Chapter 7
(Vanessa’s POV)
The sun was almost set I noticed as I waited on the outside of the restaurant for Chase. There were bats flying all through my stomach. I pulled out my compact mirror checking my face, making sure I wasn’t too made over. “Vanessa,” Chase’s voice called. I immediately flipped my compact closed and placed it back in my purse and looked at him. I needed a moment to take in his presence. He was looking good. Too good. “Damn,” I murmured.
“Hey,” he said greeting me with a hug. I gave him a friendly kiss on the cheek. “Hey,” I said back. He had a million dollar smile that I couldn’t resist. “Uh oh!” he said dramatically playfully biting his finger. He took me by the hand and forced me to spin around. I giggled as I turned strutting in the new outfit I bought for this special occasion. “Mm, you look beautiful!” he yelled. “But that’s always the case with you,” he added. I smiled. “I can’t let you go on without giving you a compliment. You look really nice,” I said. He smiled, “Aw, you’re just saying that. You don’t have to make me feel good Vanessa.”
“I’m serious Chase, you look great. I’m an image consultant. I know swagg when I see it. You look real sharp. I’m surprised you put that together yourself,” I teased. We both laughed. He placed his hands in his pockets and exhaled. I’m not sure what he was thinking. He seemed nervous. He couldn’t have been as nervous as I was. “So is she nervous too?” I asked.
“Of course. You should of seen her, she was shaking like a chihuahua.” I laughed. “How you feelin?” he asked.
“Good. I mean, I’m nervous as hell. ...I’m glad we’re doing this though.” I said.
“You ready?” he asked placing his palm out to me. I took his hand and exhaled before nodding. He led me in the restaurant to our table. A table that was empty. “Where is she?” I asked a little worried.
“Uhh,” Chase replied fumbling around in his pockets. “Have a seat,” he said pulling out a chair for me like a true gentleman. “I’ll call her.” He walked away from the table and made his call. I feared the worst. What if she didn’t want to meet me? Was this too soon? ...even worse, was it too late? I hope she didn’t run off. My foot shook up and down rapidly as I awaited Chase. He walked back smoothly to the table. “Bathroom,” he said. What a relief. “I told her to stop drinking all that water,” he joked shaking his head. He sat down in the center chair. His hand reached under the table and rested calmly on my exposed knee. “Relax,” he said softly with a gentle smile. I stopped shaking and took a deep breath. Chase stood up suddenly. I looked over at him who was looking across the room. I tried to find what he was glaring at until I saw a young woman in a cute dressy halter top and what looked like leggings. I stood up. I knew it was her. A mother knows her baby’s face. I almost wanted to cry. I exhaled in disbelief as I cupped my nose and mouth with my hands. She finally stepped to Chase not taking her eyes off of me. She smiled. I smiled. I wanted to break down and cry. “Well, I guess I’ll introduce you two. Vanessa, this is your daughter, Darryl. Darryl, this is your mother Vanessa the woman formally known as Christina.” She looked at me in disbelief. Her eyes grew watery. I walked up to her. “Hi...mom,” she said sweetly in a barely cracked voice. I wanted to break down right then. A tear fell down my face. “Oh Darryl,” I whispered giving her the longest warmest most loving hug I could ever give anyone on this earth. She began crying in my new dress. I didn’t even care. “Shh, I’m here. I’m here now,” I whispered rubbing her back. I cried as well and soon people began to stare. I didn’t care what they thought. They didn’t understand anything. When we finally had enough tears the three of us sat down. “Wow,” I said in awe. “Darryl, you are so beautiful baby,” I said admiring her gorgeous features. She laughed. “Well I obviously get it from you. I wish I got your eyes too,” she said. I giggled. “And you know how to dress too? Fashion has to run in the blood,” I said smiling at her. I looked at Chase who was taking all of this in. “Well. I’m paying for everything tonight. Ya’ll don’t worry about a thing. Order anything you want, as many, times as you want,” I insisted.
“Vanessa, I can’t let you do that. I got this,” Chase said. I sucked my teeth, “Typical Chase, always tryna be the manly man,” I teased causing Darryl to laugh.
