Narcissa,
I cannot accurately describe how wonderful it was to receive your letter. Remaining hopeful is difficult. At first, I focused easily on pleasant memories to keep my mind from the dementors, but the longer I'm here, the harder it becomes to bring anything happy to mind. It has only been a few weeks since I arrived, but it feels much, much longer. I promise to write as often as I can—though I wonder whether the Aurors will actually see that this is delivered to you. Your letter had been opened before it reached me—a gross misuse of power.
I hope you know that asking you not to visit was the last thing I wanted to do, and the idea of not being able to see or touch you is a worse punishment than anything else. We'll have letters, now, at least, and that will be enough to make certain that I have something positive to focus on while I'm here. Thank you for agreeing to stay safe. Please keep me apprised of what's happening at home, and give my love to Draco and Lara.
Yours always,
Lucius x
***
"Hmmph. Not one mention of me."
Narcissa had been too absorbed in her rereading of the letter for what must've been the thirtieth time to notice that her sister had approached and paused behind her chair. She blushed as she realized that Bellatrix had been reading over her shoulder.
"Bella..." Narcissa shook her head. She'd returned with Draco from the Mulcibers' after breakfast, and since then, Narcissa and Bellatrix had spoken very little. Bellatrix had been in the bedroom she'd been given for most of the day, and Narcissa had begun to wonder whether her sister was avoiding her. If she had been, those efforts appeared to have been abandoned, now.
"I'm only teasing you, Cissy." Bellatrix rolled her eyes, dropping into the closest seat to her sister's and drumming her fingers against the chair's arm with what looked to Narcissa like a combination of boredom and agitation.
Narcissa watched her sister carefully. Bellatrix was a bomb that could easily explode if she were to say the wrong thing. Narcissa knew her sister hated being trapped within the Manor; even in childhood, Bellatrix had never enjoyed remaining in one place for what she deemed too long when she could've been accomplishing something elsewhere. It was for her safety that she remained here, though she was clearly not enjoying it.
"I know," said Narcissa after a brief pause. "But I wish you'd ease up on him."
Bellatrix frowned. She inhaled deeply and let out the breath in a sigh. "Contrary to what you may believe, I don't exactly... hate your husband."
"You certainly make it seem that way."
"You think I wanted someone I learned Unforgivable Curses with marrying my little sister?" Bellatrix snapped.
Narcissa stared at her. Is that it? she thought. Is that why she's been so antagonistic toward him for so long? Does she think I'm in danger? Narcissa doubted that was the entire reason for her sister's behavior. She'd seen Bellatrix and Lucius struggle for power on more than one occasion, even over simple things such as seating placement at dinners—she recalled Bellatrix making a point to take the chair belonging to Lucius on her first morning at the Manor, and she realized belatedly that it had likely been a continuation of a fight started fifteen-odd years earlier, before Bellatrix's imprisonment. Narcissa imagined the bickering between the two only became worse when wands and orders were involved.
"Lucius would never hurt me," she said, shaking her head. Though she had questioned many other things over the past several weeks, she knew that much to be true beyond all doubt.
"Not intentionally. He does love you," said Bellatrix, and it sounded to Narcissa that the words were borderline painful for her sister to say. "But look at what's happened. You are hurting—I can see it clearly, even when you refuse to talk to me and run off to Lara instead. You're suffering because you're with him and now he's in Azkaban for Merlin-knows-how-long. I never wanted that for you."
"What about when you were in Azkaban for more than a decade?"
Silence dropped like lead over the room, and the two women stared at one another. The words had been threatening to burst from Narcissa's lips since her sister had escaped from the prison roughly a year previously, but she'd always managed to hold them back until now. How dare Bellatrix fault Lucius for being taken away from Narcissa when she'd allowed the same to happen to herself so many years before?
"You think I wanted to be locked up?" asked Bellatrix, scowling.
"Didn't you?" Narcissa challenged. "I was at your trial, Bella. You didn't even try to defend yourself. Your loyalty has always been to the Dark Lord, and you were willing to go to Azkaban for him."
