C O N N O R
"Holy shit." My eyes fight to open and I feel around me for my phone. What time is it? I can feel the sun as it streams though my bedroom window. This is my bedroom right? My suspicions are confirmed when my eyes finally adjust. My comforter is draped over my body lazily and my clothes smell like sour milk. I close my eyes and try to come up with an answer to why my head is pounding and why I slept with my shoes on.
The party.
I groan in pain as I try to recall the events of last night. The only thing that seems to be real is the hour I spent before getting ready. I run a hand throw my hair and sit up slowly. My usually soft locks are coated in sweat and grim, it's not like me to get it dirty. Slowly I make my way to my bedroom door, opening it quietly and walking down the hall to the kitchen. My mom is sitting at the dinning room table when I enter.
"Good morning mom." I say, yawning as I reach for the fridge. I hear a huff and wood against tile.
"Connor." The normal sweet motherly tone I've just gotten back is gone and replaced by a colder one.
"Uh...are you feeling okay?" I ask, turning to watch her as she pulls out a glass.
"Yes, I'm perfectly fine. Are you feeling okay?" Besides the pounding sensation and the urge to puke, yes I am.
"Yeah, I'm good." She finally looks at me and my heart drops at her fierce glare.
"Oh really? Because I've always found hangovers horrible." My eyes widen and I avert them quickly. Shit. "Do you know what else is horrible? Having your son dropped off at four in the morning, unconscious." She slams the glass down in the sink before feeling it up with water.
"I'm sorry." I mumble and she growls under her breathe. Who the hell brought me home?
"I just don't get it Connor. You just got your hearing back and here you are, partying and getting wasted with boys I've never even met before!" I raise my gaze to her and she gives me a questioning look.
"I said sorry. I wasn't planning on getting drunk." She rolls her eyes before reaching behind me into the medicine cabinet.
"Oh sure honey. Who threw this party anyway?" I open my mouth to answer her but fall short. Who threw the party again? "You've got to be kidding me Connor. You don't even know who's party it was?"
"I mean, I did." She hands me the glass and a couple Tylenol.
"Cause that makes me feel better." She grumbles and I sigh.
"Mom-"
"Don't," She raises and hand, her eyes closed. I know better then to speak. "Just go to your room. We'll talk about this later when your head doesn't feel like it's about to explode." I nod gratefully and drain my water. On the short walk back to my bedroom I think of how amazing my mom is. Despite being scared shitless and feeling horrible she's still worried about how bad my head hurts. Mom's are great. When I open my door I look around. Everything looks the same, besides my blankets in the floor and my phone laying next to them. I walk towards it, unlocking the screen to find 5 missed calls and 11 missed messages.
Troye The Boy:
11:45 pm: Connor I'm so sorry...
11:56 pm: Please answer me.
12:08 am: I've looked everywhere for you, where are you?
12:26 am: Connor I'm scared, please answer my calls.
12:43 am: I can explain just tell me where you are. Did you go home?
1 am: all the lights are off, I'm going home now. please answer me...
1:10 am: connor...please.
1:14 am: I'm coming over tomorrow.
At this message I begin to panic. What is he apologizing for? What happened? His next three messages aren't to helpful.
1:26 am: I promise you that it's not what you think.
1:32 am: can we talk about this?
1:47 am: Connor?
I sit down my phone with a sigh. I have absolutely no idea what happened last night. Im scared...I don't want to know what Troye did to get me so angry, especially when he's leaving so soon. All I know is that I need a shower and that I do not want to see Troye. I'm nervous and I don't want to be angry with him, it's better not knowing. I start the hot water before walking to the kitchen again.
"Mom?" She looks up from her newspaper.
"Aren't you supposed to be in your room?" She snaps and I sigh again.
"Yes, but can you do me a favor?" Before she can object it I continue. "If Troye comes around, don't let him in. Please?" She gives me a questioning glare.
"Why not? Are you fighting?" I scratch the back of my neck awkwardly.
"I don't exactly know. All I have is a bunch of sorry messages and a nagging feeling that I should be pissed."
"Mind you language Connor." She warns but her glare softens. "But, you have my word. I won't let him in." I smile in relief.
"Thanks mom."
"It's fine. Just go back to your room." I nod and turn into the bathroom, stripping bare before clappering in under the steamy water. Are Troye and I really fighting? Three days before he leaves me? What could of been so bad that he felt it necessary to text me 11 times begging for forgiveness? Leaning my head against the tile I try to recall the events of last night.
