Chapter Twelve: What I Like About You
A huff escapes me as I pull my chair in closer to the small wooden library table, and allow myself to hunch further over my papers. My posture isn't the best, but at least my legs are more comfortable as I cross one of my ankles over the other. The air conditioning that the librarians claim help protect the books during those sweltering school days is now replaced with heat that also is supposed to "protect the books." However, I'm not opposed to any of it since the cold tends to seep right though the windows in the cafeteria, and today happens to be the coldest day to date.
"Aw!"
"Stop doing that!" I hiss because the magic behind Xavier's spontaneous appearances is getting kind of old. The smile on his face, though, tells me he plans to do anything but.
"Well, I was going to say that you came back to the spot where we first met, but I guess you're not in the mood to reminisce." Xavier casually yanks back the chair across from mine, and the glare I send him does nothing to hinder the way his eyebrows wiggle. "So, what are we doing?" Xavier hums as he flops down in the seat in the same way his notebook flops down onto the table in front of him. "Just Max." The afterthought throws a crack in my annoyed façade, and Xavier's wiggling his eyebrows again because he knows.
I shake my head at him before I shake my head down at the papers in front of me. I readjust my grip on my pencil before the paper slips out from underneath my fingertips.
"Whoa"—Xavier cranes his neck back as if the words on the page are going to fly off and attack him—"that's a lot of words. How do you even read that?"
"I don't." I snort before pulling the paper back from him. "It's just how I study."
Over the years I've tried a lot of different study tactics in hopes that I'd find one that worked. Flashcards, acronyms, catchy jingles—you name it. I even tried putting M&M's on paragraphs in textbook pages in attempt to motivate myself to read them, but every time I ended up just eating them all, and getting sugar high opposed to getting high on knowledge. Now my latest and most effective strategy is rewriting material over and over until I feel like my brain actually absorbed it.
"Well that's . . ." Xavier trails off while running a hand over his jaw. "Dedicated."
"Thanks," I mumble as I begin to gather some of the papers that seemed to have precariously scattered across the table.
"So anyway." Xavier taps his fingers against the table a few times. "I'm planning on hanging out with this girl on Friday and—"
"Gonorrhea."
If there was water in Xavier's mouth, he would've spit it out. "What?"
"Chlamydia." I nod.
Now this time I think he actually spits. "Dude—"
"Herpes." I nod again.
"What the f*ck?" he slams his hands on the table, and is reprimanded by the librarian for both his volume, and his choice of words.
I use my hand to muffle my laughter, and Xavier's now the one throwing me a glare once the librarian is out of sight.
"Care to explain," Xavier huffs as he runs a frustrated hand through his hair, and that only makes me laugh harder.
"I'm just trying to remind you of all the possible things you could obtain if you do more than"—I bring my fingers up and curl them into fake quotations—"hang out."
The crease between Xavier's eyebrows gets deeper, and deeper until the realization blinks it's way into his eyes. "That's not what I meant." He runs a hand over his face as something along the lines of frustration and unease washes over it. "I actually just wanted . . . your advice."
My eyes are as wide as the librarians the second another profanity is thrown out across the room, but Xavier's back to his usual smug self.
"I am pretty surprised your mind immediately went to sex, though."
I'm sure my face is as white as the snow that has yet to fall outside, but it's only a matter of time before I'll be helping my parents shovel the driveway. As of now, I need to shovel my way out of this conversation.
"But I don't know if I should be disappointed or flattered at the fact that you assumed I'd be having it."
Or maybe, I should get a head start on shoveling my grave. Or finally stab my eyeball out with my pencil, so I don't have to stare at the amusement coating his face.
"Well, I—" I start, but my hands are soon mimicking the disarray inside my head. "I wasn't sure what you meant by "hanging out" because now a day's people say things, but they actually mean other things and I—" I clamp my lips shut the second I realize that with each word I continue to spew out, his lips only curve higher, and higher. "Can we change the subject."
"Hey." Xavier throws his hands up. "I'm not judging."
My lips draw together in disbelief, but I decide to change the subject myself. "So why do you need my advice?"
"Well!" Xavier abruptly claps his hands before rubbing them together as if his leather jacket isn't keeping him warm enough. "The girl that I want to hang out with is a little different than the girls I normally talk to. She seems more . . . like you." He clasps a hand around the back of his neck, and throws in another afterthought. "Or at least she seems like it."
My face only continues to scrunch together. "You've never spoken to her?"
"Yes." Xavier immediately replies before he backpedals again. "I mean, no—yes and no."
My lips curl together as my expression becomes a mix between curiosity and amusement. "Well, which one is it?"
Xavier shrugs. "She doesn't go to our school, so we haven't had a real conversation yet."
"Oh." I nod as I tuck a stand of hair behind my ear.
Xavier continues to drum his fingers against the cover of his notebook before he leans forward. "What qualities do you look for in a guy?"
I find myself instinctively leaning back in my chair. My lid has been cracked, but I don't know if I'm ready to spill all the beans yet.
"I promise I won't tell anyone," Xavier says, halfheartedly throwing his hands up by keeping his wrist glued down to the table. "Well, maybe my dog." Another afterthought that is followed by yet another grin.
Maybe it's because he said he's listening. Maybe it's because of all the stuff he told me about him and Ryan the other day. Or maybe it's the plain old puppy dog plea in his eyes that I've never seen before. I don't know. But I do find my mouth opening as I attempt to gather my minimal, yet completely fictional bias on the male species.
