"Sage, Jack and Lux are here," Mark pops his head in the door way and says. I nod and finish putting my shirt on. When I fold down the collar of the plaid shirt, I turn to see Mark leaning against the doorway with a cute smirk.
"What?" He smiles and shrugs.
"Just thinking, babe." I shrug and follow him out of the room.
"Ey! It's Sagiplier!" I smile and drag a hand down my face.
"Please God let that be a donkey and not Sean," I fake agony. Mark appears by my side.
"Don't worry, it's just a regular old Jackass." I laugh and Mark wraps his arms around me from behind.
"Hey, he's my Jackass," Lux says from the couch. I make a shmucky face and she returns the favor with her middle fingers.
"Ooh, now give me tiger face!" Jack shouts. I sit on the coffee table across from Lux.
"What... Is this?" I ask grabbing a large binder from Lux's lap. She grabs back for it, but I'm already flipping through hundreds of pages of hotel images, fabric samples, wedding dresses, and flower bouquet snapshots. "Jeezus Cristo, you freak!" She bites at her thumb nail and smiles sheepishly. "Have you been planning this since you were born or what?!" She shrugs and looks down.
"Since sixth grade..." I shit the book and stifle a laugh. "What? All I've ever wanted is to be married and happy and write stories and... I don't know... I just did it all with this." She takes back the book and hugs it to her chest. I shake my head.
"I can't believe you guys are just now starting to plan. You've been engaged for, like... Eight months." Jack shrugs.
"We agreed on waiting until Lix moved in, and she just got moved in."
"So as soon as you move in you crash with us," Mark says. He laughs and goes to the fridge and pulls out a red bull and a bottle of water. He tosses the can in my direction and I catch it, barely.
For the next few hours, Lux and Jack argue playfully over flowers, colors, dates, food, reception halls. Just everything imaginable. Suddenly I can't watch it anymore.
"I-" they all three snap up and look at me in surprise. I haven't said anything in over an hour. "Sorry... I... I need to go lay down, I really don't feel so good. At all," I stand up slowly and my head spins. My face feels flushed and clammy and the back of my neck is prickling.
"You ok?" Mark stands with me and I nod lightly.
"I just think I'm tired. We stood up till 5 am last night, bro." He nods and follows me into the bedroom. I sit on the bed a slowly, half-consciously unbutton my shirt and kick off my pants. I pull a large t-shirt over my head and climb into bed. Mark presses his palm in my forehead.
"Jeez, Sage. You're burning up, are you sure you're just tired?" I nod.
"And dizzy. And hot. And tired."
"You already said that, babe," he says sweetly. I smile lightly. "Do you want some aspirin?" I nod.
"There's some in my jacket over there. The one I wore yesterday." He silently walks over and picks up my jacket. The pills rattle and I hear a small pat on the floor. I peel an eye open. Mark stares down at the carpet with a bewildered look. "Mark?" He doesn't move. Finally he squats, picks something up and turns to me with a blank look.
"Sage?" He holds up a small white carton with a camel on it.
Shit.
I sit up slowly, trying to focus and not get dizzy.
"What are these?" I sigh and ideas of lies swim in my head.
"Those are Dakota's," I say. Mark raises a brow.
"Oh? Oh really." He shakes his head and stuffs them down his pocket. I nod.
"I know she can just go out and buy more, but she was pissing me off so I took them away yesterday. She was late to the whole audition and she was drunk and I snapped and I..." Mark opens the bottle and shakes out two pills. He hands them to me and hands me his bottle of water. When I finish he sits next to me. He brushes the matted hair off my face. I want to die when I look him in the eyes.
"When was the last time you went to therapy?" I look down and he lifts my chin up. "Sage?" I sigh and bite my lip.
"Three months."
The look in his eyes says it all. He's disappointed. He's sad. He's wishing I wouldn't have said that. Wishing I wouldn't have done that...
"Why?" I shrug and look back down.
"They make me feel empty. All they do is ask me to talk to my parents. They tell me you're hurting me and bringing me down. They're saying I need to go look for something to do other than shows and stupid stuff. They just... They don't know what they're saying when they say it's not good for me to stay with you. I need you more than anything and they get pissed when I refuse to leave you and-"
"Hey..." I look up. Mark smiles and shakes his head. "You're unbelievable." Before I can respond, he pulls me into a hug, soft and warm. When Fred in Big Hero 6 says its like spooning a warm marshmallow, this must be how he felt.
I breathe him in. I never want to forget him. I want to hold on forever. I can't imagine being without him.
