MADISON'S POV.
My eyes shut as the hot water runs down my back. My hair is wet and smells like strawberrys after using the shampoo. My mind is racing with all the unanswered questions that my mother is keeping from me. I try to forget for now and let the hot, steamy water relax my muscles.
I rake my fingers through my wet hair to make sure all of the shampoo is out and I grab a sponge and start to take all of the dirt and blood off of my body. When I look down to my feet the water is a strange mixture of red and brown. I lean my head against the tiles of the shower wall and flinch at the sudden chill.
I'm tired. I'm so fucking tired. Both mentally and physically. This is my first shower in a long time and I thought I'd at least enjoy it more. I look down at my arms, legs and my stomach. Everywhere has a scar or bruise. I look at my waist to see that the wound is healing, but I know that the scars and marks will always be there and they will be for the rest of my life, reminding me of the past. I know that even if I try to forget what happened it won't work, i'll never be the same. I'll never be able to forget.
I want to stay in the shower until the water goes cold but I remember Rick saying Carl still needs to have one. Instead, I turn it off and step outside to wrap a towel around me. I walk over to the mirror above the sink and wipe the condensation off it. I look at myself my eyes are exhausted and my frown lines seem permanently etched into my skin. I try to relax my face. I ignore the cuts and bruises. I'm tired of looking at them and I know it'll be a few more days until they're gone. I'll pretend they're not there.
I open the presses under the sink to find a hairbrush, facecloths, razors, soap, toothbrushes, toothpaste and my dads old shaving cream.
I decide to do something i've never got to do before. It's nothing big, it's just something a normal teenage girl would do. So I take out a razor and sit on the floor to shave my legs.
It's not as easy as it seems. I've knicked myself a few times and I have to ignore the small sting as I swipe the blotches of blood away. People in movies or commercials made this look a lot easier.
After that, I grab the tootbrush and toothpaste and brush my teeth, tasting the familar mint. I brush for a long time before washing off my brush and doing it all over again. Last but not least I take out the hairbrush and yank it through my knotted hair. After it's detangled I look around and find that I forgot to even bring a pair of clean clothes.
I groan. Can this day honestly get any worse. I chance it and double check that my towel is wrapped securely around me. I dash for the door and hope that nobody is there, but of course i'd forgotten that I've been gifted with the shittiest luck in the whole world. So I'm not completely surprised when I find myself practically face to face with Carl the moment I open the door.
I grip my towel tighter around myself but other than that compose myself. I try to act as unfazed as possible.
"I,uh.... I'm sorry.... I was, um, I was just going to go for a shower. I didn't know you were still in there." He rushes, his cheeks red as he looks to the ground.
"Um, don't worry about it." I say calmly but I practically run away. My feet bring me to my bedroom and I grab the door handle and twist it quickly, launching myself inside the moment the door is open. I shut it behind me just as quickly.
Christ Madison! Good job, really smooth.
I look around my room for anything to wear but all of the clothes here belonged to a seven year old Madison.
Ugghhh jeez!! This day just keeps getting better and better.
With a sigh, I turn back around and this time I check the hall before mortifying myself. I peer outside the door and find the gall empty. Carl must have already gone for his shower. Just as I'm about to make a move I hear footsteps on the stairs. I relax once I see her.
"Abbie!" I call.
She whips her head around to see who is calling her name.
"Abbie, over here!"
Once she sees me she rushes over to the door.
I open the door more to let her in.
She looks around curiously.
"This was your room?" She asks in surprise.
"Yeah." I say absentmindedly.
For a moment, I forgot that she wouldn't remember. As she spins to look at the room again she stops to stare at me, I'm still standing with just a towel on. She looks from me to the bedroom and back to me again.
She bursts into laughter. "I have so many questions."
"C'mon, I need your help." I beg.
She turns back to the room teasingly. "Not what I expected."
I roll my eyes.
Why does everyone keep saying that?
"But I really like it." She adds with a smile.
"Tell ya what, if you help me, you can have it."
Her whole face brightens and I watch her smile the biggest smile i've ever seen, but not quite the smile I had in mind.
She smirks a devilish smile.
"Meh, don't really feel up to the task."
"Abbie!"
She remains silent.
"You don't want the room?"
"Well, that just depends. Are those dolls included with the room?" She asks pointing to the shelves.
I laugh nervously. "Yes, you can have them all."
"Then what do you need me to do." She says with a smile still on her face.
I roll my eyes. The small favor is pretty obvious but I know she's just teasing.
"Just go into moms room and grab me some of her clothes."
Her face falls. "And leave all these dolls?" I sigh in frustration.
"Fine, I'll go! Just check the hall and stand at the top of the stairs and tell me if anyone is coming."
She nods and quickly watch climbs on my bed to grab a doll off the shelf. She laughs.
"Yeah, it looks like you lost your clothes."
"Well, something like that."
She bounces off the bed and like instructed, stands at the top of the stairs and then looks back to me.