I remember picking out my outfit with much difficulty, then getting into Troyes car. He obviously went, although he was never to thrilled about it. Even when Caspar first brought it up- WAIT! Caspar! He threw the party for Troye! I grin in excitement before closing my eyes again. I remember getting in and him looking ravishing. Then we got there and he was nervous, that being his first party. I smile at the memory. Then I...then...
I groan in frustration as I try to remember. My heads subsided a bit but it's still painful. Let's try this again; I walked in...and I was holding Troyes hand... Damnit. I can't remember anything after that point. What do you usually do when your forget something? Retrace your steps? I've already done that and I still come up empty. I turn off the water after having thoroughly washed myself. I open the bathroom door just in time to hear,
"I'm sorry. He doesn't want to talk right now." That's my mom.
"Please Mrs. Franta. I really need to talk with him." And that's Troye, pleading. I hurriedly walk into my room so I don't have to hear anymore. He sounded so sad, so hurt. Did I do that? What happened? I feel like crying or throwing myself out a window. I get dressed in a pair of sweat pants, a hoodie, and my grey beanie that I just got back from Troye on Thursday. He's obsessed with it. After I see that Troyes safely in his house I go down stairs.
"Mom? I'm going to the coffee shop down the street." I call, grabbing my wallet off of the hall counter.
"Good one Connor. You're not going anywhere." I groan but she just approaches me with her arms crossed.
"Please? I desperately need some coffee and were out." She gives me a doubtful look and I press on. "I'll be back in a flash, I promise." She sighs and I know I've won.
"I guess bu-"
"Thanks mom! Love you." I kiss her on the cheek before running out the front door. I don't want to give her time to change her mind. The walk there is hot and lonely, but the air conditioned building and the smell of fresh coffee makes up for it.
"What can I get you?" A boy behind the counter says. I order my usual frappe. "For here or to go?" I ponder over this for a second before deciding to take it to go. My mom will kill me other wise.
"To go." He nods.
"That'll be 3.23 please." He says and I hand him the cash. "Your order will be up in a second." I thank him and stand on the side line until my orders called.
"Thank you, come again." The girl who hands me my drink says and I smile in response before exiting the building. My feet begin to carry me back towards the prison I call my home, the concrete burning my skin through the soles of my chucks.
I'm slowly getting little flashes of the night, Alfie's face and the dim lights. I remember sending Troye off to get some punch and then everything goes black. I have a feeling that the next thing I remember isn't going to be good, maybe I'm suppressing it because I don't want to be mad. Mayb-
"Connah!" I freeze in my tracks when I hear the familiar Australian accent. Picking up my pace again I ignore his pleading voice. I don't make it to far before my arms being grabbed and I'm being spun around. "Please....just listen....to me." He says in between tired breaths. Troyes never been one to be active.
"What? I have to get home before my mom kills me." I snap and he looks at the ground guiltily.
"I'm sorry." I barely hear him, he sounds so scared. "It didn't mean anything I promise." I take a deep breathe before opening my mouth nervously. This is it, the moment I find out why I should be hating my favorite person.
"What didn't mean anything?" He looks up at me shocked before giving me a confused look.
"You...y-you don't remember?" He asks and I shake my head.
"No." He laughs airily and I'm almost offended before I see the tears that stream down his face silently.
"Oh my god. I'm going to have to tell you aren't I?"
"Yeah, that'd be nice." I mumble and he looks at me dead in the eye.
"You can't freak out." He says and I laugh.
"Troye, you've told me far worse things I'm sure." I say but the way he's looking at me makes me anxious. Can it get worse?
"Okay...so do you remember when I left you at the party?" He asks and I get another flash. Caspar giving me a hug. I nod. "Well, I went into the kitchen." Caspar pointing to the stairs and me walking towards them warily.
"And?" The hallway being deserted, opening the first door.
"Tyler came in and made me a drink." He says but he won't meet my eyes. "He put something in it that wasn't supposed to be there and I begin to forget simple things. Like where I was and who I came with." My eyes widen. Tyler drugged him.
"He...he drugged you?" Troye nods. Finding Dan and Phil on the spare bed.
