I wasn't exactly the strongest cadet. I couldn't knock down a man one foot taller than myself with a kick of my leg, nor could I leave a man scared out of his wits with an intimidating stare.
I would simply lift my hair up out of my eyes and avert my glance downwards, shaking my head whenever one would challenge me to a "friendly" arm wrestle.
I wasn't exactly phased by the idea of combat as much as the other cadets.
Nothing particularly caught my interest so much that it deserved my attention.
Though often, I would find my eyes fixated on the one boy I seemed to bond with the most: Marco Bodt. The boy that would save me a piece of bread and try his best to do so without any other cadets noticing. The guy that broke up the (one of many) verbal (and sometimes physical) disputes between rivals Eren Jäeger and Jean Kirstein.
The boy that was always seen smiling, chucking, with a freckled hand covering his mouth.
There was something about him that I liked. He was humble, considerate, and not too eccentric like the others.
Some evenings were spent exchanging awkward glances at one another from across the boisterous dinner hall. The never ending noise would always consist of combinations of voices, bursting with contrasting personalities shouting at each other in an attempt to prove themselves loudest, cutlery smashing harshly against their soup plates, cadets bickering about who would get the last piece of food, and from time to time, laughter erupting from different tables.
All that noise seemed to disappear when I looked at him however, leaving me obliviously swirling my spoon around my soup, imagining just what was Marco Bodt thinking about.
Occasionally I would hear the freckled boy's laughter upon sitting next to his charismatic companion, Jean Kirstein. I would watch as the lighter haired male would slap him playfully on the back of his head, causing the drink in his hand to spill and stain the circumference of his mouth.
"Hey!" I heard him shout.
This only caused me to giggle, to which my cadet friends questioned me about.
Some nights long after curfew, we'd whisper in the darkness about what guy we took a liking to the most.
"That Tomas guy is pretty cute!"
"Ew, no way!"
When it was my turn to speak, I tried my hardest not to give him away. I only gave them subtle hints, earning a chorus of "Oooh!"s.
I was blushing madly just at the though of the man, but to my advantage, the absence of light in the room of course hid this.
One night, after a long and soul-destroying day of training, my feet began to hurt so much that I decided to remove my boots and walk down the path to my barracks barefoot. Mikasa and Sasha had decided to hang out elsewhere after telling them I was too tired to go anywhere else but to bed.
I assumed that the other girls in my barracks were in the mess hall, finishing off their given meals for today.
The air was calm tonight, with a cluster of stars dotted in the violet sky. It wasn't much of a rarity to see this. However, my head stayed tilted above me as one foot stood in front of the other.
BUMP.
I found myself on the ground, a mild pain throbbing at my head. Regaining my bearings, I stood up to find a tall, vigorous, man with dark parted hair and familiar chocolate brown eyes staring back at me.
"(Y/N)! I'm so sorry!" He said.
"Marco?" I laughed out of nervousness.
"S-sorry, didn't see you there. I'm so clumsy..." He stuttered, a hand rubbing behind his neck.
"Don't worry about it. Accidents happen. After all, it's dark out, so how could you have seen me?" I manage to say, brushing some dirt off my jacket that had accumulated from the fall.
"I guess you're right. So what are you doing out here all alone?" He asks me gently.
"Well, I was feeling tired after today so I was heading back to get some sleep. What about you?" I say.
"The guys are all telling ghost stories outside my barracks. Not really my thing, y'know? So I decided to take a little stroll, look up at the stars, a-and then I bumped into you." He tells me.
"Well, you're not alone. Things like that creep me out," I tell him, laughing lightly.
"Although, I don't believe in ghosts."
"Yeah... Me either. A-anyway, could I come with you to your barracks? I-I know we're not exactly allowed to but... I really want to spend some time with you and just talk to you. Curfew isn't until 2 hours, right?" Marco says, his eyes locking onto mine.
Not entirely sure how to respond, a simple
"Sounds good." comes out my mouth with a smile.
---
Just as I expected, nobody here.
I set my leather boots next to the rim of my shared bottom bunk out of harm's way and place a dimly lit candle by the old bedside table, enough to light up the room so that we can see eachother.
