I Write Sins, Not Tragedies
Chapter Eighteen: Fate Has A Way Of Showing His Ugly Face
"Jasper!" I managed to choke out in shock while he had sunk his teeth deep into my new with a sharp, stabbing pain. The look in his black eyes was wild and beyond reason. Never in my life had I ever felt as scared as in that moment. Even though I knew that my efforts would be in vain, I pleaded desperately, fighting the tears from leaking from my eyes. "Jasper, please stop. Please."
The only response that I had heard from him was a deep rabid growl, and I knew that this wasn't the Jasper I had grown to love anymore; this was the predator that was within him, hidden within all of the Cullen. This had been what Emmett was trying to protect me from.
Jasper closed his grasp on me tighter and I could feel the life being sucked away from me. The edges of my vision had gone dark and blurry and the way I was hearing my surroundings had gone distant. I had barely heard the front door slam open as Alice and Edward arrived home.
Edward sprinted forward so fast that I had only seen him appear above Jasper, tearing him away from where he had his mouth locked onto my neck. Edward's voice was sympathetic and filled with agony. "Oh no, Jasper, what have you done.."
Jasper was fighting hard again his brother, his eyes still locked onto me like a lion eyes his prey. There was no emotion that filled him now, it was only thirst that drove him now.
Alice had come over to me, lifting me up in her arms, carrying me out of Jasper's reach so that he could get a hold on himself. Alice's face was somber, and she looked as if she were about to cry; she didn't say a word to me, trying to get me out of the room as fast as she could.
It was only when she had laid me down in the bed that it really hit me. I had never felt pain like this before. My blood had turned to acid, my entire body screamed out in agony. I wanted to scream, I wanted to cry out, but I couldn't move. I didn't have control over my body anymore. As a sudden wave of it hit me, I bit down on my tongue too hard, causing more blood to pour into my mouth.
Alice leaned me over so I could spit it out, "I'm so sorry, Mary." Alice held my hand and kept the her cold skin against mine, trying anything to keep me comfortable. "I know it hurts." It was clear that she had no clue what to do and neither more knew what to say, she simply looked on in terror as the burning pain had reached my eyes.
I heard Edward's voice announce his approach. "Alice, go. Jasper needs you." There was no emotion in him, he was solemn and empty.
I felt her hand leave mine, but not before one last apologetic squeeze, telling me that she had left the room. I had felt a larger hand take her place, Edward's. I had felt sorry for him in those moments, sorry that he had to hear my thoughts, and sorry that he had to endure the pain along with me. However, selfish as it seemed, I was glad he stayed there with me, glad to not be alone.
Edward seemed just as unsure as Alice in what to do, simply quieting me down every time that I screamed, telling me that it would be over with soon. How soon was soon? It had only been minutes lying here and it had felt like an eternity.
Kill me, Edward. I thought to him, knowing he was tuned in. Please, just kill me.
Edward gave me a tortured look, and I knew that he wasn't going to grant me my request. No one in this family was going to kill me, and I had felt pain at that. They loved me too much to end my pain, but not enough to stop it. Would no one show me any mercy.
I couldn't tell you what amount of time had passed before Carlisle and the other's had made it home, but I can tell you that it wasn't soon enough.
It was Carlisle that shared the bad news. "The venom is too far in her system, there is no way to reverse it." He spoke to Edward, Rosalie, and Emmett who loyally stayed by my bedside. I couldn't read the expressions on their faces, all of them were empty and solemn.
Rosalie rested herself down on the bed next to me, comforting my searing skin with her icy body. They had felt even colder to me now. She didn't say much to me, only petting my black curls with her pale hand absentmindedly. None of them spoke to me, and none of them spoke to each other.
I had tried to give Edward some relief, as he was the one who was suffering the most, hearing the agonizing thoughts that were shooting through my brain. I could see the pain each of them had caused and it made me feel guilty. I tried to keep my mind on pointless things like sights and sounds, but it was hard to ignore what was really happening to me.
I was becoming what I dreaded, I was becoming a vampire.
After what had felt like ages, I had noticed that the pain had started to fade away from my fingers and toes, and away from the outer edges of my body. However as it did so, the pain become more intense around my heart, it was telling me that I was nearing the end, nearing the point that my heard would cease to beat along with humanity. I would be dead.
At the last sprint of the transformation, there was a single stabbing pain that was more intense than all the others, and it was over. My heart stood still and everything was gone, all the pain and all the terror. It had disappeared with my now dead heart.
It was then that I heard the first voice in three days. Jasper was willed with torture and there was no disguising it in his tone as he requested for the three of them to leave the room. "I need a moment to speak to her, if you don't mind. Alone."