"I guess—I don't know." A sigh escapes me as I run a shaky hand through my hair. "Every girl wants a guy that's smart and nice, maybe even a little funny, but at the same time I don't really talk to guys that often, so I can't really say I'm that picky. Actually"—I hold my finger up—"As long as a guy is decent enough to want to be more like friends, and have normal conversations, and not just in it for the other things that we mentioned earlier, then I guess that's all I can really ask for." I shrug in attempt to downgrade my ramble, but when I finally pass a glance back over at the Cassidy boy turned inquisitor, I can honestly say that I think I'm the first person to ever stun Xavier Cassidy into silence.
"Well . . . " He clears his throat as he slowly slides his hands against the table until they comfortably fall into his lap. "Cool."
"Cool?" I reiterate because after all that I wasn't expecting such a generic response.
"Yeah, cool." A small smile stretches across his lips. "I guess I'm considered a decent guy since we're having somewhat of an actual conversation right now."
A smile breaks out across my face before I can stop it. Ever since I met Xavier Cassidy, in this very spot in the library, he always seems to have a way of turning things around. Turning what has the potential to be an awkward situation into something casual all by stringing together a few words.
"Yeah." I mockingly snort again as I pick my pencil back up. "I guess you are."
"You guess?" Xavier hisses before he picks up his notebook, and pretends to whack me with it before slumping back down in his chair. "All right, well, what do you guess is your ideal first date?"
"Well," I mimic his light tone. "I bet you can guess that it's nothing extravagant." I shrug as I tap my pencil against the table. "Going out to see a movie, going out for a cup of hot chocolate—maybe even just going out to get a cheeseburger. I don't know." I'm smiling by the time I finish the sentence, and am once again shrugging in attempt to play it off, but Xavier doesn't hesitate in mirroring the expression.
"I usually try for something a little more memorable, but . . ."
Now I'm the one pretending to throw my pencil at him, and he even throws in a mock flinch before laughing.
"Okay, so I just have one more question." Xavier holds the number up with his finger. "So, by which date would you say it's"—he waves his hand around as if searching for the right word—"Appropriate for a guy to ask you to be his girlfriend?"
"It depends." My face scrunches up.
"On what?" Xavier spits the words out before he's back to waving his hands around. "I'm just wondering so I don't scare this girl away."
"Well . . . " I move my lips from side to side. "I think it depends on how long you've known the person and how comfortable you both feel."
Xavier only silently nods in response to my words, and I find myself leaning back in my seat, and folding my arms across my chest.
"What makes you assume you'll get another date?"
The question seems to snap Xavier back into reality, and he's all too prepared to mimic my amusement. "I just do, just Max."
I shake my head at the ceiling. "I'm never going to live that down, am I?"
"Nope." Xavier chuckles even though I wasn't really asking for a response. "But seriously—just Max."
The glare I send him is enough to clamp his mouth shut, but not harsh enough to stop him from smiling like a sheepish child.
"Just out of curiosity." He throws his hands up as another white flag. "If a guy liked you, would you want him to tell you?"
"I—" My mouth opens and closes for a few seconds as I try to find the right words. "Of course, I would want him to, but considering I've never had the guts to ever tell a guy I like him, I can't really expect you guys to do the same. I mean," I pause to pick up my pencil back up, and point it at Xavier like an interrogation light. "Have you ever straight up told a girl that you liked her?"
"I have, actually." He looks too smug for his own good, but pencil still falls from my hand, and clatters against the table.
"You have?"
It only takes a second for the façade to break as he flashes me with another sheepish smile. "I may have been under the influence of alcohol."
"That doesn't count." My gaze finds the ceiling again halfway through my halfhearted eyeroll. "Plus, you wouldn't be asking for my advice right now if you could've just gone up to that girl, and for the record!" I clamp my lips shut when I receive a quick glare from the librarian, and quickly hunch over the table again to expel a rapid whisper. "Just because you think this girl is a little different doesn't mean anything. All you have to do is talk to her, you know?"
"I can't." He hisses as he mirrors my posture.
"Why not?"
"Because—" He ping pongs his head between the people occupying the tables around us before continuing,"the only reason I know she doesn't go to this school is because the only time I've seen her is at . . . the mall."
My eyebrows shoot up to my hairline. "The mall?"
"Yes." He snaps his finger with a smile. "She works at Target in the mall."
"So, your sort of conversation was her helping you find something?"
"Yes, exactly!" Xavier swipes his notebook up before dramatically slamming it back down on the table. "But now, thanks to you, I know how to approach her without being creepy."
My laughter is immediate. "Okay."
The bell covers the rest of my chuckles as it signals the end of the period. I pile my papers together and slip them inside my homework folder before slipping my folder into my bag. I turn back around only to find a black iPhone lying on the table in front of me with the screen to add a new contact open. My eyes flicker back up to Xavier's and he smiles back at me as if already sensing my apprehension.
"Just in case I need more advice. " He seems reluctant to tilt his head to the side, but still completes the motion. "Or I will update you on my epic failure."
I fight the urge to snort again by smiling instead as I tentatively pick up his phone. I slide the phone back over to him when I'm finished adding my contact, and pick my bag up off the floor.
"All right, well I guess I'll see you later." Xavier stands up, pockets his phone, and sends me a wink. "Just Max."
There's no holding back my eyeroll this time, and I'm left with the echo of Xavier's chuckles as we exit the library.
As I walk to my next class all the emotions that passed over Xavier's face flash through my head, and only one thought seems to come to mind. A thought that I never would've believed in a million years.
Xavier likes a girl.