"Books are the plane, and the train, and the road. They are the destination, and the journey. They are home." Anna Quindlen, How Reading Changed My Life
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One Chance
Chapter One
Sussex, May, 1812.
"Bella, Elle, get out of there now!" cried Annaliese Dawson. Annaliese nervously checked over her shoulders to make sure that her two younger sisters could not be seen by any passers-by.
Annaliese had always been the most sensible of Mr and Mrs Dawson's three daughters. As the eldest, it was Annaliese's responsibility to keep her sisters out of trouble. She failed. Often.
It was an unusually warm Sussex afternoon in May, and the Dawson sisters had been sent into the village by their parents to purchase new ribbons for the upcoming London season. On their walk home, Isabella and Eleanor had decided to jump into the village pond for a swim to cool off in their underclothes.
Isabella and Eleanor enjoyed venturing into the village to spend their parents' dwindling funds. Annaliese, however, felt anxious about it. She was the only one who knew about their parents' financial situation. Annaliese had always had a talent for arithmetic, but her father had refused to acknowledge her bookkeeping skills until it was too late. Mr Julian Dawson had always resented the fact that he did not have a son, and so he insisted on his daughters being subservient women.
Had he simply allowed Annaliese to budget their money, they might not be in such a situation.
The Dawsons were near destitute and Annaliese's parents were in utter denial. They pretended as though they had money to burn, sending their three daughters off to buy new dresses and bonnets ready for the upcoming season, adding to their accounts which they would not be able to pay.
Annaliese was not to mention money. She had one job: control her sisters. If she failed, then she would be punished. Her mother had one talent. Slapping. Annaliese's cheek could sometimes sting for days.
That was why Annaliese was desperate to control her sisters. Isabella and Eleanor's underclothes were sodden, and completely transparent. If a man were to walk by and see ... Annaliese shuddered. The humiliation would be terrible. The Dawsons were a respected family in Sussex, which was mainly why they denied their dire financial crisis.
"Do not be so tiresome, Annaliese," cried Isabella, giggling as she splashed Annaliese with some of the murky pond water. Annaliese shied away from the water, even though the cool temperature was tempting in the sun.
"You do not always have to be good, Annaliese," added Eleanor, who promptly dived underneath the water, popping back up a few feet away.
How would Annaliese explain this to her mother? She would be in such trouble.
Eleanor was right. Annaliese was always good. She never stepped a toe out of line. She never said the wrong thing. She never talked back. In fact, she hardly spoke at all. She was quiet in public, and in private. Annaliese was reserved and polite because that was what was expected of her.
"Please, girls," begged Annaliese. "Get out now. We have to go home and you need to change. If Mama and Papa see you like this then they will be angry."
Isabella and Eleanor exchanged a knowing glance before they both nodded. They trudged out of the water and climbed up onto the bank where their dresses were laying in and amongst their purchases from the village shops.
Annaliese did love her younger sisters, no matter how silly they could be. Isabella was closest to Annaliese in age, at sixteen years old. Isabella was very beautiful. She had golden blonde hair and dark brown eyes. She was the tallest of the three Dawson sisters, and she had a very feminine figure. Half the men in the village were in love with Isabella, and she thrived on the attention.
Eleanor was fourteen years old, and had not quite grown into her figure yet. She was sweet looking, with the same blonde hair and brown eyes. Eleanor often followed Isabella instead of Annaliese. Isabella was happy and entertaining. Annaliese was not.
Annaliese fussed over her sisters' dresses like a mother hen, trying to right them so that they would not look as though they had been bathing in a pond. Eleanor seemed as though she felt guilty about the possibility that they might get in trouble. Isabella could not stop smirking. Isabella often tried to persuade Annaliese into being more adventurous.
"One of these days, Annaliese, you are going to be old and grey, and you are going to wish that you spent more time in ponds when you were younger," Isabella teased as she tied the ribbon on her bonnet underneath her chin.
Annaliese knew that her sister was right, but if she was not the sensible one, then who would be?
"We should be going now," Annaliese murmured, as she gathered their purchases.