“Yeah, whatever. Go ahead and enjoy yaselves. I got this,” he said with a sexy swaggering smirk. Darryl shrugged her shoulders and opened her menu. The entire night we engaged in conversation like no other. She told me about my grandson, Keith. I saw a picture of him too. He was beautiful. Those eyes, Lord Jesus they were gorgeous. She talked about the Parkers. I remembered the Parkers from way back when. I know Ms. Andrews couldn’t stand Mrs. Parker at all! It brought back some funny memories. She told me how she was studying to be a pediatrician and was currently working at Ruby Tuesdays. My nervousness finally went away. She began asking me questions putting me on the hot spot. “So I understand I have a little brother and sister?” she asked.
“Yes. Christina is ten and Kenneth Jr is gonna be three in two months.” She made a stank face at me. I laughed. “Why the face?” I asked.
“Kenneth. I hate that name, I swear,” she said cringing in her seat.
“Aww, don’t take it out on your little brother. We call him KJ mostly anyway,” I said with a smile.
“This is really beautiful,” Chase added smiling at the two of us. “I gotta admit I thought this was going to be a bit of a catastrophe but, it turned out pretty well,” he said.
We all smiled at each other. Darryl’s face then said something else. She was feeling some kind of way. I could tell. “Mom, can I ask you something?” she asked with genuine eyes.
“Sure honey. You can ask me anything.”
“How come you never came back for me? How come you never checked on me?” she asked. My heart cracked. It wasn’t broken because, truthfully, I knew that question was coming. I sipped some of my sweet tea. Chase looked at us awkwardly. I knew I had to answer her, with the truth. “Darryl sweetheart,” I started trying hard not to cry. “There was a lot going on with me at the time. It took a long time for me to get myself together. I knew if I were to take you with me, I’d be screwing up your life before it began.” I felt tears coming on. I didn’t want to cry. I really didn’t. “It’s not like I never thought about you. It’s not like I never wanted to get you back. How would that look though? I couldn’t interrupt your perfect life with my drama. I couldn’t live with myself knowing that whenever I chose to come back either way you would resent me.” I used my diner napkin to dab the tears away from my face. “I’ve never not once regret bringing you into this world Darryl. I don’t regret leaving you to better myself. I don’t regret leaving you in order for you to have a stable life. What I regret is the path I took before you came along. Maybe if I handled things differently, we’d be in a different situation.” She smiled and wiped some tears from her eyes. Chase held both of our hands, trying to be the strength for both of us. “Mom, I don’t resent you,” she said with a smile.
“Mom. I like hearing that come from your mouth.” It was seriously a life changing experience. I was in love with my daughter. That was weird. I called her my daughter. We finally made it to dessert until another question came up. “Can you tell me about my dad?” she asked.
“Darryl, I don’t think—” Chase injected.
“No it’s fine. Um, your father. His name was Ronald Tanner. We were ten years apart having a secret relationship.” She looked at me intrigued, thirsty for more. “He was married. I didn’t care. I was loved your father, I really did. So if having to share him with his wife meant I could keep him too…I shared.”
“Dang,” Darryl added. I laughed. “The main reason why I left your father was his reaction to my pregnancy. First he thought I got pregnant on purpose, out of spite. For what? I don’t know. It’s not like I was jealous. I said it then, and I’ll say it now. His wife ain’t had nothin on me,” I said with a little sass. Darryl laughed at my little attitude. Chase just shook his head. I knew he was seeing the old me. Christina. “Then he thought I was cheating on him, and that I was pregnant by someone else. Now, I know I did a few things in my past to get by, but with your father, trust me, I never cheated. Ever.” Chase laughed at my facial expression. They always use to make him smile. “So that’s it? He just assumed you were spiteful and a cheater?” Darryl asked.
“I wish that was it. The icing on the cake is what truly hurt the most.” I looked at Darryl with a straight face. “Your father wanted me to get an abortion. …he wanted no part of this. I guess that day I realized that he never really loved me. So I packed my bags and left. At the time, I wasn’t sacrificing you for anything or anyone.” I chuckled to myself. “Geez, I never seen or spoke to Ron ever since that day.” There was an awkward silence at the table. I awaited for anyone to jump out and save the conversation. “So, where are you staying?”
