Jack :
The next day, she seems to be lighter.
I only hope it was because of my help last night......
When I woke up in the morning I decided to do something I never thought that I will......
I am thanking to the moon.
Over all the sorrow he did to me while placing the entire world safety on my shoulders.
But I'm doing it, because it wasn't for me. Actually,
It was for Elsa.
She deserves every form of protection that the moon can offer, including mine!
Especially mine.......
I finished my unexperienced, yet quite simple to understand prayers quickly as I heard her coming down the stairs, and saw her opening the door.
-"Hi!" She said with a light voice.
-" Hello, my queen." Too official?
I smoothed things up with a smile.
She laght.
-"Jack, you can call me Elsa. You don't have to use my title as a matter of honour."
She noticed the coldness in my reaction and I got a bit nervous of her sharp understanding of the situation, catching me in one of those moments I don't exactly want her to know.
-"Okay then...... Elsa."
I said embarrassed in the beginning yet calming down as my eyes ran all over her look, enjoying every moment I wanted to stay stuck in.
-"Okay then.
Jack, you remember what we planned to do today. Right? "
She asked me with a testing look,
when I was completely out of focus as my eyes got to the edge of her dress and her ice heels that were slightly sticking out of her dress.
-"No......."
I couldn't answer her questions when I was still drowning in her!
Soo gentle, soo beautiful.......
Why do I enjoy looking at her soo much?
-"We are going to try to stand you up today. Remember?" She talked to me like a five year old kid. The exsact point my IQ dropped to that moment.
-"Yha......"
I answered still witched by her.
-"So come on already, stop fooling around!" She laght again.
Wow,
I guess I helped her very much that night, she is soo free over sudden!
And she is soo beautiful that way.......
-"Okay." I got siruse while I sat on the bed ready to stand, a part of me still confused of the ecstasy I felt last moment and always go higher and higher in when she's next to me.
I cleared my throat to ignore the strange flash in my chest and tried to stand,
But a second before I did, she held my hands and said to me as she looks deep into my eyes :
"Just do it slowly,
because we don't want the muscles that just healed to get hurt again, aren't we?"
She said sweet, yet sefisticated and kept look into my eyes as I stood up in a completely normal way.
I felt no weakness at all as she touched me, almost like she gave me power while I stood up to my full height,
Almost a head upon her height.
She was a bit terrifyed of my height compared to her's for a second as I stood in front of her in the first time,
looking at her eyes like I always wanted to, so she took a little step back and her hands got out of my reach.
In that fragile of a second when she was cutting off of me, I felt the weakness I should have felt as if I stood up alone right now!
That was extremely ood but more importantly - I felt weakness because her hands were not in mine, and her eyes got away for another remote distance. Away from my eyes.
-"Can you walk?"
She asked, conesurnd as she looks right at me.
-"I don't know."
I answered, still finding it hard to breave of the last moment oddities.
"I'll try." I answered cold again,
to calm down.
I put my right leg forward, still barely breaving out of the stress.
Is it possible that I am healing faster because of her?
Can Elsa make my pains not effective fiscally?!
'No.
It's not the time to to think about it!
Go ahead! Walk already! Do you want to make things even worse in the front without you?!'
My mind castigates on me.
I took more courage, took the next step without thinking, and did it so fast that it hurt.
- " Oh, Dammit!" I whispered to myself as I was in the midway to dropped back to the bed.
-"Oh!" She rushed to me, conesurnd and slipped into my hands somehow.
-"Ouch." I blurted out as she fall on my knees and we discovered ourselves, in each others arms.
We both blushed like a fools from the embarrassing situation and giggled a bit.
-"Oh my! I am soo sorry!
Are you okay?" She asked worried as she took my face with her hands and looked deep into my eyes,
And while she was so close to me I felt some kind of.......... Satisfaction?
I looked straight at her eyes, she looked up at mine and I drowned in her, like a minute ago, over again.
Her eyelashes were moving a bit when she looked at me, trying to know what am I thinking, and what is shining in my eyes like glowing stars. Exactly what I tried tried to figure out that moment, in her eyes.
That moment captured me.
I feel like we are connected, now, in every way two people can be.
'What a strange two people;'
I pondred that moment.
'A perfect girl, full of secrets and misery of her unknown past, and an invisible and emotionless guy.'
But I cure her misery, and she gives me emotions and a heart to feel,
So in the end, we are completing each other.
I came back to her eyes connected to her, want her more than ever ;
How wonderful is the knowledge that she is mine, next to me, In my hands now.
For some reason it felt very natural when she is sitting like this.
We are close...... I almost can't breave.
I looked into her spphire eyes and over sudden, I felt like all my muscles are begging me to kiss her, and I drowned so deep in her already that I almost forgot who I am, and what I shouldn't do.
Soo close........
Are we too close?
The answer made the reality slap in my face, and I blinked very fast as if I had been actually slapped.
