest." Lauren said quietly.
Ally furrowed her brows and asked, "Why?"
"Because loving someone is like playing Russian roulette with your heart. I don't want to play. People die. People leave. People throw you away. I've had enough of that to last a lifetime. If you don't get close to people, then they can't hurt you. I'd rather be alone than hope for something that's never gonna happen. I'm nothing special, if I was, than I wouldn't be as alone as I am. Sure I have friends now, and I care about them, but I won't ever let someone have the power to break me again. I'm happy this way.... honest. Some of us just aren't meant for true love in this world, and I'm one of them. I'm not upset about it, I accepted it a long time ago."Lauren finished softly, avoiding their gaze.
The girls looked on the verge of tears, as they listen to the broken woman's words.
"We should keep going, the bookstore isn't far." Lauren said ignoring their gazes as she continued down the street.
They trailed behind her, distracted. The girls couldn't help but feel guilty for their role in Lauren believing how unimportant she was. They were stopped when a girl approached Lauren as they were about to enter the bookstore.
"Hey Liv. I thought Bianca was with you? " Lauren greeted smiling.
The teen smiled sadly at Lauren and said, "She isn't doing so good, so I thought I'd get her a book to distract herself. Any suggestions?"
Lauren was quiet for a moment, and said, "Do I wanna know. Its in the Camren section, and I think there's a few parts in there that might help her. "
Camila snapped her head to Lauren completely confused. "Camren?" she stuttered.
"Oh my god, its Camila Cabello!" The teen squealed excited.
Lauren chuckled saying, "Camz meet your biggest fan."
Camila looked at the blonde teen fondly. "Hi, whats your name honey." Camila asked smiling.
"Oh my gosh, I'm Olivia. You're my favorite member! I love banana's too!" Olivia introduced her self beyond excited.
The four girls laughed at her introduction. "Nice to meet you hon. Lo said something about a Camren section? Is that in the book store?" Camila finished, dying of curiosity.
The teen nodded enthusiastically. "Yeah, Lo buys fan fiction from people and sells it in her store. We have all kinds! Camren's the biggest seller, but Laurinah, and Norminah is a close second. Then there's Dally, and others but to be honest there's only like two Camaustin in there and they've been there forever. It's not a popular ship." Olivia added grinning.
Lauren smirked smugly saying, "I only bought one or two of that asshole's ship to be fair to the fans. Camren beats all."
Camila looked at Lauren in shock. "You used to hate Camren!" she exclaimed.
"That was when I was hiding. I don't have to anymore. You know about me, so does most the people in this town. I can like what ever I want here. Have you ever read any of these stories? They're amazing! It's seriously scary how their imaginations work." Lauren shrugged smiling.
Camila rubbed her temples frustrated. "I swear, I got made fun of for watching the videos, and you read the books! How fair is that!"
Lauren shrugged again saying, "Time changes everything."
Lauren turned to the teen and said, "Grab the book and Me and Camz will sign it for her. Should put a smile on her face. The first Camren book signed by both characters, she'll flip."
Olivia nodded eagerly bubbling with excitement, rushing into the store.
"That had to be the cutest thing I've ever seen." Ally gushed. Normani nodded laughing at the two blushing Cubans.
"Come on, the inside is really awesome." Lauren said, gesturing them into the store.
Camila entered the book store, and if her eyes could take the shape of hearts they would have popped out of her skull.
The store was two levels that wrapped around the entire store. Old oak book shelves lined the second story walls, as even more stood scattered throughout the upper level. There were couches, and bean bags. It was a homey and comfortable environment to just crack open a book and relax.
The lower Level was the music section, with rows of cd's, vinyls and lyric books. The walls were covered in a painted teenage portrait of herself dancing with a banana in her hand, as she had head phones in her ears. Her musical inspirations lined the walls as posters, in a mural of her sitting on her bed writing lyrics. The teenage version of herself was gazing at her poster of Ed Sheeran as she smiled.