“With Chase? Keith and I are staying with Chase.”
“Really? You didn’t tell me that?” I said to Chase.
“Well, I thought you would just assume. Who else does she know in Cali?”
“You know what, whenever you get tired of Chase, you can come stay with me sweetie. Anytime as long as you want,” I said grabbing her hand. She smiled and nodded. Our waiter came with our check. I passed it to Chase with a smirk on my face. He opened it and made a funny puffy facial expression. “Mmhmm, just like I thought. Gimme that check!” I said laughing. Dinner went perfectly, as much of a disaster I thought it would be, it was perfect. “Here honey, let me give you my number,” I said to Darryl before departure. I took a business card out of my purse and wrote on the back of it. “The top is my cell, the bottom one is the home. I think you called that one already,” I said teasing. She giggled, “Thanks mom.” She gave me a long warm hug. I just wanted to stay there forever. “We’ll get together soon mom. I want you to meet Keith. And I gotta meet my little brother and sister too, and your husband,” she said with a sweet smile.
“Okay baby, Chase make sure you get her back safe,” I demanded. He looked at me like I spewed foolishness out my mouth. He came over and gave me an affectionate hug. He smelled so good. Like sweet lavender. I wanted to stay right there in his arms. Every time I was with Chase I felt security. “Call me if you need me,” he cooed in my ear. I nodded. We broke embrace and I watched them walk off until the valet came with my car.
I walked in my house quietly. It was a little past 11pm. I knew Kenneth was gonna be pissed. I walked up the stairs. Every step I took there was aloud creek. At least it seemed loud since it was silent as hell in here. I tiptoed through the halls checking in on my children. Both Chrissy and KJ were sound asleep in their respective beds. I had no clue where Kenny was. He would have said something if he was downstairs. That is unless he was sleeping. I stepped into my room. I could hear Kenneth’s snores the further I went. I cut on the nearest lamp only to find my baby stretched out sleep on the bed with his head cocked to the side. I slipped out of my dress and stilettos and crept over to Kenny. I almost wanted to laugh. Awww. My baby looked so peaceful sleeping there. I playfully kissed his cheek until he opened his eyes. He groaned like a zombie turning over. “Are you spending the night?” I whispered.
“time is it?” he asked in a drained voice with his face in the pillow.
“11:13.”
“thought you said you’d be home by ten,” he groaned.
“I know. Things ran over a little bit.” I cut the lamp back off and slid in bed with nothing but my black bra and panties. Before I knew it Kenny was sleeping again. “Kenny,” I whispered. Nothing but his snores. “Kenny!” I sharply whispered again. “Hmm!” he groaned.
“Aren’t you gonna ask me about the dinner?” He was silent for a second. “Kenny,” I whimpered straddling him playfully. “Vanessa, baby I’m tired. Get off me,” he grunted playfully shoving me off and turning over on his stomach. I snickered. One thing I can admit, I was very childish with Kenny when he wanted sleep. I would bother, pick, and annoy him until he just woke up. I cuddled up next to him on my stomach. I ran my toes up and down his pants. “Vanessaaaa,” he groaned tiredly.
“Why do you have your clothes on? Take them off. How you suppose to sleep in that?” I asked being a pest.
“Are you gonna suck my dick?” he asked laughing a little.
“No!” I shrieked pushing him.
“Then they’re not coming off.” He turned over and pulled me closer to him. I rested my head on his chest like I often did every night as he placed his arm around me. I rubbed my face on his shirt comfortably, like a cat on its owner’s leg. “Kenneth, do you forgive me?” I asked nervous for his answer.
“Vanessa, I love you. I forgave you yesterday when you called me. I’m not gonna forgive you ever again if you don’t let me get some sleep.” I giggled. He caressed my arm only to suddenly stop. Then there were snores.
Thank you God. Thank you for mending my husband’s heart and allowing him to forgive me for my deceit. Thank you for bringing Chase back to me. Thank you for fixing what was wrong. Most importantly God, thank you for Darryl. Thank you that she doesn’t hate me, or resent me. Thank you for letting her grow into the beautiful woman that she is. God, I just thank you. But I have to ask you for just one more favor…