I felt the bed shift and Rosalie's weight leave it and I heard Edward sit up from the chair obediently. Emmett, though, didn't remove his hand from mine. Edward spoke firmly to him in warning. "Emmett.." There was a silence and I could simply picture the looks that were being shared between them. Eventually Emmett stood up, but there was a detectable reluctance to it.
I waited until I heard the door shut firmly and Edward announce to Carlisle, Esme, and Alice who were waiting anxiously below that I was awake and I had made it through okay.
When u had opened my eyes, I gasped. Everything was crystal clear, I could see ever tint of color and every particle that floated through the air around me. When I inhaled I watched as they entered and exited my mouth in a ballet.
Jasper gave an awkward chuckle. Startled, I wheeled around to look at him, taken aback by my new found speed. Jasper was so much more beautiful than I remembered now that I could really see him in all his glory. His golden hair seemed to have more of a sparkle to it now. In his eyes were the tiniest speckles of reddish tint.
There was a burning in the bottom of my throat now that I was trying to ignore. My mind was bouncing around in a million different directions and I wasn't sure when it would stop and stay on a steady thought.
Jasper took hold of my hand and sent me a wave of his emotion. There was no mistaking it; sorrow and guilt filled me just before he pulled it out and spoke. "Mary, I am so so soo sorry for this...I...I..."
Jasper was clearly at a loss for words. How exactly do you apologize for attacking someone and turning them into a vampire? I answered him by placing my other hand on his reassuringly. "Jasper, it's okay, I'm not mad at you. It was an accident, you didn't mean this."
"You didn't want this life, Mary, and its my fault..."
I held up a hand, "Shh! Not another word."
"Its true." Jasper persisted.
"What happened happened. There is no point in lulling around in guilt and blame." I answered firmly closing that door on him. "I'm not going to sit back and let you blame yourself for what was clearly fate's way of rearing his ugly head." With that being said, I shot him a reassuring smile and then wrapped my arms around him, pulling him into a hug.
I was genuinely surprised when he answered by returning it with a laugh. "I suppose this is a strange way to say 'Welcome to the Family'." We pulled apart and shared a laugh.
With all apologies and explanations behind us, Jasper helped me off the bed and led me to the door to head downstairs where everyone was waiting for me anxiously. I didn't bother to take my time, with my new super speed I darted in front of him and shot like a torpedo down the stairs. I had managed to stop myself just before I ran straight into the sofa in the family room.
Esme was the first to greet me, wrapped her arms around me in a tight affectionate hug with I gladly returned. "It is good to see that you are alright, Mary."
Carlisle patted me on the back, "Yes it is."
I had felt Alice's excited iron grasp attack me from the side, nearly knocking me to the ground. "What's cookin' good lookin'?" Alice laughed and turned me around, making me face the reflection in the mirror on the opposite wall.
I was amazed at what I saw. I barely looked like me anymore, I now had the same hard, white, marble skin as the rest of the Cullens. My hair was like cascading black silk, each curl carefully and perfectly crafted on my head. The only difference in my appearance and that of everyone else was that my eyes were solid black, with the slightest red edges. That was strange.
Edward caught my thoughts, explaining them with my favorite crooked smile. His mood was much lighter now, a lot better than I had seen him the last few days. "Those will change, Mary, as you adjust to our diet. It may take a few months." Edward came forward, placing a kiss on my hair; he spoke again when he pulled away. "I'm glad to see you're okay."
I smiled up at him.
Emmett ignored everyone else's mannerly and tactful greetings, hoisting me off the ground and crushing me into his arms. When he finally sat me back down on my feet, he was grinning. This had been the happiest I had ever seen him. Emmett placed his fingers under my chin, lifting my face up to meet his eyes, "You look absolutely lovely, Mary."
I blushed, or actually now, I did whatever it was that vampires do. Certainly no color rushed to my cheeks. I dejected my gaze, but then remembered someone else that was in the room. I turned around to look for my best friend, but Rosalie was hovering in the corner, her mood still very dim.
She seemed to only speak because she noticed my gaze on her, her voice was dull and empty. "I'm glad you came through okay, Mary." There was something in her voice, I noticed. Her tone seemed a little too forcefully polite.
With what she had to being said, she tore away from the room, stalking to hers upstairs away from us all. I watched her walk away, slightly hurt and offended. What the hell was her problem?
No one looked up, and no one looked at each other or me. I clearly was not the only one who noticed that there was something wrong about her. Edward was the first to bother explaining, bending down and whispering into my left ear reassuringly. "She's not mad at you, Mary. She just...isn't exactly comfortable with all this yet. Just give it some time, she'll get used to it."
"I hope." I mumbled back, my mood a little dimmed.
Emmett clutched my hand in distraction, speaking to me now as to pull my mind away from her. "We should get you fed, Mary." Emmett lifted me over his shoulder and I let out a little playful shriek. "Come on, I'll show you how it's done."