"Of course I was! I dedicated my life to serving him, and I knew that when he freed us, we would be rewarded for our loyalty—Rodolphus and Rabastan and me! I've earned that reward, Narcissa! I've earned my time on the outside, now! That doesn't mean I wanted to spend half my life in prison! I had no idea how long I was going to be there, and—"
"But you didn't think about any of that, did you?" Narcissa pressed. Bellatrix had leaned forward in her chair, her voice rising with the passion she'd channeled into her words, but Narcissa forced her own tone to remain as calm as she could manage in order to keep her emotions under her control. She'd shed entirely too many tears, lately, and she didn't want to seem weak to this woman who had faced the prospect of life in prison while sitting in her sentencing chair as though it were a throne. "You didn't consider that the Dark Lord could've left you there. Or if he hadn't returned—"
"I knew he would return!"
"But you were willing to take your chances, if he didn't." Narcissa laid Lucius's letter on the table beside her in order to keep herself from damaging it, as her other hand had already tightened reflexively on the arm of her chair until her knuckles had turned white. "Lucius was willing to lie for you, to protect you. He tried to tell the Ministry you'd acted under the Imperius Curse, and when you made it perfectly clear that you'd acted of your own volition, it almost destroyed his credibility. I almost lost both of you, right then. I would've been here with my year-old son while the two people I love most apart from him were taken away. Don't you see that, Bella? Don't you see that you chose the Dark Lord over me fifteen years ago?"
The anger slowly drained from Bellatrix's face, replaced over the moments that followed with shock and—Narcissa's stomach twisted at the sight, and she wished immediately that she hadn't said a word on the subject—pain. She opened her mouth, prepared to apologize for getting carried away. She'd meant every word, but normally, she never would've said any of it aloud. She'd been trained by their parents to keep her feelings to herself when they ran the risk of slightly inconveniencing someone else, and though she'd worked for years to rid herself of this mentality, this time, she wished she'd obeyed what Cygnus and Druella had tried to force on her so long ago.
Before she could take anything back, however, Bellatrix spoke.
"That's why you talk to Lara and not me, isn't it?"
Narcissa sighed, relaxing her grip on the chair's arms. The fight had all but gone out of her, for the moment, and she simply felt tired. "It's why I didn't feel like I could tell you what happened, when you and Draco left me alone with the Dark Lord."
"I..." Bellatrix frowned, looking down at her knees for a moment as she worked at the words she wanted to convey. "I never looked at it like a choice," she said at last, her focus shifting to Narcissa once more. "That's never what it was, to me—at least not a choice between him and you. I chose to serve him, but I never wanted to hurt you. I knew I might not get out again, but while I ignored what Lucius was trying to do to get me freed, I knew he was going to be out here with you. That you'd be safe. It never crossed my mind that it would matter if I wasn't part of that."
"Of course it mattered, Bella." Despite her best efforts to keep her tears away, Narcissa felt them starting to form. "You're my sister. I love you."
Bellatrix watched Narcissa for a moment, and then she stood, closing the remaining distance between them to lean down and embrace her. The gesture felt awkward physically, as though it had been years since Bellatrix had attempted anything like it, but the sentiment was clear, and Narcissa held onto her tightly.
"I love you, too," Bellatrix muttered. "Now are you going to tell me what happened?"
Narcissa shook her head, leaning back to meet her sister's gaze, and Bellatrix straightened to her full height as she stood beside the chair.
"Why the hell not?"
"I don't want to think about it," said Narcissa. "But I give you my word that if something else happens, you'll be the first one I tell, if that's what you want."
Bellatrix sighed and nodded, frowning slightly. She didn't appear thrilled by the answer, but she wasn't arguing, which was progress, in Narcissa's opinion.
"Will you at least tell me if that one's okay?" asked Bellatrix, pointing toward Narcissa's stomach.
"Perfectly fine."
Bellatrix nodded again, and then she yawned.
"Go rest, Bella," said Narcissa. "We'll talk more later." She drew the letter back into her lap. After her sister had gone, she planned to begin her reply to Lucius.
Bellatrix started toward the door, gesturing to the letter as she walked. "Tell him I would've liked a 'hello.'"
"I will."
As Bellatrix left the room, Narcissa looked down at the letter she held once more, a faint smile on her lips.