Isabella and Eleanor obliged. Together, the three sisters walked back towards their family home. While her sisters chatted about their upcoming trip to London, Annaliese wondered if the Dawson home would still be theirs upon their return. Annaliese wondered if she would return to Sussex after their season in London. She was eighteen years old. She was of marriageable age. So was Isabella, but Annaliese did not want her marrying at sixteen. She was still too silly. She needed to grow up before she married.
The thought of being married by the end of the summer was daunting. Annaliese knew her parents needed her to marry well to preserve their lifestyle. She would be the easiest daughter to marry off. Annaliese was quiet, subservient, and she did as she was told.
After a half hour of walking, the Dawsons' house came into view. It was not grand, but it was large, the largest in the village. The ground floor housed a large sitting and drawing room, with a generous dining room and a cosy kitchen. Their household had been let go quietly, all except for their cook and a maid. Upstairs were the bedrooms. Eleanor and Isabella shared a bedroom, and Annaliese slept by herself.
The girls let themselves into the house and Annaliese quickly hurried her sisters upstairs so that they could change. She decided to go and find her parents so as to distract them from seeing that Isabella and Eleanor were wet.
Annaliese heard voices in the drawing room. It was late afternoon. Her parents were probably having afternoon tea before dinner that evening. She let herself into the room without knocking, which was a mistake. As soon as she entered the drawing room, her mother and father shot her murderous glares, letting her know that she had interrupted something important.
Julian and Jane Dawson were not alone in the drawing room. They were joined by an older, graceful-looking woman, who was dressed very finely. She turned her neck to look at Annaliese, though her gaze was anything but murderous. She beamed at Annaliese. Her smile was incredible, so happy and cheerful. Nobody had ever smiled at Annaliese like that before.
"Oh, is this her? Is this Annaliese?" she asked excitedly. "Oh, she is just as beautiful as you said, Jane."
Annaliese looked to her mother for an explanation. Jane still looked thoroughly annoyed that Annaliese had walked in on their meeting.
"Yes, Lady Cassidy," murmured Julian. "This is our eldest, Annaliese."
Lady Cassidy rose from the settee and smoothed her gown before she approached Annaliese. She was still smiling ever so widely. "Oh, you are just lovely, dear," she said kindly, seizing Annaliese's hands in hers. Annaliese stayed silent, stunned. What was going on?
"Thank you, Lady Cassidy," Annaliese replied politely. "It is a pleasure to meet you."
Annaliese could have sworn that Lady Cassidy's eyes glistened. Was she getting teary? "Your parents tell me that you are a very good young lady, Annaliese," Lady Cassidy said quietly. "They tell me you are very kind and sweet, and that you are very good to your sisters."
Annaliese found it hard to believe that her parents had been so complimentary, but the information was accurate nevertheless. Why were her parents talking about her?
Lady Cassidy looked back to Annaliese's parents and said, "If she agrees, I would love for you all to come to Cassidy House. My son wants this to be simple. He does not want to endure a season to find a wife."
Annaliese could not keep herself from gasping, and spluttering, "A wife?" She immediately shut her mouth and her parents glared at her, shooting her severe warning.
Lady Cassidy furrowed her eyebrows. "Do you not know of the plans, Annaliese?" she asked.
Annaliese shook her head nervously. "No, Lady Cassidy."
"Oh," Lady Cassidy said sadly. "Annaliese, please agree to this. I know it may not be your dream, but a mother knows what is right for her family." She smiled hopefully and placed her hand on the side of Annaliese's face in such a maternal way. "I can tell by just looking at you, dear. I can tell that you are a good girl. My son needs a good girl. My grandchildren need a good mother."
Annaliese did her best not to show a reaction. Inside, she was panicking. She had expected to find her parents in the drawing room sipping tea. She had expected to distract them, perhaps show her mother their new ribbons, and then she would watch her parents pretend that they had a way to pay for them. Then perhaps they would discuss their travel plans for the coming weeks. They were going to London to stay with friends of her mother's. They were to attend balls and Annaliese was to meet an eligible gentleman.