Sitting cross legged on the bed, I watch as Marco also removes his boots, admiring his well built thighs and long legs from behind as he does so.
Shaking his broad shoulders, his military jacket falls off his body and into his hands, the iconic sword trainee emblem barely visible in the weak light.
He places his slightly larger, more worn boots next to mine and his jacket on top before sitting opposite of me on the large bed.
We engage in small talk for a few minutes until Marco changes the subject.
"(Y/N), I want to know what your hopes and fears are." He asks me, his voice hinting seriousness.
"My hopes and fears?"
He nods at my response.
"I guess I've always hoped for a better life, really. I want to join the Garrison Regiment. I know for a fact that I'm not gonna make it into the Top 10.
My fears? I have a lot of fears.
I fear solitude, but I don't fear death." I tell him.
"It's not like I'm not prepared to die. But what are we dying for exactly?" I finish.
Marco's eyes widen at my speech.
"Yeah. I know exactly what you mean." He says solemnly, barely audible.
"But you'll be okay, Marco. You're strong. I've seen you out there. Heck, you could make it into the Top 10 at first place without even trying."
I tell him truthfully, leaning my body over so I can place a hand over his.
"Jean's always teasing me." He says bashfully, a tint of pink
in his cheeks.
"Huh?"
"I can't focus anymore, (Y/N)."
He tells me quietly, with a loud heave of breath.
"What do you mean?" I ask, confused.
"Because I'm in love with you."
And there he said it. Just like that. The dim lighted room suddenly started to spin and I found myself staring with my lips parted at the freckled boy before me. I released my hand which was placed atop of his, watching as his brown eyes lowered down to my lips before looking back up at me.
"Do you feel the same way?" He utters.
Without another word, I spring myself onto him whilst kneeling. Gripping my hand onto the belt fixated on his chest, I loosen the other various attached leather straps around his body. He holds the back of my head, entangling his fingers between my hair as his tongue slips into mine, and I begin to unbutton his white shirt. The belt becomes unbuckled instantly then, and the white clothing hangs just off his shoulder blades, exposing the top of his muscular freckled chest. I dance the tips of my fingers down his neck and torso and watch as his hands roughly remove my brown jacket, copying my actions towards detaching my own straps.
I turn my head and chuckle in embarrassment in the space between his legs as he struggles to yank down the material.
"They have to make these darn things so hard to come off, don't they. Come on, you stu-" He says, but is stopped in his speech as my uniform slowly falls off my body, the sounds of clinking from the belts as they fall to the wooden ground only silencing the room once more.
I reluctantly and slowly unclip my bra. Following the direction of the man's eyes, I blush.
I expected him to ask for my permission first, being the sweet and seemingly innocent
guy he was, but was taken aback by the cold sensation of both his hands touching my skin.
I closed my eyes, feeling the reddening of my cheeks beginning to intensify but he only chuckled at this.
"You're so cute..." He breathes.
I kiss him again, my shaking hand cupping one side of his handsome face. I leave the softest butterfly kisses down from his lightly freckled neck to his heavily freckled chest, where I eliminate the remaining buttons of his white shirt and unzip his matching white pants and undergarments.
"No fair..." He whispers, eyes on mine as he places both hands on my hips and effortlessly slides mine off too in a swift motion. Clink. The straps hit the floor, and the room is filled with hushed moans and breathlessness.
I move my hips in sync with his, one hand pressed onto his abs, leaning my body down to connect with a passionate kiss as we make love.
D-don't stop.
I'm gonna... (Y/N)!
Time
seems
to
be
non
existent.
I'm unable to tell how long has passed since we've been like this.
I never want it to end...
The feeling of his lips on my neck, my breasts, my waist, my inner thighs, making eye contact after each peck.
The sounds of his soft moans push me over the bend, and I watch as his eyes flutter open and shut, my fingers spread on his heated thighs, his hand held behind my head as he becomes more and more ridden with pleasure.
Keep going... Please... Nggh...
I suck on each of his beautiful fingers, before my lips dive back onto his, our kisses becoming more and more heated in each and every moment. I run my fingers through his now messy locks as he trails his own down my body, letting him do as he pleases.
"It's not like I wasn't prepared to fall in love," I whisper against his neck.