It cut me off that moment, that felt like forever and I had to answer. Hopefully, that she won't be able to feel my heart goes out forwards her with every pulse.
-"No, no...... it's okay.
I'm completely fine.
Don't worry it was an exident."
I tried to break that thought of kissing her.
-"Oh, okay then....." She smiled a smile that made it very hard to control that impulse I had,
Yet she got out of my hands, and left a weird feeling of weakness,
Like part of me was torn away from me.
Taken so far away that I couldn't reach it or get it back.
And I knew why it was so far. Inside.
I only didn't understood it until later that day.
'No! Don't leave!
Please stay with me!
That's where you belong!'
I almost said as my heart demands it to be screamed, yet only my hands went forwards to catch her as she slipped out of my fingers as gentle as a light breeze.
Bitter disappointment.
-"Sorry about that,
We will try to do it tomorrow as well,
Goodbay."
She walked back, away from me, apologised quickly, still all rosy-red,
and blurted a short goodbye from behind the door as only her head glancing on me with a shy smile,
and got away.
I was shocked.
Did I just wanted to......... kiss her?!
I started thinking as my heart beat was accelerated with every second that went by;
Kiss.
Kiss is a result of a very intense emotions between two people.
Those emotions are the most described ones in human history.
They are described in many different forms becuse they are mysterious, uncleared and unexpected.
Unexpected.......
My meeting with Elsa was unexpected,
My heart started beating in strange pulses since I've known her,
They say that this emotion is from the heart.
I think she is beautiful, intelligent, I can read her as much as she can read me.
She understands me more than anyone.
She is the only one who naturally sees me.
I can't stop thinking about her.
I am over protective next to her.
I care for her the most......
That emotion I can't recognise!
It's.....
I think it's......
It is love.
I love Elsa.
I love her because when I look in her eyes I see perfection.
I can't resist it.
She makes me feel love!
I have been locked down in heel for everyone around me all these years,
I don't want it anymore!
I will be free, she will be mine, and I will give her every last piece of me.
I wanna get up,
I wanna run to her, tell her now!
Look at her in the eye, like a lover,
Kiss her like in my wildest dreams I never thought I will!
Take the pleasure of each moment of that feeling calls love!
But wait........... I can't.
I swore to be a guardian,
A guardian mustn't love,
It was the biggest part in the oath.
It's forbidden.
That is why she is soo close and even tho, she will be far far away from me all times.
No matter how close she will be.
I knew it in that moment she was in my arms, I just refused to realise it.
I shrunk myself in as I put my hands on my head, so I won't screame to the sky.
'No!'
Why?!
Why does it have to be that way?
Until she learned me how to feel and I got the chance to live!
So close to what I craved to my entire life!
Soo close to her.......
Why is it forbidden?!
Why do I always want what I can't have?
Why is it stronger than I?
Why can't I restrain my attraction to her?
Will it disturb me protecting her?
No. I'll never let that happen.
I'll die before I will let down my protection on her.
I'll die before I will let her down.
If it is forbidden, and I must be strong against the enemies that will come sooner or later.
I will do it for her.
Enemies.
Not just the ones who are obvious, but soo the ones who are hidden......
I mustn't take her to the camp.
I won't let her fight in the front.
I can't bare the thought she will die.
Never.
I will hide everything that is connected to the war.
She has enough to bare already, which I must find out too if we already thinking about that......
Oh! There is so much to figure out!
The world on my shoulders never felt heavier.
I looked around me on the invisible ice walls of the castle in the night.
I should have sleep a long time ago, but I cannot.
Not with all thoes facts to deal with or emotions that finally are so strong that I am losing my mind.
Suddenly,
A very strong breeze from the west was hitting on the frozen walls of the palace.
And over sudden,
I heard Elsa crying.
My heart almost shattered to pieces of her weak voice,
Calling me and craving for help.
Then, I decided to do something risky:
I sat on the bed,
Straight up my back,
And got all the power I had to stand up.
I stood, a little shaking at first, but then relaxed and cold myself.
I started marching to the outside of the room.
As quiet as a ghost, I got out to the big hall outside my room on the first floor, amazed by the beautiful snowflakes architecture of the floor and the ceiling,
Having a hard time not to fall off my feet when looking up like this and walking at the first time since two weeks ago.
Fast and light as the wind,
I ran up the stairs,
and when I got up to the last stair, aproched to Elsa's bedroom, quite as if I wasn't exist at all,
I bended behind the doorpost, afraid that she will see me in the night,
and peeked up on her doings.
Only her image made me feel such a strong (צביטה) in my heart that I had to turn around and stay attached to the wall to go through the emotion I have to the girl I can't love.
Her image was still scorched in my memory while I tried to take control of my heart beat as my eyes were closed:
Beautiful as the moonlight,
Her living blue eyes shining yet, only of her tears now, in this tragic night.
She wore a white nightgown, made of white thin fabric almost floating in the empty space of the room and on her shriked body ,almost trying to defend itself of something.