Tears pricked Camila's eyes as she looked at a store that could have been made straight from her heart and soul. She looked at Lauren as who avoided Camila's gaze, signing the book for Bianca. She only looked up to hand Camila the book with a pen. When their eyes met, she noticed the emotion in her old friends eyes and smiled softly.
"This store Lo, is honestly my wonderland. Your choice of the name, was perfect. It's beautiful." Camila said softly. She could barely speak with how thick her throat felt.
"Thank you Camz, that means a lot. " Lauren said smiling.
"Wow Lo, seriously you out do yourself constantly." Normani breathed glancing around.
"Look guys there's sections with our ship names! Troy and Arin's too. Should we get a a few books? I think our kids would like books with stories about us." Ally gushed climbing the stairs towards the books as Normani followed her.
Camila signed the book and handed it to Olivia with a smile. "This book is on me, if you hand me your book too I'll sign it. Then I'm going to get myself a copy, it seems I have some fan fiction to catch up on." Camila said smiling softly.
Olivia smiled excitedly and handed her the other book to sign, when Camila was done, Olivia said her thanks, kissed Laurens cheek and ran to the register.
Camila laughed at her excitement and followed her to pay for Bianca's copy.
An hour later the girls left the bookstore with bags of books, laughing at the imaginations of some of their fans.
"Seriously! Its about us as super heroes! Its really good and I'm only on chapter two!" Normani exclaimed.
"Dinah would have loved the idea of being a superhero." Camila said smiling softly.
"Oh yeah, in that book she's like this awesome werewolf in a way, and she is super strong and such a adorable character." Lauren lightly gushed.
"You've read it?" Asked Ally surprised.
Lauren smiled saying, "There's like hardly any fan fiction out there I haven't read."
"Really? I thought all you do is work?" asked Camila confused.
"It's part of my work I guess. I read the stories online and if their good, I track the authors down to buy their stories and put them in the bookstore. The fan fiction are our tourists best seller. In about three months kids from the city will come here on the weekends for concerts. I don't do it in the summer because artists are usually touring. This is more of a fun spot for musicians to stop and relax a bit. Demi should be here in September." Lauren said loading the bags in the car.
The girls stopped and stared at Lauren. "Demi knew where you were and didn't tell us?!" they said at the same time.
Lauren shrugged and said, "I told her not to say anything unless you asked. Apparently the investigator Dinah hired led to Demi, and when he asked for Dinah, She told her. That's how she found me. When Demi asked why I couldn't contact you guys, I had to explain my situation to her. She helped me build my business and keep my anonymity."
The girls wanted to be mad, but they really had no right to be. "How do you know all this?" asked Ally.
"Dinah wrote me a letter too. She explained a lot in it." said Lauren vaguely.
"So grocery store right?" asked Lauren, trying to get off the topic of Dinahs letter. She didn't want them to ask her what was in it.
The girls let her sudden change of subject go for now, the day had been good so far, and they had no desire to rock the boat.
"Yup, with you and the guys all working, we should start to alternate cooking days. A few days a week we should have dinner together, especially once school starts and we're all working. It would save us a lot of time just cooking together, plus it'll be easier with the kids entertaining each other." Ally suggested.
"Kind of like when we lived in our house in LA?" asked Camila.
"Yeah, it makes more sense. I mean three different houses to cook for and clean up without help? That's a pain. We don't have the help we had back home, so I say until we have a routine, we try to do things together." Normani stated.
Lauren listened to them and burst out laughing. The three passengers looked at her confused. "What's so funny?" asked Ally.
"You guys are. Housekeepers? Ally used to go motherly when things weren't cleaned to her satisfaction. Camila I understand because lets face it, she's messy. But you guys were a bit more independent. I'm just surprised how worried you are now that you don't have the people you had back home. I know some teens looking for work, I bet they would clean your house a couple hours a day for not much and a autograph. If you each cook for one day a week, you can alternate the other days as barbecue's or family dinners. That way cooking takes little to no time and cleaning up is a breeze. You would still have time to play with the kids and relax." Lauren lectured.
"Oh my god, she's like practically calling us Diva's!" Camila exclaimed.
