The sun crept gently through the white curtains of the hotel room, casting everything in a warm, golden glow. Tay Tawan sat on the edge of the bed, hands pressed against his face, breathing slowly in and out. Today was the big day New Thitipoom was getting married. His best friend since kindergarten, his anchor in every storm... and the man Tay had been in love with since he was seventeen.
He hated that thought, and yet it refused to leave him. Tay knew New better than anyone his quirks, his fears, his little habits and that knowledge made the ache in his chest all the sharper. He was the best man, the one responsible for making sure everything went perfectly, and yet his heart was waging its own, quiet rebellion.
Tay's mind drifted back over the years they had shared. From the sandbox to high school, from shy glances to late-night heart-to-hearts. New had always had this uncanny ability to pull Tay out of his shell, make him laugh when he wanted to hide, comfort him when he was at his lowest. Tay had loved him before he even fully understood what love was. Back then, it was innocent, almost naive. But with every year, it had grown quiet, unyielding, a constant companion in the back of his mind.
Now, at twenty-nine, standing just a few hours away from seeing New in a wedding suit, Tay felt a surge of conflicting emotions. Pride, joy, and an unbearable ache that no one else could see. He tried to shake it off and focus on the tasks at hand. There were speeches to prepare, rings to check, a best man's suit to adjust, but his hands felt like lead, his thoughts swirling in a haze of what-ifs and never-weres.
The phone buzzed. A message from New:
"Tay... can you come to my room? I'm nervous."
Tay's heart skipped. Of course he would. He had always been there, every step of the way. He took a deep breath, smoothed his tie, and walked down the corridor.
New was sitting on the bed, fidgeting with his cufflinks. The nervous energy radiating from him was palpable, and Tay felt a pang of tenderness that almost made him ache.
"You look... perfect," Tay said, the words tumbling out before he could stop himself. He immediately regretted them not because they weren't true, but because the sincerity behind them was dangerous.
New looked up, smiling but biting his lip nervously. "Thanks, Tay. I... I don't know what I'd do without you."
"You wouldn't have to do anything without me," Tay replied softly, forcing a lightness into his tone. "I've got you."
New's smile softened, and for a moment, Tay could see the boy he had grown up with the one who had shared his lunches, his secrets, his dreams. The one he had loved in silence all these years.
And yet, today, Tay's role was different. He wasn't allowed to act on anything. He wasn't allowed to hope. He was the best man, the guardian of the day, the silent witness to New's happiness, even if that happiness wasn't his to share.
"Let's get this over with," New said, standing. "I need my moral support."
Tay nodded, swallowing the lump in his throat. Moral support. He was here to prop up the love of his life as he married someone else. Tay straightened his shoulders, plastered a professional smile on his face, and followed New out of the room.