"Yeah. Then we...we went upstairs." I choke on air and take a step back. No no no this can't be happening. Opening the bathroom door to find it empty. "By this time I was seeing shit and totally out of it. Tyler was able to convince me that I was there with him." Opening the door to find my enemy and my boyfriend sucking face. "He then started to-"
"Stop!" I choke out. Then I yelled at them and got wasted. "I-I remember now I don't need the details." I should of suppressed the stupid memories and hid in my room forever. Now my hearts shattering and I can't breathe. Tyler's gotten further with my boyfriend then I have, and that hurts. My Troye...mine. Now Tyler has tasted him, and although this sounds selfish, I hate it. Only in supposed to kiss him like that. Only I'm supposed to touch him, not Tyler.
"Connor I'm so so sorry! You have to understand that I didn't know what was happening!" I just stare at the floor, trying to comprehend what he's saying and how I'm feeling at the same time.
Am I angry or sad? Do I yell or do I cry? Tyler has taken something from me that I can never get back. He's taken the time I have left with the boy I love and has turned it into a mix of apologies and heartbreak. All because he has a petty crush on Joe. I'll get him for this. In the worst way possible.
"Please say something." Troye whimpers and I say the first thing that comes to mind.
"I'm going to kill him." I finally meet Troyes gaze to find his shocked expression.
"What? Who?"
"Who the fuck else Troye?" I screech and he winces.
"Please Connah. Calm-"
"No! I will not 'calm down.'" I say, sarcastically making air quotes with my fingers although they look deformed around my coffee. I throw the cup against the sidewalk.
"Con-"
"You don't understand." I say, shaking my head angrily. "This...this idiot touched you!" I take a step towards him. "He ran his fingers through your hair and put his tongue in your mouth," I pull on his shirt roughly. "He got you out of your clothes and touched you were I haven't even touched you yet." I whisper aggressively and he lets more tears slide down his face.
"C-Con nothing like that happened. We just kissed."
"It doesn't matter Troye." I say, taking a step back from him and sighing. "I need to get home."
"B-but are we okay?" He asks and I scoff.
"Far from it." Spinning on my heels I start to walk away.
"It wasn't even my fault though!" He shouts and I turn around, sending him a hard glare.
"You shouldn't of accepted the drink." I say simply.
"So your saying it is?" I nod.
"Pretty much. I mean, come on Troye. When has Tyler every been nice or helpful? You should of saw it coming." He growls at me.
"So your saying that because I'm not a fucking detective and because I like to see the good in people that it's my fault I got drugged?"
"Seeing the good in him? How- you know what. I don't care." I turn back around and fast walk away, ignoring his shouts after me.
----
*time skip to Monday*
I sigh as I fix my hair and grab my bag. I haven't spoken with Troye sense Saturday and he's getting pathetic. I literally had to turn my phone off and he won't stop coming over. In short, my entire family is irritated and I'm on house arrest so I can't even leave. I make my way to my moms car and get in. I purposely woke up late so I don't have to sit through first hour, or see Troye. We arrive at the building right as the dreaded class ends and I watch as everyone rushes to second hour. I say goodbye to my mom and hurry into the double doors.
Everyone pushes and shoves each other and even through all my hate I can't help but worry about Troye. He hates crowds. I walk towards my locker, looking up to see a short figure leaning against it and I approach it warily. It's to early for this.
"Connor!" Tyler yells and I stare at him angrily.
"Nows not the time Tyler. Just stay away from me." I say and he moves so I can open my locker.
"Please, just listen to me. I'm sorry about what happened. I shouldn't of done what I did and I feel really bad." I slam the door shut and look at him.
"Okay. Now if you'll excuse me-"
"Wait! I..just please don't be mad at Troye." My eyes shoot to his sorry face.
"What did you just say?" I'm hoping he'll take the hint and just drop the whole thing. I can't stay calm forever.
"I'm just saying that he didn't do anything wrong. Troyes a-" I grab him by the collar and shove him against the cold metal.
"Don't you ever say my boys name again. Ever. Don't talk to him, don't go around him, and don't even think about touching him. Or I will rip your fucking head off. Got that?" I spit in his face and he stares at me wide eyed. It doesn't last long before his cocky nature takes over again though.
"Oh yeah? You and what army, Connie." My fist connects with his jaw so quickly that I don't even realize it's mine until it's coming back again. I hit him repeatedly until he's on the floor and I'm sitting on top of him. I continue to punch until the janitor pulls me off and then I'm still yelling profanities as he drags me to the office. There's only one coherent thought filtering my mind as my mom picks me up.
I should of hit harder.
---
A/N
WHAAAAALE that was intense. Only a few chapters left!
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