Ally and Normani remained quiet and Lauren started to worry she had over stepped. "I'm sorry I didn't mean..." she stuttered,
"No Lauren, your kind of right. I mean I had housekeepers who did most the cleaning and I didn't even work. I took care of the kids of course but to be honest I was bored to tears. I mean I love my children, their everything I always wanted. But I used to have a career I could be proud of, I just want both without having to travel around the world all the time. This job is amazing because I get to do something like help children and still come home and spend time with my family in the same day, right Mani." Ally said smiling.
"I had nanny's for the days I worked at my studio, and more often then not I had the nanny cook. Me and Arin juggled a lot, and I still feel like I didn't give enough. I love my studio, it was my dream to teach, but the late hours messed with my family time a lot. I mean once their in school all day, I wont be home till their asleep so this is a nice break. At least now I have school hours and I have a chance to really have both. Teach dance and still raise my kids." Normani agreed smiling.
"What about your recording studio Camila? What will you do for the year?" asked Lauren Curiously.
"Well I'll keep it open, and have some of my employees run it for now. But I don't know if I want to keep it. A part of me does because me and Dinah built it together, but another part doesn't want to do it without her. We had a good partnership, "the dream team" they called us. It's just not the same without her." Camila said sadly.
"I understand that, it's a tough decision." Lauren said sadly.
The other girls agreed and they broke off into casual conversation, while Lauren was lost in thought about Camila's situation.
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The shopping took two hours, since the girls couldn't find their normal high end brands they grew used to. Lauren eventually grew frustrated enough to find a brand that would resemble their usual, and ranted about their spoiled nature. Realistically the girls were never really picky about that sort of thing, but couldn't pass up the opportunity to irritate the green eyed girl. They soon realized that by just acting like they used to, was the fastest way to for them to ease Lauren back into their friendship. She was still weary of them, but she would subconsciously slip on more than one occasion and let her guard down. Her walls didn't stay down for long, but it was definitely a start in the right direction.
When they finished, they pick up the kids from daycare, and heard a never ending monologue on how wonderful Queen D's was. When the family entered the shop they were greeted by their fathers, who had an exciting day of their own. They were making plans for dinner, when a teen entered the shop, causing Lauren to freeze in the middle of her conversation with Sam.
The teen was in jeans and a old band shirt, with a leather jacket. She was dressed in a mirror image of Laurens youth and it set the three members hearts racing. She even had old doc martens casually unlaced, the only real difference is instead of a beanie, she wore an old baseball cap. Camila scanned her, and saw tan skin with dark brown hair, a heart shaped face and guarded hazel eyes. Her eyes were puffy from obvious crying, an tears soon pool in her eyes when her gaze met Laurens.
Laurens whispers to Sam, asking her to take the kids to their lounge and that they would be making dinner in the kitchen tonight. The kids and men leave the shop, as the woman linger concerned for the tears that are now in Laurens eyes as she never breaks her gaze from the teen.
Lauren starts walking towards her, as the teen runs to meet her, throwing her arms around her as she breaks into heart wrenching sobs. Lauren holds the teen tightly, whispering "It's gonna be okay" in her ear. They stay that way for a few minutes, when Bianca calms and disengages herself from Lauren clearly embarrassed at her lack of control, but grateful for the comfort never the less. She wipes her eyes and says, "Sorry Lo."
Lauren shakes her head smiling sadly as she says, "Never be sorry B, everything will be okay."
Bianca nods and eventually notices the other women standing in the room. "Oh sorry about that, its been a rough couple of days." she says embarrassed.
The girls move closer and Ally looks at her and sadly says, "Honey its alright, your allowed to be sad. I'm Ally, this is Camila, and Normani. Were old friends of Lo's."
Bianca's eyes widen and she exclaims, "Oh my god your fifth Harmony! Lo they came back for you! I told you they would!" she excitedly says smiling at Lauren.
Lauren looks down a moment and starts to say, "B its not what you think.."
"What do you mean?" Bianca interrupts her confused.
Lauren sighs and says, "Why don't me and you go to my office? I heard you were in and out of the hospital for the last few weeks, and there's a lot you missed."
