I lay in bed next to Dwayne, he told me I needed to leave by 10. I was pissed that I had to get ready so early but I guess that's how it is, I checked the time and saw it said half 7. Last night was something I defo will be remembering, we fucked 3 times in one night and within them 3 times he bussed inside me. Dwayne was 6' 1 black with short hair, he had a girl and a kid. His daughter was bare cute and his girl was super hot, if I was lesbian I'd defo be with her. Why was he cheating on her with me? I checked my phone then saw a few messages from Louis, he wanted to know where I was and what I was doing later. I messaged him and told him to meet me later, he replied almost straight Away and told me he'd pick me up later. I wanted to leave now but I didn't know my way to the train station and Dwayne was sleeping.
I decided I should visit Chloe later since I haven't seen her in awhile, my mum always asked about her but I could never tell her anything about what happened to Chloe. It was embarrassing for her and embarrassing for me, finding out she was a crack head shocked me bare. After taking it once with her and Brooke I thought never again, that shit fucked me up.
****
10:30am.
I waited and waited for Dwayne to wake up, when he finally did he was annoyed that I was still there. He called me a taxi then told me he'd call me later, when I was in the taxi I thought about everything. The taxi driver tried to buss convo with me but I wasn't in the mood for it, I felt so alone if was weird. Like inside just felt completely empty, Louis was a babe and everything but I think I wanted more..
The journey lasted half an hour which made me bare tired. When I got home my mum was in the living room arguing with Ray, she told him
She hated him and wanted him to leave now. He told her to shut up and stop acting childish, I listened to them argue
For a good 20 mins then made my way upstairs. If he didn't fuck me so good I'd tell her to get rid of him...
2:30pm.
I slowly opened my eyes after a long nap, the house was silent which made me feel un ease. I messaged Louis and told him to come round with food, he didn't reply. After a good 20 mins I watched his snapchat, he was in bed with a black girl. I recognised her but I didn't know her that well, I watched it
Over and over again till I placed my phone down and fell back asleep.
**
7:30pm.
I woke up feeling bare awake, I shouldn't have slept so long but I liked being out in the night. I messaged Chloe and told her I'd be round hers around 9, she told me to bring drink. I didn't think that was a good idea but if she wanted it then maybe I should, I jumped in the shower then stayed in it for 30mins. I heard my phone ring a few times and I heard texts, I felt like ghosting from the world but I knew that was a bad idea. I looked in my wardrobe and found my jeans with a white top, I put my heel boots on then went to the mirror to do my makeup and hair. I started contouring my
Face and adding lip liner to make my lips look bigger, I put more mascara on then looked at myself in the mirror. I smiled then made my way downstairs slowly, my mum and Ray was on the chair spooning each other. I was 100% jealous, I needed someone to love me the way he loves my mum. I left the house without saying bye then made my way to the bus stop before I got on the bus I remembered Chloe asked for drink, I spent £25 on drink. She messaged me and asked me where I was :
Me: I'm just getting on the bus b il be there shortly.
Chloe: make sure u get me a proper nice drink, I need to turn up tonight
I stopped messaging her and got on the bus, I walked upstairs slowly then sat at the back of the bus. I put my headphones in then zoned out, I had a long journey on this bus. 20mins into the journey a group of boys got on the bus, I wasn't making eye contact with them but I recognised a few faces. I messaged Louis and told him I missed him bare, he still didn't text me back which made me realise I needed to leave him alone.
***
@chloes.
Once I got to Chloe's she wasn't alone, her brother was there and India was there. I heard her talking on the phone telling ronaldo to come round, I thought it was just me and her having a few drinks. Her brother nodded at me and India said hi, I walked to the kitchen and sat down for a while. I took my jacket off then began to pour myself a drink, Chloe came in the kitchen and sat with me:
Me: I thought it was just us
Chloe: so did I but then India came round to see how I was and then my brother came but he said he wasn't staying long so I told him to stay till everyone comes. And ronaldo is bringing a friend ...
Me: ahh look at me, I look proper skatty. You could of told me to dress up...
Chloe: we ain't going anywhere just staying here it's calm
She laughed then got 4 cups and took them to the living room, India was a pretty girl but she was bad. I heard about her nearly setting up man, everyone talks about India. Her man Is fucking sexy, I wonder why he's with her when he could have me? I laughed to myself then joined everyone else. I took a few sips from the jack Daniels then placed it on the table, Chloe's brother Andre looked at me then smirked. I've always wanted a piece of him but he's wayy to good for me, i checked my phone a few times then put it down. Ronaldo didn't come till 12, when he came he came with a light skin guy. His face looked bare familiar he said hello to everyone then sat beside India, ronaldo kissed Chloe's lips passionately. I was 100% jealous I felt like I needed to settle down now, everyone was either taken or getting into a relationship and I was still opening my legs for every man in London.
Chloe and ronaldo left us all after awhile, I heard talking then they walked upstairs hand in hand. I admire there relationship, he fully cares about her I could tell. India kept messaging someone too cause she couldn't stop smiling, Andre couldn't stop staring at her either which made me realise them two must of been fucking. I decided to make my move to Andre even if it meant I got knocked back:
Me: so what you doing with yourself
Andre: working still ..
He clearly wasn't in the mood to buss convo with me so I stopped it there, I felt so dumb I had to leave. India said she was leaving too so we walked to the bus stop together, as we left Andre grabbed her arm. She gave him one look and he let go, she must of been getting some good dick. Andre was everything I needed:
Me: so what's the deal with you and andreee
India: nothing, we just fucked once or twice
Me: psh it looked more than that in there
India: he's taken and he's got a kid, I'm taken I don't need Andre
Me: hmm...
We exchanged numbers then got on our busses, I put my headphones in again this time to be interrupted by a boy. He was a nice chocolate complexion and he had waves in his hair, he sat right next to me and began to talk. I took my headphones out and listened:
Guy: my names Joel still, I saw you at the bustop with India. I was gunna holla you then but I thought nah, why you with that set up chick anyways
Me: we just came from the same place I don't really know her like that
Joel: stay away from that one b, she's bad.
Me: thanks for the advice
Joel grabbed for my phone then started typing a number in it, he told me to call him any time which gassed me even more. He got off a few stops before me, I couldn't help but watch him walk,he laughed then waved at me.
*****
Next day.
I woke up bare early ready to start college again, I decided to do drama since I was so good at acting. India messaged me and asked me what I was doing today, I didn't reply till after my shower. I could hear my mum and Ray arguing again, which annoyed me. I couldn't be bothered dressing up for college, I wasn't impressing anyone..
Image: holly.