She did not expect to find her parents arranging a marriage for her. She did not expect to find the incredibly lovely Lady Cassidy deciding that Annaliese was right for her family within seconds of meeting her.
Of course she would not agree. This was ridiculous. This was not how marriages happened. She was supposed to be courted by a gentleman. She was supposed to dance and do everything she could to resemble a normal debutante.
Lady Cassidy smiled back at Jane. "I will be staying in the village tonight, Jane," she said, "before I return home to Somerset tomorrow. Send a note to the inn and I will bring Annaliese's answer to Matthew. I do hope you agree, Annaliese," Lady Cassidy said to Annaliese. "Please consider this." Lady Cassidy then departed the drawing room, closing the door behind her.
"Sit down, Annaliese," her father said sternly.
Annaliese nervously obeyed. Her hands were shaking as she anxiously anticipating her parents' ruling.
"Lady Cassidy is an old school friend of mine," Jane said bluntly. "She married young to a baronet and had two sons, the eldest of which has since inherited her late husband's title. Matthew Cassidy's wife died in childbirth four years ago giving birth to their daughter. The child survived, and he has two older children. Lord Cassidy has acknowledged the fact that his children need a mother, but has no desire to participate in the season. That is why Lady Cassidy wrote me. She knew that I had daughters, marriageable daughters." Annaliese's mother spoke very tiredly, as though she did not even care what this would mean for her.
"They do not require a dowry, Annaliese," Julian added curtly, "so you will agree to this. The Cassidy family are willing to support us, so long as one of our daughters marries Matthew Cassidy."
Three children. Annaliese kept repeating that number in her head. How could she possibly be a mother to three children? She was only eighteen! She could barely control her sisters, let alone three little children.
"Papa, I cannot ..." Annaliese whispered, her voice breaking.
"This is not up for discussion, Annaliese," snapped Julian.
"If you do not agree to this, then Isabella will be the one to marry him. Which would you prefer?" Jane threatened.
Annaliese's eyes snapped to her mother's cold, grey irises. Annaliese was the complete opposite of her mother. She had had to be. Jane was not the maternal type. For as long as Annaliese could remember, her mother had been disinterested in her daughters. She believed both her parents had resentment in their hearts that none of their children had been sons.
If it was a choice between herself and Isabella, then Annaliese would agree to it. Selfishly, the idea of leaving her parents was tempting; however, Annaliese did not want to leave her sisters. Lady Cassidy seemed kind. Perhaps she would allow Isabella and Eleanor to stay for extended visits.
"This is about the money," Annaliese said quietly. "You need me to marry him for his money."
"You believe yourself to be clever, do you not, Annaliese?" Jane asked cynically. "Tell me, for how long could we sustain ourselves before we became paupers? You will marry this man for the good of the family, or so help me God, we will throw you out on the street to beg for a crust."
Annaliese flinched at her mother's cruel words, though she truly believed that Jane would be true to her threat. Annaliese was her mother's least favourite child, and she had no idea why.
Her mother's face always wore an expression of disappointment. She was disappointed at her situation in life, the family she had married into, and their forthcoming destitution. She had been this way long before Lady Cassidy had entered the equation.
She needed to appease her parents, to calm them. "What are the names of Lord Cassidy's children?" she asked softly, daring to meet her mother's eyes again.
"How should we know?" Julian scoffed. "Go upstairs and write to Lady Cassidy," he ordered. "Tell her that you would be honoured to marry her son. Tell her that we will travel to Somerset in a week."
Annaliese obeyed her parents and moved slowly from the drawing room as her thoughts jumbled together. An hour ago she was unattached. Now she informally engaged to a man she had never met.
Annaliese did not see her sisters coming down the stairs. She did not notice them until Isabella shook her shoulders.
"Annaliese, are you alright?" she asked, sounding quite concerned.
Annaliese met her sister's dark brown eyes.
"You do not look well," commented Eleanor. "Do you need to lie down?"
"It seems I am getting married," Annaliese said quietly.