"Okay.. but where Dinah?" Bianca asks concerned.
The four girls flinch at the mention of their late friends name and it does not go unnoticed by the teen.
"That's part of the long story. We'll go talk, and the girls will make something for dinner right girls?" Lauren asks looking at them pleadingly to agree.
Ally smiles sadly and nods her head. She ushers her two friends into the lounge leaving Lauren with the teen as they head to her office and shut the door.
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"Dinah died?" Bianca sniffled.
"Yeah..." Lauren says holding back tears as she explains her trip to LA and the conditions of the will.
"So your telling me they didn't really look for you? Their just forced to be here?!" Bianca says angrily.
"Something like that." Lauren confirms sadly.
Seeing her friend upset, makes Bianca's anger calms and she reaches over and hugs Lauren.
"I'm sorry Lauren, I was so sure that they would come for you one day. Technically Dinah did though, she didn't stop looking." Bianca says positively.
"Yeah, I just wish she would have approached me." Lauren replies with a sad smile.
"She probably wanted to, if it were me, I'd be afraid of being rejected. I mean, you left and didn't call them, so I would think you hated me too. I'm not blaming you Lo, I know you had your reasons, you wouldn't just cut them out, its not who you are. But from their view point I guess I'm saying I understand why they didn't come sooner." Bianca says quietly.
Lauren chuckles sadly smiling at the teen. "Your a smart kid you know that?" she says.
Bianca grins and says, "Of course. I don't have a 4.0 GPA for nothing."
They laugh at her bluntness and Bianca grows serious.
"Are you sure I can stay with you Lo? I mean, you already have Dinah's kid ya know? It seems like a lot." Bianca asks insecurely.
Lauren looks at her and runs her fingers through Bianca's hair, a intimate gesture her own mother did regularly and says, " I can handle Emily fine, plus I have the girls helping. As for you. Your not a burden Bianca, I care for you and cared for your mother. I'm not gonna abandon you. I don't want to replace your mom honey, but maybe I can be like a mother or a sister to you in time. I've been alone a long time, and when this years up they'll all be gone again, and it'll be just me again. Maybe after high school, when your in college you can look at my house as a home you can come back to. Even before now you were like family to me B. The only family I let myself have. You understand me in a way others don't.I don't let many people in and past my walls, but I can make an exception for you. I trust you."
Bianca's eyes gloss over with unshed tears as she smiles at her friend. "You know, my mom said she used to be worried about what would happen to me if she didn't make it this time, but since you started coming around helping us, she said she trusted you to watch over me. She told me to tell you thank you for everything you did for her." Bianca says smiling.
Lauren cleared her throat as best she could over the emotions that were trying to spill over. "Your mom reminded me a lot of my mom. She helped me in more ways then one. Just watching how she was with you healed pieces of me, and I was very lucky the day I chose this town to make my home. I couldn't have picked a better place." Laurens voice was shaky but she held it together. Speaking of her mother always made something in Lauren break, but she knew the teen needed her to be the strong one now.
Bianca smiled to herself and suddenly remembered something. Reaching into her bag, she pulled out a envelope and handed it to Lauren. "Mom said to give you this and that you would know what it meant." Bianca said handing it over to her.
"Two envelopes in one month, I feel like I keep winning the Lottery."Lauren said chuckling.
Bianca shrugged and said, "She wouldn't tell me what was in it, she just said when she was gone to give it to you."
Lauren smiled and rustled her hair as she grinned. "Why don't you go see if Sam has something for you to snack on till dinners ready, while I read this and make a few calls. After we eat, we'll go home and get you situated. " Lauren suggested to the teen.
"Sure, think you got some Nutella back there?" asked Bianca hopefully.
Lauren squinted her eyes at the teen and said, "Cabinet above the fridge in the left corner. Don't let Sam see you, she hasn't figured out where my stash is yet."
Bianca grinned and ran out of the office as Lauren laughed at her retreating figure.
Lauren opened up the Letter Bianca's mother left her, and was unprepared for what was in side.