Maybe of her fears, that looked like the reason for all those frozen tears that were spreaded on the floor, like shining, remote and sad stars.
Her face were pail, yet the rosie colour on her checks remained.
So as the lustful colour of her lips, that I craved to kiss.
But her voice of crying made my breath run away of my lungs, and as the thoughts spinning in my mind I tried to catch it back, breaving heavily against the wall;
Well done you idiot!
You managed reach Elsa's bedroom without any idea how to help, or how to handle a crying woman!
In addition to this -
You can get caught by her every second because she sees you, and then you'll make things worse because you got into a queen's privacy without any permission. Great!
No.
I can't leave her like this.
Never.
I love her! I gotta do something!
I can't leave her helpless and crying like this as every second tares me apart!
I love Elsa!
The only thing Elsa will never know.
No one will ever know.
The sadness hit me, gathering in my throat, not allowing me to breave.
No. Be strong for her. She needs you now.
I cool myself down, and hoped that she won't see me.
-"Why would you cry?" I asked.
She cried a bit and then stopped.
"Elsa?" I repeated as I heard her wiping up the tears.
-"Who are you? What do you want from me?" She asked as polite as always.
-"I want to help you Elsa.
I swear, I won't do you any wrong."
She thought a bit and answered desperately.
-"You can't help me."
-"Why can't I?"
-"Because I am possibly imaging you."
She was quite for a bit while I was a little hurted;
For many I really am not exsist,
But for her I do exsist!
Maybe I exist for her.
That thought floated me with passion again, but her words got me back to reality:
"And because for what I did......
even haven will not forgive."
She shrunk again for the pain that floated her, and cried.
I can't ask her what did she do,
Although I craved to know,
I don't want to hurt her anymore than she is now.
- "I am not from haven but, let me show you otherwise."
- "Can you? Can you save me?" She asked hopefully.
' I don't know Elsa.
But I'll try,
I'll try like it's my last chance to live.
Hell I'll try! ' My heart answered passionfully, while I said darkly of the fact I can't allow her know who I am this moment:
" Close your eyes. "
She did as I said.
I breathed deeply for a second.
I can't believe that I'm doing this.
When I feel it, passion sets me up in worm vibes when the romantic fact that is coming up in front of my eyes is finally visible.
I love her.
And I will show her one day,
One day she will know.
I snuck into the room,
More quiet than the night itself,
Got closer to her beautiful figure, Hesitate for a bit,
Kissed her passionfully on her lips,
And ran away.
I got down the stairs quickly like someone is trying to kill me,
and got into my room immediately.
The moon actually,
can kill me here and now already!
If he gave me a second chance to live, and I spent this opportunity to break his laws, steal my emotions back, love, and kiss the girl that I love,
He can surly be not satisfied with that and kill me any second!
Like running from the "crime scene" will help!
I looked up because I heard sounds of steps on the next floor above me.
Is it him? Or even worse.....
Is it her?!
I saw through the icy ceiling a blurred image of her tiny, gentle feet, that got down of her bed, as she looks for the one she didn't knew that was me.
My breath was taken with stress :
Will she go down here?
Does she knows it was me?!
Suddenly, her feet stopped walking around the room above me, she stood straight for a moment and then I heard her saying:
"Thank you. Whoever you are."
And she came back to sleep with no tears in her eyes.
Happy and safe.
I was petrified.
She said "Thank you"!
She wanted me to help her!
She loves my kiss!
I feel back to bed.
-"Yha! Woah!!!"
I shut my mouth with my hand.
'Are you crazy?!
Keep your mouth shut!
Do you want her to wake up and know it was you who sined like this in front of the moon?!' My brain screamed at me, while I shot up, afraid that she will wake up in such an hour in the middle of the night.
I looked up to the ceiling above me and saw no footsteps.
I let out a sigh.
-"ohhh."
I am soo lucky.
'You sun of a guy.....'
My brain added to my relief.
'What a crazy guy......' I added for myself, and started giggling and then laghting for myself uncontrollably.
I feel great!
I feel soo light....
I'm in love!!!
-"Hahaha!" I laght a little louder but in a way she won't be able to hear me.
I don't believe it!
I actually broke the man in the moon's law!
I have sined!
Oh! Moon I have sined as a guardian,
But I would do it happily over and over again if what I just did calls a sin!
I will become a criminal before you will even know it!
Just for Elsa.
Just to have her in my arms again,
Her body close to mine as our souls are like one,
Just to feel the sweetness of her lips against mine one more time! (and I must say that their touch was up to all my expectations.......)
Just for the knowledge that she feels the same!
I'll do this crime over and over again!
-"Yha!"
I whispered to the moon, putting my hands up for the victory.
'You're such a naughty boy!'
I imagined Elsa saying to me.
I put my hands back on my neck, in an self confidence gesture.
'Yha baby,
I'm on the naughty list this year and you can't stop me!' I replied in my mind, and fell asleep as soon as possible.