"Please stop smoking," he whispers in my ear. I can't even try and deny it. He kisses my cheek and turns the T.V. on. He switches it to my favorite show, Friends. He smiles as he turns off the light and shuts the door. I begin to drift away as Phoebe and Rachel find out about their apartment being on fire.
When I wake up I still feel terrible. Really I feel a thousand times worse. My head throbs and I can hardly see and my throat is sore and I feel like my whole body is tingling on fire.
I make my way to the living room, happening to catch a glance of myself in the mirror. I jump at the mess I see on myself. My hair is everywhere, makeup and didn't even know I was wearing looks like I entered the Heath Ledger Joker look alike contest. Instead of an oversized t shirt I'm wearing an incredibly sparkly pink shirt... Or is it a dress?
"Hey you!" I jump and spin to see Mark sitting on the couch with tired eyes. He smiles in a strange way. "Wow, you look way better than you did last night!" I shake my head.
"What?" He makes a sympathetic face.
"Don't remember a thing, do ya?" I raise an eyebrow.
"What?"
He laughs. "Oh you were drinking and smoking and partying and dancing and smoking some more and then we did some partying-"
"What are you talking about?" He laughs even more.
"You crazy sonuvabitch!"
"But... I quit all of that..." He waved like he was shooing me away.
"Sure ya did! But... The tables turned," he says with a shrug.
"What are you talking about Mark? That doesn't sound like me..." Panic begins to rise in my throat.
"Sure it does, Dakota!" My head spins.
Dakota.
"But I'm not Dakota Mark!" He laughs.
"Sure ya are, cupcake." I shake my head.
"I'm Sage, and never have you ever called me cupcake..." He laughs loud and maniacally. I shake my head and walk away.
This is bullshit.
When I pass the mirror I catch another glimpse of myself. Although I'm not... Myself... I am Dakota.
"Sage?" My eyes snap open.
It was just a dream.
"Mark?" I sit up and he's sitting on the edge of the bed next to me.
"How you feel?" I shrug. "You look like you just saw a ghost." I shrug. He laughs. "Did you?"
"Did I what?"
"See a ghost..." I feel blank and empty and drowsy and I can't even acknowledge him. "Oh shit," he whispers when he feels my face.
"What?"
"Hold on. Don't move," he instructs and disappears into the bathroom. He reappears holding a thermometer. He sticks it softly in my ear and j get goosebumps... Still. I smile to myself with pleasure. "A hundred and three..." He stares at the thermometer for a minute. Then he tosses it on the nightstand. "Come in," he says as he pulls in sweats. I double take.
Wasn't he wearing pants?
He pulls my legs out of the sheets and puts socks on my feet. Then he pulls out my favorite black cotton shorts from a drawer. He assumes I need help and puts them on me. He wraps my arms around his neck and picks me up. I lay into his arms, my head suddenly spinning.
I feel him draping something over me and it barely does anything. I'm freezing would be the biggest understatement. You know when you can't stop chattering your teeth and your not even sure if you're cold? That's what this is, only I'm so cold that some areas throb and burn.
I hear the door close and keys rattle and he sets me in my feet, keeping an arm around my waist.
"Sssh, you'll be ok," I hear him and I realize I was moaning. I have to stop to cough, but I can't seem to get the tickle out of my throat. I can't stop coughing be and I can't catch my breath. I crumble just before Mark slides his arm into the crook of my legs. I cough and cough but I can't seem to feel better, and I still can't catch my breath. I force myself to stop coughing and breath through my nose. I just begin to calm down when the feeling rises in my throat again. I swallow it away, which seems to work for a moment. I suddenly feel force against Mark's back and noise. A lot of noise.
"Taxi!"
"You can have mine, young man," I hear a woman say.
"Thank you, so much," Mark says. I feel myself sway and loose balance. I hit surface and hear a car door slam.
"Where to?" I feel Mark pull me so I lay across his chest somewhat. If I listen close I hear his heart beating.
"The nearest hospital, please," he says. My mind swims.
Hospital?
My mind wanders in and out and I can't focus on one single subject. It all twirls and runs out of my reach. Not fair.
The car screeches to a halt and I'm being swept off my feet again.
"We have a situation!" I hear a woman shout. I'm laid down and I hear a mixed jumble of conversation.
"She just started coughing and she has this fever and she's shivering and it just doesn't look good and-"
"Thank you sir, we'll have you the info as soon as we get her examined.
"What?" I hear him say breathlessly.
"Mark," I say as loud as I can. From what I can tell, the nurse didn't even hear. I loose hope in whatever this is. Until I hear it.
"Sage..." My eyes flutter, hoping for glimpse, but I don't catch it.
"She's loosing consciousness," is the last thing I hear before I let myself go.