"You're free to go."
I quickly move to my mothers room, across the hall and close the door behind me. I scurry to her closet. Her stuff will fit me. I don't spread time looking through her shit. I don't really care what I wear so I pull out the first thing I find. Trousers and a blue top.
I grab underwear too.
When I go to close the drawer my eyes land on a pile of clothes that have toppled over due to my careless rummaging. But it's what the clothes barely cover that catches my eye. I shoved the clothes out of the way and pick up the wads of money.
"I had to hide it. I thought your sticky little fingers would have found it back then." A voice scares me.
I jump in the air and the money falls to the ground. One hand clamps around my towel and the other covers my mouth to muffle my scream.
I spin around quickly and find my mother sitting in her bed. Even in the dark I'm surprised that I didn't see her. Why is she just watching me?
Her eyes are red, she was obviously crying her eyes out all this time.
"Were you just watching me this whole time?" I ask.
She sighs and opens her mouth to talk but then me, being the ass that I am, I interupt her.
"No wait, i actually don't give a shit. I have a better question. Where the hell did you get this money?"
She stays silent and I feel some of the anger from earlier return.
"Just one! Just answer one fucking question. Don't you remember that Ben and Nick busted their asses trying to get money from any small job they could get?" I grunt, shaking the wads on money in the air.
"I remember sweetheart. I think we have a lot to talk about."
"You mean, you have a lot to talk about. I didn't do anything." I say.
"I have some things to talk about." She corrects herself.
She takes a deep breath.
"Okay so..... You know how after your father left, we had nothing. We needed to get money and we were desperate."
"Again. Not our fault."
"Right. As you said, Ben and Nick found any money they could by helping the milkman or the postman. And you, you were so young when he left and it broke your heart, but you went out into those woods and brought back any food you could find." She repeats my past, like I didn't know the end of this story, like I wasn't there at all.
She hasn't told her side of the story yet.
"I remember, but I want to know what you did, how did you get this money? We had nothing and then all of a sudden you have loads of it hidden in your closet."
"Umm, yeah, i'm getting to that part. So for a long time, like you know, I done nothing. I just froze."
I nod. I remember well but if I open my mouth and say something smart she'll just run away again and I feel so close to finding out something new.
"After a while, when I started to come around again I tried to get a proper job, but every single time I would fail. After that I kinda just gave up. I didn't try, like you all did. I should have, but I didn't. Abbie was so small, just a baby. She didn't even know him and he didn't know her. I wasn't much help. It was you who was really there for her. You were more of a mother to her than I ever was, than I ever will be." She tells me.
"Keep you're apologies. I don't want them. I don't care about them. I care about answers and you're avoiding the question. Where did you get the money?" I ask, angry now.
"I'm not avoiding it, i'm getting to it." She replies.
"So, as I was saying he died and we had nothing. We might have had better luck begging on the streets. We weren't completely poor but when you have a newborn baby most of the money had to go towards her. Anyways a few months before we were taken I decided to try something else. I only done it because we were desparate, I was desperate. We needed the money. So I did what I had to do."
"And what was that?" I ask through my teeth.
"I slept with ...."
I cut her off, suddenly not wanting to know the rest of the story. I can already hear her finish her sentence.
"You're kidding, right? Please tell me that this is just some sick, twisted joke." I plead.
"Life is a sick twisted joke Madison." She snaps.
"I'm sorry Madison, but you wanted to know."
Yes, of course mother! Every child wants to hear that their mom is a prostitute!
"How does this have anything to do with being taken." I spit, suddenly seeing red and my conscience screams at me to keep my mouth shut or we'll never find out anything. We'll be back to square one.
"Oh, it has everything to do with being taken." She says.
"This one man, well, he was kinda off the rails. He was a regular customer. Scary as hell, made me nervous to be near him but he paid well, so..."
I stay silent and watch as she takes another dramatic breath before continuing her story.
"After we were done I was trying to go home. It was just as normal as any night with him. But for some reason this one night, he just attacked me and I grabbed the closest thing to defend myself. It was a lamp from his bedside table."
"I didn't mean to kill him, I just wanted to get away from him but I must have hit him too hard on his temple and the next thing I know he's on the ground, blood everywhere and he's not waking up. I ran for the hills before anyone showed up. I didn't know what to do but I didn't stick around to watch what happened next."
"I still don't know why this is relevant." I remind her.
"Well, turns out his brothers were just as crazy as him. He had a lot of brothers too and friends that were just as twisted. They all believed very much in revenge."
"Are you telling me that those men that held us hostage after all these years, they were the brothers of the man you killed?" I ask.
She nods and I feel like the breath has been knocked from my lungs.
"They told me that I took away their family, so they were gonna do the exact same to me. To us."
I feel my knees shake and I allow myself to sit on the ground. I clutch my towel closely and try to ignore the ringing in my ears. I struggle to process whats just happened. I don't know what I expected but it wasn't this.
I had never expected this.